compensation for abortion

[rieki]

is there such a thing in japan?, I mean:
I knock up this girl (she is 35y.o actually) and I agreed to pay half for the abortion. additionally she wants 500000yen:jawdrop: for abortion compensation WTF is this legal? should I start looking for a Lawyer?!:mad:

Help!

[GomiGirl]

There is compensation for everything here.

Hard to know what to do in your situation as you left three lines of information here.

Welcome aboard - you sound totally fucked.

[Coligny]

is there such a thing in japan?, I mean:
I knock up this girl (she is 35y.o actually) and I agreed to pay half for the abortion. additionally she wants 500000yen:jawdrop: for abortion compensation WTF is this legal? should I start looking for a Lawyer?!:mad:

Help!

Tell her to GFH.

End of story.

[wuchan]

is there such a thing in japan?, I mean:
I knock up this girl (she is 35y.o actually) and I agreed to pay half for the abortion. additionally she wants 500000yen:jawdrop: for abortion compensation WTF is this legal? should I start looking for a Lawyer?!:mad:

Help!

I have herd of english schools paying hush money to the parents of girls who got knocked up by the foreigners. I can't see how the chick you knocked up is breaking the law tho, it is her choice to keep it or not and you always have the option of just walking away. If she does try to do anything later just accuse her of cheating. I know it sounds fucked up but here in japan they can't go crying to Montel.

A little advise: Keep that shit wrapped up.

[amdg]

is there such a thing in japan?, I mean:
I knock up this girl (she is 35y.o actually) and I agreed to pay half for the abortion. additionally she wants 500000yen:jawdrop: for abortion compensation WTF is this legal? should I start looking for a Lawyer?!:mad:

Help!

Well, there's no law that says you have to pay what she's asking, so you CAN just walk away.

But an abortion is not a completely minor operation. It can also be traumatic. If you can't or won't help her financially, maybe you could help her in other ways - take her to the clinic and pick her up when it's time to go, and look after her for a few days.

[Cyka UchuuJin]

As GG said, you've not given much information, but if you were stupid enough not to wear a condom, then you deserve everything you've got coming to you.

if i were you (and thank fuck i'm not, because you seem to be dumb as rocks), i'd offer to take her to the clinic, pay for the whole abortion, make sure she's ok afterwards, and look after her for a few days. this isn't just like getting a wart removed, the physical and emotional effects of terminating a baby is not an easy thing.

personally, i hope that she decides to keep it and sues your sorry ass for child support and you get to pay many, many times more than the 500.000 she's asking for.

[Cyka UchuuJin]

Tell her to GFH.

End of story.

i hope every girl you ever try to hit on again tells you the same.

[Sentakki Fried Chicken]

I'm with Cyka.
You're leaving this woman with mental and physical pain. I think you have a responsibility to look after her in every way possible, financially and mentally, regardless of any legal obligations.
Should you choose to ignore this advice and (I hope) your conscience, you could certainly hire a lawyer and contest her claim, though I think you'll find that by the end of the legal process, the situation will have cost considerably more than she is seeking and will be incalculably more painful for all parties involved.
I think it's cheaper and easier to do the right thing and you may even feel less guilt because you will have tried to rectify your mistake by taking care of somebody you have hurt. And you will have acted responsibily and grown as a person at the same time.

[Iraira]

First of all, if the girl is pregnant, her hormones are bouncing all over the place and definitely affecting her behavior. Cyclical unlogic will ensue should you try to argue with her, so there's no point in that. Dealt with this once in my life, and that was enough. You cannot argue with her, it doesn't matter if your "studliness" can melt butter in a liquid nitrogen freezer.
If she wants the abortion, be a man, open the wallet and pay for the entire thing, it's about $1000. If she'll let you/if the hostpital will let you, be by her side after the operation. Do take care of her afterwards. She might not want you to, that's also her choice.
The shame factor of having been impregnated by you will settle in on her afterwards, and there will be no lawsuit for compensation money. However, save all e-mails, tape all in person communication, and wear a jimmy hat 24-7.

[Mike Oxlong]

Does the woman not bear some responsibility for the use or non-use of birth control when a couple "does it"? This guy may be as dumb and as much of a jerk as everyone assumes, but is he soley and completely responsible for the unwanted pregnancy? We have no idea what kind of a whack job he's gotten involved with (or maybe we do)...

[Samurai_Jerk]

Did she already have the abortion? If so, then tell her to fuck off. If not, then go along with it till she does then tell her to fuck off. Don't sign anything either.

I like the way people want to blame the guy like it's his fault she got pregnant. Typical in the modern anti male world. Unless he raped her or she purposely stopped taking the pill without his knowledge, it's both their faults. A 50-50 split is fine. Paying 100% if it makes thing smoother would be a nice gesture. Moral support afterward would be nice too as long as you don't let her drag you down into a gutter of depression.

The fact is she has 100% control of her body and you have no legal recourse to make her have an abortion or to stop her from doing it. You have no reproductive rights so you shouldn't feel obligated to pay her for the emotional pain of going through the abortion. I have a Catholic friend who once got a girl pregnant and she had an abortion against his wishes. It still brings him to tears sometimes even though it happened many years ago. Should his ex be paying him abortion compensation?

[omae mona]

I think the original poster's question was more about the 500,000 yen extra compensation the woman is asking for, not the actual expenses for the abortion itself (which they agreed to share). This compensation money is probably a much larger sum of money, and I think that is why the poster is confused about what to do.

Since the woman has put a specific monetary figure on the trauma, it doesn't sound to me like she is interested in having him at her side to provide emotional support.

[baka tono]

You could raise your kid yourself if the mom doesnt want to be involved and spend the 500 000 yen on diapers. Or theres always that baby hatch down in Kyushu. I hear shotgun weddings are gaining popularity too.

[rieki]

I think the original poster's question was more about the 500,000 yen extra compensation the woman is asking for, not the actual expenses for the abortion itself (which they agreed to share). This compensation money is probably a much larger sum of money, and I think that is why the poster is confused about what to do.

Since the woman has put a specific monetary figure on the trauma, it doesn't sound to me like she is interested in having him at her side to provide emotional support.

thank you all for your responses I really appreciate your help

thanks Omae Mona

actually it was her idea to get an abortion and she wants nothing to do with me cause she's got a fiance (long story} who will provide emotional support while she recovers,
she told me that the 500000 yen is compensation for the risk she is going through an abortion and not able to get pregnant in the future.

so question remains should I get legal help or just ignored her request

[TennoChinko]

FYI it sounds like the requested amount is anywhere between 2 to 3 times the average cost of an abortion in Japan...

[wuchan]

thank you all for your responses I really appreciate your help

thanks Omae Mona

actually it was her idea to get an abortion and she wants nothing to do with me cause she's got a fiance (long story} who will provide emotional support while she recovers,
she told me that the 500000 yen is compensation for the risk she is going through an abortion and not able to get pregnant in the future.

so question remains should I get legal help or just ignored her request

fuckin shit. She has a j-man and wants to profit off a accident, she sounds like an american to me. For fuck sake, just walk away and let her boyfriend wonder how she popped out a hafu kid. She deserves all the drama for cheating on him in the first place. "You can't turn a ho into a house wife".

[Samurai_Jerk]

thank you all for your responses I really appreciate your help

thanks Omae Mona

actually it was her idea to get an abortion and she wants nothing to do with me cause she's got a fiance (long story} who will provide emotional support while she recovers,
she told me that the 500000 yen is compensation for the risk she is going through an abortion and not able to get pregnant in the future.

so question remains should I get legal help or just ignored her request

Are you even sure it's yours? No matter what she says about who did or did not wrap up, it could be the finaces's or someone else's. In this case I wouldn't even pay for half the abortion if I were you. She sounds like a real fucking head case.

[tokyolimited]

Long time lurker, first time poster.

Last year, I almost married a J-lady.
Everything seemed to be going fine until my father got ballistic when he found out it was her second marriage. And ofcourse, I eventually found out that that was not the 'real reason'.
Anyways, one thing led to another and we broke up.
She demanded compensation:wall: . Something around $10k.
Mind you she wasn't pregnant.
What drove me up the wall was that she genuinely thought it was natural for me to pay up.
Is this a japanese thing?

[Adhesive]

Uh oh, I see the F'd Gaijin Arbitrary Morality Brigade is out in full force.

[IkemenTommy]

First, get one of these and use it appropriately


Next step: change your phone number and don't contact her. Notify your friends whom your knocked up girl friend have contacts with, to screen all calls coming from her and not allow her to know where you are.

Final step: move to another place.. better choice: move to a different prefecture.. best choice: get the fuck out of Japan.













[SIZE="1"]J/K[/SIZE]

[Dragonette]

What drove me up the wall was that she genuinely thought it was natural for me to pay up. Is this a japanese thing?

Namidakin is an old Japanese custom. IMHO it sucks]She has a j-man and wants to profit off a accident, she sounds like an american to me. For fuck sake, just walk away and let her boyfriend wonder how she popped out a hafu kid. She deserves all the drama for cheating on him in the first place. "You can't turn a ho into a house wife".[/QUOTE]
No, that's most definitely NOT an American thing! I've heard stories like this before, but always about J-girls, sometimes as told by the girls themselves.

Presuming it wasn't rape, she's not an innocent virgin and should have known enough to protect herself. Anyway since it may be her fiancee's baby, maybe he should be paying for the abortion. Consider yourself lucky that you're not him, and next time around, please be very, very, careful. Otherwise, your next "sefure" could leave you with an STD omiyage.

[rieki]

actually this woman is a bit of a head case, she send her fiance to my home to do her bidding and he told me that he hadn't had sex with her for 6 months , then she cames back with her mother to talk to me, oh brother:rolleyes: she's 35 for gods sakes.
anyways we wanted to find out if I impregnated her so we went the local hospital to find out, turns out paternity tests cannot be done until the child is born, doctor told us that based on her last period and the last time we had sex chances are the kid is my:doh:

I agreed to pay half, so today I will give her 80000 yen to cover the abortion and other misc medical tests and she will have the abortion tomorrow,
I told her that I didnt know about abortion compensation and that I will consult with a lawyer about it and get back to her next week.

anyone had a similar story?, please share your experience:bowdown:

[Greji]

anyone had a similar story?, please share your experience:bowdown:

There are old war stories about knocked up girls, who even with the consent of the perp, usually a broke live-in boyfriend, who go out and solicit sex with joe salaryman (or even a gaijin) and then lay the knock-up on his door step, so he will foot all the costs, either as a gentleman, or just not wanting the word to get back to his company.

The best way is to give'r a tied off condom after the deed and say if the baby gets out of that, name him Houdini and don't call me at the office....

[Iraira]

Economy is sluggish, so people are looking for new ways to make a living.
If she suggests the abortion and then wants emotional compensation money, she's pretty much already decided to have the abortion and may just be trying to shake you down.
You can always answer a request for money in exchange for abortion with a fake pro-life stance, "How can you put a value on killing an unborn child, you are sick, I hope that God has mercy on your soul!" (click). Threaten to take her to court to legally prevent her from having the abortion.

Just the devil or whomever's dog's voice is in my head today, instructing me what to write.

[Phantom]

actually it was her idea to get an abortion and she wants nothing to do with me cause she's got a fiance (long story} who will provide emotional support while she recovers, she told me that the 500000 yen is compensation for the risk she is going through an abortion and not able to get pregnant in the future.

She's got a fiance? Its starting to sound very suspicious, like the Japanese girls who accuse men on trains of touching them, then have their boyfriend acting as a stranger testify against the man, and demanding compensation. This can ruin an innocent man's family life and career.

You may very well have been scammed. Do you have any evidence she is actually pregnant? At this stage, the best you can do is negotiate to accompany her to the clinic and pay 100% of the costs and any sundry expenses without question, but not the full 500,000. Don't argue with her over payment of the costs if she is really pregnant. Then change all your contact details and make sure you never bump into her again.

[omae mona]

actually this woman is a bit of a head case, she send her fiance to my home to do her bidding and he told me that he hadn't had sex with her for 6 months , then she cames back with her mother to talk to me, oh brother:rolleyes: she's 35 for gods sakes.
anyways we wanted to find out if I impregnated her so we went the local hospital to find out, turns out paternity tests cannot be done until the child is born, doctor told us that based on her last period and the last time we had sex chances are the kid is my:doh:

I agreed to pay half, so today I will give her 80000 yen to cover the abortion and other misc medical tests and she will have the abortion tomorrow,
I told her that I didnt know about abortion compensation and that I will consult with a lawyer about it and get back to her next week.

I strongly believe you are being scammed.

Hard-to-believe story #1: The fiance stopped having sex with her 6 months ago. What?!?!? Strange in and of itself. And WHAT A COINCIDENCE... that is just the right timing to stop so they can guarantee a doctor will say you've gotta be the father.

Hard-to-believe story #2: She sent the fiance to talk to you?!?? How many months pregnant is this girl, and was she already engaged at the time you slept with her? I assume she was. She not only admitted to having an affair, but this guy was cool about it and decided to come have a nice one-on-one chat with you? Oh please...

Hard-to-believe story #3: She sent her mother? "Hey Mom, while I was cheating on my fiance, I got pregnant with this gaijin. Will you goconvince him to pay me 500K, because I'm really traumatized about this."

For me #1 is the clincher. This is some kind of an extortion scheme. God help me if I'm wrong. But unless there's a really good explanation for issue #1, then I would even hesitate to pay the medical costs - at least until after you have proof that the abortion procedure was carried out.

[Mike Oxlong]

What OM said!!!

[GomiGirl]

However, if we assume for a moment that she is not on the scam (I know it doesn't look good for her), did you offer to pay for the full amount when you heard what state she was in and what she wanted to do about it?

Or did you unwillingly agree to pay half after negotiations?

Basically, it could be that if you were not showing proper care and consideration at the time you found out, then perhaps they may not have gone after you for 500K.

At any rate, I must say that anybody who lawyers up (or threatens to) first in a personal matter like this is a bit of a heel. Especially if you were demanding to know paternity after begrudgingly agreeing to pay half. Sounds to me like you were trying to weasel out of responsibilities from the get go.

But there are two sides to every story so we can't just assume either side is squeaky clean.

Hope it all works out for you.

[sillygirl]

I didn't realise this compensation for feelings was so wide spread in Japan.

One boyfriend of mine gave me 50,000 yen when he said he wanted to break up with me. I had actually not realised I was still dating him as I had er, moved on (pro Aussie snowboarder...)

[TennoChinko]

I strongly believe you are being scammed.

Hard-to-believe story #1: The fiance stopped having sex with her 6 months ago. What?!?!? Strange in and of itself. And WHAT A COINCIDENCE... that is just the right timing to stop so they can guarantee a doctor will say you've gotta be the father.

Hard-to-believe story #2: She sent the fiance to talk to you?!?? How many months pregnant is this girl, and was she already engaged at the time you slept with her? I assume she was. She not only admitted to having an affair, but this guy was cool about it and decided to come have a nice one-on-one chat with you? Oh please...

Hard-to-believe story #3: She sent her mother? "Hey Mom, while I was cheating on my fiance, I got pregnant with this gaijin. Will you goconvince him to pay me 500K, because I'm really traumatized about this."

For me #1 is the clincher. This is some kind of an extortion scheme. God help me if I'm wrong. But unless there's a really good explanation for issue #1, then I would even hesitate to pay the medical costs - at least until after you have proof that the abortion procedure was carried out.

Definitely agree with the above.


Something smells fishy.