finding a good penpal?

[bluepxl]

hi, too many of the penpals i've made in japan are really flaky. they'll mail me once wanting to know a little bit of english-- especially slang. then they disappear when it comes to making a good friendship. also they all too often want to talk about BSB, avril lavigne, harry potter, or something really lame like that.

anybody have any luck finding a good, steady penpal that actually wants to be a good friend and talk about things other than american pop and american teenage slang?

just interested in it cause i love making friends all over and practicing reading/writing my nihongo...

[cstaylor]

Why don't you just find some people on MSN or something... it's pretty easy to get people to chat with you... I have written a snail-mail letter in years...

[Andocrates]

Yea, the best way I have found is Yahoo Japan chat rooms, use a microphone teach some English, learn some Japanese. But, you would be amazed how difficult it is to teach someone a language.

I think good solid study is your best bet. I have native Japanese speakers in my home and I still use text books. They are good to bounce things of or explain casual speech not listed in the textbooks like when you can drop particles, female parts of speech (which I sometimes use and makes them laugh,) like once I said "wasuremono kashira" and they laughed at me for days. I ask them about weird pronuntiation things why is hito pronounced "shhtow" and why hi gets mispronounced a lot. Don't forget hashi is bridge and hashi is chopsticks and the syllable you accent tells a speaker which word you want. All those crappy details that make the language difficult.

I tried e-mail pen-pals but they all try to type on their tiny little cell-phones and they always suck.

[StickyRiceLover]

I'm not an expert but the Japanese people I know will not talk about serious issues with a stranger like they were a good friend.

I had/have to work pretty hard at est. a relationship before I could/can get serious issues out of my Japanese friends and this is in person - not by mail.

Japanese might feel most comfortable talking about these American pop issues.

Good luck Tomodachi,

SRL.

[bluepxl]

i hate to break it to you but i bet they think you are pretty lame too.

well at least i'm trying to make a friend, not just using someone to figure out slang and ask if they like one band. and then split. that must be far more lame... i like to make an actual friend that i talk to often about many different types of things. since when is that lame?

[bluepxl]

well first of all everyone, i like to learn japanese by reading and writing it. but i'm not expecting them to teach me anything. i just want conversation. and i'm not demanding they talk about their family issues or most intimate details, just something more entertaining than the everyday "i like avril". doesn't anyone want to talk about something interesting? starting to seem like all japanese love to talk about these same subjects. just looking for a real good friend who likes to talk about things that affect us, likes to talk maybe about issues concerning japan or america. whatever.

[bluepxl]

[bluepxl]

well you obviously dont speak casual japanese cus your sig is about as boring and american otaku'ish as japanese gets.

oh, and as for kunio-kun (my icon).. sure, it may be dorky, nerdy, otakuish, whatever you want to say. but it is from simply one of the most bad ass video game series ever made: nekketsu high series. japan was lucky enough to have all these games, but fortunately the US got a few of the best, including "river city ransom", one of the greatest nintendo games ever. i remember playing that when i was little... kicking gangster ass with brass knuckles, bats, and texas boots. that game was so good...

but surely you were talking merely about the japanese written there? who could have anything wrong with kunio-kun?!

[bluepxl]

dude, that's what he's called IN the video game series

complete dumbasses.

[bluepxl]

and japanese use "slangs" (well.. they are really slangs, more like lazy japanese) CONSTANTLY, fruitcake. so in effect, you just said japanese arent normal..

no normal people use slang as a basis of primary communication. only dumbasses who don't wish to communicate actual thoughts and feelings. i'm trying to imagine then, what you are saying a "normal conversation" between two americans would be. just a bunch of slang words and grunts? there would come a time in which someone in the party must actually communicate using at least basic nouns and verbs.

by the way you're talking, normal people use primarily slangspeak, not actual language. believe it or not, even though they may sound like they use it a lot, normal people do not use primarily slang. i don't care where they are from. they still use basic grammar. they still use verbs in all sorts of tenses. they still make sentences, they don't just holler around cool sounding words and phrases between grunts. i know you didn't say japanese only use slang, but you say it like they use it so constantly that is what i should focus on. i know and have heard a lot of japanese slang, but i think it is quite more important to learn actual fundamental elements of a language than just slang. otherwise all i will be able to do is say slang and be able to communicate actually deeper or more meaningful thoughts/concepts.

you yourself are making the japanese sound "weird" and like idiots. please. the kids who write me wanting to know slang just like to know what is cool to say in english. they like to know words to use in conversation, like "cool" and "yo" and "word that's friggity fresh" if they so chose to get that colorful with the words. i am just saying it's annoying that is all they want to write me about, after that it's done with.

and i have read enough japanese text to know that they don't use slang CONSTANTLY in written letters and things of that sort. i have seen it a lot in chat rooms, which is quite different.

no normal conversationalists and people who actually want to communicate things use slang as a CONSTANT form of communicaton. there comes a point in which people just talk/write using language a non-slang form. not even gyaru are as bad with slang as you make it sound. i cannot understand most things i have read and heard from gyaru, cause they do honestly use a lot of slang, yes. but for the most part they still communicate like regular people, and aren't that hard to understand. i have never run into a problem yet with not being able to understand a slang word, or easily learn from a friend or from context.

so in effect, you said japanese aren't normal.

oh and, i'll be waiting for Dr. Guest's Japanese Slang Dictionary: The real way to speak Japanese with "normal people". I'm sure it'll be a most valuable learning tool to speak such a non-complex language full of constant slang.

[Andocrates]

Dude he's playing you like a Banjo, relax and take a step back I like you so don't waste your time defending against anon posters, they are not fighting fair because they have nothing at risk.

Right then! Plenty of Japanese in Houston. Isn't it the 5th largest concentration of Japanese in America?

[bluepxl]

i just don't like being told off when all i was asking was for a good source for pen pals. pretty rude,,, but not my fault.

i think houston used to have a large concentration, but with the economy so bad in japan, a lot of japanese companies pulled out of houston years ago. most japanese up and moved back to japan or somewhere else, leaving what i heard is a community smaller than 10,000. that doesn't sound so bad, but consider that up against a metropolis of 4.5 million people, that happens to be an incredibly spread out city, and you'll see why it's hard to find japanese.

and the ones i have met, seems like they have little interest in making friends with some white gaijin dork. understandably so... i guess they think i'm like most they must meet who babble on about anime or kung fu or asian sex or some sort of asian generalization crap so many of them love to talk about. it's weird though, when i go to chinese or vietnamese markets, a lot of the old ladies all want to talk to me and help me. in the japanese markets, they just wonder why i'm there and have no interest in talking to me when i say something to them (in english or whatever). i just was using that as an example as to how it seems like the japanese that i have met here only really want to talk to other japanese, since i guess every white guy they talk to is such a dork... and not like i seem any different, hehe.

[bluepxl]

why don't you come move down to houston? known as the most spread out physically large city in america. with no effecient major subway/transit system! basically the only way to get around is to own a car, which you are required by state law to pay insurance as well. it gets pretty expensive when you're sorta poor like me.

but really, all the japanese are spread apart like crazy. the only major area to find them where they do kind of group together here is about an hour drive in traffic, maybe 30-45 mins during non-peak hours.

but there is no "leaving my house" and finding them. i don't even know my neighbors and i've lived here for two years. this isn't because i don't go outside, because i often like to sit outside and drink tea in the morning and watch the sun or hang out when it's nice weather... and my neighbors are either inside or outside to get in their car. that is way it is with most people in houston!

and a penpal serves its purpose for me different than just someone local. i happen to like seeing japanese handwriting. i happen to like mail. so what, i guess it's dorky? like i give a crap? i don't even know why it matters if they're japanese? anyone is cool.. but as far as the gaijin thing goes, i was not calling myself that from my POV, but from their POV. i am "gaijin" to THEM, as i was putting it.

hehehe... i just don't get why writing penpals makes me sound like i'm a total shut-in! just because i don't have a car and it's hard to get around in houston without one, doesn't mean i don't try. you gotta do what you gotta do!

anyway i'm gonna go write my penpal MJ in florida about this ranch he has... i heard its pretty big and he'd like me to check it out even!

[ramchop]

why don't you come move down to houston? known as the most spread out physically large city in america. with no effecient major subway/transit system! basically the only way to get around is to own a car, which you are required by state law to pay insurance as well. it gets pretty expensive when you're sorta poor like me.

A bundle of excuses, none of them very good. You don't need efficient public transport to get around, inefficient systems will still get you there.

I do hope that you're just a naturally enthusiastic person, and that you show such keen interests in other topics other than Japan. You do tend to come across as a tad obsessed with the subject at times. No obsession is a good thing.

[bluepxl]

obsessions aren't a bad thing if you control them. in fact can be a great thing. and if you think it is a bundle of excuses, please why don't you as well come move to houston? seriously, i walk to work and it takes almost 15 minutes-- and it's not even "far" in terms of houston, but it certainly is not a block away. it's a very spread out city. either own a car or take the bus that runs inner city. living in suburbs is the worst... anyone who has moved here quickly discovers why houston is a very car oriented city. if you don't have a car, you're pretty much out of luck. and bumming rides isn't exactly the kindnest thing to do all the time.

how then is it an excuse? if i had the money for a car, i surely would drive all over and meet all sorts of people, no doubt. i hate hanging around here... so boring. this is what i crave about japan, ya know?

i show an unhealthy interest in too many things, actually. i almost find myself with a new interest every week, which i find unhealthy, because i never get a chance to focus on enough of one thing. and japan is not the only country i'm interested in, particularly in asia, as i love korea and would love to visit and live there someday. i also love brasil. i love the whole world, man.

just why is everyone so rude and judgemental, when they don't know me and my circumstances? guh, thanks for the help

[ramchop]

obsessions aren't a bad thing if you control them. in fact can be a great thing. and if you think it is a bundle of excuses, please why don't you as well come move to houston? seriously, i walk to work and it takes almost 15 minutes-- and it's not even "far" in terms of houston, but it certainly is not a block away.

All obsessions are bad things.

Can't remember the title of the thread.. "Japan sucks" maybe?, but it's a similar attitude. Grass is greener nonsense. If you're unhappy with your lot in life (and I'm not suggesting that you are) a change in perspective/attitude is what's required, not a change in location. I had a series of short term contracts in a city which I despised the first few times, I now wish to live there permanently (after making shitloads of cash in Japan )

I didn't quite understand the 15 minutes walk statement. That's a hardship?

how then is it an excuse? if i had the money for a car, i surely would drive all over and meet all sorts of people, no doubt. i hate hanging around here... so boring. this is what i crave about japan, ya know?

No I don't know. This is why obsession is a bad thing. You're likely to be devastatingly disappointed. I hope not for your sake.

just why is everyone so rude and judgemental, when they don't know me and my circumstances? guh, thanks for the help

coz we're all uncaring bastards.

[bluepxl]

get some interests other than japan and things related.

read.

[bluepxl]

All obsessions are bad things.

sounds more like an opinion to me. one that cannot be proven.

i haven't even gone to japan and i've been devistatingly disappointed long ago. it actually to do with a lot of the people i have talked to from there, particularly americans. almost always total assholes. i feel totally unwelcome by not even the japanese but what i would think i can consider my own, americans.

and i realize that i needn't prove to you how many interests in so many other things i have. i am not trying to brag or prove any sort of point when i say that i speak more languages, play more instruments, record more music, design more art, take more photos, paint more paintings, than most people out there do all those things collectively. i have tons of little obsessions. however, i would not consider japan an obsession in that, i don't like a lot of things about japan. i love the language, but don't like the food. one who is obsessed will be like "oh japan, i love everything!". anything with the word japan in it, or any form of anime/manga or any of that will excite them till they pass out. i frankly couldn't give a crap about that stuff, whether it has the label japan on it or not. pretty lame stuff if you ask me. and people who like anything just based on the fact that it is japanese-- japanese food, music, films, regardless of the fact that it is total crap-- those people totally suck. but what are they? obsessed. in this such case, i would say it's a bad thing. but i would say there are good obsessions, you just have to think about that. and i would say that technically the only thing i love about japan is the japanese language, as well as the tons of lights and convenience of trains. but doesn't mean i want japanese friends only to speak the language. i just like having friends from all sorts of backgrounds. but things like the size of apartments? sounds disappointing. but not devastaingly enough for me to say i hate it. who cares? where you live is where you live, and you gotta be happy with it. i like where i live, but i would like to move on somewhere i don't have to own a car and i can get a job in a field that i have interest in which is hard here. but it's always my hometown.



but screw this... i'm moving to iceland.

[bluepxl]

Yea, it looked pretty nice in Super Dodge-Ball for NES.

hell yes.

[GomiGirl]

i hate hanging around here... so boring.

It sounds like you need to travel.. leave the places that are familiar and explore a bit, meet different people in their own countries rather than try to bring them into your world. It makes you appreciate the things that you have at home alot more.

[bluepxl]

It sounds like you need to travel.. leave the places that are familiar and explore a bit, meet different people in their own countries rather than try to bring them into your world. It makes you appreciate the things that you have at home alot more.

totally! i know what you mean. i love to travel indeed... and from the places i've travelled in america, i have found things i love and hate in those places and here at home. i'll always love home for what it is, though.

but thanks for being kind and understanding gomi! i know i can always count on the women around here...