Steven Seagal? Who's that?

[matsuki]

I think I got a kid that old.....

Yeah but you aren't trying to be Greji, TV kickass law enforcer.

[Taro Toporific]

[SIZE="2"]Steven Seagal sworn deputy sheriff in West Texas[/SIZE]
AP -- Thursday, Oct. 13, 2011

Fark.com has a fun thread running about His Immensity, Steven Seagal...
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[matsuki]

Looks like he's just trying to adopt the local look....


Seriously though, sooo many Aikido instructors I had were that size with age....limber and well balanced though!

[Taro Toporific]

Buick Verano: The car designed for people with ponytails
Car Advice | Reviews |  October 20th, 2011
Steven Seagal, at times Lleyton Hewitt and David Beckham, maybe even Snoop Dogg, and presumably plenty of women too will all be perfectly at home in the all-new 2012 Buick Verano.
General Motors has gone to great lengths to ensure the new Verano is as comfortable as possible, and has guaranteed people with plenty of hair, particularly those with ponytails, will enjoy the ride.
In a recent press release, GM explains how it spent 1000 hours developing the Verano's seats to help "prevent 'hot spots' from happening on long drives and help protect hair-dos from head rest interference"...more...

[Mike Oxlong]

Hadn't noticed these cartoons before:

[Taro Toporific]

[Taro Toporific]

[floatl][/floatl]Police Make Arrest in Los Angeles Fires
Wallstreet Journal blog | Jan. 3, 2012
...a four-day string of 53 suspicious fires that broke out in and around Los Angeles, many in or near Hollywood, causing damage of about $3 million... following the Sunday release of security-camera footage of a person sought in connection with the fires. The grainy video showed a man, dressed in black, with a receding hairline and dark shoulder-length hair pulled into a ponytail...Given his stocky appearance and hairstyle in the security-video footage, Mr. Burkhart was nicknamed [SIZE="2"]"Meatloaf Seagal"[/SIZE] by users of the microblogging site Twitter, a reference to the singer Meat Loaf and action-movie actor Steven Seagal...more...

[Mike Oxlong]

Paradise by the gas-bomb light?

His vehicle had Canuck plates, eh...

[Greji]

Paradise by the gas-bomb light?

I don't think that was a real gas bomb Mike. I think it was just Coligny lighting one of his Escargot farts. I am to understand that's one of the major pastimes in the Nagoya area.....

[Coligny]

I don't think that was a real gas bomb Mike. I think it was just Coligny lighting one of his Escargot farts. I am to understand that's one of the major pastimes in the Nagoya area.....

d00d you fooking promised not to tell anybody...

[Samurai_Jerk]

[MrUltimateGaijin]

some nice "come hither" wrist work by Big Stevie

[Christoff]

I have to admit, that was pretty good.

[matsuki]

Enjoyed that but his Japanese accent isn't nearly as good as I thought it would be.

[Russell]

For some reason, Seagal gets across as a fruit cake in this video.

[Mike Oxlong]

Steve in 1972.

[Samurai_Jerk]

For some reason, Seagal gets across as a fruit cake in this video.

Well, he is doing aikido.

[Doctor Stop]

He looks like he weighs three or four times that now.

[Taro Toporific]

For some reason, Seagal gets across as a fruit cake in this video.

Well, at least he is consistant.


[INDENT]Jimmy Kimmel Live -- Mar 26, 2012 --- Interview with Steven Seagal
[/INDENT]

[TennoChinko]

He sounds like he is trying to hard with his fake-sounding 'soulful' Louisiana accent.

When he first came out in the 90's, he implied he was an Italian from New York when he was really a Jew that grew up in Los Angeles.

Compare with this interview:


Now he wants to sound like he's from the South.

Also, his comebacks sound rehearsed and come out prematurely. Probably from his previous bad experiences on talk shows like Letterman.

Like a lot of former expats who worked in Japan and Asia, Seagal also liked to falsely imply that he worked for the CIA. Another guy from the 80's who played fake CIA agent was the late Craig Spence:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craig_J._Spence

[Taro Toporific]

[dimwit]

Are going to make me look? Does Steven Seagal even write his own movie dialogue?

Better question. What kind of masocist could sit through his 30 plus movies and analyze the grammar? Personally, I think it would be more interesting to analyze the grammar people who have watched all his movies. Bet you they say 'Y'all' alot.

[jingai]

He sounds like he is trying to hard with his fake-sounding 'soulful' Louisiana accent.

When he first came out in the 90's, he implied he was an Italian from New York when he was really a Jew that grew up in Los Angeles.

Compare with this interview:
[YT]tQU_Tdo23eE[/YT
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craig_J._Spence

I liked his Japanese in that interview where he calls Leno a giant chinned monster.

[Taro Toporific]

I liked his Japanese in that interview where he calls Leno a giant chinned monster.

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[jingai]

Nailed him.

And here's the MadTV version of that Tonight Show interview (definitely watch them one after another): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SweMXi8VMHY

[Taro Toporific]

Quote of the Day:
“Steven Seagal is fat and expendable.”
--Van Damme (speaking of a role for Seagal in the upcoming Expendables 3)
via manilovefilms.com | 2012/08/20:Steven Seagal Apathetic Toward Jean Clude Van Damme

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

God, that photo reminds me of Elvis just before he died (if Elvis had, actually, in fact, died...)

I'll say one good thing....at least he got rid of the ponytail...but it looks like he ate the pony to do it....

[Mike Oxlong]

[Taro Toporific]

Shia Labeouf Says Steven Seagal Was an Inspiration
Reelzchannel.com via IMdB.com | 2012-27-27
When most people think of Transformers actor Shia Labeouf they probably don't think of legendary action-star Steven Seagal but when Labeouf was a kid, it was Seagal who the burgeoning actor wanted to be.
In an interview ... Labeouf... talked about his movie idol:
"I would watch Steven Seagal movies and go into my room and try to beat my little teddy bear up, thinking I was him. And I would pull my curls back into a Seagal ponytail—which looked ridiculous, but I tried...more...

labeouf-vs-seagal.jpg

[Mike Oxlong]

Who could forget his 2005 masterpiece theater...?

Schooled Tarantino!