"My Darling F'd Gaijin" -- a how-to book

[amdg]

I had the opportunity to ask my wife where they were. If I had needed to dig through the closet for them on my own you may have never heard from me again.

Thanks for putting them up ttjereth. Actually it's not as bad as I thought it would be (the title still bugs me though - although I can see why they chose it, of course). Some of the things I didn't get, so I'll have to ask the wife when she gets home.

Not sure how long you"ll be able to keep them up there though. Depends on how 'vigilant' they are. So if anyone wants to read them at their leisure, R-click, save as.

[DrP]

So -- I'm curious... How did the spitting image of Chuck Norris get on all these pages??? Maybe the Japanese KA=RA=TE (spoken like Cartman) overcomes the Japanese OL sensibility and of course the foreign GUNG FU every day???

I'm wierded out by the title , too -- as it basically implies that the person you've shared intimate body fluids (and more) with is a 'foreign object' ... Hmmmm, so does that mean she refers to the daikon inserted into her manko as 'my darling' ??? I can only imagine that she's taking a Kinokuniya daikon and painting a small picture of Chuck Norris on the top -- then she firmly inserts it into her manko -- at which time she is furiously pleasuring herself to re-runs of Texas Ranger....

Meanwhile - back at the ranch - Lazlo and Debito are arguing over which sento to infiltrate --- together...

[ttjereth]

Thanks for putting them up ttjereth. Actually it's not as bad as I thought it would be (the title still bugs me though - although I can see why they chose it, of course). Some of the things I didn't get, so I'll have to ask the wife when she gets home.

Not sure how long you"ll be able to keep them up there though. Depends on how 'vigilant' they are. So if anyone wants to read them at their leisure, R-click, save as.

No sweat. I wanted to post more, but then I remembered how tedious scanning is

They will stay up unless I a. accidentally crash the site and don't have current backups (again) or b. I end up pulling the site down because I may end up switching it over to new software.

Shouldn't be a problem with it being forceably taken down though.

But by all means, everyone should save copies if they like. There isn't any right click protection or anything on there, they should be saveable just like any old image.

[ttjereth]

I'm wierded out by the title , too -- as it basically implies that the person you've shared intimate body fluids (and more) with is a 'foreign object' ...

How does it imply that?

[amdg]

外国人
Which means she fails at making distinctions between people that you and I can do. These distinctions are useful - American/French/Indian/Argentinian
But she fails at it.

The book is about them as a couple? No. The title is all from her perspective. That's a petty complaint, of course, because the book can be about anything she wants it to be about. But just don't confuse it with a book about "international marriage" whatever that is.

[ttjereth]

&#22806]fails[/U] at making distinctions between people that you and I can do. These distinctions are useful - American/French/Indian/Argentinian
But she fails at it.

The book is about them as a couple? No. The title is all from her perspective. That's a petty complaint, of course, because the book can be about anything she wants it to be about. But just don't confuse it with a book about "international marriage" whatever that is.

Actually, in this case gaikokujin was probably the only way to avoid having 40 extra characters of katakana on the book cover since Lazlo doesn't generally readily identify himself as an "American". He always refers to himself as “Hungarian father and and Italian mother, raised in the US”.

Have you read the book?

[amdg]

Actually, in this case gaikokujin was probably the only way to avoid having 40 extra characters of katakana on the book cover since Lazlo doesn't generally readily identify himself as an "American". He always refers to himself as [url=http://books.rakuten.co.jp/RBOOKS/pickup/interview/tony_l/]&#8220].

Have you read the book?

I already know all that. It's fucking pretentious of him, if you ask me.

I haven't read the book. I read a promotional extract when it first came out and I read the pages you posted. I know they made a nice bit of bank from this book and good on them for doing so. But there's no way I'm ever going to buy it.

[ttjereth]

I already know all that. It's fucking pretentious of him, if you ask me.

I haven't read the book. I read a promotional extract when it first came out and I read the pages you posted. I know they made a nice bit of bank from this book and good on them for doing so. But there's no way I'm going to ever buy it.

He comes off as pretentious overall, and I tend to lay the stereotypes and such presented as much on him as his wife.

As for money, I'm sure they've made a ton, since there are at least 6 books now, and it's spawned a ton of copycats, such as the one linked above and:


[url=http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/product/4809405192?ie=UTF8&tag=fgaijin-22&linkCode=as2&camp=247&creative=1211&creativeASIN=4809405192]&#12480]

Still overall, fairly harmless in my opinion and I don't find anything particularly enrages or insults me about it.

Even the bit you mentioned above about the juxtaposed pasta and rice doesn't bother me much, because it has actually always struck me as pretty common in Japanese/Westerner marriages where the non-Japanese half overly empathizes with Japan, eating natto every morning, quizzing their Japanese spouse on obscure kanji and such, and the Japanese spouse tends to be in love with all things foreign.

Overall I found it to be a fairly funny look at marriage between a Japanese and a Westerner, and there were things that my wife and I could look at and laugh about in a "oh haha, we do that too" type of way.

I personally tend to find the bits on TV where random owarai jackass puts on a blonde wig and a prosthetic nose, then talks in horribly mangled Japanese to be way more insulting than anything in these books.

[Catoneinutica]

"This book is - how you say it? - 'you suck'."

- Review of My Darling Gaijin by a French guy I know.

-catone
-I'll admit it: I would like to be named "Tony Lazlo".

[Mulboyne]

I met Tony Laszlo once at a party many years ago and he was a friendly, interesting bloke. We made vague promises to stay in touch but never did. I really don't recall him having a beard but that might just be my poor memory or else the beard appeared later. I had to laugh, though when Debito was worried that his disagreements with Tony

...would just be construed as a personal squabble. Seen as a petty dispute between two alpha males who just can’t get along, or who are somehow jousting for the pole position of “Mr Kokusaika” etc. Or, as time went on and the DAARIN WA GAIKOKUJIN turned him into a media superstar, seen as sour grapes for him getting rich and famous on his wife’s talents.

[Catoneinutica]

"...a petty dispute between two alpha males..."



Great find!

-catone
-omega male
-it's easier that way

[ttjereth]

I met Tony Laszlo once at a party many years ago and he was a friendly, interesting bloke. We made vague promises to stay in touch but never did. I really don't recall him having a beard but that might just be my poor memory or else the beard appeared later. I had to laugh, though when Debito was worried that his disagreements with Tony

Just for the record, whereas I think he comes off as pretentious, that doesn't necessarily preclude him from being a nice guy. He doesn't strike me as a complete asshole or anything, just a bit full of himself at times.

And Debito, being petty!? No!

[omae mona]

I met Tony Laszlo once at a party many years ago and he was a friendly, interesting bloke. We made vague promises to stay in touch but never did. I really don't recall him having a beard but that might just be my poor memory or else the beard appeared later.

Ditto, except in my case he did have a beard (a few months ago). Seemed like a very quiet, introverted guy, and he was extremely friendly.

[Adhesive]

Well, I got through the samples you posted. I thought the achi muitte hoi bit was genuinely funny. The other parts made gaijin look rather silly, in my opinion. It took me all of a week to get over my hang-up with slurping while eating, and I definitely wouldn't be telling people how it's rude in my culture. Also, the manga bit was equally off-putting...I mean what kind of person would sit there and insult another person's profession right in front of their face? And Tony didn't do much in her defense. I understand its a comic, but jeesh.

[ttjereth]

Well, I got through the samples you posted. I thought the achi muitte hoi bit was genuinely funny. The other parts made gaijin look rather silly, in my opinion. It took me all of a week to get over my hang-up with slurping while eating, and I definitely wouldn't be telling people how it's rude in my culture. Also, the manga bit was equally off-putting...I mean what kind of person would sit there and insult another person's profession right in front of their face? And Tony didn't do much in her defense. I understand its a comic, but jeesh.

Like I said, I tried to pick out the bits that would probably be the most likely to irritate/anger people. That's really about the worst the book has to offer.

I mentioned above, but a lot of the things that are really stereotypical/irritating stem from Lazlo more than wife, e.g. the slurping bit, and his friend's attitude toward manga and Japanese women, which didn't bother me, because I've run into plenty of gaijin here who think they are an authority on everything and have the whole Japanese culture/psychology figured out after a handful of years here and despite the fact their Japanese language ability consists of greetings and "bi-ru kudasai"

There's also a bunch of bits that I didn't post which would make you go "awww" if you're a certain type of person or "blarg" if you're another, like how she asks him to take out the garbage and he asks her to go with him and they end up going for a walk around the neighborhood, ending up costing her more time than if she just threw out the garbage herself, but it was worth it blah blah blah, or how Lazlo is supposedly a very "kind-hearted" (timid) person and can't watch horror movies, and how the wife teases him with horror movies or things that aren't really "horrific" in any way but that bother him (like eating a heart shaped piece of bread).

We're aren't talking literature prize material, but if you have the time to read through them and find them interesting, then sure (although I'd stop at the first two books max, since the stuff afterwards fairly boring) spend the 1000 yen. If not, no biggie. For me my wife wanted them and it turned out I enjoyed reading them as well (which practically never happens with the books we both choose), so no biggie for me.

I'm just surprised how many people here seem to be so vehemently against the books because of the stereotypes/attitudes, especially considering the stereotypes and attitudes that get brought up about Japanese people about every third thread on this board (small dick joke anyone?).

[Adhesive]

I'm just surprised how many people here seem to be so vehemently against the books because of the stereotypes/attitudes, especially considering the stereotypes and attitudes that get brought up about Japanese people about every third thread on this board (small dick joke anyone?).

Agreed.

[amdg]

...would just be construed as a personal squabble. Seen as a petty dispute between two alpha males who just can’t get along, or who are somehow jousting for the pole position of “Mr Kokusaika” etc. Or, as time went on and the DAARIN WA GAIKOKUJIN turned him into a media superstar, seen as sour grapes for him getting rich and famous on his wife’s talents.

I think there's room enough for both of them to be kokusaikas.

[ttjereth]

I think there's room enough for both of them to be kokusaikas.

No. I think we need a steel cage death match.

[Mulboyne]

Yomiuri: Love, 'darling' style

Nearly 6 percent of marriages in Japan are between a Japanese and a foreigner, according to 2005 Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry statistics. One couple in particular has put a face--albeit a cartoon one--on the growing institution of international marriage that is now recognized by millions of readers, TV viewers and commuters. "We get recognized on the street a bit," says Tony Laszlo, one half of the husband-wife writing team behind nearly a dozen books, including the popular Daarin wa Gaikokujin (My Darling is a Foreigner) series. "Especially me. I guess it's the beard. So, lately, I've been trying to dress more presentably." "Really?" manga artist, writer and Tony's wife, Saori Oguri, asks. "When?" "Well, from tomorrow," Tony responds. "I promise." Following a brief e-mail interview, the couple and I meet for a conversation over coffee. Tony is a man of his word: He is dressed elegantly in a suit, heavy overcoat and a fedora--nothing like the T-shirt and jeans Saori so often draws him wearing.

The Daarin wa Gaikokujin series, the third installment of which--Daarin wa Gaikokujin with Baby--came out in March last year, has proven popular among so-called international couples whose relationship is caught between two often very different cultures and languages. This popularity is in part because Darling is not an attempt to get readers to "laugh at the strange foreigner," an approach that still plagues network TV; both sides of the relationship are portrayed accurately and fairly, affording readers an opportunity to see how people think and react--and why they do so--in a sometimes difficult relationship. "We are not attempting to enlighten anyone with our books," Saori says. Tony, who is originally from New York, is known for his work on Issho Kikaku, a nongovernmental volunteer organization that deals with issues of diversity, language, culture and racism in Japan. "As we relate various occurrences in our life together, and our mental or physical reactions to them, I suppose bits and pieces of our respective psyches become exposed." "While many readers write about their surprise at some of the things Tony does, quite a few women have written in to say that their [Japanese] mate is just like him," Saori says.

While the couple's other book series--the guidebook series Dai no ji [spread out and relax], the new Mezu Mezu [admiration] guide to traditional Japanese culture, and several cookbooks and language books--tend to be more informational entertainment, the Darling books are often laugh-out-loud funny. So...how much of it is real? "In general, events and dialogue are true-to-life," Saori says. "Facial expressions and physical movement of the characters may be exaggerated a bit. When something strange happens, I make a habit of jotting it down for possible use later. So, write first, ask later." "There are parts of the way he does things that are just funny...[but] I've gotten used to the way he is, so I don't know what's funny or interesting anymore," she continues. "I want him to try a little harder for me." "I am who I am," he says, deadpan.

Like any multicultural couple, differences can be an interesting topic. In the case of Saori and Tony, their livelihoods thrive on their examination and interpretations of that aspect of their relationship. "In fact, we quarrel over what is and is not a cultural difference," Saori says. "For example," Tony says, "we argue about whether grapes and apples should always be peeled. (I don't think so.) Saori says such preferences are indicative of cultural background, but I think it is not the best word. Sometimes such preferences may change after just a few news reports, agricultural developments or policy changes. Or they might change over a generation or two. Preferences deeply rooted in culture are probably not so fungible." Adds Saori: "Cultural difference or not, I got quite a jolt when I first saw Tony put peanut butter on celery and broccoli...and feed it to our son." "Whatever it takes to get him eat his greens," Tony says.

At the cafe, mid-conversation, Saori suddenly turns to me and asks, "When you come in from outside, do you wash your hands with hot or cold water?" "It depends on the weather," I say, not realizing I'm being led into what seems like a long-running debate. The couple slip out of interview mode and become more relaxed as they argue about scientific reasons versus cultural reasons for why Japanese tend to use cold water, Americans hot. Ten minutes into the argument, it seems as if they've brought today's discussion to a close as Saori leans over toward me to comment on the situation. "This kind of conversation is endless," she says...before launching back into the debate, this time more passionately. Tony explains the pastime: "We both read the newspaper and research a lot; she's got her opinions, I've got mine." "I welcome it about 80 percent of the time," Saori laughs. "But, maybe because of our backgrounds, the way in which we research things is different. We try to find out things the other doesn't already know."

Putting useful information and experimentation into manga form has long been the cornerstone of Saori's work. "I have had a torrent of offers for 'essay manga' and 'reportage manga,'" she explains. Following the success of the first two Darling books, she wrote Eigo ga Dekinai Watashi o Semenaide! (I Want to Speak English!), a mostly-text book about her experience of searching for the best method for herself in studying English, a language she has never been particularly strong in--or needed to be, as Tony is fluent in Japanese, among many other languages. In fact, he has written a book on the subject, Daarin no Ataman-naka (Inside Darling's Mind.) The second in the series is slated to come out next year. "It was years before I ever saw him speaking English," Saori jokes. "He's surprisingly good! He can speak well and his pronunciation is pretty good, too!"

But now, the two have another reason to think carefully about language in and outside of their home: their young son, Tony, Jr., known as Toninho. "Tony speaks only English with Toninho, and constantly encourages me to do so, as well. I try," Saori says. "When Tony takes Toninho on the occasional two-night or three-night father-and-son trip, we see a spike in his English abilities...I haven't been studying English much, and my vocabulary remains limited," Saori says. "Simple everyday conversation has become easier, though." The two have been experimenting with turning their household into an English-only zone, as Toninho is getting his Japanese fix at school and out in society. "Frankly speaking, it's not always pleasant for Saori, so it's not really working in our case. It's kind of a dilemma," Tony explains. "Pleasantness is a priority [in language learning], so we may drop it altogether and go back to [Saori speaking to Tonihno only in Japanese, while I speak to him only in English.]"

Where experimentation has been effective--and profitable--is the couple's interest in introducing traditional Japanese culture into their lives, particularly music and long-lost practices. A visit to Kyoto to investigate these things further resulted in November's Mezu Mezu Wa-bunka Kenkyujo Kyoto (Mezu Mezu Japanese Culture Laboratory--Kyoto), a look at unusual traditions not found in the usual guidebook. Written partly in English, it also contains etymologies of words that are new even to native Japanese speakers. "We both want to experience more in the area of traditional Japan and related themes," Saori says. "[Mezu Mezu] has been a step in that direction. I would like to learn more about Japanese karesansui and other gardens, and Tony is on a Miyadaiku [shrine and temple carpentry] kick." Says Tony: "I wouldn't mind living in a more traditional wooden home. And in addition to blues, jazz and classical music at the dinner table, recently we have been listening to gagaku [court music] now and again."

Despite its popularity with international couples, and even though half of the writing team is a native English speaker, their books have seen most of their translations released in...Chinese. In fact, they are not available in English. "We're hoping for an opportunity to publish in English, be it via translation or original." With the couple now appearing in an animated television commercial and a short spot shown on the onboard video screens of some JR trains in Tokyo, not to mention a number of book series, will the Daarin wa Gaikokujin series, which has seen releases in some form biannually since 2002, continue? "Yeah...I don't know," Saori says. "Sometimes, maybe," Tony says. "There has been talk of a film," Saori says. "Taking up the right projects is important. We have chosen projects that have been fulfilling on a personal level, and fortunately they have worked out on a financial level, as well," Tony says. "After the birth of our son, it is easy to imagine that he will be reading our books, one day. That gives us one more incentive to do a good job."