BUDDHISM BLOWS!

[Taro Toporific]

Just add your picture to the frame.
[floatl][/floatl]

Actually BUDDHISM SUCKS butt so does Christianity, Islam, Judaism and All-the-other-isms when it comes to death and funerals.

I may sound like I've gone barking bonkers. Don't worry it's just that I became the default masters-of-ceremonies for all sorts of Japanese funeral fun for the past fricking week for my mother-in-law. Generally speaking, I'm not big on funerals and I sure ain't excited about endless mumbling that costs 1,300,000 yen for seven never-ending days of peculiar rites. That's ri-i-ight, it takes them all week to get rid of a body in Japan, and then in 40 some days they do it all over again. Urrrrg!

That reminds how wonderful a bargain it is for a quick ride in the back of a pickup and $7.50 fee for "large animal disposal" is at the county landfill. OH BURY ME, ON THE LONE PRAIRE...Where the wild coyotes will howl o'er me, and crows pick at my eyes.

Well, I could go on whining for days.... but at least my mother-in-law has cases of beer on her funerary altar. Kampai okasan!

[GuyJean]

..Don't worry it's just that I became the default masters-of-ceremonies for all sorts of Japanese funeral fun for the past fricking week for my mother-in-law..

:( Oh, bummer.. Sorry to hear that Taro. Give my best to Mrs. T..

Buddhism drags it out though, doesn't it.. I think it's like three years before you're allowed do feel normal again..

GJ

[Taro Toporific]

Buddhism drags it out though, doesn't it.. I think it's like three years before you're allowed do feel normal again..

On the drive out the Matsuyama airport for my flight back to Tokyo, they just had to take okasan in her urn for the ride.

[CrankyBastard]

Condolences TT.
But at least you won't have to send out any nengajo this year.

[sillygirl]

Yes, meant to say, condolences etc.

Hope your face recovers soon!

[Taro Toporific]

Hope your face recovers soon!

I think my skin color came from sleeping in a solid smog layer of incense for a week.

[Mike Oxlong]

You'd think that for an offering to the dearly departed and newly deceased one could buy real beer instead of that happoshu crap! Nodogoshi?!?:puke:

[GomiGirl]

My sympathies to you and Mrs T!!

Was this expected?

[Charles]

Depending you the buddhist sect, you might be in for a long haul, Taro. Do they have further services scheduled for 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, and Obon?

[Greji]

Depending you the buddhist sect, you might be in for a long haul, Taro. Do they have further services scheduled for 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, and Obon?

Taro, taihen deshou! Goshusousama.

Most sects recognize a service on 49 days (shijuukunichi) the day the soul departs that nevernever land located somewhere between the roof and the ceiling of the house, requiring you to place the "bones" of the dearly departed into the ohaka; and the "one year" (ishuki) is simply that, the one year anniversity where everyone gathers at your house. Naturally, the deceased will only then drop by during obon each year. Both of the previous are the major musts for services following the date of demise. But as Charles correctly points out, some sects have different dates that they recognise for services which are held either in the home, or at graveside. Either of which can require a special ceremony. I have to say in all honesty that I have always felt that these, like other religions, are simply a way of picking up some extra spending money at the expense of the bereaved family. You always have to provide the obosan with the best gochisou plus an extremely fat envelope showing your appreciation. In the some 30 years or so since my father-in-law's passing, we have successfully retired thr obosans and I would estimate about five sushiya owners and sakaiyas.

Again, condolences.

[Charles]

..But as Charles correctly points out, some sects have different dates that they recognise for services which are held either in the home, or at graveside. Either of which can require a special ceremony...

Well, it could always be worse, you could be in my buddhist sect, we're supposed to take a moment twice every day during our little rituals to pray for our deceased ancestors. It's no wonder I slacked off in my duties for a long time. But a few months ago, I noted it was coming near to the 1 year anniversary of my mother's death, so I decided to sit down at my altar and pray. A few minutes later, I was looking through an old family photo album, and I noticed something sticking out from behind a picture of me. I pulled it out, and it was a note from my mom, written to me, years before she died. She must have known I'd find it only after she died. I cried and cried.

My buddhist sect is rather radical and doesn't believe that after you're dead, if you have good karma you will fly off to nirvana. We believe we're already born into nirvana, and that enlightenment is merely the degree to which we are aware of that and act accordingly. We believe there is no difference between being alive or dead, except for one thing: when you're alive you can do things in the physical universe, after death, you cannot. It's all about cause and effect. While alive, you can "make causes" that have effects, after death, you cannot, the only effects come from causes you made while you were still alive. That little note from my mom reminded me of that quite vividly.

So as I view it, buddhist funerary rites are to remind us that the effects of our ancestors still live on. Our ancestors may be gone, but the moments of "eternal now" that they lived are indestructible.

Taro, I would wish you condolences in the proper ritualized language but I'd just have to go look it up in a book. So I will express not my condolences, but my hope that your mother-in-law's existence contributed positively to your life in ways that you have yet to discover. And how could it be otherwise?

[Taro Toporific]

My sympathies to you and Mrs T!!

Was this expected?

If ever there was a "good death" this was one. My mother-in-law had ALS ([url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amyotrophic_lateral_sclerosis]Lou Gehrig’]) and was given two years to live. She slipped off in her sleep without a whimper one and a half years into that death sentence and gracefully avoided the last six or more months agonies of feeding tubes and respirators.

Now I've got the 49 day (shijuukunichi) mumbling fest to attend---I think this is my mother-in-law's plot to improve my formal Japanese speaking ability by chatting comparitive religion the local obosan while handing over fat envelopes.

[dimwit]

The ad infinitium memorial services can be a serious pain in the ass, God only knows how many times I was forced to trudge out to the gomi mansion in Ikeda listen to randon chanting and be served bad lunch.

But hey next time your out here it'll give me a chance to introduce you to some of the differently moralled members of the local community.

[6810]

I wouldn't blame Buddhism itself. Indeed, the very core of Buddhism is the absence of "ritual", no matter how many money hungry "priests" tell you otherwise.

As a long time Buddhist of around 15 years (not born that way) of no sect in particular, and with no interest in the celebrity chic version, my understanding of Buddhism, at it's most austere level is that ritual and habit, without awareness, without conscious investigation are not only problematic, but irreligious.

The thing that happened with Buddhism, is that, especially in the east Asian context is that it was enveloped by state/empire/kingdom mechanisms and rendered into another set of strictures for controlling mass populations.

So why say all this? Contemporary Japanese Buddhism is about as far from "Buddhism" as any contemporary articulation of religion in which money grubbing and intimidation are privileged over self liberation, freedom without compulsion and happiness.

[kurohinge1]

Sadly, that earlier thread "What are you supposed to say?" is starting to pay dividends:

[SIZE="3"]O ki no doku ni, Taro-san.[/SIZE]

[Mike Oxlong]

I wouldn't blame Buddhism itself. Indeed, the very core of Buddhism is the absence of "ritual", no matter how many money hungry "priests" tell you otherwise.

As a long time Buddhist of around 15 years (not born that way) of no sect in particular, and with no interest in the celebrity chic version, my understanding of Buddhism, at it's most austere level is that ritual and habit, without awareness, without conscious investigation are not only problematic, but irreligious.

The thing that happened with Buddhism, is that, especially in the east Asian context is that it was enveloped by state/empire/kingdom mechanisms and rendered into another set of strictures for controlling mass populations.

So why say all this? Contemporary Japanese Buddhism is about as far from "Buddhism" as any contemporary articulation of religion in which money grubbing and intimidation are privileged over self liberation, freedom without compulsion and happiness.

That is a good summary of the essence of Buddhism, from what I gathered investigating Zen, and trying meditation such as Vipassana.

Condolences to Taro & his family.

[American Oyaji]

Taro-san,
My condolences to you and your wife.

[nullpointer]

Taro-sama,

Sincere condolences to you and your wife. I hope foreknowledge lessens the grief somewhat.

[cstaylor]

Sounds like its been a rough year in the Taro household.

[Taro Toporific]