The Ghost of AssKissinger wrote:Wow Skanky! It's amazing you know more about my wife ( I mean widow) than I do.
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The Ghost of AssKissinger wrote:Wow Skanky! It's amazing you know more about my wife ( I mean widow) than I do.
DJEB wrote:Honest analysis always led me to the conclusion that I was either being subborn or being an asshole.
Mels wrote:It is not the culture so much the CHARACTER of the person you are involved with...if they are a certain way and you dont like it, it isnt because they are a J girl, american girl, malay girl, english girl...it is who the person is on the inside.
Mels wrote: Any thoughts or stories about this? Good and bad?
Never date a Japanese girl who has dated a gaijin before.
NeoNecroNomiCron wrote:A big warning. Never date a Japanese girl who has dated a gaijin before. Its not a joke either. Never ever do it. The got dumped for a reason, they are quite selfish and are looking for fill a void.
To Japanese men, Japanese women are seen as quite selfish. I agree, for a race that is supposed to be unemotional Jgirls sure do cry a lot. Really a lot over the smallest of things.
Skankster wrote:-This situation drives them into a lovers paranoia. Mark my word on this one. I am still trying to figure out a method to effectively risk manage this factor...
tatsujin wrote:Failing that I find the maxim from the Hagakure always helps - "One should make his decision within the space of seven breaths"
FG Lurker wrote:I dealt with this very early in the relationship with my wife (girlfriend then of course).
At the time I was working as an English teacher and had a lot of plutonic friendships with female ex-students, and some current students. Going out for dinner with them didn't sit too well with the missus! I told her that these are my friends, and if she can't handle it then the relationship between us will never work. We had a talk about trust and I told her that if she went out for dinner with plutonic male friends that would be fine too.
It took a bit of time for her to come to terms with that, but she did, and we've been together about 10 years now. We've never had a problem with this since.
I think it is just an issue of finding a women with enough self confidence, and then building enough trust in the relationship. Jealousy from either side starts a trip down a very slipperly slope.
Ian
Mulboyne wrote: I've seen guys suddenly see their wife as a liability almost as soon as they pass through immigration at Narita.
mrmachine wrote:what was she like before, and after?
have you settled or do you plan to settle in japan, or your native country?
did you meet her in japan during your travels, or elsewhere during her travels?
GridReaper wrote: I was planning to move over in January, but she said she was too busy with work to "babysit" me until May.
Kick her to the curb.GridReaper wrote:Oh, I have to save ~$10k for Japanese tuition and to get a STUDENT visa. Yeah, she was really subtle on tha visa thing....
cstaylor wrote:Kick her to the curb.
Well, are you getting anything out of this marriage? She must be quite the looker to marry you, then demand that you get on a student visa, which would require you to clock 30+ hours a week in class.GridReaper wrote:Plus, an actual divorce would be just an exercise of definition at this point since we live apart from each other. I'll give it try next year and see if our situation improves.
GridReaper wrote:cstaylor wrote:Kick her to the curb.
Nah, we discussed this over drinks over the weekend and she admits she has been a bit demanding. We'll see if her attitude changes now that I am back in Hawaii.
Plus, an actual divorce would be just an exercise of definition at this point since we live apart from each other. I'll give it try next year and see if our situation improves.
Plus, all the miles I rake up every year gets me on JAL's Crystal JMB program. Although, flying back and forth 4-6 times a year can be quite costly.
cstaylor wrote:Well, are you getting anything out of this marriage?
She must be quite the looker to marry you, then demand that you get on a student visa, which would require you to clock 30+ hours a week in class.
you filed her green card paperwork yet?
Samurai_Jerk wrote:No offense, dude, but you are being a pussy. She doesn't just need to be kicked to the curb, she need to be kicked off the curb and into an oncoming bus. Don't put up with that shit.
Samurai_Jerk wrote:It's perfectly reasonable for a woman not to want you to have dinner alone with another woman. Spending time alone witht the opposite sex is the real slippery slope. Men an women cannot truly be friends (unless the guy is gay). It's all spelled out in the Ladder Theory: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
FG Lurker wrote:Samurai_Jerk wrote:It's perfectly reasonable for a woman not to want you to have dinner alone with another woman. Spending time alone witht the opposite sex is the real slippery slope. Men an women cannot truly be friends (unless the guy is gay). It's all spelled out in the Ladder Theory: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
The Ladder Theory is a crock of shit.
Both the ladder theory and your comments above are generalizations of all men and all women. Do you really think that all men are the same and that all women are the same? And if so, why is that different from people who think all Japanese are the same, all Americans are the same, all Chinese are the same?
Coming from someone who got upset because a Korean convenience store owner assumed he couldn't use chopsticks, I find this more than mildly hypocritical.
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