Turning 30. An Introspection.

[American Oyaji]

I will become 30 years old on Friday.

I've completed 3 decades of life on this planet. God willing, I'll have 5 more.

But I will die one day. Everyone dies. Its all a matter of WHEN will I die.

I have to get serious about life now.

[jim katta]

yeah man, 30 can be scary at first. then, once you realize (shit, I made it this far, maybe I'm doing something right), confidence builds. my 30th was nothing, it was 31 that hit me like a ton of bricks. I was like, 'oh shit, kids can now legitimately call me old. I'm officially an adult. blah, blah.' but now I realize how young your 30s really is, and damned if I'm not acting like a young chap once again. the party is just beginning dude!

[Caustic Saint]

I will become 30 years old on Friday.
I've completed 3 decades of life on this planet. God willing, I'll have 5 more.
But I will die one day. Everyone dies. Its all a matter of WHEN will I die.
I have to get serious about life now.

Only 5 more decades? You should aim higher, AO. Who's to say you have to live by the standard life expectancy charts? I plan on liiving far beyond any gov't approved standards.

And whatever you do, do not get serious about anything! That's what makes you old before your time. Live your life, enjoy it and never stop having fun - that's the key to immortality.

[ramchop]

yeah man, 30 can be scary at first. then, once you realize (shit, I made it this far, maybe I'm doing something right), confidence builds. my 30th was nothing, it was 31 that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Honestly it hasn't bothered me. The closest thing to thinking "I'm getting old" occurred here (honestly) not too long ago.

- First response to Shibuya Me stating he was 38 was, "Shit I thought he was more like 18!"
- 2nd response, "How can someone so old be so totally devoid of cynicism" (not good or bad, just different)
- final realisation (ton of bricks time) "SHIT, that's not much older than I am"

[American Oyaji]

Caustic, I don't think I'll SEE 80. I hope I'll be on the other side of eternity by then. God only knows.

But there are some childish habits I must stop. Just because.

[Caustic Saint]

But there are some childish habits I must stop. Just because.

A girlfriend once told me, "Childlike is endearing, childish isn't."

I see her point, but childish is generally more fun.

[Big Booger]

Have you ever put much thought into the death process. I'm 25 and think on it constantly. I think perhaps my death and aging course in college set me really onto this subject. Especially considering in that course we had older people in their 70's and 80's come in and discuss their thoughts. Some were Christian, some muslim, others atheist.

I often think about the reason for memories and how death and memory could be related. I wonder about the possibilities, of death. Are we going to "heaven", will we be reincarnated, will we be "ghost like", will we change our existence like in terms of become different forms of energy like blending with the cosmos.

I wonder what it will feel like to feel my heart stop, to hear those last 20 seconds in my mind.. to watch the light disappear from my consciousness...

And then comes the thoughts of remembrance. Will I be remembered? If so for how long. What have I done that has warranted the gift of life? Was I special..

Many other thoughts come to mind.. will I die first before my wife or children? Will I see them right before I die.

I have many other thoughts about death.. many questions and very view answers. And I know death is a taboo conversation. I've tried to discuss it in a group, but most people tell me it is a morbid topic, and that I shouldn't talk about it with them..

[Alcazar]

I often think about the reason for memories and how death and memory could be related. I wonder about the possibilities, of death. Are we going to "heaven", will we be reincarnated, will we be "ghost like", will we change our existence like in terms of become different forms of energy like blending with the cosmos.

I wonder what it will feel like to feel my heart stop, to hear those last 20 seconds in my mind.. to watch the light disappear from my consciousness...

Well I have heard the quote that 'death is always a surprise', so maybe you won't have time for all the contemplation and self misery (fear), which is probably good. Have you ever been sedated or been under general anesthetic for surgery? Ever fainted? Dying is probably like that. Quick and over with before you really even have time to think about what is happening.

Happy Birthday to American Oyaji for Friday, your 30th is a special birthday!

[cliffy]

I always think of myself as old enough to know better but still young enough not to care. Read into that what you will but I see it as having fun without harming anyone. ENJOY living!!!

[Big Booger]

Even if it is quick, not saying that it will be, could be a long drawn out process, the question still remains what will if feel like. If it is quick, you'll still feel it thought the experience would be quicker.

I often think if it will be like when I am on the verge of sleep.. the eyelids close, and black...

I have been under as a kid.. don't remember it well enough.. it's the after-life, if there is such a thing that I contemplate more than the act of death itself.

[Alcazar]

I have been under as a kid.. don't remember it well enough.. it's the after-life, if there is such a thing that I contemplate more than the act of death itself.

Psst, I'll share with you a secret...there is no afterlife.....

People have wanted to believe in the existence of an 'afterlife' since the dawn of time. It is a natural response to a real fear-their own death, and also not wanting to accept that others who have died are gone forever, and do not live on 'somewhere else'. I guess it is a harmless enough belief, except when primitives blow up others in order to reach their anticipated 'afterlife' quicker.

Don't fret over the 'afterlife' question, it is only a question that worries the living, if you get what I mean. Just enjoy your life now, seriously, once it's over, you won't know or care about a damn thing.

[Big Booger]

There is no way to tell.. that is the problem. I and you can contemplate till we are blue in the face, but the definitive answer will only come at the critical point. The thing is I see these shows about people who were dead and came back to life.

They didn't have a pulse, they were literally declared dead, but came back to life after a time. One was even sent to the morgue where he came back.... eww, and they discussed what they remembered/experienced...

Now those people, if they can be believed, really make one think. One guy described being in hell, and the experiences he had.. and he was wondering why he was in hell, what had he done and so on...

[Alcazar]

Now those people, if they can be believed, really make one think. One guy described being in hell, and the experiences he had.. and he was wondering why he was in hell, what had he done and so on...

I can see how that could concern someone!!

It comes back to playing on people's fears. The concept of hell is a religious one, an idea you can use as leverage on the fearful living to get people to live the way you want them to live when they are alive. Religions had to invent ideas such as 'heaven', '72 virgins' etc to offer as rewards, when the fear of death wasn't enough to get followers. Then they tried to make death 'worse' by creating ideas such as punishment for not believing.

Just remember, there are people on those shows who want attention, just as there are people who will swear they were kidnapped by aliens etc. Getting attention by declaring a benign experience is more palatable for many than baring all on Jerry Springer etc.

Also realise that just people really wanting to believe in these experiences is a huge help-they are already half way there to convincing themselves.

In the situation of being dead and coming back they may have had a dream (brain is still active) and convinced themselves it was something more, especially in the circumstances of 'Gee, I could have died, it that all there is? Wait! I recall something....'.

And if they do believe in that stuff, well that is good for them because it makes them feel at ease.

But then again, something happened to me once. When I went to New York and went on a ferry trip around Manhattan Island, I saw Ellis Island. When I saw the Island, I felt convinced that I had been there before. I couldn't explain it, and I am not one to belief in trippy things either. That sometimes makes me think.

[Big Booger]

The whole point of not knowing is what keeps me wondering about it. You never know the concept of death until you experience it and then it is too late.

[AssKissinger]

Here's a quote about a near death experience where the person claims to have gone to hell:

When my spirit began to leave my body I began to go down into a very deep pit. It is difficult to describe; it was very black and misty and yet there was no beginning, no sides, I just knew I was in a pit. I kept closing my eyes and hoping that when I opened them it would all be a bad dream, but nothing changed. It is impossible to describe the fear I felt. I was desperate to get out, and when I saw what I thought was a small opening I began to claw desperately. But the more I tried to get to this opening the more distant it became. It was an impossible situation.

All around there were ordinary people, and they were in such pain and despair. They seemed to be tormented by an enormous amount of guilt, which was reflected in their faces. It is difficult to describe the depth of despair that was present in that place. If you could put all the pain, all the hurt and despair in the world together, that was what I sensed in that place, and I was more aware of the strength of this than I was of the people.

In the darkness I became aware of an even more evil presence than I had already felt and there, high above anything, was this creature I just know was Satan. I didn't know what to do because this wasn't just a dream, this was reality. In my terror I screamed

Thanks for the interesting thoughts BB. Have you read Dante?

[Alcazar]

AssKissinger, from your given location, I am guessing you are in Hiroshima? That is cheeky! 'Think: Boom: First One'.

[Big Booger]

Here's a quote about a near death experience where the person claims to have gone to hell:

When my spirit began to leave my body I began to go down into a very deep pit. It is difficult to describe]

Thanks for the interesting thoughts BB. Have you read Dante?

Strange you ask, a friend gave me this link:

http://www.tonykline.free-online.co.uk/Danthome.htm

I was just getting started on Dante. I had read some of the Inferno in a College Lit course, but never really got my feet wet.

I suppose I will now.

[tidbits]

I wonder what it will feel like to feel my heart stop, to hear those last 20 seconds in my mind.. to watch the light disappear from my consciousness...

I don't know what happen after death, but if you know that you are going to die soon, in your last few minutes or seconds, no doubt that will be your loneliest moment in your whole life, even if you are surrounded by all your loved ones, and no matter how much they have loved you and understand you before, they will not understand your feeling for that moment, that you are leaving all alone, forever.

[American Oyaji]

Well. I don't think death is something you don't know is coming if you are old. I think old people finally decide to leave this existence.

I believe in life after "death", heaven and hell. I also believe that this world is NOT an act of Chaos. It's literally impossible for an explosion to create life. But if an explosion DID create life, someone set it up so that it would happen that way. Anyway, I'm not worried about death at all.

I worry about my manner of death. I'd rather be old and grey on my bed surrounded by my family like Abraham was than die any other way.

Or to die in my sleep. That would be OK. I don't want to drown, burn or get gut shot and die slowly.

[Big Booger]

I think to fear or at least wonder about death is natural. But how many of you have had a conversation with a group of people outside of church or school, about death? Like I said before I tried it and was told to shut up... that it was morbid.

Deaht is one of the greatest mysteries yet we all have to experience it. Along with death I think often of cryogenics and bringing someone back after our technology has improved. Do you think it will be possible?

[Steve Bildermann]

I don't want to drown, burn or get gut shot and die slowly.

Sadly, most of the time, you don't get a choice.

[ramchop]

I think to fear or at least wonder about death is natural. But how many of you have had a conversation with a group of people outside of church or school, about death? Like I said before I tried it and was told to shut up... that it was morbid.

When I was a typicaly self-absorbed teenager I used to ponder about my own death. Now I'm more terrified of death of my children, I barely worry about my own life (except in a "who'll look after them?" kind of way). Funny how your perspective changes.

[Big Booger]

I think to fear or at least wonder about death is natural. But how many of you have had a conversation with a group of people outside of church or school, about death? Like I said before I tried it and was told to shut up... that it was morbid.

When I was a typicaly self-absorbed teenager I used to ponder about my own death. Now I'm more terrified of death of my children, I barely worry about my own life (except in a "who'll look after them?" kind of way). Funny how your perspective changes.

Yeah I can imagine once children enter the equation, your prespective changes from an internalized view to an externalized. But I think you also have to consider your own death, especially in later life after your children have grown and are gone from the nest.

I think death-think has stages and each stage is marked by your current situation. The question is when does thinking of death become unhealthy? I personally think about it at least once or twice a day.. usually right before I go to sleep. I can hear my heart beating and I think, how many more times will it beat until it stops, jokingly, I try to slow my heart rhythm down, so as to prolong life.. LOL Try it some time, when you are laying down, control your breathing and slow your heart rate. You can nearly get it to where it will stop.. if you try to very hard.. or at least it feels that way.

And the funny thing is when I think about death at night, I realize that sleeping is as near to death as I ever want to be. I want to live forever, of course I won't, but it is a hope that I will have until I die. If I make it rich, I'm going to request to be cryogenically frozen. I want to know that I tried everything possible to make sure I can live the longest and most fruitful life possible.

But at last there is no gurantee, but one, and that is you will die.

[ramchop]

But at last there is no gurantee, but one, and that is you will die.

And for me it'll be at age 82, that's what a fortune teller in Bangkok told me 7 or 8 years ago. He's scored a few correct predictions so far, pity that by the time I reach 82 it'll probably be below average life expectancy in the western world. Never liked being below average.

[Shibuya Me]

I never think of death. Is that strange?

[Big Booger]

:?

I never think of death. Is that strange?

I don't think it is strange, I think at some point you will be confronted with the mortality of life, and when that happens, if ever, you will be confronted with the thoughts and feelings associated with death. Whether it be through personal experience like in your child or close family member dies, you experience a near death sensation, or some other situation that forces you to come to think about death.

I don't remember well the first time I thought about it, but I know after the course on death and aging my whole outlook on life changed. I thought about things that perhaps people my age never consider after experiencing what those older people had to say. Some of them were accepting of death, others were not, some were living by the seat of their pants taking one day at a time. There outlooks varied, but they all thought about death as they knew their days were limited. Perhaps it is great that I got to hear it. I know now more than I did before I took the course.

But what I know is only a percentage of what will be felt when, if I ever, reach their age.

[GomiGirl]

As a dyed-in-the-wool existentialist, of course I have contemplated life, death and the universe, but realise that it is all a load of bollocks and there is no rhyme or reason to anything.. so we just have to make the best of it, do things that make you happy, be responsible for your actions and the consequences of those actions.

Cos at the end.. well it is like Taro's explaination of the TV switching off... fading to black.

[jim katta]

I've seen a man with his brains on the floor of the 6 train subway, I've seen a woman hit at full speed by a car in the west village, I've seen a few other things. never thought about death until I had to enter the hospital once for food poisoning. I really thought I was going to die. since then, I've lived life very intensely and followed my dreams, and I'm glad for it. don't want to die, but if I checked out today, I'd know that I kicked much ass in my time. still want to kick some more ass (figuratively/professionally).

[tidbits]

I was in the middle of the sea alone, no life jacket, couldn't swim back, a leg cramp could strike anytime as it was cold. There wasn't even fear anymore, I just felt so lonely, my loneliest moment in my life so far. I didn't struggle, just float there, the loneliness that I don't know how to describe, close to the feeling of peace I think. Thats why I said if you know you are going to die soon, but still have the last few minutes or seconds of consciousness, that will be your loneliest moment.

[Shibuya Me]

Big Booger Wrote....

"I don't think it is strange, I think at some point you will be confronted with the mortality of life, and when that happens, if ever, you will be confronted with the thoughts and feelings associated with death. Whether it be through personal experience like in your child or close family member dies, you experience a near death sensation, or some other situation that forces you to come to think about death. "


Shibuya me wrote...

I agree 100%. However my mother died when I was 13 years old. My sister and I found her. I try to live. And while living, I dont think death should NOT be pondered...thats for God who is on the other side waiting.

Once dead...you are food for worms and even then...you will wish you were alive to taste food, hear music, travel to Japan! Well, maybe you wont wish it. You are dead. But I think right before you die..if you know you will die..you will want a cheese pizza one more time.....

I dont know. I rather live the life God gave me and leave death to himher......

I guess I fear death. It is so final. I wish pizza wasn't so fattening!