HELP!!! I have made 3 J-Chicks pregnant..... what do I do??????

[japslapper]

Truer words have rarely been spoken. From the sounds of it, he couldn't get laid even if it were nickel night at the local whore house and Noriko were around to give freebies to every 10th guy through the door.

I sense a bit of jealousy, here. Don't; most of the chicks were Ho's - not the marriage type (if there is one) all were in the "nice body but a bit thick" class of J-chick.

I have had fun in London, Indianapolis, Houston, Sydney, Copenhagen and Honolulu all in the last 2 years - but nothing like this in terms of sheer numbers over time and the "sting in the tail" of some pregnancies.

Can I conclude that there is no other FG around who has "done a cuckoo" who is a) prepared to share their experiences of b) isn't alive to tell the tail?

Well at least I am helping Japan's population implosion, I suppose

[Midwinter]

I sense a bit of jealousy, here. Don't]

Why am I reminded of this?

As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.

Thank you Japslapper for proving Mike Judge right...

[waruta]

[Iraira]

Originally Posted by Idiocracy
As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.

1) Evolution has had 9 years to reshape human evolution....No f-ing way. Takes a bit longer than that, and all of the above characteristics are not genetic or heritable to beging with...although there is a slight correlation between people having familial trinuceleotide expansion disorders (Huntington's Disease, idiopathic hemochromotosis, etc, y'know those diseases resulting from slip-strand mispairing of repeat sequences that seem to get longer each generation, thereby increasing the onset age and severity of symptoms) and number of offspring produced.

as you can tell, I'm trying to find some way of hijacking this thread so we can just bury it and get on to something more productive like....ummm....errrr....I'm open to your suggestions.

[Greji]

1) Evolution has had 9 years to reshape human evolution....No f-ing way. Takes a bit longer than that, and all of the above characteristics are not genetic or heritable to beging with...although there is a slight correlation between people having familial trinuceleotide expansion disorders (Huntington's Disease, idiopathic hemochromotosis, etc, y'know those diseases resulting from slip-strand mispairing of repeat sequences that seem to get longer each generation, thereby increasing the onset age and severity of symptoms) and number of offspring produced.

as you can tell, I'm trying to find some way of hijacking this thread so we can just bury it and get on to something more productive like....ummm....errrr....I'm open to your suggestions.

You sound pretty worried....are you pregnant again?

[Iraira]

You sound pretty worried....are you pregnant again?

No, but I have the company kenkoushindan this week and had to collect two brown samples from the brown ring region of the netherworld over the weekend. Really kinda messed up the entire weekend, as I felt I had a duty (no puns please regarding that word) to collect a decent "sample". Last year, the daichou was uncooperative and the one chance I had to collect a decent turd-lette quirted out so fast, there was no way to get the little plastic collector thingie on it to get a decent piece. No idea why the log was leaving like a bat out of hell. Anyway, showed up at the hospital on kenkoushindan day without any shit to give the nurse and she berates me. "You should have carried the plastic collection doohickey thing with you, it's small enough and air-tight...blah blah blah..."
Fuck! I dig nurses, ok, but criticizing me for not bringing in any brown nuggets for her to macerate and analyze before I could even have a morning cup of coffee was not the way I wanted to start the day. Then the next nurse wouldn't tell me some nice story while she was sucking liters of blood from my arm. Call me a "pussy", but I don't dig on my own blood being withdrawn.
Nurse: Are you going to be sick?
Me: Maybe, tell me some story, like about a vacation you had?
Nurse: Are you going to be sick?
Me: Be-yotch!

Then, the one really really hot doctor they have (female, DUH!) isn't working that day, so I cancelled the prostate exam portion of the shindan. She's married, which is something I honor, but hey...it's for the benefit of early detection, right? If she would just mumur, "Oh, you like that don't you, bitch.", I'd be in heaven...and request that I get a "health physical" at least once a week.

[kurohinge1]

. . . brown samples from the brown ring region of the netherworld . . . to collect a decent turd-lette . . . the log was leaving like a bat out of hell. . . without any shit to give the nurse . . . any brown nuggets for her to macerate and analyze . . . Call me a "pussy" . . . the prostate exam . . . If she would just mumur, "Oh, you like that don't you, bitch.", I'd be in heaven. . .

Nice try, and thanks for showing all your working, but the correct answer was this:

. . . correct answers to "How are you? ' and "How ya doin'?" are either "I am well" or "I'm doin' well."

[dimwit]

Damn this entire thread reminds me of a really truly bad 1970's Canadian film/tax dodge about the most fertile man in the world who is swooned over by a harem. Can't for the life of me think of the title.

[Iraira]

Damn this entire thread reminds me of a really truly bad 1970's Canadian film/tax dodge about the most fertile man in the world who is swooned over by a harem. Can't for the life of me think of the title.

The working title was, "The Life of IraIra", but they changed it to something else...I can't remember either.

[Mike Oxlong]

The latest research suggests self-control is not natural...

[Greji]

The working title was, "The Life of IraIra", but they changed it to something else...I can't remember either.

"Forrest Gump" ?

[GomiGirl]

"Forrest Gump" ?

I was thinking more like "Rain Man".

[Zeth3D]

Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...

Everybody knows you never go full retard.

[james]

Everybody knows you never go full retard.

that's probably the best advice i've seen on this board in awhile

[Catoneinutica]

If I had a harem, I'd dress the gals in fine linen.

And "Japslapper" would be my eunuch.

-catone
-apologies to Dr. Johnson

[nottu]

[Iraira]

"Forrest Gump" ?

Weren't you the one to say "Natsukashi", after seeing Jurassic Park?

I was thinking more like "Rain Man".

Haven't actually met the GomiGirl, yet, so I'm unable to devise a proper retort. I will stay embarassed until then.

[nottu]

[Iraira]

You're such a smoothie.

She has a boyfriend, though.
and Greji has Ueno Zoo.

[nottu]

[Greji]

Insurmountable for the Iraiara?

Just tell him to piss off Nottu. He's such a loser. I took him to the giraffe cage and he couldn't even get laid there.....

BTW, Iraira you pervert, if you're not busy piercing your navel again, cigar nights' on ....

[Iraira]

Just tell him to piss off Nottu. He's such a loser. I took him to the giraffe cage and he couldn't even get laid there.....

BTW, Iraira you pervert, if you're not busy piercing your navel again, cigar nights' on ....

Giraffes necks provide ample room to leave monkey bites...
Since gf started working in Yokohama, she's made Wednesday as the Official Mid-Week Date Night, so I've been out of cigar-ability recently. My apologies to all. Plus, I'm going to LA next week, and she wants to make sure that I'm in no condition to do anything to any ANA stewardesses....some more saltpeter for you, sir?

[nottu]

[Iraira]

I guess I should have said unmountable rather than insurmountable.

I prefer the expression "detachably attachable".

[Greji]

I prefer the expression "detachably attachable".

Is that like a strap-on dildo?

[Captain Japan]

Is that like a strap-on dildo?

Should you need instruction as to application I suggest checking here.

[Greji]

Should you need instruction as to application I suggest checking here.

Isn't that the picnic you took me too last summer?

[Iraira]

Isn't that the picnic you took me too last summer?

Why wasn't I invited?

My peace offering to Greji:

[Greji]

What more could one want.....?

[japslapper]

Just to update all you fellow FG's about what has happened re the shenanigans of my last visit to Japan and the multitude of supposedly pregnant ladies I left behind:

I originally thought all 3 were pregnant. Turned out 2 definitely were, though one miscarried around the 2nd month (just a very heavy period, apparently) and the 3rd has given birth to a baby girl called "Mami". For those of you who read from the start, that was with the 29, now 30yr old girl from Nagoya. This girl is now married to her bf (Bi-bi-kon as they call it). I not sure what he really thinks, but behaves as if the kid is his.

I met up with the kid and mother yesterday in Nagoya (had a cuddle with the mother, no sex before you all ask) was told the kid is definitely mine, but was made to promise that I would not tell anyone in her circle, family etc. FG forum, OK I guess. Won't tell my folks back home.

Feel relieved, that a) the shit wasn't so deep, b) every one seems happy with the outcome. However, despite not really being ready to settle down myself - do feel a tad gutted that I wont be contributing to this kids upbringing, even if the mother really isn't my type.

This trip I am being much more "careful" and sedate.....