a sharp poke in the eye

[Taro Toporific]

Kitty_Sword_Umbrella_130x26.jpg

Woman sought in Japan after umbrella poke
Reuters, Wednesday, 23 August, 2006 --- A dissatisfied customer stabbed a Tokyo department store employee in the eye with an umbrella after trying out oxygen breathing equipment meant to revitalise the body....The woman, thought to be in her late 20s, complained to the 55-year-old assistant that the oxygen product had made her feel unwell....more....

[Taro Toporific]

Ahhh, the constant danger of Japan's rainy season...

Man in coma after being hit in eye by umbrella in fight with colleague
JAPAN TODAY -- June 28, 2015
A 55-year-old man was in a coma on Saturday after he was hit in the eye by an umbrella during an argument with a work colleague in front of Tokyo station...the incident occurred at around 11:45 p.m. Friday. Fuji TV reported that the man was arguing with his 54-year-old colleague, Yasushi Fukunishi, a systems engineer...more...

umbrella_katana_sword_hidden_blade.jpg

[Mike Oxlong]

An FG acquaintance down here used an umbrella in an altercation with a local that looked about to go physical to give a warning tap to the chest with the pointy end. Ten patrol cars, several long interrogations at the nearest sub-station, a fortunate medical check of the "victim" showing no bruising, and a lot of help from his mother-in-law and wife with the necessary grovelling, he was released without charges, though the umbrella was kept in evidence for some time before he could claim it.

The guy has been perpetually culture-shocked for the past five or six years, and even now has trouble saying 名前は？

[Coligny]

Don't fuck with sysadmins n*ggerz...

image.jpg

[legion]

Well it certainly wasn't Steed

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/11699769/Patrick-Macnee-actor-obituary.html

[Coligny]

Well it certainly wasn't Steed

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/11699769/Patrick-Macnee-actor-obituary.html

Well, that was tactfull...

Fuck you man...
James Horner on monday, now PMacnee... Not the best week...

[wagyl]

Well it certainly wasn't Steed

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/11699769/Patrick-Macnee-actor-obituary.html

Well, that was tactfull...

Fuck you man...
James Horner on monday, now PMacnee... Not the best week...

Any red blooded male would welcome the increased chance of access to Diana Rigg.

[Russell]

Well it certainly wasn't Steed

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/11699769/Patrick-Macnee-actor-obituary.html

Well, that was tactfull...

Fuck you man...
James Horner on monday, now PMacnee... Not the best week...

Any red blooded male would welcome the increased chance of access to Diana Rigg.

[Coligny]

Well it certainly wasn't Steed

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/11699769/Patrick-Macnee-actor-obituary.html

Well, that was tactfull...

Fuck you man...
James Horner on monday, now PMacnee... Not the best week...

Any red blooded male would welcome the increased chance of access to Diana Rigg.

Still hotter than your mom !

[Russell]

Well it certainly wasn't Steed

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/11699769/Patrick-Macnee-actor-obituary.html

Well, that was tactfull...

Fuck you man...
James Horner on monday, now PMacnee... Not the best week...

Any red blooded male would welcome the increased chance of access to Diana Rigg.

Still hotter than your mom !

That's for sure.

Because my mom has been dead for almost two decades...

[matsuki]

An FG acquaintance down here used an umbrella in an altercation with a local that looked about to go physical to give a warning tap to the chest with the pointy end. Ten patrol cars, several long interrogations at the nearest sub-station, a fortunate medical check of the "victim" showing no bruising, and a lot of help from his mother-in-law and wife with the necessary grovelling, he was released without charges, though the umbrella was kept in evidence for some time before he could claim it.

The guy has been perpetually culture-shocked for the past five or six years, and even now has trouble saying 名前は？

He forgot the most important part of altercations in Japan....GTFO before the real trouble shows up.

[Mike Oxlong]

It's funny. He calls himself a translator, as his job is correcting the Engrish copy the office he works in puts out. His girlfriend got him the job after he was let go from two ALT jobs and had a subsequent eikaiwa meltdown and quit in a huff. Remarkably able to hang on after all that. Guess it'll be kind of interesting to see what happens when his spousal visa expires this fall. Estranged wife help with a new one? Company sponsor him (it's only been a week, so not sure how long he'll actually last there)? Run back to the West Coast?

[matsuki]

...or be tossed back?

What was the altercation about?

[Mike Oxlong]

...or be tossed back?

What was the altercation about?

He said the guy was looking at him funny. The standard local eyeball-fucking. So the American dude went off on him. Guy got right back in his face. Buddy just can't handle that, or anything else around here. And he has zero language skills to handle good or difficult situations. I've seen some crazy cases of people flaming out, having extreme culture shock, and some crazy cultural misunderstandings, but this guy takes the cake. As a mutual Aussie friend said to him, "You're a world-class whinger, mate."

[Samurai_Jerk]

...or be tossed back?

What was the altercation about?

He said the guy was looking at him funny. The standard local eyeball-fucking. So the American dude went off on him. Guy got right back in his face. Buddy just can't handle that, or anything else around here. And he has zero language skills to handle good or difficult situations. I've seen some crazy cases of people flaming out, having extreme culture shock, and some crazy cultural misunderstandings, but this guy takes the cake. As a mutual Aussie friend said to him, "You're a world-class whinger, mate."

I've knows some paranoid types like that. Since they can't understand a word anyone is saying they assume everyone is talking about them. My guess is back home they have the same paranoia even though they can understand what people are saying.

[Mike Oxlong]

...or be tossed back?

What was the altercation about?

He said the guy was looking at him funny. The standard local eyeball-fucking. So the American dude went off on him. Guy got right back in his face. Buddy just can't handle that, or anything else around here. And he has zero language skills to handle good or difficult situations. I've seen some crazy cases of people flaming out, having extreme culture shock, and some crazy cultural misunderstandings, but this guy takes the cake. As a mutual Aussie friend said to him, "You're a world-class whinger, mate."

I've knows some paranoid types like that. Since they can't understand a word anyone is saying they assume everyone is talking about them. My guess is back home they have the same paranoia even though they can understand what people are saying.

Somewhere he's learned to scream, "何みとんじゃこのぼけ？" at people who stare (real or imagined). It's the only sentence I've ever heard him utter in the devil's tongue (and not sure as to it's correctness, as I am nay very familiar with the Kansai-ben - I have come across variants online, but nothing matching that). Of course, he can't get himself out of the trouble that causes, nor could he have a friendly conversation, even if he wanted to.

The rare times I've seen him strike up a conversation with a local, it always goes, "なめは？　なめは？ Why don't they understand simple Japanese? Are they fucking with me?!" The voice rising and becoming ever more shrill.

[Samurai_Jerk]

In Tokyo it's ....

watchoolookinat.gif

[Mike Oxlong]

I'm more familiar with 何こっちみとんじゃぼけ but YMMV.

[matsuki]

Sounds extreme enough to get some prescription Oxy for the pain...

I might be too observant or just paranoid....but it's ultimately more fun to go introduce yourself to the jiji at the bar who's giving you the stink eye. More than often, it's just a lack of social skills/manners and an interest in what a FG like you is doing here. Of course you will probably have to smile and nod to some "Isn't Japan a great place" ego massaging...but if you can't ignore stares, it sure beats an altercation.

[Mike Oxlong]

He'd have to leave the relatively safe haven of the few FG bars around home (no car, bike, or even ability to work out the schedule and routes or ask about the buses, can't communicate with taxi drivers), regular visits to a base with a retired military friend, and hiding at home in fear of any local interaction...

Even this new office job is done from home. His gf sends the documents to him to work on. If he was in the office he wouldn't nor couldn't interact with anybody but his gf. That'd work out great.

[kurogane]

It's funny. He calls himself a translator................

No, Mike, it's not funny................it's not funny at all............ He sounds like a real piece of joy.