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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ F*cked News

Is it just me, or...

Odd news from Japan and all things Japanese around the world.
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11 posts • Page 1 of 1

Is it just me, or...

Postby Kanchou » Mon Mar 04, 2013 9:17 pm

...does Beat Takeshi have no business hosting a politics show? All he does every week is sit there while people yell at each other.
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Re: Is it just me, or...

Postby Russell » Mon Mar 04, 2013 9:23 pm

Isn't that what politics is all about?!?
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Re: Is it just me, or...

Postby legion » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:13 pm

I was once ruminating that Japan doesn't seem to have produced any famous philosophers and she who must be obeyed suggested BT is the closest they have.

So maybe he is exuding minimal existentialism or something
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Re: Is it just me, or...

Postby Kanchou » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:38 pm

Or he simply doesn't have the education or intellect to do more than make yakuza movies or low-brow comedy.
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Re: Is it just me, or...

Postby Coligny » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:59 pm

They lead the world in barracks room humor thanks to Ishihara, they can't have everything...
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Re: Is it just me, or...

Postby Coligny » Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:04 pm

legion wrote:I was once ruminating that Japan doesn't seem to have produced any famous philosophers and she who must be obeyed suggested BT is the closest they have.

So maybe he is exuding minimal existentialism or something



I never have this kind of problem at home...

Everytime she slips into a "we japanese" she usually bite her lips and give up ending her sentence...

(if you think "we japanese" people are annoying... don't go anywhere near a "we french" guy... Even at losing wars we are the best in town...)
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Postby Mike Oxlong » Sat May 11, 2013 1:36 pm

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says
Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and you'd be happy about it.'
•I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery.•
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Re:

Postby wagyl » Sat May 11, 2013 7:36 pm

Mike Oxlong wrote:The IRS decides to audit Grandpa


Haha great story there, and even if it has nothing to do with the thread I am prepared to appreciate it in all its misplaced glory.

To save my post being no more than "haha but why is that here?" I now post a tangentially related youtube. Those wanting to avoid mention of Baroness Thatcher's funeral, even in satire, can forward to 1:53 for the relevant comment.
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Re: Is it just me, or...

Postby Russell » Sat May 11, 2013 10:17 pm

Wagyl, I don't know how this video relates to this thread, or even to Mike's post, but it is hilarious!

:keyboardcoffee:
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Re: Is it just me, or...

Postby Mike Oxlong » Sun May 12, 2013 12:35 am

Oops, meant to post that in "More non-PC fun", but botched the job. Maybe a mod could fix that...
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Re: Is it just me, or...

Postby wagyl » Sun May 12, 2013 9:22 am

It is worth posting twice, post it there as well.
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