Shizuo,
I hope you're safe and happy back on the sacred soil of Japan while I stew in this putrid hellhole jungle. I know you cheated the draft by claiming to be disabled, but I stayed quiet out of our friendship. However, I found out from a recent recruit that just arrived from our neighborhood to the battalion that you've been doing my wife nearly every night since I've been away. If you know what's good for you, you'll do the honorable thing and kill yourself before I manage to get back to Japan. If you don't you'll wish you had once I get my hands on you.
Long live the Emperor,
Nobu