Okay, I knew the family (I've played golf with the father three or four times), but I had never met his youngest son (the deceased).
GomiGirl: we didn't have coins in this funeral. Perhaps it depends on the priests the family picks, or maybe just a family preference?
Now, about the chopsticks: I had a difficult time with this, and I didn't even know the deceased... I can't imagine what the family and close relatives were experiencing. The priests (with the help of the crematory employees) slide the casket into a silver cart, and everyone is urged to have a final look at the deceased before the cremation. When they open the top of the casket, the deceased's face is surrounded by flowers (I don't know what kind they are).
Once everyone is done paying their respects, the casket is closed and loaded into the cremation chamber. Next, the priests set up a table where we offer our last respects as the body is consumed... it's difficult to describe, but the priests are chanting as we lift (what I think is ash, but I don't really know), bow to it, and place it over in a separate container.
After everyone is finished here, the guests go over to a waiting room, where most people drink something with alcohol in it (after seeing that poor kid's face, I must have finished one of those large Asahi battles by myself) while the cremation is in progress. It took about a half-hour.
We are called back into the cremation room, and the employees open the chamber and remove the remains... for me, this was the roughest part. They *scrape* the bones and ash that have fused themselves to the board into a large metal container, and then the priests bring the container over to a large table. They do something that I couldn't see (I'm not as tall as Brad), and then we line up in pairs to approach the table. The bones have been sorted (my wife told me that certain bones must be placed by the family at the end). I stand next to my wife, and we lift what looks like a joint of some kind (I'm no doctor, so I'm not sure what we had) together using our chopsticks. All the time the priests are chanting... it's tough to describe, but I'm very glad that I drank before this part of the funeral.
