Child Abduction Issue Explodes

[Mulboyne]

Japan isn't trying to change the terms of the Hague convention. To become a signatory, however, you need to pass domestic legislation to recognize it. It's this legislation which determines how a country intends to apply the convention and that's where the caveats can be introduced.

You don't get kicked out as a signatory to a convention but other countries can declare you to be not complying. The US State Department decided Switzerland was showing patterns of non-compliance. There's little you can do in such circumstances. If a country signs a convention but doesn't abide by it, then the only courses of action are to treat them as if they are a non-signatory or urge them to improve compliance.

I've drawn attention to Japan's compliance with the OECD Convention on Combatting Bribery of Public Officials in International Business Transactions already here on FG.

[Mulboyne]

[Mulboyne]

[Samurai_Jerk]

In international marriages, married life is harder than in Japan. Women suffer more discrimination and violence than here. It's not just the foreign husbands, their parents can be just as tough. Some of the things they say to the wives are cruel.

That really is an outrageous claim.

A guy I know had a Japanese coworked who was allegedly being stalked by her estranged gaijin ex-husband who still lived in Japan. He definitely did some things that were over the top and everyone including me thought he was a psycho. He kept saying he just wanted to see his kid.

Now that I know what the situation is like in Japan (I had no idea at the time) I wonder if he wasn't just a father desperate to see his child who didn't see any other option. Very sad.

[Mock Cockpit]

I think that woman is my mother in law. Spiel is disturbingly similar.

[matsuki]

[color="Red"]In international marriages, married life is harder than in Japan. Women suffer more discrimination and violence than here. It's not just the foreign husbands, their parents can be just as tough. Some of the things they say to the wives are cruel. [/color]

Ehhh, anyone in her line of work should know how much domestic violence goes on here. Seems like I hear about it from everyone and the best part is TIJ, the cops never get involved in these kinds of situations. In the US, it's far from unheard of but not nearly as common and the husband that gets accused will be arrested if wifey wants to press charges. (which won't ever happen here unless he's FG) Foreign in-laws tough? Bwaahahahahaha! Discrimination?!! ROTFLMAO!!! Suuuure, married life outside Japan in countries like the US and Canada where people get paid reasonable wages and the cost of living is reasonable must make married life much harder...

I don't doubt that some Japanese wives find themselves in a right fix when they move overseas. We all know some fairly dysfunctional characters who hook up with Japanese women and some of these relationships go badly wrong. However, it's astounding to see a blanket claim like that.

THIS...but we see these weirdos in Japan as well. You can't protect dumb women from marrying and making babies with foreign idiots. If we want to make blanket statements, what was the percentage of international marriages that are even J-women with foreign men? Last I checked, it was greatly outdone by all the J-men marrying foreign womens...

[Mulboyne]

I just think she's guilty of tunnel vision. Her constituency is Japanese wives. She'd probably be happy to advise foreign wives having problems with Japanese husbands in Japan and I'm sure she would acknowledge domestic violence in such relationships. I just don't see many foreign wives looking to use her service.

Given that, she looks at something like Hague solely through the prism of what it might mean for Japanese wives. I'm sure she's come across some horror stories at home and her sympathies are bound to be with women she regards as mostly disadvantaged financially and legally. It's easy to see how she might think Japanese wives with marriage problems overseas would face greater problems than those at home because she pictures them as isolated and ignored by the local institutions.

The problem I see is that it isn't clear how she would doubt the credibility of any Japanese wife who told her a story of abuse. The police in Canada may well have been too quick to dismiss an accusation of domestic violence but what if they weren't? How would she know? In the American example she gave, there was no attempt to involve any local authorities at all.

That brings up one of the problems I have in general with some of the discussions about Hague. If your working assumption is that no Japanese national can expect fairness from overseas institutions then it's obvious why you would object to ratifying Hague. It's a pretty damning judgement on the rest of the world, however, and not one which anyone has put forward any evidence to support.

I'm sure it must be daunting for an abused wife with poor language skills to make a complaint but you can't relieve them of the responsibility to do that and just approve of them taking the law into their own hands.

I suspect someone like Ikeuchi might feel women have the odds stacked against them so often, that it's worth risking some cases of injustice for fathers and their families if it means all genuine cases of abuse get the right result.

[tidbits]

I don't know excactly what make me  wanting to share this here, maybe it is the recent quakes... But here is a true (and painful) experience from someone, that also take me some courage (and years as you can see) to share here, so please spare me some peace later.

 I know a foreigner who was a divorcee whose ex-wife is a Japanese. They knew each other in Japan but soon they moved to his country after they got married. However, later his ex-wife starting to not like the place there, picking on everything and the biggest change was she turned violent after married, she would hit or starting to  throw objects at him at every quarell. No matter how many times she had apologized, she would lose control again the next time. (she has a dad that hit wife and kids). According to him most of the arguments were mostly about money, even though she was already controlling everything financially! Then one day, she just bought 2 tickets and fleed with their child to Japan, leaving him no choice but to leave his job and followed her to Japan, hoping she would change and feel better or secured at her own country. But then  she didn't change, she was still very violent and finding faults at everything , untill one day she wanted a divorce herself. She allowed only one meeting with their child quite soon after the divorce,  when she also revealed she had married to her own boss, showing the child family name has changed (on the kid's bag/ shoe etc), and of course she didn't allow any contact/meetings at all after that, telling him this is how Japan's system is, and it would be bad for the child's psycology to face the divorced dad etc. ( However she would call up on time if money was not deposited on the scheduled day.)  She even warned him that he should not even go to the kid's kindy/school to see his child from far. 

Of course, I could only hear all these from one side but because I have been married to this man for 10 years now and I can say he is an honest man, and certainly no where near violent in his behaviour, in fact, he is a good father. His family members are all very easy going people too. 

Most unbelievable thing is, a few years ago,  she actually called him up and informing him that she is divorced again and was in some financial difficulties...  

To be fair, I have to say I am not sure I might face some emotional issues if he gets to see his child, no matter how prepared I feel I had. But that is how things usually work from where I come from (shared custody), so I believe I will eventually accept it. Anyway rules here have not changed for ages  I can only say looking at the sitiuation so far- she really hasn't been fair to him, she was the violent one and yet she takes everything, his money and their child.  He doesn't even know what has she told her own parents and her friends about why she wanted the dirvorce,  what kind of stories has she made up. I  certainly hope not blaming him as violent.  I believe there are so many untold stories like this and I can really sympatise those who are missing thier kids so much. 

 I really hope Japanese couples ( or Japanese/gaijin) thinking of divorcing think for the children first and not for their own face and conviniences, tell your kids that although you don't love each other anymore but BOTH of you will always love them (children) and will be there for them.  Isn't that much better for the children's psychology? Kids are stronger, more understanding and more adaptable than we think, if we are totally honest with them with how we feel.      

           

 

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

I suspect legal systems throughout the industrialized world feel women have the odds stacked against them so often, that it's worth risking injustice for fathers and their families if it means all genuine cases of abuse get the right result.

FTFY...

[Samurai_Jerk]

[quote="tidbits"]I don't know excactly what make me  ]

Wow, that's rough. Divorce and death in the family always seem to bring the best out in people.

I guess your husband wanted to make sure his kid had enough money but I don't think he should have kept paying his ex. Especially once she remarried and changed the kid's family name.

[matsuki]

If your working assumption is that no Japanese national can expect fairness from overseas institutions then it's obvious why you would object to ratifying Hague. It's a pretty damning judgement on the rest of the world, however, and not one which anyone has put forward any evidence to support.

I'm sure it must be daunting for an abused wife with poor language skills to make a complaint but you can't relieve them of the responsibility to do that and just approve of them taking the law into their own hands.

THIS

If mistrust for another country's legal system is the issue, don't move there with your children? (LOL, like we all trust the J-legal system)

I guess your husband wanted to make sure his kid had enough money but I don't think he should have kept paying his ex. Especially once she remarried and changed the kid's family name.

Yeah, throwing money at the issue is not going to help one bit with a mama like that. She's probably telling the child it's all her money and your husband is a deadbeat that ran away on them. If he absolutely has to give something, clothing, school supplies, etc. that would actually go to the kid would be great. He could even have "From Papa" written in them.

[tidbits]

She asked the child to call him "uncle" during that last and only meeting! He did sent clothing and stuffs to the child few times but was stopped by her. After a while of no hopes in meeting the child ever again, he also stopped sending money, but she had dig out all his saving from his account right before their divorce.

[matsuki]

She asked the child to call him "uncle" during that last and only meeting! He did sent clothing and stuffs to the child few times but was stopped by her. After a while of no hopes in meeting the child ever again, he also stopped sending money, but she had dig out all his saving from his account right before their divorce.

She sounds like a scam artist, especially with the second divorce after that....

[Mike Oxlong]

Japanese ex-wife arrested in U.S. on accusation of making off with child

A Japanese woman has been arrested in Hawaii on accusations she took her 9-year-old daughter with a Nicaraguan ex-husband back to Japan without permission, it has been learned.

The 43-year-old Japanese mother and her 39-year-old ex-husband, who lives in the United States, have custody disputes over the child ongoing in both Japan and the U.S. The Foreign Ministry says that it is highly unusual for a Japanese national to be arrested abroad during a custody dispute with a foreign ex-partner.

According to legal officials and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the woman married and bore the child in February 2002. She lived in the state of Wisconsin in the U.S., but in February 2008 she returned to Japan with the child. In June 2009 her divorce was finalized, but the father was given custody rights.

The woman went to court in Japan to have the custody rights changed, and in March this year the court awarded them to the woman, giving the father just 30 visitation days a year in the U.S. Both sides immediately appealed the ruling, and the case is now being deliberated at the Osaka High Court.

The woman flew to Honolulu on April 7, 2011 local time to renew her permanent U.S. resident status. However, an arrest warrant for the woman was on issue from Wisconsin authorities for violating the father's custody rights by taking the child to Japan without permission, and the woman was arrested by Hawaii authorities. She remains in custody, and a trial is ongoing in Wisconsin. Prosecutors suggested a plea bargain where she would be given a suspended sentence in exchange for returning the child, who currently lives with the woman's grandparents in Japan, but she has refused and maintains her innocence.

The ex-husband has reportedly said that if the woman will return the child, he does not want her held further, and he wants the child to be able to meet both parents. A lawyer for the woman, however, says that she fears that if she returns the child once, the child will never be able to come back to Japan...

[Christoff]

Japanese ex-wife arrested in U.S. on accusation of making off with child

That is bigger for me, I would have lobbied for the chair or lethal injection.

[gaijinpunch]

, and he wants the child to be able to meet both parents.

This is the problem -- crazy doesn't let the kid see the other parent. Return the kids from Osaka. Leave the bitch locked up w/ the fattest, meanest Samoan in the joint.

[Bucky]

Japanese ex-wife arrested in U.S. on accusation of making off with child

I see the Mainichi article is dated 10/29 but the story says the woman was arrested in April. I am wondering why the lag in this story? Has the woman been in the graybar hotel since April? Where's the kid during this time?

The Japan Times has a little better article:
[quote]. . . the woman was arrested April 7 in Honolulu —]


Apparently she is enjoying some fine Wisconsin hospitality. I am sure she must be enjoying that.

[hanasims]

Please see this report of a father whose children were abducted to Japan. There are thousands of stories like this from all over the world.

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/10/06/iraq-war-vet-says-wife-kidnapped-children-to-japan/

http://abcnews.go.com/International/american-children-abducted-japan-desperate-fathers-contact-children/story?id=12919762

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10762452

[Greji]

There are thousands of stories like this from all over the world.

Ahh, haven't I heard of this somewhere before...

Just a point Hana, please check (or do a search on a topic) forums on these topics, as there might be a group of posts, or even threads already in existence, which you can follow-up on with your post.

Note: This is not to say that your posted subject is not important.....Cheers

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

You're preaching to the converted, dude...good luck to the bloke, but if you want something done, talk to the Japanese, who seem quite happy to continue with their state-sanctioned abductions.

My heart goes out to the dad...and the kids.

[Bucky]

Separated parents can face major problems in gaining access to their children in Japan.

On April 3 last year Alex Kahney's wife, Keiko Ono, took their two daughters, Selene, 9, and Cale, 7, and abruptly moved out of the family home in the Denenchofu, the up-market Tokyo suburb where they had lived for more than seven years.

Naturally Alex, who works as a medical researcher and writer, was worried about getting access to his children, but his wife reassured him it would not be a problem.

"She said to me: 'Don't worry, you will always be able to see them'."

But the following Friday his wife cancelled a camping trip he had arranged to go on with his daughters and after she failed to telephone on the Sunday as promised to arrange a visit with the kids that day, Alex become worried.

He went to the police and asked them to talk to his wife and remind her that he still had legal custody of the children.

The response he got came as a shock.

"A detective told me my wife is within her rights to take the kids wherever she wants and if she doesn't want me to speak to them again that is hard luck.

"And I said: 'Well, in that case I will just go around there and get them back - I'll take them home.'

"Then he started getting angry and said: 'You can't do it - she can'."

source

[matsuki]

He went to the police and asked them to talk to his wife and remind her that he still had legal custody of the children.

The response he got came as a shock.

"A detective told me my wife is within her rights to take the kids wherever she wants and if she doesn't want me to speak to them again that is hard luck.

"And I said: 'Well, in that case I will just go around there and get them back - I'll take them home.'

"Then he started getting angry and said: 'You can't do it - she can'."

The shock was probably more on the officer's side..."A Japanese man would never do such a thing! He would use his new found freedom to go play with girls and find a new gf/wife!!"

Within this context the mother was given custody of the children after divorce in order to give men independence from their former wives.

"Almost all judges think that husbands should forget the past, which includes the day-to-day lives of their children, and proceed to a new life with a free hand."

Yep yep, why drag yourself down with things like children? It's not like they need you or you have a responsibility to them or anything.

Watanabe says that traditionally in Japan the home was seen as a private place and that courts still lack the "will to intervene in affairs of the home".

Same shit I've heard when it comes to domestic violence. (unless you're FG) Beat up an attacker, go to jail. Beat up your wife, police won't bother you.

Has there ever been any highly publicized case where the cut out parent murdered the parent doing the cutting out? I'm sure it's happened before but J-Media coverage is what it is.

[gaijinpunch]

"A detective told me my wife is within her rights to take the kids wherever she wants and if she doesn't want me to speak to them again that is hard luck.

Were they still married? This is where I'm sure the pigs will take her side, but fuck -- if you're still married you're still a parent, and still have your parental rights. I have one guy that will not grant his wife divorce b/c she's typical ex-wife cunt. She told him the same thing, "oh, it's cool.. I'll let you see them.". While they were in proceedings, she moved and didn't tell him the address. He showed up at the mediation and said, "Sorry, I don't want a divorce." Haha. That's probably the only semi-good divorcing a Japanese ho story I've heard.

I know it goes w/o saying, but who the fuck raises the cunt bags? Seriously -- Japan is supposed to be this place with such strong family ties. I know these cases are in the minority, but shit, I think I would recommend to any of my white friends to not marry a local.

[maraboutslim]

There are thousands of stories like this from all over the world.

Thousands?

[Thug4Life]

This is another reason why Japan needs another nuke shoved up its ass.

Oh wait...

[Himokun]

I know these cases are in the minority, but shit, I think I would recommend to any of my white friends to not marry a local.

What about your black or hispanic friends?:cool:

[matsuki]

I need a nuke shoved up my ass.

dems some interesting fetishes out there indeed

[Samurai_Jerk]

This is another reason why Japan needs another nuke shoved up its ass.

Oh wait...

I agree. It's the only way that Japan will learn to be more like China. You know, a respected member of the international community that champions human rights, has a free and open press, cares about the environment, avoids disputes with its neighbors, and treats its citizens with respect and dignitiy.

[hanasims]

Thousands?

My mistake. There are tens of thousands of International children in Japan being denied access to their foreign parent.

Here is an NHK World Special Report about sole custody in Japan and the lack of parental rights for the non-custodial parent and lack of visitation.

Please watch the video. It aired yesterday October 31st.

http://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/english/movie/feature201110312017.html

[Greji]

My mistake. There are tens of thousands of International children in Japan being denied access to their foreign parent.

That seems like a pretty high figure for fgs. You got a source for that?