Question about student-teacher relations

[Martianman]

Hey I'm new here so go easy on me lol. Anyway, onto the subject of this topic, I am an 18 year old guy and I am an exchange student spending the year in Japan. I have to say it has been an absolute paradise so far and I am planning on coming back for college. The question I have involves relationships with teachers in Japanese schools. The reason I ask is because I have absolutely fallen head over heels for my 25 year old Japanese teacher. Unfortunately she is also an English teacher at the same school that I go to. What I'm wondering is, what should I do? I was planning on telling her how I feel right before I leave Japan in August after I graduate and then hope she's still free when I come back for college next year. I'd like to tell her before then but I realize that there are obviously some legal issues with this and so does anybody happen to know what the Japanese law is on relationships between students and teachers?

[Coligny]

Hey, i've seen dat movie, was it "big dick foreign exchange student super magic date rape drug happy rape rape rape party VII" ?

[yanpa]

Hey I'm new here

Welcome on board

so go easy on me lol.

Your complimentary bottle of lubricant is in the post

Anyway, onto the subject of this topic, I am an 18 year old guy and I am an exchange student spending the year in Japan. I have to say it has been an absolute paradise so far and I am planning on coming back for college. The question I have involves relationships with teachers in Japanese schools. The reason I ask is because I have absolutely fallen head over heels for my 25 year old Japanese teacher. Unfortunately she is also an English teacher at the same school that I go to. What I'm wondering is, what should I do? I was planning on telling her how I feel right before I leave Japan in August after I graduate and then hope she's still free when I come back for college next year. I'd like to tell her before then but I realize that there are obviously some legal issues with this and so does anybody happen to know what the Japanese law is on relationships between students and teachers?

I've never heard of any laws specifically regulating student-teacher relationships. AFAIK the same laws would apply that govern any relationship between an adult and a minor. 18 and 25 sounds more like a consenting adults thing anyway (but IANAL and all that).

On the other hand, if you're 18 and coming back as a student, let me introduce you to the words "fish", "barrel" and "shooting"

[yanpa]

Hey, i've seen dat movie, was it "big dick foreign exchange student super magic date rape drug happy rape rape rape party VII" ?

This is what happens to you when you marry an older Japanese woman

[Coligny]

How do you say "cougar" in japingo ?

[yanpa]

熟女 / jukujo

[Yokohammer]

What Coligny is trying to say, I think (translating loosely), is that you should probably not bother with "relationships" for a while. You'll be missing out on a whooole lot of experience (and fun) if you start getting involved and making promises at this point. If you're coming back for college, it'll be much better to come back unattached.

I know you're hot for teacher and probably can't see past that at the moment, but you really should trust us old farts on this one. There'll be plenty of time for relationships later.

So there it is ... the answer you didn't want.
But I'm pretty sure it's the right one.

[yanpa]

I thought Coligny was just mashing the keyboard at random. But yeah, it's what I was trying to say as well, albeit in a more oblique way.

[Yokohammer]

I thought Coligny was just mashing the keyboard at random. But yeah, it's what I was trying to say as well, albeit in a more oblique way.

My Colignese may be a bit rusty (and I'm not entirely sure that learning it in the first place was worth the effort), but I think that's what he meant. Or not. No matter. That's the whole point of Colignese ... it can mean whatever you want it to.

You, on the other hand, made yourself perfectly clear. It's just that I was posting at the same time as you and didn't get a chance to acknowledge your wisdom, which I have to agree is perfectly wise.

[yanpa]

I am much relieved to hear that, sometimes I am guilty of creating streams of verbiage which are succinct and to the point, unless you are not myself.

But I digress. 18 and in college in Japan? Fuck yeah. The biggest problem he'll have is scheduling.

[Coligny]

Pretty much...

18... with a dick... in Japan... Don't get sentimental or you're going to be a collateral damage soon...
Fuck what's undressing in front of you... keep the poetry for later...

(if he scores one with a Mercobenz... am gunna be hyper djealous.... again...)

[Iraira]

Ok...while I agree on the "18 and life to go" concept regarding avoiding relationships, let him have his Sylvia Kristel Private Lessons experience. Just ask her if she can have a drink (or play it even more safely, and suggest coffee) as a soon-to-be departing for awhile thingie. Let us know when and where you'll be having this, so we can gather for emotional support. Here a sample of how to ask her, "---------sensei, y'know, like, I'm...er......ummmm....well....(oh shit, why am I getting a spontaneous erection now?) I'm heading home for awhile, and if it's ok with you, I'd like to have coffee with you before I left, preferably at a love hotel."

Pearls of wisdom among the rot.

[wuchan]

shouldn't an 18yo gaijin in japan be following the 4 F rule?

[Martianman]

How do you say "cougar" in japingo ?

Well at least I don't have the hots for my other 2 Japanese teachers! One is 28 and the other is 32 and they're both single and pretty attractive but...too old for me lol. Learning Japanese from 3 beautiful women is the best way to learn Japanese lol.

[FG Lurker]

Learning Japanese from 3 beautiful women is the best way to learn Japanese lol.

Well it's certainly a good way to end up speaking Japanese while sounding very effeminate. If that's your thing then great. If not you might want to seek out a male teacher or two when you return.

As for declaring your feelings to your 25yo teacher: DON'T. Shag her if you can but don't make any promises or declarations of love. 18 and in Japan? You should be chasing every skirt you see, not trying to set up something serious with a 25yo.

[Coligny]

...unless she have a Mercobenz...

[Martianman]

Learning Japanese from 3 beautiful women is the best way to learn Japanese lol.

Well it's certainly a good way to end up speaking Japanese while sounding very effeminate. If that's your thing then great. If not you might want to seek out a male teacher or two when you return.

As for declaring your feelings to your 25yo teacher: DON'T. Shag her if you can but don't make any promises or declarations of love. 18 and in Japan? You should be chasing every skirt you see, not trying to set up something serious with a 25yo.

effeminate eh? In that case I'll try and find a male teacher when I come back for college.

[GomiGirl]

As for declaring your feelings to your 25yo teacher: DON'T. Shag her if you can but don't make any promises or declarations of love. 18 and in Japan? You should be chasing every skirt you see, not trying to set up something serious with a 25yo.

As one of the only females on this board, I feel I need to speak up.

Listen to this advice from FG lurker and the other guys. Dude - you are 18, foreign, single and in Japan. Talk about kid in a candy store. Life ain't ever going to hand you this sort of opportunity again so make the most of it. Some of the guys on this board would probably give their left nut to change places with you right now.

You might be feeling a bit homesick, lonely or needing some comfort and so this older, English speaking woman might be attractive to you right now. Nothing wrong with older women at all. But at 18, you shouldn't be looking at anything long term or serious with anybody.

[Martianman]

As for declaring your feelings to your 25yo teacher: DON'T. Shag her if you can but don't make any promises or declarations of love. 18 and in Japan? You should be chasing every skirt you see, not trying to set up something serious with a 25yo.

As one of the only females on this board, I feel I need to speak up.

Listen to this advice from FG lurker and the other guys. Dude - you are 18, foreign, single and in Japan. Talk about kid in a candy store. Life ain't ever going to hand you this sort of opportunity again so make the most of it. Some of the guys on this board would probably give their left nut to change places with you right now.

You might be feeling a bit homesick, lonely or needing some comfort and so this older, English speaking woman might be attractive to you right now. Nothing wrong with older women at all. But at 18, you shouldn't be looking at anything long term or serious with anybody.

I think you might be right about that last part. Still, I would like to at least leave that door open for when I come back in the future. I think you actually have zapped me back to reality a bit, thanks.

[J.A.F.O]

Tag her, if you still respect her after that.... you need to wash that down with some whiskey.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Listen to this advice from FG lurker and the other guys. Dude - you are 18, foreign, single and in Japan. Talk about kid in a candy store. Life ain't ever going to hand you this sort of opportunity again so make the most of it. Some of the guys on this board would probably give their left nut to change places with you right now.

Are you sure about that?

fat-cosplay.jpg

How do you say "cougar" in japingo ?

Well at least I don't have the hots for my other 2 Japanese teachers! One is 28 and the other is 32 and they're both single and pretty attractive but...too old for me lol. Learning Japanese from 3 beautiful women is the best way to learn Japanese lol.

25, 28, 32. They're all too young to be called cougars.

[Coligny]

25, 28, 32. They're all too young to be called cougars.

SO WRONG on this one... remember that the expiry date for jp00n is 30yo...

At 32 it might not even be cougar anymore, but stale leftover...

unless she haz a Mercobenz...

[Kanchou]

She's 25. You're not even old enough to be held legally responsible for your actions in this country.

Not to mention should would be putting her job in jeopardy.

It's not going to happen.

Go find a 20 year-old community college student.

[yanpa]

She's 25. You're not even old enough to be held legally responsible for your actions in this country.

Eh? He'd be tried in a family rather than a criminal court if he committed a criminal offence, but 18 is well past the minimum age of criminal responsibility, which is 12 (I think). Provides he sticks with consenting partners aged 18 or older that won't be an issue anyway. Just don't drink or smoke for another two years...

[GomiGirl]

You might be feeling a bit homesick, lonely or needing some comfort and so this older, English speaking woman might be attractive to you right now. Nothing wrong with older women at all. But at 18, you shouldn't be looking at anything long term or serious with anybody.

I think you might be right about that last part. Still, I would like to at least leave that door open for when I come back in the future. I think you actually have zapped me back to reality a bit, thanks.

Also that the girls at high school here seem really silly and young compared to girls from home. So get somebody suggested hanging out with some community college chicks or even if you can find some returnee friends you might have more in common with the high school kids from school.

You will find it easier if you do come back for university. School kids can be a little juvenile.

[Martianman]

You might be feeling a bit homesick, lonely or needing some comfort and so this older, English speaking woman might be attractive to you right now. Nothing wrong with older women at all. But at 18, you shouldn't be looking at anything long term or serious with anybody.

I think you might be right about that last part. Still, I would like to at least leave that door open for when I come back in the future. I think you actually have zapped me back to reality a bit, thanks.

Also that the girls at high school here seem really silly and young compared to girls from home. So get somebody suggested hanging out with some community college chicks or even if you can find some returnee friends you might have more in common with the high school kids from school.

You will find it easier if you do come back for university. School kids can be a little juvenile.

Yeah the high school girls here are really nice to have as friends but getting involved in relationships with them seems a bit dangerous to me.They're so unstable its like going on an emotional roller coaster. To be honest though I actually like them better than the high school girls back home though.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Let me guess. You like anime.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

FWIW, 18 is still a minor in Japan and any relationship would be subjected to the two-year age difference law. Should the teacher partake of any indecent act with you, she would be liable for prosecution. It's unlikely the police would purse a case (most of these ordinances were drawn up to combat enjo kosai, where schoolgirls sold themselves to dirty old men of my age), but it's not impossible.
That's assuming your love is reciprocated, which you'd probably want to check out first before you worry about anything else.
Agree with everybody else about the 18 part. You should be fucking yourself silly with the only attachment on your mind being the prophylactic on the end of your willy.

[GomiGirl]

Yeah the high school girls here are really nice to have as friends but getting involved in relationships with them seems a bit dangerous to me.They're so unstable its like going on an emotional roller coaster.

Welcome to Japan. This doesn't stop at high school for many girls and this emotional instability can carry right through until menopause. So many scary horror stories - Chokko can probably tell you some good stories - but then again, many people say that the crazy ones are the best in the sack.

But that is not the entire female population. There are plenty of normal, well adjusted J-girls. But they look just the same as the crazy ones so you have to be careful and keep your wits about you.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Yeah the high school girls here are really nice to have as friends but getting involved in relationships with them seems a bit dangerous to me.They're so unstable its like going on an emotional roller coaster.

Welcome to Japan.

Welcome to women.