Getting Married - Some Issues

[*Hashiriya*]

Hey all,

Basically jumped on here to Ask some Q's.

I have been in Japan now for a couple years and i have been with a lovely girl who i am taking back to Australia in February to pop the big question on Valentines day. I have already meet her parents and done the whole arkward dinner thing but they are really cool so no issues there.

My Visa is running out at the begining of March and im going on holiday for 3 weeks in Feburary and i dont want to get a sponsored visa through the company im working for now. So im sort of at ends wondering what i should do. Im taking this holiday in Febuary because ofcourse thats when Valentines day is, the 14th.

Should i plan my trip to overlap into March and come in on holiday visa or i should i hault my visa for when im away from Japan and get the extra 3 weeks or so to use in March.

Any help would be appreciated thanks!

[FG Lurker]

You should propose to her on December 24th and set the wedding date for sometime around valentines day. Then you can apply for a spouse visa before your current visa runs out.

[Charles]

I have been in Japan now for a couple years and i have been with a lovely girl who i am taking back to Australia in February to pop the big question on Valentines day.

Make sure you have a Plan B. She might say no (especially after she sees oz).

[james]

Make sure you have a Plan B. She might say no (especially after she sees oz).

[Greji]

You should propose to her on December 24th and set the wedding date for sometime around valentines day. Then you can apply for a spouse visa before your current visa runs out.

Lurk is spot on about the visa. Spouse visa is a slam dunk and since the legalities of the marriage in J-land is basically just registry at the city office, the visa is a short trip to immigrations away.

Must Japanese are married this way a long time before they have the phony western styled ceremonies as a "Marriage" or hiroen type reception.

Valentine's Day is romantic but might just not be as practical for your plans. Christmas Eve has become popular lately....

[IkemenTommy]

Valentine's Day is romantic but might just not be as practical for your plans. Christmas Eve has become popular lately....

Popular, which equates to being more crowded and expensive to have on those psudo-"special" days.

[kusai Jijii]

"Getting married. Some issues"

Fuck yeah. A whole bunch of God dammed issues...But I digress. Lurk's advice about Christmas is spot on.

Oh, and by the way, congrats.

[Gilligan]

"Getting married. Some issues"

Fuck yeah. A whole bunch of God dammed issues...

But I digress. Lurk's advice about Christmas is spot on.

Oh, and by the way, congrats.

Don't go jinxing the old boy KJ--I mean his girl hasn't said yes yet.

[IkemenTommy]

:rofl:



Don't go jinxing the old boy KJ--I mean his girl hasn't said yes yet.

Yeah, now you got poor Hashiriya all nervous and lose sleep over.

[james]

Yeah, now you got poor Hashiriya all nervous and lose sleep over.

that's ok, after a year or two of marriage he'll be able to get all the sleep he wants

[Jack]

Date other girls before you marry her.

[wuchan]

Date other girls before you marry her.

you wouldn't know a girl if one came up and sat on your face. fucking clown. Ooohh shit...... fucking wana-be trust fund baby fits you better.

[Jack]

you wouldn't know a girl if one came up and sat on your face. fucking clown. Ooohh shit...... fucking wana-be trust fund baby fits you better.

Why so hostile? I am giving this poor dude some valuable advice. He is going to get married with the first girl that smiled at him. He should date more girls just to see if this one stacks up well.

[GomiGirl]

Date other girls before you marry her.

Bet that is what your ( ex ) wives say you should have done too!!

[Gilligan]

He is going to get married with the first girl that smiled at him. He should date more girls just to see if this one stacks up well.

That may or may not be true, but there's absolutely NOTHING in his post that would lead one to believe that it's anymore true than false.

[*Hashiriya*]

Hey, thanks everyone for the helpful comments. I have dated many girls all who have helped me to grow up and find what's important to me in a relationship, i could not fault the girl I'm with if i tried besides the fact that maybe she is too nice. And its not very hard to find girls in Japan all it takes is one night out in Tokyo to come home with a list of numbers, if you were to take the first girl that smiled at you in Japan you would be a fool.

Lurker mate your spot on with the advice, but i really don't want to move this whole thing forward, I'm going on holiday in Feb to see family and friends but also a very large part of it is because its V-Day on the 14th. Im not a huge fan of Australia thats why I'm living here but the place is great for a holiday and to get away from Japan for a little while.

So could i come back in on a 3 month working holiday or should i get my Visa put on hold while i away then use those 3 weeks when i come back to go sign the forms etc so I'm official so to speak.

Don't take it as I'm being difficult i know the best way is to do it before my visa runs out but i don't want to rush this important proposal.

- Luke

[omae mona]

So could i come back in on a 3 month working holiday or should i get my Visa put on hold while i away then use those 3 weeks when i come back to go sign the forms etc so I'm official so to speak.

It sounds like you are implying there's a process where you can get your Japanese visa "put on hold" by temporarily leaving the country, and then you get make-up time when you come back. Is that what you mean? If so, I've never heard of such a process. If your visa expires in February, then it expires in February no matter where you go in the meantime.

[maraboutslim]

Date other girls before you marry her.

Only before? I thought he was in Japan?

[FG Lurker]

Lurker mate your spot on with the advice, but i really don't want to move this whole thing forward, I'm going on holiday in Feb to see family and friends but also a very large part of it is because its V-Day on the 14th. Im not a huge fan of Australia thats why I'm living here but the place is great for a holiday and to get away from Japan for a little while.

Valentines day in Japan doesn't have as much romantic significance as it does in Australia. Christmas Eve is a much more "romantic evening" if you are looking for that sort of day to propose.

I would also say that you are better off not letting your current visa lapse. If you wait until Feb 14th to do the proposal you could find yourself in serious trouble visa-wise. Getting a Working Holiday Visa is not a sure thing, and there is no 100% guarantee that you would get a tourist visa, though if it is your first I don't think you will have problems. Still, if you end up on a tourist visa in Japan you can't work until your spousal visa is approved and will take several weeks at the least. It could take longer in the spring as immigration is generally very busy with student visas at that time of year.

There is also the chance that she might say "no" to your proposal -- it does happen. In this case you could really be up shit creak as you would have no visa, no job, and could end up being stuck in Australia instead of in Japan where you want to be.

Sooooo, I would either move your proposal up to Christmas or get a work visa sponsored by your current employer. You don't have to stay with that employer just because they sponsored your visa (though it wouldn't really be fair to get the visa and then just bolt...) You can also change the work visa to a spouse visa as soon as you get married.

[Big Booger]

[kusai Jijii]

Hey Luke mate,
you ain't the Kiwi in Gunma formally known as Minihux by chance?

[nottu]

[TFG]

Also, it may take you over a month to get the marriage documents together, it did me as I had to get all sorts of crap from the British embassy and they had to post the certificate of non impediment on the wall for 21 days before they would issue it.

[Iraira]

v + (2/14 - T) < T + 90

The answer is still 9.

For which variable?
Why is there a parenthesis around "2/14 -T"?
And why is 2/14 not 1/7?

[Mulboyne]

So could i come back in on a 3 month working holiday or should i get my Visa put on hold while i away then use those 3 weeks when i come back to go sign the forms etc so I'm official so to speak.

As Omae Mona says, you write as if you believe your visa is granted for a fixed period which you can use whenever you choose. That's not how it works. If your visa runs until, say, the end of February, then spending three weeks out of Japan between now and then doesn't mean you get the chance to stay on into March. Your visa runs out when it says it runs out. If you want to stay in Japan, you'll have to apply for an extension or a brand new visa. If your plans really do all hinge on believing that your current visa will "last" three weeks longer than it does then you should do a serious rethink now.

[*Hashiriya*]

Yep, just noticed, i think i followed some info from a friend who by the sounds of it has no idea!

Guess i may have to move it to an earlier date but i really dont want to, i wanted to do it all in Australia, the Japanese dont really celebrate V-Day like we do so it would of been nice for her. I dont mind doing that stuff for someone i feel this serious about, but i think i might just have to move it earlier.....shit!

- Luke

[Mulboyne]

...the Japanese dont really celebrate V-Day like we do...

In a way, they do. As others have said, Christmas Eve is probably the closest to equivalent to Valentine's Day as you know it in the West.

[IkemenTommy]

Christmas and Valentines are the most fucked up commercialized annual events you will ever experience here.

Anyway, if you guys ever decide to get married and all, don't ever pull anything like this one at the wedding:
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