Professional bourbon drinker / schmoozer / Bill Murray

[Western All Stars]

[Greji]

***************** JOB NUMBER # A080516 **********************

Brand Ambassador for American Bourbon distillery "Maker's Mark"

*************************************************************

Where was this fucking job when I was 40? We're talking top shelf hootch here! Free at that. I fit everything on the application, plus having a professional alcoholic's license, with the special hooker evaluation stamp issued by the Roppongi Bar Owner's Association.
Unfortunately I'm 200 years too old.

For free belts while promoting the product, I'd work for free. Besides only 600man with two bonuses would just put me in another tax bracket (take that Jack)!

Oh well, win some, lose some and some get rained out. There's always Happy Hour and Noriko....

[halfnip]

Where was this fucking job when I was 40? We're talking top shelf hootch here! Free at that. I fit everything on the application, plus having a professional alcoholic's license, with the special hooker evaluation stamp issued by the Roppongi Bar Owner's Association.
Unfortunately I'm 200 years too old.

For free belts while promoting the product, I'd work for free. Besides only 600man with two bonuses would just put me in another tax bracket (take that Jack)!

Oh well, win some, lose some and some get rained out. There's always Happy Hour and Noriko....

Nowhere in the job description does it mention goat milk, Greji.

[Greji]

[quote="halfnip"]Nowhere in the job description does it mention goat milk, Greji. ]

Hey, that's a good drink with burbon. But as I say where's the justice that they would offer this job now?

[Iraira]

This has gotta be a joke....but I can't find where it says that the applicant must also enjoy having empty whiskey bottles shoved into their orifaces. I should apply for this, it's a great way to act pompous, "Why yes, nani-nani brand does make a decent whiskey...if you are thinking of using it to kill the weeds choking off your begonias...hahaha. That's why I only drink...."

[Greji]

This has gotta be a joke....but I can't find where it says that the applicant must also enjoy having empty whiskey bottles shoved into their orifaces. I should apply for this, it's a great way to act pompous, "Why yes, nani-nani brand does make a decent whiskey...if you are thinking of using it to kill the weeds choking off your begonias...hahaha. That's why I only drink...."

I choked my begonia last night, but I was drinking scotch, does that get any points?

[Iraira]

I choked my begonia last night, but I was drinking scotch, does that get any points?

Depends on whether we are going to compete for this illustrious job. As I see it, you have at least three advantages over me. You speaky better J than me, have more begonia choking experience, and I will have to go to the hospital if I drink over one shot of the stuff. Other than that, this is my job to get.

[Greji]

Other than that, this is my job to get.

I didn't check the contract. Does it have a pervert clause? If so you may in fact qualify!

[Iraira]

I didn't check the contract. Does it have a pervert clause? If so you may in fact qualify!

I'll save everyone the trouble of mentioning the obvious: I'm possibly overqualified in that regard.

[American Oyaji]

This job would be perfect, except that I don't live in Japan anymore.

[Iraira]

This job would be perfect, except that I don't live in Japan anymore.

Did you look at the hours...boozing from 1pm until midnight.
Plus, the ad says,

The decision will take into account the applicant's skills, previous experience, and income at previously held positions. [Annual salary example]

Always a catch.

[American Oyaji]

Did you look at the hours...boozing from 1pm until midnight.
Plus, the ad says,

Always a catch.

Uhh. Yeah. I read that. Didn't see a problem.

I happen to LIKE Maker's Mark.

I could sell snow to an Eskimo, so I KNOW I could convince Japanese people to like MM.

[Iraira]

Uhh. Yeah. I read that. Didn't see a problem.

I happen to LIKE Maker's Mark.

I could sell snow to an Eskimo, so I KNOW I could convince Japanese people to like MM.

Ok, I'm part Eskimo...let's hear your sales pitch.....