Has Devicenull "Met the Parents" ?

[Greji]

I am from Chicagoland, grew up there and parents are still there.

Now, I can see why you don't want to go home. Reminds me of a guy I know and his "Bullfrog Beer"!

[IkemenTommy]

I believe DeviceNull is celebrating the Chinese new year right about now..

[devicenull]

I believe DeviceNull is celebrating the Chinese new year right about now..

Yep, tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and we have been getting ready to have a very unique new years that is mostly Chinese along with some western stuff mixed in. I got them Champaign, I made a sacrifice to the computer god, am getting ready to cook them a good rice-less breakfast on New Years day (scrambled eggs, pancakes, sausage, etc) and if I can't secure an oven, I am going to improvise the ever living fuck out of apple pie for them even if it means buying a frying pan to use as a pie pan, building a convection oven and heating it with coal.

[IkemenTommy]

Yep, tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and we have been getting ready to have a very unique new years that is mostly Chinese along with some western stuff mixed in. I got them Champaign, I made a sacrifice to the computer god, am getting ready to cook them a good rice-less breakfast on New Years day (scrambled eggs, pancakes, sausage, etc) and if I can't secure an oven, I am going to improvise the ever living fuck out of apple pie for them even if it means buying a frying pan to use as a pie pan, building a convection oven and heating it with coal.

Yeah I had Yu Sheng and KFC at work yesterday.
Everything else that came was just as equally greasy.. but the pork jerky wasn't too bad.

[devicenull]

Oh god... so drunk right now.

Got the entire family to take tequila shots with me. They learned that lemon is good

[SF'd Gaijin]

Oh god... so drunk right now.

Got the entire family to take tequila shots with me. They learned that lemon is good

You are the man representing all Gaijin in China. I mean, getting the family to take tequila shots...that is something. I guess you're warming the family up for the big announcement coming up soon. Wedding bells will be ringing.

Good luck with that.

Happy New Year to all....Gung Hsi Fah Tsai. (Sorry if my romanization is messed up, but I learned with so many different styles way back in the 60's, first Yale, then Wade-Giles.)

SF'd

[devicenull]

Well, shit... back in Beijing now. Neither of us really wanted to leave home, but we had to get back for school. If we could have, we would have just stayed there. Lots of tears the night before. Now that we are back in BJ, it sucks so much. We were together every day and night for a month and we loved it, we didn't piss each other off or kill each other like we thought we would. When I needed a little personal time I got it, when she needed some, I gave it to her (but over the course of the month, we didn't need that very often). Now, she is back in her dorm and missing me, and I am back in my dorm and missing her. It's hard

Also, the food here, which I thought was pretty good before... well, I realize now that it's crap. Sichuan food changed me, a lot. Things just are not spicy here. And by not spicy, I don't mean "hmm, this is a little spicy but I can manage it no problem", I mean there is no sense of any sort of spice at all. Tabasco just tastes like vineagary crap to me now, they warn me some dishes are "hot" at a restaurant and all I can taste is the undercooked veggies, no spice at all. Things like 蚝油生菜 which I liked a lot before... yea, undercooked and too sweet to me now. Now, both foreigners and northerners are calling me "picky". I'm not picky, I will eat basically anything. However, I refuse to eat food that actually makes me want to throw up because it is made wrong. This is what she went through last semester, and now I realize the full extent of it. We're gonna starve here.

[IkemenTommy]

蚝..?
If I break down the kanji correctly, is that a "hairy bug"?

[devicenull]

Not even close.

Anywho, we managed to get into a mini-fight just now... oh the joys of the rollercoaster.

[amdg]

Minifights don't matter. You have to work out who's going to be the miniboss

[devicenull]

Minifight worked out, issues have been resolved. Glad that we caught it now instead of later.

My problems: Smothering her a bit too much, not giving her space. Invading her world a little without her permission. I nagged at her a lot to finish up a paper so we could have time together. And then I contacted one of her teachers asking to audit a course before asking her if it was ok. Also, I really need to work on my Chinese a lot harder for her because I tend to lean on her too much for language issues and she shouldn't have to take care of me like that.

Her problems: Short temper lately, hard to take criticism, internet-related distractions, needs to sleep more.

We managed to work out a plan to get through the semester, I got the class I wanted, and it's all good now. I will have SANITY this semester
One of the things I love most about her is that we are able to talk about this stuff like rational adults once we have cooled down a bit. And we both feel a lot better afterwards. Love her more everyday, in peace and in battle... this just means one more thing we have overcome together and it brings us closer

[cstaylor]

I sense her flirtation with the white devil is coming to an end...

[devicenull]

Not at all really, stronger than ever to be honest. We talked about it, and basically it's like this. We just spent an entire month together, morning, noon and night, everyday. School starts on Monday. This is her downtime. She basically wants to hang out right now when she feels like it and just play around before school eats all her free time up. The fact that we will be able to have lunch and dinner together basically everyday during the semester is far better than most couples have it. Her roommate only gets to see her boyfriend on the weekends, maybe. I'm coming off of the best month of my life and it can be hard for me at times to readjust my daily routine.
Routine of last month:
Mom cooking breakfast and calling us lazy pigs.
One of us wakes up first and tortures the other one awake to eat.
Wash faces, brush teeth together.
Eat great food together.
Hang around laying in the sun on the couch till lunch or going to the city.
Great lunch at home.
Working on whatever needs to be done that day together.
Great dinner at home, usually with relatives.
Parents go off to play majiang.
We play around.
Parents come home and go to bed.
We brush teeth, wash faces, and wash each other's feet.
I tuck her into bed and kiss her goodnight before going to bed myself.

We both loved it, but we just can't be like that here back at school... it's not feasible here. The only way it could be like that is if we moved in together right now, and that would just mess up our studies at this point and hurt our futures carreer-wise. She's a very independent person, which I like because it means she won't ever just be hanging on me like most girls here I see. I really respect that aspect of her. We treat each other like equals almost all the time and share the power instead of fighting over it. Not just lovers, but best friends as well.

Anyways, she took me home, her entire family likes me, her friends all like me, and according to her roommates, she's having a hard time readjusting right now too. Wants some space so we can kind of ease into the school routine and not be feeling like we have to be with each other every minute of the day. I can accept it All things worthwhile take time

[AssKissinger]

I tuck her into bed and kiss her goodnight before going to bed myself.

Five minutes later AK sneaks in and goes deep.

[SF'd Gaijin]

Minifight worked out, issues have been resolved. Glad that we caught it now instead of later.

My ex was from that part of China.

The food was hot, the women were hot, and the tempers were even "hotter." Better be careful not to get burned.

By the way, did you ever slide into home? I am a big baseball fan.

SF'd

[IkemenTommy]

Ahh. Gaijin drama

[devicenull]

My ex was from that part of China.

The food was hot, the women were hot, and the tempers were even "hotter." Better be careful not to get burned.

By the way, did you ever slide into home? I am a big baseball fan.

SF'd

Bases have been rounded many times

[American Oyaji]

Five minutes later AK sneaks in and goes deep.

AK, even though it is a joke, you shouldn't say such things about another's beloved.

[AssKissinger]

AK, even though it is a joke, you shouldn't say such things about another's beloved.

The only thing I'm talking about is her cunt.

[American Oyaji]

OY VEY!!!

[devicenull]

The only thing I'm talking about is her cunt.

You stay away from that ass, I worked long and hard and fed it the right things to get rid of asian flat ass syndome while keeping the rest of her nice and skinny. That ass belongs to me

[American Oyaji]

unfortunately for me, my ex had a nice round behind, but her personality was such that I had to flee the country.

Now others are enjoying it. But everyone leaves her. She'll wind up as a mama at Misawa bar before she realizes how much of a iyanaonnanohito she is.

[SF'd Gaijin]

You stay away from that ass, I worked long and hard and fed it the right things to get rid of asian flat ass syndome while keeping the rest of her nice and skinny. That ass belongs to me

Speaking of flat ass......

As president of the "Yellow Shadows" I can tell you that all of our members agree that Asian women have the nicest ones....it's an obsession. I mean great figures and a tight ass....what else could an FG ask for?

Again, I say enjoy it while it lasts and don't get burned.

[devicenull]

Met her family, they fully accept me and like me a lot. We have had our big fights and worked them out. We have both invested a lot into our relationship, too much to throw it away over something stupid. We are both pretty definite that this is "the one" for us

Her temper, I didn't have to say anything about it, she apologized for it a lot today and flat out told me how to read her signs when she is not in a good mood but trying to hide it. Things between us changed back home over the last month, a lot, for the better

[American Oyaji]

That's good man. But stay out of the sheets a bit so you have something to look forward to once you're married

[devicenull]

^^^ Well, after last month, we both know what we are looking forward to. Has little to do with sex, and much to do with building a routine off of each other. Before we went, we honestly thought we were going to hate each other by the end and want to kill each other. It was a big test for us, and we passed... we actually stayed an extra 4 days because we didn't want it to end. Sex is fun and all, but we have so much more waiting for us.

Ah, one other thing... it's not dying down at all. Rather, it is just getting stronger everyday.

I do lean on her for language, but I let her lean on me for just about anything else she needs. It's just that language comes up more than the other stuff. I have my spies though, they all tell me good things. It's really obvious to them all that she is in love with me as much as I am with her (although she IS still Chinese and tries to hide it).

We have a plan worked out for this semester. We both are going to be working our asses off. The email I sent to the teacher worked, I'm auditing a normal undergrad course in Critical and Cultural Theory, which will be good for me. The teacher says the students always complain about the work load, but it isn't really all that bad. I'm reading all the Discourse Analysis stuff she will be reading so I can help out with that if she needs it (would really like to audit the class, but I don't want to invade her school life that much, and she doesn't want that awkwardness either). I'm getting more hours at work, so more money and less time being bored. She's working on getting some jobs so she doesn't have to ask her parents for money. Basically, we want to be busy as hell, have lunch and dinner together, and when we both have real free time for it to be special and meaningful. All in all, we have really good things going for us both right now.

Ah, and with language, she is following through with the agreement. I say things in a weird way, she fixes it. We are speaking in Chinese more than half the time and chatting exclusively in Chinese. I'm sure we will find something new to fight about at some point, but 真金不怕火炼. We are about to hit 5 months soon. I'm still thinking up good ideas for the 6 month... still going to be hard to top our 2-week though :P
I'm thinking about something good, like getting downtown, going to some obscure places, wandering through the hutongs, finishing up with a night at Peking Opera. Or, possibly a short trip up to Huairou for the weekend and having fun on the lake and cooking her 烤鱼 without any bones (I love this fillet knife so much), and lots of spice (not shitty Beijing spice, but real stuff that I picked up back home without her noticing). Ah, another thing I love about her... she's frugal but knows when to blow a wad. She also appreciates the little things that don't cost much at all, even more than the expensive things meant to impress. I'm going to marry this girl someday :P

[American Oyaji]

I think she knew that before YOU did.

I mean, you DID meet the parents and all that.

[Mulboyne]

Well, after last month, we both know what we are looking forward to. Has little to do with sex, and much to do with building a routine off of each other.

Congratulations. You guys are getting on well and that is always a good thing to hear. Don't forget, though, that it is not just about building a routine off each other, it is how you two relate to the rest of your world. Who are your friends as a couple? If you do have another mini-fight, who can you talk to apart from your girlfriend? Life is great when you are with the one you love but, if you plan to make your life in China, don't rely on your girlfriend to be your entree to the world there. Your girlfriend hinted that she might like some space now and again. It sounds like things are going well between the two of you but listen to that for a moment. If you don't have a life there outside your girl then it will be difficult for you to give her that space.

From your posts here, I've always taken you to be a good linguist. I still think you'll get the language nailed but your last post seemed to indicate that you need to lean on her more than you indicated before. Your girl now knows that she has nothing to worry about when you are with her parents but you also have to show that you can be someone outside your relationship with her otherwise your life could be very narrow.

You are at school. One of the great things about school is meeting people you can be in contact with the rest of your life. Or maybe you decide they aren't your sort in which case you need to go looking for people you do want to be with. It is fantastic that you have met a girl you feel so strongly about but don't end up finishing your course without getting a good look at everything else that can help you make a well-rounded life there

[devicenull]

Friends, got tons. I have my own set of friends here and I am good friends with a lot of her friends who know her really well. Whenever we have a big fight or a mini fight I can always turn to someone for advice. She's not the only thing in my life, but definitely the center and most important thing.

I don't lean on her all the time for language, it happens more when I know the language I need is far above my head... like calling the network office because I can't connect to the school ftp this semester, or the dns is being shitty again and I am telling them it's a western campus only thing... stupid things like this. Happened a lot in Sichuan simply because the dialect was very different to me at first, got much better near the end. The other problem was that we were speaking English too much with each other. Her English is damned good and she knows a lot more than I would have ever thought possible. She really wants us to be on an equal footing language-wise, and I can understand that. Working harder on it now :P

[maraboutslim]

My only advice to young couples.

When one is first in love, he often wishes he could spend more time with his lover and do everything together. Later on, however, one wishes he could spend more time apart to have his own life. I think this is natural and doesn't have anything to do with loving less later on or anything like that.

I've been married 13 years now and many of my friends are envious of the fact that my wife "lets me" surf when I want, play in bands, and enjoy my other hobbies (vintage cars, art, going out drinking with the boys, etc.) and basically let me have a life. They ask how I accomplished this and I tell them that I was just careful to never give her the idea that I was going to give up my hobbies and my space once married! I held on to my own space throughout our courtship and marriage.

It's very hard to go backwards and assert more personal space and freedom later.