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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto

J-Epiphanies for Today, 9-17-08

Groovin' in the Gaijin Gulag
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J-Epiphanies for Today, 9-17-08

Postby Catoneinutica » Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:52 pm

As anyone who's ever read any of my goofy, half-arsed posts knows, I'm not the deepest of thinkers. It takes a long time for the obvious to creep up on me, and when it does, it's such a revelation that I feel like I gots to share it. Thus far today, I've finally figured out:

1) All of those redundant road construction guards you see? Window dressing, tatemae to allow contractors and bureaucrats to run up bids.

2) Japanese run marathons, and not short-distance races, because of...the tansoku!
[INDENT]a) On the subject of tansoku, the Dutch in Nagasaki were described by Japanese writers has having long, disproportionate legs that made them look top-heavy, "like a dog." And even in WWII the dog motif remained strong - Churchill and Roosevelt were often depicted with dog legs.

b) Also on the subject of tansoku, I reckon that's why so many Japanese folks seem to own dachshunds - long-haired ones, because J-folks themselves often seem to favor grotesque, baroque hairdos.[/INDENT]

3) Einstein once said something to effect of, if you just take the easy way out and go along with everyone else, you might as well not have a brain; a spinal cord would suffice. Bit of an indictment of Japan's derukugi culture! I wonder if Einstein would be such an icon here if it was widely known he said that.
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"YOS" is not a greeting

Postby Taro Toporific » Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:23 pm

Catoneinutica wrote:..J-Epiphanies for Today, 9-17-09.
Hey are you reading mail? You copied the title to my email my family 5 minutes ago.

Peter JLIST just wrote: "Children who are able to greet others properly won't be steered wrong in life." This is one of the many tidbits of wisdom hung on metal signs put up by our local PTA...

My local PTA has the same brainfart on a hand-painted sign posted next to my trolley stop. My epiphany in Japanese is advising: "Those who are able to greet others properly won't be steered wrong in life."

Huh? "Greet others properly"?

Most salarymen get thorough the entire day with fewer than ten words and grunts. Ah yes, I guess they were "steered wrong in life" and became salarymen.

Thanks to that PTA sign, from this day forward I shall endeavor to greet others properly... "[SIZE="3"]HOWDY![/SIZE]":p
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Postby Takechanpoo » Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:13 pm

Catoneinutica wrote:1) All of those redundant road construction guards you see? Window dressing, tatemae to allow contractors and bureaucrats to run up bids.


Beside being redundant, real reason you non-mongoloid gaijins hate road construction guards so much is because they stealthily stare at you whenever you pass through.
"Ah~, gaijin daaaaa!!!"

This is a very time you non-mongoloid gaijins cannot help feeling your gaijiness in Japan life.
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Postby Catoneinutica » Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:30 pm

"YOS"? Yo, sucka? A matey "You old shite" (how's it hanging, ya bastard?)?

My way of greeting oyaji on escalators is to ever-so-noiselessly ascend right up onto the step immediately behind them, situate my nose to within a couple of centimeters of their ear, and then sniff noisily. (If they glare at me after they've pooped their drawers, I put on an insousciant face as if to say, but...my friend, in my country it is normal to do such things!)

-catone
-you gotta take your fun where you can find it
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Postby Catoneinutica » Wed Sep 17, 2008 10:38 pm

Takechanpoo wrote:Beside being redundant, real reason you non-mongoloid gaijins hate road construction guards so much is because they stealthily stare at you whenever you pass through.
"Ah~, gaijin daaaaa!!!"

This is a very time you non-mongoloid gaijins cannot help feeling your gaijiness in Japan life.


You know, it's ironic you should say that. I usually feel sorry for them, especially if they're younger guys. How demeaning to have to take such a shit-eating job. The only thing worse would be a sandwich-sign wearer.
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Postby Greji » Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:35 pm

Takechanpoo wrote:Beside being redundant, real reason you non-mongoloid gaijins hate road construction guards so much is because they stealthily stare at you whenever you pass through.
"Ah~, gaijin daaaaa!!!"

This is a very time you non-mongoloid gaijins cannot help feeling your gaijiness in Japan life.



Geez, Take. I apologize. I didn't know it made you feel bad if we caught you there on the job. I can see why you would "steathly stare".
:cool:
"There are those that learn by reading. Then a few who learn by observation. The rest have to piss on an electric fence and find out for themselves!"- Will Rogers
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Postby Phantom » Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:14 pm

Catoneinutica wrote:3) Einstein once said something to effect of, if you just take the easy way out and go along with everyone else, you might as well not have a brain]derukugi[/I] culture! I wonder if Einstein would be such an icon here if it was widely known he said that.

Even in Western countries these days, anyone who stands out as being slightly different, or goes against the majority, gets whacked down pretty fast. Try claiming that Jesus isn't the son of God, or that Islam promotes violence, or that Paris Hilton is kinda hot, and you'll find yourself subject to a torrent of abuse.
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Postby amdg » Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:16 pm

Paris Hilton is Kinda hot.
Mr Kobayashi: First, I experienced a sort of overpowering feeling whenever I was in the room with foreigners, not to mention a powerful body odor coming from them. I don't know whether it was a sweat from the heat or a cold sweat, but I remember I was sweating whenever they were around.
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Postby omae mona » Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:21 pm

Islam promotes violence.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080919/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_mideast_tv_fatwa

By DONNA ABU-NASR, Associated Press Writer



..
On Tuesday, another Saudi cleric, Sheik Mohammed Munajjid, said the cartoon character Mickey Mouse should be killed. Munajjid said in an interview with a religious Web site that under Islamic law, rats and mice are considered "repulsive" and as "soldiers of Satan." "For children they've become something great and beloved. Like this Mickey Mouse, who is seen as a great figure, even though under Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed," said Munajjid, who is a well-known cleric but does not hold a government position.

P.S. I swear I am not making this up.
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Postby Phantom » Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:33 pm

omae mona wrote:Islam promotes violence.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080919/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_mideast_tv_fatwa

P.S. I swear I am not making this up.

Irrational and murderous threats against cartoon characters? I guess they've pretty much threatenned everyone else on the planet and are now scraping the bottom of the barrel. How about puppies, butterflies and unicorns? Are they also the spawn of Satan?
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