J-Divorce hits new record

[Taro Toporific]

Divorce hits all-time high in Japan
The Globe and Mail, Canada - Aug 17
Tokyo --- Japan's divorce rate rose to an all-time high last year, reflecting
an increasing number of middle-aged and older couples who are breaking up. ...
... Divorce was long considered a social taboo in Japan, but the stigma has faded in recent years. One phenomenon given prominent media coverage involves older women who leave their husbands after the latter retire and find themselves with nothing to do but hang around the house.

[Big Booger]

when a man and woman wed, it should be for eternity, except under extreme cases of mental or physical abuse.

[ramchop]

when a man and woman wed, it should be for eternity

Why?

While I'm currently in a happy situation where I agree with you... I can't think of a logical reason to support your statement.

[Neo-Rio]

when a man and woman wed, it should be for eternity

Last time I said that to a woman... she ran off.

Come on, I think eternity is a bit too long....

[Big Booger]

If you ask why, you should never marry.


And here is my go at a semi-explanation. When I married, I knew and still know that she is the one, and only one that I will ever love. I love her more than life itself. Marriage should be at least for me, a one time event. It should be special, something sacred and eternal. If not, then there really is no need for marriage.. just live together.. if you don't take the committment seriously, don't have plans to be together forever, or think of marriage loosely, don't get married.

Marriage is not longer a serious endeavor. It is a farce these days. People get married, have problems and get divorced... there is not sense of the eternal...

I think it should be eternal, unless there are serious trouble as in the terms of abuse or something similar.

Also, I think you cannot equate logic with love.. love is illogical.. so I don't think I could ever provide a logical reason for loving and staying married to someone for eternity..

I think however the sanctity of marriage is not taken seriously as much as it used to be.

[ramchop]

And here is my go at a semi-explanation. When I married, I knew and still know that she is the one, and only one that I will ever love. I love her more than life itself. Marriage should be at least for me, a one time event. It should be special, something sacred and eternal.

As I said, I'm in a similarly happy situation.

However, what if you didn't find "the one"? Should you continue on through life in a series of semi-committed relationships until "the one" comes along? What if you're unlucky and end up thinking about settling for less than "the one"? What if you want kids? What if someone else comes along and you suddenly realise that "the one" isn't "THE ONE"?

... so many "what ifs". I'm just glad I aimed high and scored my "one", even though two other people were hurt in the process.

[Big Booger]

You should never commit to someone unless you truly love them as "the one" If so you have robbed them of true happiness and probably yourself as well in the process.

Marriage should be about committment for life (eternity), a combining of souls.

Today dumbasses across the globe get married while not finding the one, or making a bond, a serious meshing of mind to mind... and inevitably they end in divorce. I've been married for 5-6 years now, and what I can tell you in my short marriage is that there are problems, there are great times, and there are not so great times.. there are days of boredom, days of excitement, days of this and that..

All in all, without a committment, you're doomed. So being committed eternally, keeps the bond strong between man and woman in the marriage.

[GomiGirl]

ignore...

[American Oyaji]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with BB.

A good marriage doesn't "happen". A good marriage is made. And it takes give and take on BOTH sides.

I must say though that the worst enemy to the institution of marriage is Hollywood.

Hollywood stars have such lights shined on their lives that the whole world knows what and who they are doing.

I think back in the heyday of Hollywood that people got married so that they would not appear "immoral". And then they got divorced when they got tired of being together. Well, Joe Public sees that and thinks its OK.

Thus the mess we have now.

Some of the problems are that some women have what I call a "romance fetish". It's this mystical idea that life is going to be a fairytale and every sexual encouter will include an orgasm. And when reality falls short, they begin to nag their husbands about everything except what is bothering them. Truth being, they don't realize why they are upset sometimes, or maybe they do, but feel betrayed and blame it on their husbands.

[Big Booger]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with BB.

A good marriage doesn't "happen". A good marriage is made. And it takes give and take on BOTH sides.

I must say though that the worst enemy to the institution of marriage is Hollywood.

Hollywood stars have such lights shined on their lives that the whole world knows what and who they are doing.

I think back in the heyday of Hollywood that people got married so that they would not appear "immoral". And then they got divorced when they got tired of being together. Well, Joe Public sees that and thinks its OK.

Thus the mess we have now.

Some of the problems are that some women have what I call a "romance fetish". It's this mystical idea that life is going to be a fairytale and every sexual encouter will include an orgasm. And when reality falls short, they begin to nag their husbands about everything except what is bothering them. Truth being, they don't realize why they are upset sometimes, or maybe they do, but feel betrayed and blame it on their husbands.

I couldn't have said it better.

[cstaylor]

Some of the problems are that some women have what I call a "romance fetish". It's this mystical idea that life is going to be a fairytale and every sexual encouter will include an orgasm.

[gomichild]

I actually like being married. I never thought I would get around to doing it. No rules apply - you work out your own. It's working out how to live with another person that's the tricky bit.

Admittedly I just stumbled home drunk to find the other half in bed. It's 2am. All he says to me is "I love you"...

Which means if even mid-week drunks can find happiness in marriage there must be something in that for all of us...

[American Oyaji]

Hey GC, when did you get married?

I thought you were a single lady like GG.

[gomichild]

April last year. Not single - just a flirt

[Shibuya Me]

What do you all think of this idea?!

Contracts!

Time Sensitive Contractual Agreements between a Man and a Women of Marriage!

There would be 6months, 9months, 1 year, 5 year, and 20 year contracts!

If you really do LOVE each other, then a lifetime contract that you can not ever get out of....EVER!

Good idea?

[GomiGirl]

I must say though that the worst enemy to the institution of marriage is Hollywood.

I will have to question this because since living in Japan, I rarely hear anything about Hollywood.. I didn't know until recently that Madonna had another baby, or that J-Lo is dating Ben Afleck. And actually I (and most people I hang out with) don't really give two shits about what is happening in Hollywood. The problem you describe seems to be a location based problem but divorce is increasing all over the world..

Some of the problems are that some women have what I call a "romance fetish". It's this mystical idea that life is going to be a fairytale and every sexual encouter will include an orgasm. And when reality falls short, they begin to nag their husbands about everything except what is bothering them. Truth being, they don't realize why they are upset sometimes, or maybe they do, but feel betrayed and blame it on their husbands.

Again I would have to disagree with you on this one.. AO - you really need to get out more and meet some interesting people.. (I mean that in a nice way) you seem to stew in your own head a heap about issues and rely on really old stereotypes that for the most part don't really apply in the world I live in. Also I know I am not unusual.. I also don't think this is why wives nag their husbands..

Sure there is a heap of this still attitude in the suburbs, but this is decreasing from my perspective... Keep an open mind and look out for people who don't fit into this mould and you will be surprised how many there are out there..

Don't mean to open old wounds, but aren't you separated?

[American Oyaji]

Yes, GG. But not in the normal sense. I meant to bring my family over here right away, but shit happened.


When I talk to people tho, I find that their expectations of their spouse and their marriage are indeed NOT based in reality. I'm actually speaking to the TRUTH of it. Not the BS smokescreen people throw up so that it doesn't seem that THEY are the one with the problem.

And GG, what makes you think that I don't get out?

[Neo-Rio]

The treatise of love says:

What is the cause of family and marriage institution erosion in modern society?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Modern society allows more freedom for people to act; to act out of instinctive motivation in particular. A life-time marriage, a monogamous one to be sure, is not provided by instincts.
The rising standard of life, increasing population and its density, increasing length of life and diminishing child death rate activate the instincts of self-constrainment of species population, which disturbs the normal work of marriage and parental instincts.

So in other words, this fits Japan quite nicely. Over-population combined with Japanese whims and impulses has pretty much lead to this.
Apperently, biologically speaking, both humans and animals have the ability to curb their breeding when they run out of space. It therefore makes no sense in Japan to have a happy marriage for the purpose of raising children when everyone DOESN'T NEED MORE PEOPLE![/quote]

[Big Booger]

I think truth is relative. While we experience things, our experiences are limited by the circles we interact with.

However, you can generalize those experiences, but then you run the danger of over generalizing based on our limited experience.

[Jack]

I don't know what's with Japanese marriages but the easiest target for banging are Japanese married women. Even the nice young ones don't seem to be happy when they are married. Maybe it is with the working hours of the men who are never home.

[Andocrates]

Jack, do you know every post you make refers to having sex? That's unbalanced, there's a lot more colors in life' coloring box. All I see when you post is perversion - get mad if you want but think about it.

[Caustic Saint]

Jack, do you know every post you make refers to having sex? That's unbalanced, there's a lot more colors in life' coloring box. All I see when you post is perversion - get mad if you want but think about it.

Maybe he's just got a one track mind? Or maybe that's just his philosophy on life. Robin Williams once said men look at all things in two ways - can I kill it or fuck it? I guess Jack's just the peaceful type.

For the fashionable philosopher:

[AssKissinger]

I don't know what's with Japanese marriages but the easiest target for banging are Japanese married women. Even the nice young ones don't seem to be happy when they are married. Maybe it is with the working hours of the men who are never home.

Do kiss and tell. I remember you posted on this before but could you give some more exact data. How many married women have you screwed? Oldest? Youngest? How old are you? Does it turn you on to know they're willing to risk wrecking their marriage (and maybe destroying their family) just to have sex with you? I'm not judging you. I think it's a subject that deserves exploration.

[Gaisaradatsuraku!]

I must say though that the worst enemy to the institution of marriage is Hollywood.

I will have to question this because since living in Japan, I rarely hear anything about Hollywood..

How is this possible? Virtually all popular movies in Japan are from Hollywood? I know that there are the artsy fartsy Euro flicks and some Japanese films are popular. But by and large it is all Hollywood all over the world (and especially Japan).

However, to throw a bone to Jack, some Hollywood films are shot in Canada because it cheap up there in the frozen north.

[Andocrates]

Well why people divorce sould make for one long thread. But there was a time when our goals were based on a difficult short life. Today we enjoy life to it's fullest all the way to at least 70, and that's 2 lifes. So many times when people hit 35-45 they want to examine their circumstances and make sure they are not wasting their remaining time.

That old adage life begins at 40 seems to be true. Usually by 40 people are sure of themselves and know what they want out of life and are willing and able to get it. Many people feel free after the kids leave home and they enter a second teenage period.

Also in 20-30 years of marraige people can certainly grow in seperate directions. I know a couple in their late 50's he's a hard drinking, Harley riding (I don't want to get up and get my dictorary, so pick the correct spelling) sachoo, sashoo and the wife looks like an anchient Japanese fish wife.

[GomiGirl]

I must say though that the worst enemy to the institution of marriage is Hollywood.

I will have to question this because since living in Japan, I rarely hear anything about Hollywood..

How is this possible? Virtually all popular movies in Japan are from Hollywood? I know that there are the artsy fartsy Euro flicks and some Japanese films are popular. But by and large it is all Hollywood all over the world (and especially Japan).

Yes the movies are here but not the gossip tripe that is associated - I am sure that it is in silly Japanese magazines that I don't read - but Who and Hello are not here in English and when I read stuff in Japanese, it is not usually this sort of magazine.

Plus the stuff on TV about the movies and starts is really just the real publicity stuff churned out by the studios or at the press conferences and not the Hard Copy type journalism.

[Jack]

Jack, do you know every post you make refers to having sex? That's unbalanced, there's a lot more colors in life' coloring box. All I see when you post is perversion - get mad if you want but think about it.

I only post on the subjects that interest me and banging girls was something that intersted me a lot. Like someone posted after, I am the peaceful kind. But to take this to a serious level, I notice that more married Japanese women are unhappy than western women. Or at least, the unhappy Japanese women are more aggressive in taking the initiative to find affection. I would be curious to find out why so many are unhappy.

[Jack]

However, to throw a bone to Jack, some Hollywood films are shot in Canada because it cheap up there in the frozen north.

You are right about that one. Film industry workers in Canada are not unionized like in the States and with our cheap dollar vis-a-vis the US dollar, it is more economical to shoot here. I don't know how many movies I have seen that were shot in Old Montreal but pass as London, Paris or New York.

The funniest was the movie "The Jackal" in which presumably they had a scene in the subway in Chicago but it was actually a subway station in Montreal.

[Jack]

Do kiss and tell. I remember you posted on this before but could you give some more exact data. How many married women have you screwed? Oldest? Youngest? How old are you? Does it turn you on to know they're willing to risk wrecking their marriage (and maybe destroying their family) just to have sex with you? I'm not judging you. I think it's a subject that deserves exploration.

Since this is anonymous, we can have some fun so I'll bite. I banged many married women, I have the exact data but "Japanese" only 6. Youngest married woman was 29 and oldest was a stunning looking 48. One 32 year old married woman, whom my friends thought was very cute, came to visit me in my country twice. She just had a baby now and she is still thinking of visiting me once she can travel even though she knows I am out of the circuit. I am almost double the age of most girls in their twenties. Only once that mattered to a girl. It does turn me on when a woman is married but it turns women on even more to cheat on their husbands. I think the marriages are practically destroyed by the time they do it with me anyway. By the way, many of the women would send me obvious signals inviting me to approached them. So it is not like I am taking advantage of them or anything.

[AssKissinger]

Only six??? Six is a lot of married women, dude . Did any husbands ever find out that you know about? What's the closest you ever got to getting caught? What was the riskiest stuff you ever did in terms of getting caught (like doing it in thier bed while he's at work and the kids are at school or whatever)? Were you or are you worried that some jealous husband might seek revenge? How often were you just sure that it was the best sex she ever had?

banging girls was something that intersted me a lot