divorcing japanese national

[yosh1234]

I don't have a ton of money to hire a lawyer so I need some advice. Does anyone have information or any clue how a divorce in Japan works?

This is the story:

My wife left to visit Japan May 2010. She said it was to visit; it has been a year and a half since she left. Obviously, she isn't coming back. I am still legally married to her. She wants a divorce in japan. I don't wanna divorce her because I am afraid of what can happen following the divorce. It's shaky grounds! Meaning I'm still legally married in the states. All my paperwork says we are married so if we divorce how will this change things in America? Will the American government recognize the divorce if we do the consent way? Basically just sign a paper and that's it. All agreements have been made prior to the signing with no legal intervention.

However, my concern is she is very pushy which arrouses my suspicion a whole lote. I told her I will never sign the paper. She said, "f uck you you fu king bi tch." Then she hung up the phone called me back calm and said if you care about the kids please sign the paper. I said dont even bring the kids into it. It's what you want. If you cared for them you would work our marriage out for us and the kids. I am sure she wants to get Japanese welfare but because she is married to me she can not get welfare from her government, according to her. It doesnt sound right to me either but then again EVERYTHING in Japan is completely opposite than America. If I sign the divorce paper I don't have to show up either! Not something I particulary like but I also don't have alot of money to travel back and forth overseas. I did take a trip to Japan May-June of 2011. Yes, just recently!! I was in Japan for 17 days and was allowed the opportunity to see my kids for 4 hours each. I didnt sign my the papers then because Im not sure of wht I wanna do. I am afraid if I sign the divorce papers I will never see my kids again. EVER!!! What do I do? where do I start to move toward the direction of a divorce? should I even divorce her; I know revenge is wrong but it sure is sweet. I don't want to divorce her. She lives with her mother in Japan. I know she hates it. I want her to suffer too. Please dont get on the morals speech. I know morally it isn't right but to me it feels good. The only way I have her per say because I know if I sign those papers, she is gone, and my kids are gone. Forget her! It's my kids I am concerned about. Does anybody have any advice or any idea of what to do?

[Mike Oxlong]

First, start reading...

http://www.crnjapan.com/

[Taka-Okami]

I'm surprised she wants to stay in Japan given the issues with nuclear contamination of food products. My little woman doesnt want to go back even for a short holiday!

[Christoff]

Make her come to the states and sing and pay for the devorce here, take it to court and fight for custody of the kids.

[Dreamy_Peach]

Make her come to the states and sing and pay for the devorce here, take it to court and fight for custody of the kids.

Not sure if applicable but post-divorce in the US, if she takes those kids to Japan, even when he has sole right in the US, what would happen? Would she be able to abduct them, ignoring the US law and then hide behind the Japanese system? Surely once she is in Japan that will be it.

Recently the National Bureau of Asian Research have been having a discussion about the implications of implementing the Hague Convention with regard to the abduction of kids by Japanese women. There's a whole thread on it:

http://nbrforums.nbr.org/foraui/list.aspx?LID=5

This comment in particular succinctly summarises the situation for all men:

http://nbrforums.nbr.org/foraui/message.aspx?LID=5&MID=40332

Even fathers in Japan don't have access to their kids.

I'd be very careful and try and get whatever professional legal advice you can get. I certainly wouldn't sign anything in Japanese that she puts in front of me.

[omae mona]

Not sure if applicable but post-divorce in the US, if she takes those kids to Japan, even when he has sole right in the US, what would happen? Would she be able to abduct them, ignoring the US law and then hide behind the Japanese system? Surely once she is in Japan that will be it.

The way I read the OP's message, she has already abducted the kids and is already in Japan with them.

[IparryU]

The way I read the OP's message, she has already abducted the kids and is already in Japan with them.

quite clear if your read his post...

but if you can get her back in the US to sign the papers, call a lawyer and tell the situation, make sure that she gets flagged by the police for a possible obduction as she is planning to do so once the papers are signed.

chances of this happening... slim to none. but if you have her tied down in the US cort things may go your way years down the road...

you can count all odds against you and losing your kids the most likely senario now so you dont loose your head. keep working, make a blog on ameba (www.ameba.jp/) and write daily about missing your kids, etc.

when the time comes, you can show that blog to your kids and they can read it (Google translate E to J) and realize what a complete bitch their mom is.

when they get older, they will give their mom hell and she will be hating life even more. she cant (wont) get remarried to a Japanese cause she has mutted children, she will get all the single mother benefits, but in the mom groups she will get ragged on cause she married an FG and is now single (despite her story, she will look like a whore), and her kids will end up losing all respect for her and she will realize that she wont have anyone to take care of her when she gets older and will have no money for support.

dont give up

[Samurai_Jerk]

yosh1234,

Try to convince your wife that she needs to visit the US with the kids for you to finalize the divorce since you are married there. Pay for the tickets if you have to to. Once she's there make sure she's not able to leave with them otherwise you run the risk of never seeing them again.

If she won't do it, then don't grant her the divorce under any circurmstances.

[Christoff]

I would also contact the FBI and report them as abducted and have them put a flag on her passport with the TSA so when she comes into the country they will arrest her and you can take custody of the kids.

[gaijinpunch]

0: Call the Feds...open up a child abduction case.
1: Tell her you've done so -- and if she doesn't come back, she'll never be able to come back.
2: Do NOT divorce her in Japan whatsoever if you have children. You *WILL* lose your parental rights 100%. You will be no more than a memory to them.
3: DO NOT divorce anywhere until Japan joins the Hague Convention. Tell her you'll live separately in the US, and that's about it. They are mulling over joining... it will happen, but it may be a few years yet.

Technically, I don't think you can get a divorce in Japan anyway w/o living there for 6 months. If you want to see your kids, tell her to make you a spare room, sort out a spouse visa, go over there and live. When 6 months are up, tell her to go fist herself.

Google around. You're fucked for the most part, but you can at least legally have some right to see your children while you're still married... no matter how big of a cunt she is or how far apart you both live.

[Catoneinutica]

However, my concern is she is very pushy which arrouses my suspicion a whole lote. I told her I will never sign the paper. She said, "f uck you you fu king bi tch."

She called you a "fucking bitch"? There's nothing I can add to IParryU's excellent take on the situation, so I'll confine myself to reiterating what everyone's been saying: don't sign anything! Her desperation shows who's got the upper hand here; don't let her talk you into squandering it away. You're a moron if you do.

[IparryU]

0: Call the Feds...open up a child abduction case.
1: Tell her you've done so -- and if she doesn't come back, she'll never be able to come back.
2: Do NOT divorce her in Japan whatsoever if you have children. You *WILL* lose your parental rights 100%. You will be no more than a memory to them.
3: DO NOT divorce anywhere until Japan joins the Hague Convention. Tell her you'll live separately in the US, and that's about it. They are mulling over joining... it will happen, but it may be a few years yet.

i would skip number 1 completely as this will make her not want to return to the US. Calling the feds is your trump card waiting to play, not get the first book you can get. "supulai-zu!" per se.

If she does get flagged, she will be held in customs and questioned. This will also prevent her from leaving even if she is cleared in court as customs flags for abduction or other crimes don't get pulled that easy/quick. so she will need a paper from the courts declaring that she is clear to exit the country with two children without the presence of their father. if that does go through, she will be lucky.

but she had already been outside the US for over a year and stayed in a cuntry that is resolving a nuclear disaster... so in the court's eyes she would deem as abducting rather than "visiting" her home cuntry.

keep in mind, if she dont return to the US, your chances are zilch... as SJ (Samurai Jerk) said, get her to come back, pay for everything of course, and get it done in the US with the courts ruling a joint custody and aware that she has already took the children away from you for over a year and that she will attempt to do the same thing again.

[gaijinpunch]

My #1 was to be used as a threat to come back. Nobody's going to blame you for giving her a solid donkey punch in the case she does come back, either.

[Christoff]

I would definitely call the feds first, they will likely tell you to invite her to the paper singing in the state. IF you want to get your kids back don't fuck around, act like your life with your kids depends on it, as it does.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Unfortunately, having lived apart for 18 months without having already taken action, you are fucked, whether in Japan or the U.S., as far as I know of family law in the U.S.
* Do not sign anything, anywhere.
* Do not go near the Japanese legal system if you ever want to have regular contact with your children again while they are still minors. You will not get a fair hearing at any stage. From what I know of U.S. law, you're fucked there, too, for not being around your kids, regardless of the reason. A U.S. court will, however, grant joint custody and decent visitation rites, and U.S. law enforcers will be much tighter in ensuring these are upheld than their Japanese counterparts, who will not intervene except in cases where the Criminal Code has already been violated.
* Get an aggressiive ambulance-chasing lawyer from the U.S. now. It's not a matter of money. These people are cunts and advertise everywhere that they will pursue cases for a portion of winnings with little/no initial outlay. But if your missus is trying to get on welfare in Japan, you're doubly fucked. Still, you need an unscrupulous, vicious, evil cunt on your side. Even then, you're still likely to be fucked, so brace yourself. Unless, of course, your blood-sucking cunt has got the balls to sue the Japanese government on your behalf for not signing Hague and causing you emotional duress or whatever -- I dunno; don't forget you live in a country where courts order $20 million payouts over spilled coffee.
* Do not sympathize with her in any way. If you show her any sympathy, I guarantee she will crush you, either under the U.S. or Japanese legal systems.
* Scream, kick, bite, yell, plead, beg, borrow and otherwise fight tooth and nail to be able to have regular access to your kids. You won't get it, but you may get others on side who may help you.
* Again, do not go near the Japanese legal system. Ever. Unless you can prove she is fucking around on you and an unfit mother; then sue the personn she's fucking around with. But the Japanese courts will not give your kids back even then, and you may get access to them in Japan once or twice a year.
* Finally, I'd say the best advice I can offer is to do everything possible to let your kids know you love them, are thinking about them and will do anything possible to be a good dad and that they are welcome to come to you whenever they want. Keep these promise. And if your kids ever do get to you, do not ever allow them back into your wife's clutches.

[CrankyBastard]

Plenty of good advice given to the OP.
Assuming he's being honest, hope everything turns out well for the kids.
'Course we don't know the wife's side of the story,
The old adage, "It takes two to tango" always comes to mind.
As I said, hope the kids welfare doesn't suffer.

[AssKissinger]

Build a time machine. Go back in time. Don't have kids.

PS

Fuck you.

[matsuki]

Build a time machine. Go back in time. Don't have kids.

PS

Fuck you.

Sorry but have to agree here....OP'S grasp of English spelling, lack of money, and lack of initiative are all indicative that he isn't willing to be a decent father. This issue has been discussed 9999999X times online and OP wouldn't have many questions if he put in a little effort with google. While the wifey is a clueless bitch that doesn't deserve the kids either, I don't have much sympathy for anyone here except the the children.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Sorry but have to agree here....OP'S grasp of English spelling

Being a resident or citizen of the US doesn't necessarily mean English is your native language.

[matsuki]

Being a resident or citizen of the US doesn't necessarily mean English is your native language.

Quite true but with all the idioms and slang he used, even if it isn't his native language, he 's been speaking it long enough to achieve 3rd grade literacy.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Quite true but with all the idioms and slang he used, even if it isn't his native language, he 's been speaking it long enough to achieve 3rd grade literacy.

Get back to me when your Japanese is native level.

[matsuki]

Get back to me when your Japanese is native level.

Touche

....but I'm at a disadvantage, not being a son of Yamato from the land of 4 seasons.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Touche

....but I'm at a disadvantage, not being a son of Yamato from the land of 4 seasons.

I wonder if Yosh even came back and read our comments. Maybe the English is shitty because Yosh is actually the Japanese wife and she's trying to find out what her husband can do to her. We may have committed treason against all men.

[Mike Oxlong]

His public profile shows he has not been back...

[matsuki]

I wonder if Yosh even came back and read our comments.

Doesn't look like it, probably a troll.

Maybe the English is shitty because Yosh is actually the Japanese wife and she's trying to find out what her husband can do to her. We may have committed treason against all men.

Hahaha, possible but the mistakes aren't the typical Japanese Engrish you'd expect if that were the case. More likely an illiterate embarrassment of an "native English speaking" American or a troll.

[IparryU]

Doesn't look like it, probably a troll.

Hahaha, possible but the mistakes aren't the typical Japanese Engrish you'd expect if that were the case. More likely an illiterate embarrassment of an "native English speaking" American or a troll.

just burn him when he gets back...

[yosh1234]

There obviously is more to the story and specifics that I am not gonna release due to privacy reasons I have. I gave you a barely scraping the counter version. I did read the posts and my concern is should I really file an abductin charge? even if I was able to see the kids. A very short lived visit. I just returned from a 17 day visit to Japan. It was a crazy trip and I was able to meet with my kids for a total of 4 hours-a two hour visit with my son, a two hour visit with my daughter, and a two hour visit with them BOTH together.And whoever said it, you're right I don't feel sorry for either myself or her. Its the kids I feel for! And as for the troll mentality I dont know which is worse, the troll or the pack mentality! I dont have to mention any names. You already let yourself be known and your previous opinions are no concern of mine. I write how I wanna write. Kind of like now, how I changed my writing style! It is a discussion board and not a college paper. So with that said, I dont need to mention anything else about you because your posts really speak volumes about who you really are on the inside.

[Iraira]

stuff

It's just your writing is kinda hard to read and all those vaccinations I had as a child caused my neural development to be stunted, so y'know. Congrats on being able to see your kids, best of luck with everything, don't take any advice from us, open wallet, get real lawyer, cross fingers. None of us can really give you any more advice than that.

[Thug4Life]

Yoshi, sorry to hear about all of this. I hope it all works out somehow. Some of us here actually have some Empathy towards others and yourself. But on this private homoerotic circle jerk sausage festival here, it's all us and them. Us and them.


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To them:

[Coligny]

Yoshi, sorry to hear about all of this. I hope it all works out somehow. Some of us here actually have some Empathy towards others and yourself. But on this private homoerotic circle jerk sausage festival here, it's all us and them. Us and them.

You do realise that nobody oblige you to be here ? And that you can enjoy as many forums as you wish behind yer gr8t firewall with other dog-eating-toddler-crushing-neocomiounist scums ?