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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto

The Official SPAM Thread

Groovin' in the Gaijin Gulag
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194 posts • Page 1 of 7 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 7

The Official SPAM Thread

Postby Captain Japan » Sun Jan 01, 2006 1:05 pm

I get boatloads of SPAM everyday. Most of it is for cialis and university diplomas. But sometimes it is related to Japan. I'm going post some of the better stuff here. The one below from Itochu is the first...

ITOCHU Corporation
5-1, Kita-Aoyama 2-chome
Minato-ku, Tokyo 107-8077, Japan
Web: http://www.itochu.co.jp/main/coy/coy_1e.html

COMPANY REPRESENTATIVE REQUIRED

I am Mr. Eizo Kobayashi, president ITOCHU Corporation based in Japan. We specialized in the iron and steel products. We are searching for representatives who can help us establish a medium of getting to our customers in the Canada/America and other nearby countries as well as making payments through you to us. You do not have to leave your present job for this one because this job offer will be on a part time basis as it comes once in a while and remuneration is on a percentage basis of 10% of the total amount you receive from my customers at any time on my behalf.

The reason why i seek your assistance is that American and Canadian checks takes a long time to clear here in Japan. Thereby holding business down for me and my associates. Now i already have customers who are ready to remit cash to me. Please to facilitate the conclusion of this transaction if accepted, do send me promptly the following informations below by
my private email: itouch_cooparation_1@yahoo.co.jp

(1)Your full names:
(2)Contact address:
(3)Tele/cell numbers:
(4)Occupation:
(5)Age:
(6)Sex:
(7)scan copy of international passport:
Image
Eizo Kobayashi
President and Chief Executive Officer.
EMAIL:itouch_cooparation_1@yahoo.co.jp
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Re: The Official SPAM Thread

Postby Captain Japan » Sun Jan 01, 2006 1:06 pm

Some guy named Stephen Thompson wanted me to know Japan is cruel...
Dear Captain japan,

Would I like to tell you something? Yes I would.

FACT: japan's program of "research whaling" is a filthy lie
since the IWC has recommended non-lethal means to carrying
out the research japan's JARPAII claims to want to conduct.
But then herein LIES the truth. The nation of japan has
attempted to disguise its illegal whale-killing operation
under the heading of research whaling.

FACT: japan is breaking international law with its illegal
whale-killing program. japan is going against the moratorium
of the IWC and acting like a spoilt miss-behaving brat of a
child in desperate need of a good spanking.

FACT: japan has invaded Australia's territorial waters and
the waters of the southern ocean whale sanctuary and is as
we speak going against the wishes of 97% of Australians who
want the japanese whale killers driven back home.

FACT: Any nation that resorts to the cowardly killing of
highly intelligent mammals has no honor whatsoever.

Furthermore I wish to express my anger and outrage to the
nation of
japan for allowing the dishonorable barbaric, cowardly and
extremely cruel acts of savagery your country condones as an
expression of your "culture" against helpless animals who
deserve our compassion. And I have nothing but contempt for
any culture that condones whales and dolphins to be
slaughtered.

And I will do everything I am legally entitled to do within
the boundary of the law to show the world what japan is all
about in the hopes that others will join our ranks in
opposition of your nation's lawless and barbaric actions and
anything I can do to educate others about japan to hopefully
prevent them from buying japanese products and using
japanese services I will most certainly do.

With great contempt,

Stephen Thompson
Richmond, British Columbia, Canada
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Re: The Official SPAM Thread

Postby Captain Japan » Sun Jan 01, 2006 1:07 pm

More from Stephen...
What's next japan?

How about the collective rape of an entire city of helpless
humans?

Oh, wait... (Nanking) I forgot japan has already done this.

So what's next japan? japan the nation that allows
sub-human-filth to kill whales and dolphins, japan the
nation of habitual liars that makes ridiculous claims such
as "research whaling" japan the nation of spoilt brats that
invades the territorial waters of other sovereign nations.
japan the nation that when it doesn't get its way (i.e. the
IWC's upheld moratorium on whaling) has a temper tantrum
like a sniveling little spoilt child and disobeys the rules
it is supposed to honor and obey.

So what IS next japan?

japan - THE CRUELEST MOST DISHONORABLE NATION ON PLANET
EARTH
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Re: The Official SPAM Thread

Postby Greji » Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:37 pm

Captain Japan wrote:"....And I will do everything I am legally entitled to do within
the boundary of the law to show the world what japan is all
about in the hopes that others will join our ranks in
opposition of your nation's lawless and barbaric actions and
anything I can do to educate others about japan to hopefully
prevent them from buying japanese products and using
japanese services I will most certainly do. ...."

With great contempt,

Stephen Thompson
Richmond, British Columbia, Canada...."


Stephen-kun's excellent punction and use of subordinate clauses provides for some unusual reading, maybe transfering meanings he didn't intend. Especially since he doesn't have the foggiest idea to whom he is writing!

However, be that as it may, I will not use any of your services either Cap'n! Especially since I have learned from another thread that you have given the Conbini hooker concession that I wanted wanted so badly to GJ!

:rofl:[code][/code]
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Re: The Official SPAM Thread

Postby Captain Japan » Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:39 pm

gboothe wrote:Ahem, I will not use any of your services either Cap'n! Especially since it appears you have given the Conbini hooker concession that I wanted to GJ!

:rofl:

I only gave it to him because he asked first.
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Re: The Official SPAM Thread

Postby GuyJean » Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:42 pm

gboothe wrote:I will not use any of your services either Cap'n! Especially since I have learned from another thread that you have given the Conbini hooker concession that I wanted so badly to GJ!
:rofl:
Hey, there's plenty to go around; conbinis are on every corner. ;) But I'm also trying to expand. The 'Vending Machine Geisha' niche has yet to be explored.. And I looove exploring new niches.. ;)

GJ
[SIZE="1"]Worthy Linkage: SomaFM Net Radio - Slate Explainer - MercyCorp Donations - FG Donations - TDV DailyMotion Vids - OnionTV[/SIZE]
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Re: The Official SPAM Thread

Postby Greji » Sun Jan 01, 2006 7:03 pm

GuyJean wrote:
gboothe wrote:I will not use any of your services either Cap'n! Especially since I have learned from another thread that you have given the Conbini hooker concession that I wanted so badly to GJ!
:rofl:
Hey, there's plenty to go around]

You are not going to leave me with the vending machine concession. I tried that and everytime I put in 100 yen in the geisha slot, Laser Ramon came out!
8)
"There are those that learn by reading. Then a few who learn by observation. The rest have to piss on an electric fence and find out for themselves!"- Will Rogers
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Re: The Official SPAM Thread

Postby GuyJean » Sun Jan 01, 2006 7:14 pm

gboothe wrote:I tried that and everytime I put in 100 yen in the geisha slot, Laser Ramon came out!
8)
:lol: You should've tried the Bukkake Udon.. But it'll cost ya more than 100 yen.. ]Udon & Soba
Bukkake $6.75
Nabeyaki $8.00 - http://www.japaneserestaurantnavi.com/maruichi.html[/quote] GJ
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Re: The Official SPAM Thread

Postby Greji » Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:21 pm

GuyJean wrote:
gboothe wrote:I tried that and everytime I put in 100 yen in the geisha slot, Laser Ramon came out!
8)
:lol: You should've tried the Bukkake Udon.. But it'll cost ya more than 100 yen.. ]Udon & Soba
Bukkake $6.75
Nabeyaki $8.00 - http://www.japaneserestaurantnavi.com/maruichi.html
GJ[/quote]

I am no even going to try to ask how you found Bukkake Udon, not for 200 yen or even $6.75!

I guess I'm stuck with HG!!
:puke:
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Postby dimwit » Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:36 pm

Bukkake udon is udon with a simple broth and it originates in Kagawa where I used to live. If you ask the local there about the another meaning for bukkake, they would probably shrug their shoulders.
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Postby kamome » Mon Jan 02, 2006 3:57 pm

dimwit wrote:Bukkake udon is udon with a simple broth and it originates in Kagawa where I used to live. If you ask the local there about the another meaning for bukkake, they would probably shrug their shoulders.


Doesn't bukkake udon have an egg in it?
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Postby dimwit » Mon Jan 02, 2006 7:47 pm

Yes it does have eggs and chives in it.
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Postby IkemenTommy » Tue Jan 03, 2006 11:30 pm

The Most Trusted Online Pharmacy

100% Discreet
No prescription required
Money back guarantee

http://oijoij.com/?3832Fc00a0c8bed0965Feaa9e0W73e52

..
Discontinue, http://oijoij.com/fgh.php

And numerous other emails about erectile disfunction and penile extension :confused: :shake:
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Postby Greener » Fri Jan 13, 2006 5:53 am

Just spamming my new website!!!

Scream Queen Central: Celebrating the Ladies of Horror!
http://www.freewebs.com/screamqueens
Check out what I think you gaijins should be doing when you get to Japan at http://www.tokyoessentials.com ! Cum on, DO IT, I know you want to...
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Postby Captain Japan » Sun Jan 15, 2006 4:14 pm

Some lady named Elenore sent me this...
Elenore wrote:The Japanese slaughterers of whales have not changed their tactics since WW11. They are torturers, murderers, lyers and 95% of the world population still hate them.[/url]

It's not really spam (because it was sent to me) but I figured it had sentiments that were similar to what I posted to start this thread.
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Postby Greji » Sun Jan 15, 2006 8:38 pm

[quote="GuyJean"]:lol: You should've tried the Bukkake Udon.. But it'll cost ya more than 100 yen.. ]
New GJ Combini outlet found!
Image
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Postby dimwit » Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:02 pm

Lately I have been offered alot of weight loss stuff....

A New Year, A New You! Let Hoodia XPF Show you how...

If you're willing to lose up to 23 pounds in 12 weeks, we would like you to try Hoodia XPF for FREE!

Claim Free 1 Month Supply!

* Feel Fuller on Less Food
* All Natural Formula
* Boosts Energy
* Starts Working Immediately
* Satisfaction Guaranteed!

You Have Been Randomly Selected to Try Hoodia XPF for a full month free!

Claim Free 1 Month Supply!



Other people win millions in European lotteries and all they offer me in weight loss stuff.

That and online degrees in criminology. If they only offered degrees in taxidermy I might be tempted.
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Postby Greji » Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:43 pm

dimwit wrote:Other people win millions in European lotteries and all they offer me in weight loss stuff.


Hey Dimwit, you just don't have the touch! I have won all the on-line lotteries for Belgium, Holland, the UK, a couple from South Africa and others in several places I have never heard of. But, with all that, I can't believe I haven't won anything from Nigeria,which seems strange since I've lost so many relatives there.
:rofl:
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Postby Captain Japan » Wed Feb 22, 2006 10:54 pm

These spammers can't even spell the company's name right...
Mr WATARU HIRAISHI
C E O,
AZUMA TSUCHO CO LTD.
JAPAN.

This mail is
serving as an invitation to treat with the above named
company. I will
not fail to state that I am sorry for encroaching in
your privacy.Our
company was established in 1991. Over the years we
have accumulated
invaluable experience in our business and we are proud
to claim we are
second to none.

Our line of business includes food produce wholesale,
export of fresh
and frozen produce fish and vegetable,soy bean paste,
pickles,
seasoning, and many varieties of dry foods.Over the years we
have
limited countries where our products are been exported, due to the
quality of our products we have sucessfully some few customers in the
America continent Due to the increase in demand of our products in
America and Canada,we have decided to move our products fully into the
continent of America.
By doing so,we are searching for reliable
persons/companies who can act as a
DISTRIBUTOR/RECEIVING OFFICER who
will act as medium of reach between
our customers and us in their area
of locality.Note that,if finally
aprroved as our Representative,you are
entitled to an annual income of
$24,000USD
and 5% of whatever amount
you receive from customers who
are making payments for outstanding
invoices on behalf of the company.

Our account officer in Japan will
convey to you the medium which
you will use to remit any funds
received on our behalf. If you are
interested in being a RECEIVING
OFFICER in the above location and your
locality, please fill out this
form below:

Azuma Tsusho Co.,Ltd. Distributor/Receiving account
Form

Title please select Ms Mr Mrs Dr
First Name:
Surname:
Age:
PostalAddress:
Phone/Fax:

Do you have an exclusive relationship with
another
Japan based company? YES /NO
Please also let us know the best
time to reach you
on phone especially as we have a difference in time.
Thank you for your time.

Respectfully Submitted,
Wataru Hiraishi
Director
Azuma Tsusho Co.,Ltd
2-13-3 Ginza, Chuo-ku,
Tokyo 104-0061
JAPAN.
To file your other enquiries,please contact your agent
departiment (Mrs Nakasha Azuma)e-mail address (agentazuma@yahoo.com

For our products click the webpage below;
http://www.atc-tokyo.
com/product.html
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Postby Ol Dirty Gaijin » Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:08 pm

" wrote:Attn:The Managing Director
Before I proceed, may I humbly introduce myself to your goodself, My Name is Mrs. Kudarat Moosa, an Iraqi refugee ,my husband was until recently, one of the personal aid to the president of Iraq who was formerly overthrown out of power by American Government .
Prior to this last serious crisis that is still ravaging in my country,which recently led to misfortune of our government and my late husband position as the personal aid to the president, ,We inherited the sum of US$16 million.The funds were originally gotten from my late husband proceeds. My late husband was able to safe guard the fund with a very good diplomatic contact from my Country and deposited it in thailand. .
I have decided to contact you because I am interested in investing in your country which is investment friendly. Please kindly guide and assist me in making the right investment since I am also interested in buying a residential property as I will be moving with my only son Abdullah Moosa, in over there as soon as every thing regarding technical and logictics details is worked out and ascertained to our respective satisfaction.
In view of your participation,I am ready to give you a good negotiable percentage for your assistance,or better still commit it into viable Joint venture projects with you.,be assured that you stand no risk of any kind as the funds belong to me and my only survived son musa. As soon as I get your consent, we will quickly move this fund to your country for investment .
However, upon your acceptance to work as my partner, you can contact me with my private e-mail for more details.
, I strongly believe that associating with you to embark on this and other business ventures will derive a huge success here after, please include you private contact telephone number and private e-mail when replying.pls contact me in my private email at .....
Yours Sincerely.
Mrs.Kudarat Moosa.

Damn those Americans displacing the poor people of Iraqi moving to Thailand that want to invest in Japan.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
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Postby IkemenTommy » Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:33 pm

I get shit about 5 or 6 of these emails about "Cialis 20 Pills 20 mg $129.95" a day. I set the filter up to clean these out but the sneaky bastards come in different spelling variations (Viagra, Vi@gra, V1agra, Vlagra, etc...) and go undetected
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Postby GomiGirl » Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:40 pm

are you using a spam guard? some good ones around that you just use in conjunction with your normal mail client and you "teach" it which emails are spam etc. I use Spam sieve and it takes care of all these erectile disfuction emails.
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Postby dimwit » Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:42 pm

Yeah wouldn't you love to have the job to come up with creative ways to send spam that won't be blocked. :???:

My spam of the day insures me a bright and profitable future.


Hello Sss,

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so being able to make a real financial contribution to our family budget
and be at home as a mom is very important to me…In just a couple hours a week,
I am able to meet our financial goals, leaving me plenty of time to do the things that are really important to me in life…"
-Ruth G., Rexburg, ID

"This is a simple way to make money from your home. I was skeptical at first...
I made money. I couldn't believe it. I didn't even have to run to the post office.
I am a wife and stay at home mother of two wonderful children so I don't have a lot of
time to sit in front of a computer. I really made money from my home and didn't have
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- Nicole K., Rockford, IL

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Online Supplier
404 East First St #1345
Long Beach, CA 90802
To be removed, email



CR Mailer
P.O. Box 55246
Valencia, CA 91385
unsubscribe
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Postby IkemenTommy » Thu Feb 23, 2006 6:45 pm

GomiGirl wrote:are you using a spam guard? some good ones around that you just use in conjunction with your normal mail client and you "teach" it which emails are spam etc. I use Spam sieve and it takes care of all these erectile disfuction emails.

No, I use IMAPI which is web-based email similar to hotmail or google. It has a filtering feature but I still have to teach the tricks.

Lately, it's the annoying phishing scam mails like "Change of Ebay password" and "Illegal Access to Your Paypal", etc that I am getting.
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Postby flotsam » Thu Feb 23, 2006 10:16 pm

yeah, this spam is unbelievable. i mean, every day i get some "asian hos in your mailbox" spam. pics and all. and it just keeps on coming, day after day, tit after tit, ho after ho. for heavens sake, you sign up once in 1997 and you can't get away from these people.
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I'm richer yet!

Postby Greji » Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:19 am

Ahh, I have reaped in another bundle. Besides my inheritances from numerous dead relatives in Nigeria and elsewhere, plus winning myriad lotteries throughout Europe, my luck continues in the UK:

"....
The Lotto People
http://www.freelotto.com
PO Box 42
Peterborough
PE3 8XH
United Kingdom

AWARD NOTIFICATION


We are pleased to inform you of the announcement today 26/02/06 of your selection as one of the five winners of the promotional Free Lotto Sweepstakes held recently as part of our EXPERIMENTAL BONANZA. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of 1,400,000.000USD. (One Million Four Hundred Thousand Dollars.)

We in the Free Lottery Sweepstakes is by this program,Launching our model computer balloting lottery draws, developed and designed to satisfy the cravings of the ever-growing number of participants in our various lottery programs. With funds accrued exclusively from previous draws, payouts to all winners are guaranteed and will be transferred in record time.

After randomly selecting 15,000 participants from an initial database of 300,000 emails all participants were selected through a computer ballot system from the Middle East, Asia, Africa, Canada, Europe, USA and South America as part our International Promotions Program, which was conducted in view of launching ourselves into the Sweepstakes Industry Worldwide and zoning all participants by their respective continents from across the globe, we produced an extensive list from which you have emerged as one of the winners of the Grand Draw prize.

You are to contact our agents by email (provided below),fax or by phone calls within a week of receiving this notice. Please find full contact details below:

Mr. Dean Richards
External Service Manager,
FreeLotto Sweepstakes.
United Kingdom...."

Now that I have have amassed all my fortunes, I can afford to buy GJ (who never shouts) a pint!
"There are those that learn by reading. Then a few who learn by observation. The rest have to piss on an electric fence and find out for themselves!"- Will Rogers
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Postby nullpointer » Mon Mar 20, 2006 4:17 pm

I read someplace...

[size=-1]I just wish that I would not get emails in the same day to enlarge my breast and penis. It is just too sad and stupid[/size]
Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms should be the name of a store, not a government agency.
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Postby Greji » Mon Mar 20, 2006 4:55 pm

GomiGirl wrote:it takes care of all these erectile disfuction emails.


Are you trying to say something here?
:cool:
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Postby Yorik » Mon Mar 20, 2006 10:45 pm

I get heaps of Russian Bride emails, I like to play along with them and then ask them for money before they get the chance.. So far I have nothing except a loss of some of my time and a few laughs..
[color="Blue"]Y[/color][color="Gray"]or[/color]ik
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Mmmm

Postby kurohinge1 » Tue Mar 21, 2006 11:44 am

flotsam wrote:yeah, this spam is unbelievable. i mean, every day i get some "asian hos in your mailbox" spam. pics and all. and it just keeps on coming, day after day, tit after tit, ho after ho. for heavens sake, you sign up once in 1997 and you can't get away from these people.


You could stop paying your subscription.

;)
  • "This is the verdict: . . . " (John 3:19-21)
  • "It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others" (Anon)
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