Do Married Japanese Women Work?

[maraboutslim]

Shibuya Me, (and even GomiGirl), I think your opinions are good ones but I think they will change if you ever get married and have kids. You won't care so much that your wife or yourself are contributing to the world and helping people. You will realize that your first job, the one that is most important to you and to the world, is that you properly raise and educate your children.

You won't view a stay-at-home wife as someone who picks up after her husband. Most married couples have children: You'll view a stay-at-home wife as someone who loves her kids too much to allow them to be raised by strangers at the day care center or hoikuen or yochien or whatever. I am self-employed and am at home most of the time as well. Trust me, it makes a huge difference in the kids' lives (and the parents lives).

As the kids get older and spend more time in school and are more independent, then parent should feel free to get back to their own lives. But until then, the best thing they can do for their kids, themselves, and society, is to spend as much time possible with their kids.

-Slim

[skyline1080]

blaaaaaaaaaah.... just had to say something in this conversation seeing that everything that can be possiblly said was said

[GomiGirl]

My mother always worked (as did my Dad) and I turned OK. The house was always clean and we all shared the chores - equally.

Also we are all still really close.

My parents have moved to Japan to be closer to my brother and I. We have a ritual Sunday night dinner every week that my father always cooks. He has always done more cooking than my mother as he enjoyed it more and is a fantastic cook.

So when you say strike a balance between being a mother and working - from my point of view it is a family decision.

I guess the reason why I have never settled down yet is that still most people expect that having ovaries means that you are responsible for ALL of the chores and the child-rearing - that is just not me. I am not a nag and really most of the guys I have dated really want somebody to help them even decide what tie to put on in the morning and to really nag them.. I am not really that maternal - I really need to be challenged by somebody who is sure of himself.

Perhaps I am just dating the wrong sort of guys???

[maraboutslim]

I guess the reason why I have never settled down yet is that still most people expect that having ovaries means that you are responsible for ALL of the chores and the child-rearing - that is just not me.

I don't think "most people" expect that, and besides, it doesn't matter what "most people" expect. It only matters that you find one person that agrees with your view. Certainly that person exists and certainly in enough numbers that finding them is not impossible or even difficult and therefore I'm not sure it's fair to blame the world for your lack of settling down. I suspect it is you that isn't ready to have kids, or perhaps you just don't want them. That's 100% fine. But be honest about it and don't blame society. "Oh, I would have gotten married and had kids but everyone would have expected me to quit working and raise them alone." Uh, really? Is that it, huh?

I am not a nag and really most of the guys I have dated really want somebody to help them even decide what tie to put on in the morning and to really nag them.. I am not really that maternal - I really need to be challenged by somebody who is sure of himself.

Perhaps I am just dating the wrong sort of guys???

Yep, certainly the wrong sort of guys! The fact that they need to wear a tie in the morning in the first place is the first clue! Of course they aren't sure of themselves! However, I suspect someone like you would get along famously with someone like me. I've already gone down that road with someone else but there have got to be more men like me. Not that you "need" a man or anything. God knows most of us are more trouble than we're worth. But if you wanted one... I hope you can find a good one.

-Slim

[GomiGirl]

I guess the reason why I have never settled down yet is that still most people expect that having ovaries means that you are responsible for ALL of the chores and the child-rearing - that is just not me.

I don't think "most people" expect that, and besides, it doesn't matter what "most people" expect. It only matters that you find one person that agrees with your view. Certainly that person exists and certainly in enough numbers that finding them is not impossible or even difficult and therefore I'm not sure it's fair to blame the world for your lack of settling down. I suspect it is you that isn't ready to have kids, or perhaps you just don't want them. That's 100% fine.

Sorry I meant to say - most guys I have seriously dated..

I think I do want kids one day - I think that at least I shouldn't rule it out because one day I may regret it. But it is not something I want to do on my own. I know there are a heap of great single parents out there - but I had such a great childhood with my parents that I wouldn't want to deprive a child of that.

[Shibuya Me]

Music to my ears.. I knew guys like you were out there..

GG, don't be fooled. Guys who sing this tune are just on a cover-up and usually they have the most to hide.

P.S. Work really does suck.

AssKissinger,

Well. Again, as always....you are wrong.

I wrote what I feel and I am not hiding anything! You do not know me and so how can you say that I am hiding what I really feel?

You try to dis credit me by saying that, but you are very much wrong. :P

Just becasue a women can have babies, does not mean they have to stay home and clean up after guys like you.

Put a lable on this line of thought. I think you AssKissinger fear a strong women!

A women with brains! :P

A women who may be smarter than you! :P

A women who can do something you can not!

No AssKissinger......I value women. I love to make love a women who has a great personality, body, mind, and soul. :P

Am I different than you Ass-K?

I think I am.

A women is more than a baby factory and maid service.

Or maybe ASS-K merely thinks women are good for only one thing?

Sorry Ass-K....I mean no disrepect for calling you Ass-K...but your name is too long. Your brain...short.

Short on thinking with more than your Mr. Happy!

P.S. Work sucks if what you are doing is low level work. But hey...maybe that is why you think work sucks.....?

I love to work! Work is what we are here on Earth to do! Help each other thru work....right?

Lazy Ass-K....I hope you can find work that you like. Work that does not suck. Then you will understand that in work do you find yourself.

Did you know in Heaven even God has a job for you?!

[AssKissinger]

Well. Again, as always....you are wrong

You're right.

Just becasue a women can have babies, does not mean they have to stay home and clean up after guys like you.

My wife and I don't want kids and she works. I told her if she doesn't want the stress it's ok by me if we live on my income alone but if she wants to work that's cool too. We use her income for going out to eat and to buy her new outfits and stuff. To her it's worth it but she takes a lot of time off as well. If you saw our apartment you'd know she doesn't clean much. She is a good cook and for that I'm grateful but I cook about half my meals for myself. She declines my cooking with good reason except for tacos a couple times every month.

Put a lable on this line of thought. I think you AssKissinger fear a strong women!

A women with brains!

A women who may be smarter than you!

A women who can do something you can not!

My wife has brains, she's smarter than me and she could do many things I can't.

Short on thinking with more than your Mr. Happy!

I don't call him Mr. Happy. I call him Luckie Chuckie. He used to be the boss but since I got married he has a new rule. He only dips into my wife. He loves porn, however.

Work is what we are here on Earth to do!

Well, different strokes for different folks. Untill I find a job I can do butt naked while drinking bourbon in a Lazy-Boy I doubt I'll change my mind.

Did you know in Heaven even God has a job for you?!

No, I didn't know that.

By the way, sorry for attacking your post. I'm just jealous cause GG ignores me. How 'bout a truce my brother?

[Taro Toporific]

Work is what we are here on Earth to do!

Well, different strokes for different folks. Until I find a job I can do butt naked while drinking bourbon in a Lazy-Boy.

Dang, that sounds like my job. Ahhhhh, the joys of being a pre-Bubble hire in braindead Japan Inc.

[Big Booger]

You'd be surprised at how many women would love to stay home if their husbands could make enough to support both families. These days, single income families are becoming extinct.

The reason: Women went to work, devaluing (sp?) men's dollar per hour..

thus these days women have to work, married or not, to support the family... Unless the hubby is a professional. Moons ago, a blue collar worker could support the family. These days that is becoming more and more of a challenge.

I am not saying women working is a negative thing. Personally I wished my wife would work and I could stay home and play house. I would do it in a heartbeat.

[AssKissinger]

I'm not the only one who thinks work sucks.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030827/ap_on_re_us/workplace_shootings_list_1

[Shibuya Me]

Mr. AssKissinger,

I must also say that I am sorry
for the attacks.

GomiGirl seems to take your
comments to heart...so I would not
worry about her. She seems to take
your comments as thoughtful and in
trying to protect her....

I strongly think she has a thing for you!

( Dont get angry at me GomiGirl...just trying
to mend a fence here....)

From reading everyones posts...I see we
are all in the same boat!

Why do you stay here AssKissinger?

Where are you from?

Are you a teacher?

You seem to be a nice enough guy to allow your
wife to stay home whilst you work for the both
of you....thats a wonderful thing to do! :P

Are you enjoying Japan?

Please let me know. I want to learn more about you
as I am sure does GomiGirl.

( maybe....? )

Are you out there GomiGirl?

[Shibuya Me]

maraboutslim,

I totally agree with you.

I was only speaking of couples with no kids.

When you have kids, that is another ball park!

I am not in that game yet and I salute you for
taking that road. :P

I am less of a man because of guys like you!

Kids do mean more than being selfish as I am!

My regards!

[Shibuya Me]

I said....

To be a house wife is a goal?

To clean up after a guy is a goal?

To be a slave to the hubby is a goal?



I humbly retract this statement for those who have kids.

I should have said, this is what I think should a couple not have kids.

Thank you for giving me this opportunity to apologize...

However, I do not think that work sucks and I asked many friends how they thought about work. They agree that they work due to passion.

I work becasue of passion. I dont care if I pay my bills or not! Look..I working in Japan as a damn teacher! Think I get paid big bucks?

[omae mona]

Shibuya me -

I just got my ADSL bill, and there was a 700 yen charge labeled "excess downloading of smileys". Can you cut it out? No, but seriously, though, how do you decide which smiley to use on each line? Are you experiencing a lot of mood swings?

I will attempt to say this without using emoticons, but really, I am just kidding.

[Shibuya Me]

That's funny...

Welp. I am on a DSL line at work and I can take my time and have as much fun as I want while placing as many smiles on my threads....

Although, I agree. Maybe toooooooooooo much?

[Kurofune]

I guarantee you that you will not have a better life than in Japan in your home country. Foreign guys in Japan have a great life...

Yeah, Japanese women don't have their own games.