Gotta question...

In the "miseinen no ko no shimei" part it asks
"otto gas hiken wo okonau ko" & "tsuma ga shinken wo okonau ko"

is dual custody indicated by placing all the children on both sides

or is it more WHERE the children will be residing after the divorce is completed?

"Shinken" is the equivilent of custody. There is *NO* joint custody in Japan - the kid/s either go to the Mother or Father - or get divvied-up between them like chattels.

Thanks Mulboyne.

Thats what I thought. Just checking.

We are amicable so it isn't a major problem except that they are not with me.

American Oyaji.

Thanx - your welcome.

hi american oyaji, i don't think we've talked before. i'm sure most of the long-termers here are familiar with this site:

http://www.crnjapan.com/en/

but on the slight chance just in case you weren't, you may find it of interest, even if it's not directly applicable to your situation since you've said it's amicable. there are a lot of very knowledgeable people on there that could help you, should the need arise.

apologies in advance if this was already posted / common knowledge.

Hey james, I've been there and I just got an email back from them that confirms what everyone here has said.

American Oyaji.

Thanx - your welcome.

AO, you've namechecked me and james in your thanks but not veracotti who actually replied to your original question. I think he might have noticed.

Ya think?

Had he come back and said, "why didn't you thank me too?" I would have been honor bound and shamed into thanking him.

However, he chose the method he did which does not obligate a response on my part even though I was remiss in thanking him in the first place.



However....Veracotti, I thank you.

http://www.ikjeld.com/japannews/00000352.php

Arudou paints a very negative picture. "Veterans of broken Japanese marriages very often lead separate lives without any connection to each other or the children for decades." This is true. But there are also people who manage to work things out. I went through a divorce with a Japanese spouse, and my daughter visited and stayed with me. We still have regular contact now, some 17 years after the divorce.

The key point in Japan for any kind of success, including a positive end to a divorce, is trying to find a meeting point. Few people in this culture, is my experience, handle conflict well. Fight for reconciliation, don't fight for your rights.

Parents' rights a demographic issue
japantimes.co.jp / 2006 July 18[url]
http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/ ... 718z2.html[/url]
With recent news that the country's fertility rate hit a new historical low in 2005, the government will doubtless consider more policies to encourage Japanese people to have more children.....Japanese men appear to get a bad deal when it comes to family. On the one hand, they are expected to be the traditionally stoic salarymen. But they are also now expected to be "modern" fathers -- to change diapers and perform other parental duties, which many Western men take for granted.
.....The problem is that the Japanese legal system cannot (or will not) protect this investment when a marriage fails (or when there is no marriage to start with -- fathers have virtually no rights to children born out of marriage)...
...fathers can go for months without seeing their own children. And if a mother (or rare custodial father) opposes visitation there is not much that the court system can do. Even if visitation is agreed to and ordered by a court, it is usually not enforceable: there are few serious sanctions for ignoring family court orders....The lack of enforceability means that the parent who creates a status quo first [by parental abduction] will likely win in litigation, the courts not being able to do much other than ratify what has already happened.
....For those people who have experienced such tragedies, it would be unsurprising if some concluded that there is simply too much pain and emotional risk associated with marriage and childbirth....

Well, it's a done deal. Divorce was official as of June 30.

We had planned it and said we were doing it, but now it's 100% official and legal.

Next month I can marry my best friend. (haven't seen my "ex" in six years)

Just joking people. Just joking.

Well AO, I hope you are doing OK. I know you said it was all planned etc, but still divorce is not pleasant.... keep your chin up mate.

Thanks GG. You're a doll.
But I'm really OK. When she first asked for a divorce a couple years ago, I won't deny that it fucked me up pretty badly. She kept asking for one and then when I finally said yes, she didn't (wouldn't) send the paper. (WTF!!?)
Even though she's the mother of my children, I'm glad to be free of her legally.
I won't say anything more bad about her, but she was a fricking drama storm and I hate drama.

Next step is getting my kids HERE. Yes. I have a plan and with God's help I WILL win. She can't hold a steady job for some reason. I'll be in Japan in December. Buying my tickets soon.

Congrats on becoming a divorcee...

Good luck, AO, with what's ahead of ya.

Sillygirl....also divorced from a J person...

A question related to this topic:

If one divorces a Japanese national by mutual consent, can one parent take custody temporarily (again by mutual agreement), and then have custody transferred at a later date? Are there forms for this sort of situation? Or, would it have to be done unofficially, with the parent taking final custody just putting that on the forms, and having their ex- take care of the kids for the short term...?

American Oyaji wrote:Well, it's a done deal. Divorce was official as of June 30.

We had planned it and said we were doing it, but now it's 100% official and legal.

GJ brought up an old thread where you were going back in 2003 for the divorce etc. It has only just come through?

You like the weather up north in December do you? Seems that is when you visit.

I hope you can make a good arrangement regarding your kids.

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