Last Friday morning I was busy preparing for my trip to Tokyo and out of the blue I get a call for the police to inform me that they have found my bicycle. This was weird because I have for the last few years have owned two bicycles, which althought they have on occasion been stolen they are presently in my possession. My immediate fear was that they had fished some old bike frame out of the sewer and it had my ID number and wanted me to claim it so I would have to pay to dispose of it. Fear number two was that they had found some old piece of crap that I had abandoned because it didn't work and wasn't worth repairing. So when they told me that I had reported the bicycle stolen in 2000, it seemed to confirm my worst fears. So I told them I was off to Tokyo and that I would be able to claim the bike until Tuesday afternoon.
Getting to the Koban where the bicycle was supposed to be was a bit of a pain since if it were an actual working bike I would have to take two bikes back to my apartment which is a few kilometers away. So I decided to ditch my working bike at the nearby supermarket and walk the short distance to the Koban.
At the Koban, the polie asked for some ID and took me around to the side and showed me the bike. It was a woman's bike with baby seats on the front and back and didn't look anything like any bike I have ever possessed. I pointed out the fact that the bike was obviously not mine. Sucking his teeth the officier went into the backroom and pulled out a report and showed it to me.
The name of the person who reported the stolen bike was either Vietnamese or Cambodian, I would guess. It would have taken so daring mental gymnastics to come up with a name that vaguely resembled mine. But hammer those circles into the square pegs they did.
So after closely examining my gaijin card and looking at the name on the report they somehow concluded they were not the same and apologized for wasting my time.
This should have been the end of the story except I got called up again on Friday asking me why I hadn't claimed my bicycle. When I explained what happened it didn't seem to click and it took another twenty minutes for Mr. Cognitive Disorder to understand that the bicycle wasn't mine and belonged to some Chinese person (I didn't say Cambodian because that would likely confuse him).
My guess is that in the next few days I will be arrested for possesion of a bicycle I have never owned or claimed.