We dont have nail clippers in the UK.

[Papa-Lazarou]

I have just been working in Tokyo for a month and was wondering if my experience working with a traditional Japanese company was in any way common?

The 75 year old boss of the company knew more about my home country than i do, even though he has never been there. For some reason he felt duty bound to tell me "facts" about the UK a regular intervals. Every single one of them was flat out wrong and each more ludicrous than the next. The 1st week started off with crime etc but by the 4th week it just got bizarre. During 1 meeting he pulled out this incredible steel object from his pocket and began to explain what it was, apparently we do not have nail clippers in the UK, that's a fact. I explained that this was not true, but I was over ruled, I was mistaken, you do not have these in the UK.

Is this a "face" thing then? Is this how the Japanese work?

Also, do the Japanese in general think complicated things are "better" than simple things?

The systems i reviewed were the most ridiculous things ive ever seen. Whereas outside of Japan, most companies use 3 firewalls and maybe 8 servers, these guys were using 12 firewalls and 30 odd servers to do the same thing. When i suggested that this could be simplified greatly, they gave me look like i had suggested taking a dump on the server room floor.
When i then asked exactly why data was being moved around 5 servers when it could just be moved from 1 to another, nobody could answer me.

I have never been anywhere where so much time and effort was wasted on making simple tasks needlessly complicated and sitting around in meetings listening with great reverence to a senior citizen babble on about nail clippers.

how does anything ever get done?

[yanpa]

Is this a "face" thing then? Is this how the Japanese work?

The technical term for this is "TIJ".

The systems i reviewed were the most ridiculous things ive ever seen. Whereas outside of Japan, most companies use 3 firewalls and maybe 8 servers, these guys were using 12 firewalls and 30 odd servers to do the same thing. When i suggested that this could be simplified greatly, they gave me look like i had suggested taking a dump on the server room floor.
When i then asked exactly why data was being moved around 5 servers when it could just be moved from 1 to another, nobody could answer me.

Sounds pretty advanced if no floppy disks and/or cutting'n'pasting between Excel sheets are involved in the process.

how does anything ever get done?

In the innermost sanctum of any Japanese organisation there is a shrine to the Golden Nailclipper, the magical "ganbare" power emanating from which enables all obstacles to be overcome

[Papa-Lazarou]

I forgot about the floppy disks. Yes they were being used, of course.

We had to wear a bright blue hat whilst in the server room. I thought about asking why, but decided there was no point.

Oh, and why do they apologise, profusely when i drop my notepad or when my pen runs out, but dont say a word when they forget to pick me up at the station?

[Papa-Lazarou]

One of the people i was working with emailed my company noting that "we were surprised that you sent a consultant with a tattoo to visit us" To my shame, i have a small tattoo on my upper back.

This obviously should never be a problem, as i dont usually have to strip to my effing underpants in front of the gawping customer in order to wear a "special" uniform in order to enter a production area.



Ill go to bed now, i feel better.

[yanpa]

Oh, and why do they apologise, profusely when i drop my notepad or when my pen runs out, but dont say a word when they forget to pick me up at the station?

Ah, that is because in that case you should be apologising.

An alternative interpretation might however be that the dichotomy of the event situation in "uchi" and "soto" contexts places the fault paradigm outside of the established group environment, negating the obligation of the designated promise fulfiller to bear responsibility for an outcome influenced by non-predictable externalised factors.

(Sorry, I have a degree in Japology which qualifies me to express the concept of "TIJ" in incomprehensible sentences filled with hi' falutin' academic jargon).

[Papa-Lazarou]

Oh, and why do they apologise, profusely when i drop my notepad or when my pen runs out, but dont say a word when they forget to pick me up at the station?

Ah, that is because in that case you should be apologising.

An alternative interpretation might however be that the dichotomy of the event situation in "uchi" and "soto" contexts places the fault paradigm outside of the established group environment, negating the obligation of the designated promise fulfiller to bear responsibility for an outcome influenced by non-predictable externalised factors.

(Sorry, I have a degree in Japology which qualifies me to express the concept of "TIJ" in incomprehensible sentences filled with hi' falutin' academic jargon).

I think i sort of vaguely understand.

Whereas I as a western person would apologise for something that was caused by my actions, they as a group apologise for the outcome of the event? IE my papers are on the floor, they see this as not what was suposed to happen, so they apologise for the situation?

[yanpa]

I was just making that up off the top of my head Though it's a good an explanation as any, I suppose...

[Papa-Lazarou]

I suppose the lesson is that one should keep firm grip of ones notepad and always have a local taxi number in ones phone.

Just in case...

[Papa-Lazarou]

I was just making that up off the top of my head Though it's a good an explanation as any, I suppose...

I put it down originally to Japanese people like to act "crazy" whilst at work.

[yanpa]

I suppose the lesson is that one should keep firm grip of ones notepad and always have a local taxi number in ones phone.

Just in case...

And some nail clippers with "Made in Sheffield" stamped on them prominently. If they exist - come to think of it I grew up fearing nail scissors and the first time I ever bought nail clippers was in Japan.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

The most important thing...did the old geezer pull out the clippers merely for show, or did he cut his toenails in the office to display a traditional Japanese custom?

[Papa-Lazarou]

I suppose the lesson is that one should keep firm grip of ones notepad and always have a local taxi number in ones phone.

Just in case...

And some nail clippers with "Made in Sheffield" stamped on them prominently. If they exist - come to think of it I grew up fearing nail scissors and the first time I ever bought nail clippers was in Japan.

They gave me a few to send back to the UK "for my family"

Ill give them a call and explain how to use them.

[Papa-Lazarou]

The most important thing...did the old geezer pull out the clippers merely for show, or did he cut his toenails in the office to display a traditional Japanese custom?

Just a mime, not a real demo.

I was a bit brusque by the end of the job. There is only so much complete and utter effing horse shit i can put up with.


And if i hear one more time about how much they "respect" Mt Fuji, ill start throwing punches.

Do they simply respect something "because its there"

As mountaineers say.

[IparryU]

I suppose the lesson is that one should keep firm grip of ones notepad and always have a local taxi number in ones phone.

Just in case...

And some nail clippers with "Made in Sheffield" stamped on them prominently. If they exist - come to think of it I grew up fearing nail scissors and the first time I ever bought nail clippers was in Japan.

They gave me a few to send back to the UK "for my family"

Ill give them a call and explain how to use them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nail_clipper

sucks that the Japanese edition of this wiki article is very vague...

[yanpa]

And if i hear one more time about how much they "respect" Mt Fuji, ill start throwing punches.

Do they simply respect something "because its there"

As mountaineers say.

What they didn't tell you is that Mt. Fuji is actually a giant heap of nailclippings, piled up over the centuries and sculpted into that unique shape of breathtaking beauty in each of Japan's four seasons through sheer application of the Yamato spirit, which certainly is an achievement worthy of respect.

[Coligny]

And for you it's just a job... picture being married to one of these caricatural assholes...

There's days were i get the feeling that even mominlaw want to bitchslap her...
(since mominlaw normal states are "relax" 50% of the time "dreamy/sleepy" 40% or "scared by something" (usually a mouse or a big spider) 9%, the remaining 1% of "pissed of enough to fuck your shit up big time" is quite easy to spot)

[matsuki]

I have never been anywhere where so much time and effort was wasted on making simple tasks needlessly complicated and sitting around in meetings listening with great reverence to a senior citizen babble on about nail clippers.

how does anything ever get done?

Just like that....5 people doing the job that 1 person could do, lots of pointless meetings, teeth sucking, and small penis syndrome confidence building using a bunch of BS about the country and culture.

[GomiGirl]

I wanna hear more about the hat and the outfit you needed to change into... that is pure gold.

[Coligny]

My bet goes to ESD coverall:

ESD_coverall_ESD_work_clothes_ESD_cleanroom.jpg

Which is not that uncommon in the tech sector, albeit should be useless for server room who have to be climate controlled and properly grounded. Without fooking synthetic carpets...

Previous jobs had some macs in sterile labs... a bit of an ordeal to go to maintain them.
On the opposite side the server room was often muddy when it rained too much and required rubber boots...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

My bet goes to ESD coverall:

ESD_coverall_ESD_work_clothes_ESD_cleanroom.jpg

Can't be...this rigout is what the kids have to wear when they serve up school lunches (plus the surgical mask)

[Papa-Lazarou]

I have never been anywhere where so much time and effort was wasted on making simple tasks needlessly complicated and sitting around in meetings listening with great reverence to a senior citizen babble on about nail clippers.

how does anything ever get done?

Just like that....5 people doing the job that 1 person could do, lots of pointless meetings, teeth sucking, and small penis syndrome confidence building using a bunch of BS about the country and culture.

ahh yes, the teeth sucking, slight shaking of the head and look of pain that proceeds every statement.


Delightful.

[Papa-Lazarou]

My bet goes to ESD coverall:

ESD_coverall_ESD_work_clothes_ESD_cleanroom.jpg

Which is not that uncommon in the tech sector, albeit should be useless for server room who have to be climate controlled and properly grounded. Without fooking synthetic carpets...

Previous jobs had some macs in sterile labs... a bit of an ordeal to go to maintain them.
On the opposite side the server room was often muddy when it rained too much and required rubber boots...

The hats were just like that. Totally and completely pointless in a bog standard server room, much as you see in any mid sized office.

The outfit was a tight fitting bright blue polyester garment which had no purpose whatsoever, other than to strip people of their identity. The production area was not "clean" by any means, these garments were being used for more "sinister" purposes, in my view.

What really annoyed me was that any attempt to "personalise" my attire was quickly dealt with. Being a bit of a rebel, I put my hat on backwards, until somebody kindly corrected it for me. I then turned my collar up, but once again i quickly felt someones hands on my person to correct my foolish ways.

"Please stop making me change my clothes, wear funny hats, complete needlessly complicated forms and telling me about about crime in the UK" I begged.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

"Please stop making me change my clothes, wear funny hats, complete needlessly complicated forms and telling me about about crime in the UK" I begged.

Have you got a tattoo?

[Papa-Lazarou]

Did they really have to stay in the room and watch me undress and escort me to the bathroom every single time i needed to go, for 4 weeks on site?

Either they considered me too stupid to find my way back from he bathroom down the hall and get changed by myself, or were worried i might steal something as soon as their back was turned.


They were right, as it happens.

[GomiGirl]

Did they really have to stay in the room and watch me undress and escort me to the bathroom every single time i needed to go, for 4 weeks on site?

Nope didnt need to but they probably took it in turns to do it for the sheer perve factor. Maybe there was even a roster of volunteers. Are you cute?

[Coligny]

Last time I was escorted to the loo there was no survivor left...

Seems even the decon team got casualties... plus the psychological scars for the survivors...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Last time I was escorted to the loo there was no survivor left...

Seems even the decon team got casualties... plus the psychological scars for the survivors...

Impressive. Best French fartist since Pepe le Pew...
Just a hint of what you're up against...hard to see, but this is what I call the warm-up....

[Papa-Lazarou]

Did they really have to stay in the room and watch me undress and escort me to the bathroom every single time i needed to go, for 4 weeks on site?

Nope didnt need to but they probably took it in turns to do it for the sheer perve factor. Maybe there was even a roster of volunteers. Are you cute?

If overfed wino's are considered cute, then yes.

[Russell]

I have just been working in Tokyo for a month and was wondering if my experience working with a traditional Japanese company was in any way common?

The 75 year old boss of the company knew more about my home country than i do, even though he has never been there. For some reason he felt duty bound to tell me "facts" about the UK a regular intervals. Every single one of them was flat out wrong and each more ludicrous than the next. The 1st week started off with crime etc but by the 4th week it just got bizarre. During 1 meeting he pulled out this incredible steel object from his pocket and began to explain what it was, apparently we do not have nail clippers in the UK, that's a fact. I explained that this was not true, but I was over ruled, I was mistaken, you do not have these in the UK.

Is this a "face" thing then? Is this how the Japanese work?

Just tell him with a BIG smile on your face that you Brits don't have nail clippers because you don't have nails. It was only after you started to eat the excellent Japanese food that they started to grow on you.

He will get the point.

And if he is not too much of a moron, he will appreciate the humor.

Aahhh, reminds me of the time I just arrived in Japan two decades ago when my boss taught me that the tap water in Holland was not drinkable, because he had that experience when visiting Spain...

Gave me a lot of stress at the time, but I should have told him that in Holland no water comes out of taps, only beer, because we are a rich country. Alcoholic as he was, he would have appreciated that one.

[Russell]

I wanna hear more about the hat and the outfit you needed to change into... that is pure gold.

Probably something like this...