Stuff White People Like

[FG Lurker]

Stuff White People Like

#71 Being the only white person around

This concept ties heavily into post #7 Diversity and post #19 Travelling, but is important that you fully understand how white people view authenticity and experience.

In most situations, white people are very comforted by seeing their own kind. However, when they are eating at a new ethnic restaurant or traveling to a foreign nation, nothing spoils their fun more than seeing another white person.

Many white people will look into the window of an ethnic restaurant to see if there are other white people in there. It is determined to be an acceptable restaurant if the white people in there are accompanied by ethnic friends. But if there is a table occupied entirely by white people, it is deemed unacceptable.

(The rest...)

This blog isn't about gaijin as such but some of the posts really match the way a lot of gaijin behave in Japan. Some posts almost seem like they were written by Take, but with better English.

[halfnip]

Stuff White People Like



This blog isn't about gaijin as such but some of the posts really match the way a lot of gaijin behave in Japan. Some posts almost seem like they were written by Take, but with better English.

I have done this numerous times in Hong Kong, much to my regret.

[Visitor K]

thats a pretty funny site.. here are some other ones i found that pertain to japan...

#11 Asian Girls

95% of white males have at one point in their lives, experienced yellow fever. Many factors have contributed to this phenomenon such as guilt from head taxes, internment camps, dropping the Nuclear bomb and the Viet Nam War . This exchange works both ways as asian girls have a tendency to go for white guys. (White girls never go for asian guys. Bruce Lee and Paul Kariya’s dad are the only recorded instances in modern history). Asian girls often to do this to get back at their strict traditional fathers. There is also the option of dating black guys, but they know deep down that this would give their non-english speaking grandmother(s) a heart attack.

White men love asian women so much that they will go to extremes such as stating that Sandra Oh is sexy, teaching English in Asia, playing in a coed volleyball league, or attending institutions such as UBC or UCLA (please note that both schools’ colors of “blue” and “yellow” are intentional also the “A” in “UCLA” stand for “Asian” while the “B” in “UBC” stands for “Billion” try and figure out what the rest of the letters stand for). Another factor that draws white guys to asian women is that white women are jealous of them.

Take for instance the fact that asian women well into their 30s and 40s retain teen / college girl looks without the help of botox, yoga or a trendy diet (future posts). Asian women also avoid key white women characteristics such as having a mid life crisis, divorce, and hobbies that don’t involve taking care of the children (also future posts). Should white guy / asian girl marry, they produce hybirds that are aestically pleasing, but are very annoying. This practice is also a means by which white people can catch up to the asian peoples in the population race, as most of the hybirds often act white rather than asian.

[Visitor K]

...

#42 Sushi

Regardless if you are vegetarian, vegan, or just guilty about eating meat, all white people love Sushi. To them, it’s everything they want: foreign culture, expensive, healthy, and hated by the ‘uneducated.’

But there are different levels of white person Sushi love. At the bottom are the spicy tuna/california roll eaters. These are the people who get their fix at places named “Rock And Roll!” “Magic Sushi Company,” or Trader Joes-type supermarkets. Often times, this sushi isn’t the most authentic, but white people can’t get enough!

The next level up is the entry level Sushi snob, these are people who still love rolls, but are willing to branch out to Salmon and Tuna sashimi, maybe even eel.

Finally, you have the white sushi snob. These people just take it all way too far. Often times, they will only sit at the sushi bar, will try to order in Japanese and will only order Omakase. These people will often be extremely critical of anyone who eats a roll of any type or does not properly flip the nighiri into their mouths.

When white people get Sushi they all want to order Sake to complete the authentic experience.

So, how can this information be turned into personal gain?

White people are obsessed with finding good sushi, therefore if you offer to take them to ‘the best sushi place’ in town, you are sure to have them accept. If you are asian man, this is an almost no-fail method of getting dates with white girls, and maybe, just maybe joining Bruce Lee and Paul Kariya’s dad.

In addition, going out for Sushi is considered a special evening in white person culture. Not as special as breakfast, but still, it comes with expectations.

But what if the person you are interested in is a vegetarian? Not a problem. For some reason, most white people who say they are vegetarians will eat Sushi. Apparently, fish aren’t cute enough to warrant inclusion with pigs, chickens and cows.

[Visitor K]

...

#58 Japan

Though there is full white consensus on a number of white things, there is perhaps nothing that draws more universal white acclaim than the island nation of Japan. It should be noted, that some white people harbor SOME ill will toward Japan because of whaling, killing dolphins or Nanking. But those are generally considered isolated incidents that do not indict the entire nation.

White people love Japan for a number of reasons. Sushi is pretty much the biggest one, since white people have spent so much time Sushi restaurants, enjoying the food, learning about how to eat it, and how to be snobby about it. This natural curiousity fills them with a need to pay a visit to Tsukiji and taste the freshest Sushi possible.

But it goes beyond just food, all white people either have/will/or wished they had taught English in Japan. It is a dream for them to go over seas and actually live in Japan. This helps them not only because it fills their need to travel, it will enable them to gain important leverage over other white people at Sushi restaurants where they can say “this place is pretty good, but living in Japan really spoiled me. I’ve had such a hard time finding a really authentic place.”

White people also love Japan because of it’s tradition, futuristic cities, films, kawaii stuff, music, and writers. Many white nerds are into anime, so being too into this can be seen as a negative by white people. It’s best to have a passing familiarity for things like Hayao Miyazaki who is universally accepted by white people, or if they don’t know who is he, they will look him up and they won’t find weird violent or sexual cartoons.

If you find yourself in an awkward silence with white people, just mention how you want to go to Japan. They will immediately begin talking about how their trip to Japan, or their favorite stuff from Japan, but it will be entirely about them. This is useful as you no longer have to talk, and they will like you for letting them talk about themselves.

But like with anime, you have to be careful about how much you like Japan. If you know how to speak Japanese, you kind of ruin it for everyone else.

[Visitor K]

#71 Being the only white person around

i think most white people who travel to other countries have been done this.. god forbid another honky come and ruin your genuine traveling experience!

on the other hand, after a while of living in a foreign country it is always nice to be able to speak to somebody that speaks your language and you can relate to on a different level than the locals..

[kusai Jijii]

Ok, which one of you guys fucked this dude's girlfriend?

G-man, you got anything to come clean about?;)

[Greji]

[quote="kusai Jijii"]Ok, which one of you guys fucked this dude's girlfriend?

G-man, you got anything to come clean about?]

Ji if you are trying to insinuate that I'm gay and was doing the dude, that is complete slander and I resent the slur on my character immensely. You ought to be ashamed of yourself

I mean it was only one night, so it wasn't like I was doing him all the time.

[kusai Jijii]

Ji if you are trying to insinuate that I'm gay and was doing the dude, that is complete slander and I resent the slur on my character immensely. You ought to be ashamed of yourself

I mean it was only one night, so it wasn't like I was doing him all the time.

[Iraira]

Ji if you are trying to insinuate that I'm gay and was doing the dude, that is complete slander and I resent the slur on my character immensely. You ought to be ashamed of yourself

I mean it was only one night, so it wasn't like I was doing him all the time.

and
1) he dressed up like a goat.
2) there was alcohol involved.
3) you were promised 47 virgins when you die and go to heaven.

Come to think of it, you can pretty easily find 47 virgins at most manga kissaten in Akihabara....

[Greji]

and
1) he dressed up like a goat.

Well, you do need them to spruce up a bit!

2) there was alcohol involved.

Not as a rule, more like a habit...

3) you were promised 47 virgins when you die and go to heaven.

Come to think of it, you can pretty easily find 47 virgins at most manga kissaten in Akihabara....

Since I don't have any reservations that will be able to get me into heaven, have you got the address of one of those kissatens?

[Iraira]

Since I don't have any reservations that will be able to get me into heaven, have you got the address of one of those kissatens?

I didn't know that you were interested in 47 otaku Japanese virgin males? Osama didn't tell you the part about the 47 virgins being males did he? Always leaves that part out when he's convincing you to put on that C4 vest. Oh well, live and learn........or something to that extent.

[Greji]

I didn't know that you were interested in 47 otaku Japanese virgin males? Osama didn't tell you the part about the 47 virgins being males did he? Always leaves that part out when he's convincing you to put on that C4 vest. Oh well, live and learn........or something to that extent.

Well, it is Akiba. I guess I better study up!

[Iraira]

Well, it is Akiba. I guess I better study up!

Actually this website had some useful info:
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Nerd
Topics covered do touch upon anime/manga otaku and Pokemon.


Wonder if this guy can get laid in Japan?

[Tsuru]

Greatest topic ever.

[yt]tzXSky8k22o[/yt]

[Iraira]

Greatest topic ever.

[yt]tzXSky8k22o[/yt]

I enjoyed explaining "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon" to the gf last night....thanks.

[Greji]

I enjoyed explaining "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon" to the gf last night....thanks.

I hope it wasn't a show and tell. Dew worms make such lousy teaching aids...

[Iraira]

I hope it wasn't a show and tell. Dew worms make such lousy teaching aids...

I prefer that people refer to my "member" as "needle dick, the bug fucker"...someone had to inseminate all those female fruit flies back in college, and I was dutifully qualified to such a task. By the way, some species of flies show a mean mating time of >6 hours. Sure, everything is easy when you have an exoskeleton penis.

[Greji]

By the way, some species of flies show a mean mating time of >6 hours.

I always wondered why Vincent Price was so intrigued with making that movie!

[String]

And on a related note:

Stuff White People Don't Like

The latest post on this blog also appears to bear some relevance to the gaijin population:

Exclusion

White people don't like being left out. No one likes being excluded but white people especially don't like it because they are not used to it. White people have always been included in everything (except slavery) and it disturbs them when they feel like they are missing out on something.

In order to preempt any feelings of exclusion, white people go to great lengths to be a part of everything they can find: neighborhood associations, political groups, animal rights organizations, booster clubs, parent-teacher groups, book clubs, country clubs etc. White people are game for anything that entitles them to a card certifying their membership and requires them to pay dues.

In addition to pointless memberships, white people are also known to employ a less difficult, but just as effective, tactic for avoiding exclusion: gossipping about the people around them. Never underestimate the power that this behavior can provide. It serves two functions: one, it includes them in "the loop" of people who know the information and two, it provides them with firepower if they ever need to launch a quick counter-offensive against someone who is attempting to exclude them.

Example:
"Sorry Sharon, I wish you could go to lunch with us but its just the people from acccounting that are going."
"Oh ok John. Hey, I just heard you have a nasty case of IBS. I'll ask around the building while you're gone to see if anyone knows a good doctor."
"You know what Sharon, just come with us".

[Behan]

Doesn't the word 'slave' come from the word 'slav'?

Further, I am a slave to my family and company, and internet porn.