Truth be told

[Jack]

I changed my mind about living in Japan. After having spent a lot of time there, I decided that the Japanese lifestyle is not my cup of tea. Not to be too critical, I find people's lives annoying. I rather have my lifestyle in Canada with Japanese friends joining in my lifestyle rather than me joining in their lifestyle in Japan.

Being in the office until late at night doing nothing just waiting for the boss to go home before they go home is ludicrous. Never being able to decline an official invitation even when they don't feel like attending is stupid. The list goes on and on.

It's also not possible to do business with the Japanese. Not for me anyway. I'm not going to work 5 years to come up with a deal. If I can't do a deal within a few days then I'm out. I have my perfectly good business here.

I tried too much to blend in with the Japanese. I should have just hung out with other gaijins in Japan. I love anything Japanese, I am just not enjoying their company; especially the males. Fuck, I can't stand Japanese males.

We have lots of Japanese friends here and we are enjoying our life much more.

[Samurai_Jerk]

[quote="Jack"]I changed my mind about living in Japan. After having spent a lot of time there, I decided that the Japanese lifestyle is not my cup of tea. Not to be too critical, I find people's lives annoying. I rather have my lifestyle in Canada with Japanese friends joining in my lifestyle rather than me joining in their lifestyle in Japan.

Being in the office until late at night doing nothing just waiting for the boss to go home before they go home is ludicrous. Never being able to decline an official invitation even when they don't feel like attending is stupid. The list goes on and on.

It's also not possible to do business with the Japanese. Not for me anyway. I'm not going to work 5 years to come up with a deal. If I can't do a deal within a few days then I'm out. I have my perfectly good business here.

I tried too much to blend in with the Japanese. I should have just hung out with other gaijins in Japan. I love anything Japanese, I am just not enjoying their company]

Holy shit. Next thing you know McToadChoad is going to start promoting miscegenation in Japan.

[tone]

yeah exactly

the last samurai has spoken - one who has infiltrated the dark continent the deepest and learned the most obscure mr. miyagi karate postures and experienced housing with build quality far surpassing anyone's wildest dreams.

next we'll have a new lafcadio hearn document surface with him bitching about his male compatriots

[wuchan]

Jack = Debito ?

[Coligny]

Jack, did you lose weight recently ?

[james]

thought april 1th wasn't for another 4 months! did hell freeze over? are the leafs a viable contender for the stanley cup this year?

anyway, for all of our differences, best of luck to you.

[james]

next we'll have a new lafcadio hearn document surface with him bitching about his male compatriots

didn't greji use to babysit that kid?

[GomiGirl]

Jack, coming from somebody who has lived here for a very very long time, there is no need to adopt a "Japanese lifestyle" just cos you live in Tokyo. I learned very early on that one needs to have your own individual lifestyle in your house irrespective of the geography of your abode. Just the same as you don't live the same life as your neighbours in Canada, you can't live the same life as your neighbours in downtown Tokyo.

Anybody living for an extended time in Japan trying to be more Japanese than a person who was born here, is on the fast track for the loony bin as we have seen countless times. *ahem cough* Rob ***** *cough*.

People may criticise me for not watching Japanese TV or not being able to cook Japanese food for my family but what happens in my own home is my own business. It is the place where I feel most comfortable. As it well should be. My friends are a mix of people and I don't gravitate toward somebody because they might be Japanese or because they are foreign. They are my friends as I like who they are as people.

There is good and bad in every culture. It is up to the individual to make the best of it where ever they lay their hat.

That said, it is also not for me or you to judge others on how they live their lives. Trying to get the world to conform to your own standards of life, is arrogant and misguided. Plus lumping everybody from the same country into the same group is pretty lame on your part. You can't just say you "love everything Japanese except for the men". Firstly, it isn't fair on all Japanese men, but secondly, it is narrow minded on your part. Actually, it is just narrow minded - period. Shows how little you truly understand about the world around you.

[Iraira]

1) Someone hacked Jack's account.
2) The therapist sessions & "meds" are finally kicking in.
3) The world is ending December 21, 2012.
4) We're all experiencing the same hallucination.
5) There is now conclusive evidence that the multiverse exists.

[IparryU]

1) Someone hacked Jack's account.
2) The therapist sessions & "meds" are finally kicking in.
3) The world is ending December 21, 2012.
4) We're all experiencing the same hallucination.
5) There is now conclusive evidence that the multiverse exists.

1 and 4

[Yokohammer]

I'm trying to give a fuck. Really I am.

Nah, sorry ... just can't do it.

[Taro Toporific]

Possible explanations..........
3) The world is ending December 21, 2012.

The world is ending: Jack and Taro agree on something.

[matsuki]

All the complaints Jack has are what all just ignore and do our own way....Japanese men? LOL Sounds like someone just couldn't hack out a life for himself in Japan.

[omae mona]

Being in the office until late at night doing nothing just waiting for the boss to go home before they go home is ludicrous. Never being able to decline an official invitation even when they don't feel like attending is stupid. The list goes on and on.

It's also not possible to do business with the Japanese. Not for me anyway. I'm not going to work 5 years to come up with a deal. If I can't do a deal within a few days then I'm out. I have my perfectly good business here.

Why were you hanging out with and doing business with people like that? It's like you were living inside one of the newspaper articles in the "another newbie reporter discovers Japan" thread.

We have lots of Japanese friends here and we are enjoying our life much more.

That's good to hear. I am glad there is a good ending to the story for you.

[Coligny]

People may criticise me for not watching Japanese TV

And those people are the justification for keeping death penalty...

[Jack]

Jack, coming from somebody who has lived here for a very very long time, there is no need to adopt a "Japanese lifestyle" just cos you live in Tokyo. I learned very early on that one needs to have your own individual lifestyle in your house irrespective of the geography of your abode. Just the same as you don't live the same life as your neighbours in Canada, you can't live the same life as your neighbours in downtown Tokyo.

Anybody living for an extended time in Japan trying to be more Japanese than a person who was born here, is on the fast track for the loony bin as we have seen countless times. *ahem cough* Rob ***** *cough*.

People may criticise me for not watching Japanese TV or not being able to cook Japanese food for my family but what happens in my own home is my own business. It is the place where I feel most comfortable. As it well should be. My friends are a mix of people and I don't gravitate toward somebody because they might be Japanese or because they are foreign. They are my friends as I like who they are as people.

There is good and bad in every culture. It is up to the individual to make the best of it where ever they lay their hat.

That said, it is also not for me or you to judge others on how they live their lives. Trying to get the world to conform to your own standards of life, is arrogant and misguided. Plus lumping everybody from the same country into the same group is pretty lame on your part. You can't just say you "love everything Japanese except for the men". Firstly, it isn't fair on all Japanese men, but secondly, it is narrow minded on your part. Actually, it is just narrow minded - period. Shows how little you truly understand about the world around you.

That's all true. I still like Japan it's just that in my case I did not have much of a social circle there. No matter how great a place is, you still need family and friends to make it worthwhile. If I change my mind again (and only a fool never changes his mind) I'll associate more with other foreigners. All the men in my/wife's social circle were douche bags. And that's a fact. The men I interacted in business were douche bags too. So my sample size as far as my life in Japan is concerned was that. There may be some very nice/wise/clever/kind fuckwit somehere but if he doesn't interact in my life then that doesn't count.

In Canada we have so many Japanese friends (most of them the wife's friends married to locals) and it is so much fun to be together. We were not getting the same traction in Japan. My issue is one of lifestyle, nothing else. My lifestyle as it is, is better in Canada. There is nothing arrogant about that. I am in search of a good lifestyle. If adapting to the local lifestyle improves mine, then great. In Japan, that did not happen.

Gomigirl, I agree with everything you say but I stand by my statement that J-men are douchebags.

[dimwit]

Look, the Japanese man whose company I most enjoy are utterly unrelated to work or have much connection with my wife. When you think about the kind of person who is 'inspired' to be salaryman, you are going to end up with a dullard. Of my three best Japanese friends, only one is a salaryman but he is not at all wedded to his job.

[Iraira]

My best J-guy friends have completely different careers/jobs than I do. I think it results in the different walks of life make for better something or other situation. Ultimately, few of us have anything in common, except for partying, music, the desire to sink to a humor level that even the bottom of the barrel would be embarrassed by, and, of course, the desire to chase after women. Thus, there is little complaining about work, and more joking about and complaining about the real shit in life. For me, that's the release from the BS of life that keeps me sane (viewable from whatever perspective you wish).

[Taro Toporific]

People may criticise me for not watching Japanese TV

And those people are the justification for keeping death penalty...

But, but[color="Silver"]t[/color], think of all the education you are missing because you are not watching the morning "Wide" shows.

[james]

I stand by my statement that J-men are douchebags.

you're just sleeping with the wrong guys

[Coligny]

Dude... you should see the diner time conversation at home when I got the 2 generations senseiz at the same table...

I'm sooo happy NOT to understand all the details...

[Jack]

you're just sleeping with the wrong guys

Why are you repeating what I just said?

[canman]

I don't know who Jack is friends with and what they are like, but I have a couple of really good Japanese male friends that are nothing like the people he described, so on that point I must say I'm lucky.But I can talk to his assertion about quality of life. Although I like Japan a lot and enjoy what I do, I do feel sometimes that working conditions, amount of time, personal reward, is much less than that back home. People here live to work, whereas a lot of Canadians, work as a means to something else. Get out of the office asap, go out and do something, but here, it just doesn't happen, without massive planning and soul crushing regulations.

[Yokohammer]

People here live to work, whereas a lot of Canadians, work as a means to something else. Get out of the office asap, go out and do something, but here, it just doesn't happen, without massive planning and soul crushing regulations.

Ah yes, the ol' "live to work or work to live" issue hasn't changed much in the 40 odd years I've been here (and they have been very odd). The salaryman crowd are not big on imagination or spontaneity, are they. Still, I have to raise my hand and say that I do have a couple of good male Japanese friends too, all independent and in no way tied to "the company." I have to wonder if dyed-in-the-wool salaryman types actually have any friends at all.

[Iraira]

Still, I have to raise my hand and say that I do have a couple of good male Japanese friends too, all independent and in no way tied to "the company."

You may have hit the nail on the head. My best J-guy friends are either their own bosses or not the suit&tie chained to the office types. Seems like the office life breeds a certain type of monster that I don't mix so well with.

[Jack]

Anyway, my experience wasn't good and it's not like I was not trying. I keep an open mind. I like Japan. It would be great to have a circle of caucasian friends with a common language and live with all that Japan has to offer.

[Samurai_Jerk]

I have to agree with what everyone else is saying. The Japanese guys I get along with most aren't corporate types. Most of them work at or own restaurants or bars. However, I kind of understand where Jack is coming from. I'm finding that the longer I'm here the less time I spend hanging out with Japanese guys. It's seems like the more I understand them (both in terms of language and culture) the more I realize I just don't have much in common with them.

[Greji]

1) Someone hacked Jack's account.
2) The therapist sessions & "meds" are finally kicking in.
3) The world is ending December 21, 2012.
4) We're all experiencing the same hallucination.
5) There is now conclusive evidence that the multiverse exists.

I pick 3). Jack is Mayan.

I see where he is coming from and note that I only have about two what I call friends from my immediate business contacts and/or my company. The main reason is they know and can talk nothing but job. They can only carry on a talk about a non-business related topic for about one minute. They're alive talking business, but nothing else plays and business is the last thing I want to talk about on my nights out.

[maraboutslim]

It sounds like Jack is saying that he'd really like Japan if it wasn't for the Japanese being there. I don't think hanging out with gaijin would be the solution: I think getting a hobby or two or three and then hanging out with the Japanese you meet through those hobbies is a lot better than just being stuck with the ones you meet through work or in the neighborhood or through family connections.

I kind of get where he is coming from but was lucky enough that my Japanese friends and associates in Japan weren't salarymen - they were guys and girls I played in bands with, surfed with, played soccer with, studied martial arts with, and so on. They may have been boring as fuck in their daily work lives - but they were real people when engaged in their hobbies/passions.

[matsuki]

I see where he is coming from and note that I only have about two what I call friends from my immediate business contacts and/or my company. The main reason is they know and can talk nothing but job. They can only carry on a talk about a non-business related topic for about one minute. They're alive talking business, but nothing else plays and business is the last thing I want to talk about on my nights out.

THIS

I just do my best to ignore the ones that would have me doing this and enjoy the company of the ones that have me doing this Japaneeeze or Gaijin, don't really care