How to contact my ex Japanese wife

[waruta]

How much are you willing to spend to find her?

Sorry so many people here are being so dickish.

I already mentioned an ad in the paper or some online media source as a cheap(ish) way of getting in contact, but they didn't want to pay that much...so as to a PI, I can only assume it will run into the tens of thousands of yen to even begin...

What would be the most unobtrusive way of getting in contact? Because that's what I would recommend. I parted ways with a girl 'bout 13 years ago, it was amicable but I don't expect she would want me to just pop by unannounced or track her down a la Bounty Hunter style.

Also, now she probably has had a heads-up from her parents about you wanting to get back in touch (your phone call), but since she hasn't tried to contact you from her end, I guess there's your answer.

[FG Lurker]

Also, now she probably has had a heads-up from her parents about you wanting to get back in touch (your phone call), but since she hasn't tried to contact you from her end, I guess there's your answer.

The parents don't want them to be in contact (they wouldn't pass his number to her) so I'd say it's quite likely they didn't mention anything at all to her about his call.

[TennoChinko]

I am surprised that no one has suggested this already but why not just use some old-fashioned 'technology' and send a frigging letter? Yes - it is an almost forgotten primitive art that includes putting written or typed words onto paper...

You (the OP) indicated you had the parent's phone number, so either you also have their address or it should not be too difficult to find.

Sit yourself down and write down carefully whatever heartfelt sentiments you have been dying to tell your ex-wife.

Make certain to include your contact information, seal it in an envelope and send it to her parents.

It's not 100% foolproof, but there is a good probability they will pass it on to their daughter. And, whether she decides to call you back or not, you will have gotten your message to her.

And, with that, have a Merry Christmas.

[FG Lurker]

I am surprised that no one has suggested this already but why not just use some old-fashioned 'technology' and send a frigging letter? Yes - it is an almost forgotten primitive art that includes putting written or typed words onto paper...

That's not a bad idea, but he should send it as a registered letter that his ex-wife needs to sign for. Otherwise the parents will quite likely toss it and not tell her about it.

[james]

That's not a bad idea, but he should send it as a registered letter that his ex-wife needs to sign for. Otherwise the parents will quite likely toss it and not tell her about it.

can you do that though? my impression, at least here in inaka, is that anyone in the household can sign for a letter / parcel. so the 'rents could just sign fit it then toss it, no?

edit: assuming she's living with them

[FG Lurker]

can you do that though? my impression, at least here in inaka, is that anyone in the household can sign for a letter / parcel. so the 'rents could just sign fit it then toss it, no?

edit: assuming she's living with them

There are different types of registered mail. I believe that one of them requires the recipient to sign in person and show ID. No idea if this can be done internationally or if it is a domestic-only thing. Also don't know what happens if she doesn't live there, something that seems pretty likely. Redirection of such a letter seems unlikely so I guess it would just get returned to sender.

The OP really needs to pony up for a PI if he is serious about finding her. As he knows where her parents live and has their phone number a decent PI could probably track her down without too much trouble.

[Iraira]

I really don't get this whole thing. Sure there may be some regret over the one that got away, or curiosity in seeing what road(s) the ex walked down following the break-up. Hell, that's what Facebook, etc., are for (in addition to trolling for future stuff), but even then, you find that everyone pretty much moved on. It almost sounds like the person that wants to go to their high school reunion to get some sort of payback to all those who wrong him/her back in high school.
Solace and recovery from a broken heart is in the next person you start dating. Focus on that. Take from the past the lessons of what that relationship was (the good and the bad, and the horrendously ugly), and use it to help you avoid the same mistakes in the next (or current) relationship.

[Bucky]

The OP seems to be casting a wide net. Just doing a search on the wife's name comes up with other postings he as done in he quest.

here and
here

And a Flickr post

Did she go to college? Did you try looking through the alumni website?

[Typhoon]

The OP really needs to pony up for a PI if he is serious about finding her. As he knows where her parents live and has their phone number a decent PI could probably track her down without too much trouble.

Exactly. Sums up what is required.

Although the troubling question remains why he would want to contact her after all this time? Especially given that she has not contacted him.

[Christoff]

The OP seems to be casting a wide net. Just doing a search on the wife's name comes up with other postings he as done in he quest.

here and
here

And a Flickr post

Did she go to college? Did you try looking through the alumni website?

jesus christ, stalk much?...

[Cyka UchuuJin]

I really don't get this whole thing. Sure there may be some regret over the one that got away, or curiosity in seeing what road(s) the ex walked down following the break-up. Hell, that's what Facebook, etc., are for (in addition to trolling for future stuff), but even then, you find that everyone pretty much moved on. It almost sounds like the person that wants to go to their high school reunion to get some sort of payback to all those who wrong him/her back in high school.
Solace and recovery from a broken heart is in the next person you start dating. Focus on that. Take from the past the lessons of what that relationship was (the good and the bad, and the horrendously ugly), and use it to help you avoid the same mistakes in the next (or current) relationship.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Iraira again.

[Cyka UchuuJin]

Hey babe, I'm a bit disappointed that I'm not named on your little list there!

You're just an asshole. Should you advance to troll + asshole, then you find yourself straight to the top of the list. Promise!

[waruta]

jesus christ, stalk much?...

You wanna get serious? Send a GPS equipped cell phone through registered mail and track that shit. Better yet, a simple thin gps emitter should do the trick as well. Not that I'm condoning anything.

Best let sleeping dogs lie (I think GomiGirl said that too)

[IparryU]

You wanna get serious? Send a GPS equipped cell phone through registered mail and track that shit. Better yet, a simple thin gps emitter should do the trick as well. Not that I'm condoning anything.

Best let sleeping dogs lie (I think GomiGirl said that too)

i second this

[Taka-Okami]

You're just an asshole. Should you advance to troll + asshole, then you find yourself straight to the top of the list. Promise!

[halfnip]

Goddam. My first time back here in a while and this thread pretty much sums it up.

[ChrisRose]

I have a brilliant plan.

I intend to commit Hari-kiri in Tokyo later this year. It will be my way of clearing my honour.

If anyone here wants to give em a farewell drink, I will accept.

Chris (A fucked up Gajin)

[Mike Oxlong]

I'm guessing there's a full moon out...

[cstaylor]

What is it with springtime and the suicide rate?

[waruta]

What is it with springtime and the suicide rate?

Spring foward? (into the afterlife?)

[matsuki]

At lease make it useful and take out the Tepco pres. or blinky.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Be sure to video tape it for us.

[Mike Oxlong]

He's gonna have to work hard to top Budd Dwyer.

Definitely NSFW.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

He's gonna have to work hard to top Budd Dwyer.

Definitely NSFW.

Crickey! I thought Budd Dwyer was an American beverage until I discovered Mixe Oxlong...

[American Oyaji]

He's gonna have to work hard to top Budd Dwyer.

Definitely NSFW.

I remember seeing that on the day it happened. I don't know why, but I was home during the day and saw it on TV.

[Greji]

I intend to commit Hari-kiri in Tokyo later this year. It will be my way of clearing my honour.

Sorry, but you're a 100 years or so, too late. Nobody does that anymore...
If you do, you will get arrested for violating the Firearms and Swords Law, which will really mess up the timing for your autopsy. That'll really ruin your honour...