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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto

How do Japanese people take surprises?

Groovin' in the Gaijin Gulag
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19 posts • Page 1 of 1

How do Japanese people take surprises?

Postby vaultdweller25 » Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:48 am

I am in two minds about surprising some old friends of mine who don't even know I am in Japan yet. Classy me just plans to turn up at their door step. I know they will be happy to see me, but will the surprise be a welcome thing? (or will I be considered one rude dude)

Everybody is different, but if someone could tell me how surprise's are taken on average twould be wonderful.

Cheers
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Postby amdg » Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:56 am

Image

Don't forget that it's obon right now. A lot of people have private family business to attend to at home. I would call them first.
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Postby kamome » Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:06 am

It's a bad idea to surprise them like that. Even if they are good friends, you don't know what kind of inconvenience or embarrassment you could cause them by showing up unannounced.
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Postby IkemenTommy » Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:41 am

amdg wrote:Image

Don't forget that it's obon right now. A lot of people have private family business to attend to at home. I would call them first.

Oh my god.. that just reminded me of the funniest shit at work the other week. This one Japanese ossan called power supplies the "power surprise" and that was the joke of the week. :ninja4:
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Postby Samurai_Jerk » Wed Aug 15, 2007 10:31 pm

I'd be fucking annoyed with you if you did that shit unless you were seriously one of my best friends.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so. -- Mark Twain
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Postby vaultdweller25 » Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:36 pm

well I lived with them for 10 months. Could even say we are like family that just haven't spoken for a while.

But anyways does anyone know surprise's are taken in Japan?
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Postby American Oyaji » Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:40 pm

vaultdweller25 wrote:well I lived with them for 10 months. Could even say we are like family that just haven't spoken for a while.

But anyways does anyone know surprise's are taken in Japan?


Not very well at all.

Some surprises are considered rude.
I will not abide ignorant intolerance just for the sake of getting along.
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Postby hundefar » Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:41 pm

vaultdweller25 wrote:well I lived with them for 10 months. Could even say we are like family that just haven't spoken for a while.

But anyways does anyone know surprise's are taken in Japan?


I wouldn't do it. It would be quite rude to put people in a spot like that. As you know many Japanese people don't like to be rude, so in my experience it is best not to put them up in a situation where you leave them no choice. Of course your friends might be different, I don't know them. But from my personal experience I would say that it is a bad idea.
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Postby Charles » Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:54 am

hundefar wrote:I wouldn't do it. It would be quite rude to put people in a spot like that. As you know many Japanese people don't like to be rude, so in my experience it is best not to put them up in a situation where you leave them no choice. Of course your friends might be different, I don't know them. But from my personal experience I would say that it is a bad idea.

I would agree, don't surprise them, especially at their home. There are weird cultural issues about guests in your home, a surprise visitor would probably be tolerated but unwelcome.

If you want to surprise them in a nice way, contact them in advance, then buy a nice traditional gift before you visit. Go to some high class department store food court and buy some seasonal food gift, nicely boxed and gift wrapped. You don't have to spend a lot, but make sure it's nicely packaged. When you offer it to them, say "tsumaranai mono desu ga, douzo." Let them take it and don't expect them to open it up right away, it is traditional to open the package after the guest has left. I've never failed to make a good impression with this approach.
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Postby baka tono » Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:39 am

I think the heat has gotten to you?! This is the country of consensus building and plan making before any action is taken. Even the damn bosozoku used to drive by my "apartment" at the same time every night. Id hear them and just know it was 23:30, look at the clock yup right on time.
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Postby Samurai_Jerk » Thu Aug 16, 2007 6:58 am

Charles wrote:If you want to surprise them in a nice way, contact them in advance, then buy a nice traditional gift before you visit. Go to some high class department store food court and buy some seasonal food gift, nicely boxed and gift wrapped. You don't have to spend a lot, but make sure it's nicely packaged. When you offer it to them, say "tsumaranai mono desu ga, douzo." Let them take it and don't expect them to open it up right away, it is traditional to open the package after the guest has left.


Wow, did you just read the omiyage section of your Lonely Planet Japan guide?
Faith is believing what you know ain't so. -- Mark Twain
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Postby Charles » Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:11 am

Samurai_Jerk wrote:Wow, did you just read the omiyage section of your Lonely Planet Japan guide?

Actually, we were taught this in Japanese language class. You know, some of us actually went to universities and learned the culture and language from PhD native speakers.

The point being, these are hackneyed old cultural trivialities, but they still work, especially for gaijin who are not expected to know them. It has always worked for me. It may not apply in all situations, but most nihonjin don't entertain guests at home, they'd rather meet at some izakaya or other place outside the home, so surprise guests are a bad idea. In this case, the guy seems to have been a long-term houseguest so the barriers may be down. But why risk possible offense with a surprise visit, when you can surprise them equally well by observing a little etiquette?
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Postby Big Booger » Thu Aug 16, 2007 9:20 am

If you do go through with the surprise make sure to give this a go to sort of spice it up:

[yt]FyNhEgIvBsI[/yt]

That should prove to be quite a surprise for your friends.
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Postby Samurai_Jerk » Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:39 am

Charles wrote:You know, some of us actually went to universities and learned the culture and language from PhD native speakers.


Yeah, asshole, I'm one of them.

The point being, your advice was so fucking useless to your average FG that I'm surprised that even you, master of hot air, would bother to post it as if you were imparting some kind of deep insight into Japanese culture.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so. -- Mark Twain
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Postby Charles » Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:58 pm

Samurai_Jerk wrote:Yeah, asshole, I'm one of them.

The point being, your advice was so fucking useless to your average FG that I'm surprised that even you, master of hot air, would bother to post it as if you were imparting some kind of deep insight into Japanese culture.

Hey, if he has to ASK if it's OK to make a surprise visit at someone's home, he needs all the newbie help he can get. My remarks were written in that context. So don't get all huffy on me if it was below your level, it wasn't written for you.
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Postby amdg » Thu Aug 16, 2007 2:10 pm

Mr Kobayashi: First, I experienced a sort of overpowering feeling whenever I was in the room with foreigners, not to mention a powerful body odor coming from them. I don't know whether it was a sweat from the heat or a cold sweat, but I remember I was sweating whenever they were around.
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Postby oyajikun » Thu Aug 16, 2007 2:44 pm

[quote="amdg"]In any case, I think the verdict is unanimous.

So while Japanese may like surprises (Pearl Harbor, the 'surprise sex' of Nanking, and bikkuri donkey), it’]

No matter how much you hate him, don't ever surprise a friend by showing up at his door,

I had a friend from the US show up at my door a few years back when i was living in Fussa. Too make a long story short, I was stoked to see him, and my girlfriend was not. Two weeks later and I'm single, and on probation at work for calling in too many days.
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Postby vaultdweller25 » Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:51 am

Hey thanks for the advice.

Has made the decision pretty clear to me. Will be contacting them shortly with my plans I think.

Cheers all
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Postby Adhesive » Fri Aug 17, 2007 4:16 am

"I would make all my subordinates Americans and start a hamburger joint with great atmosphere. "
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