What options do I have?

[matsuki]

So....one of the brands I import, even though I own the rights and everything, I basically market/sell with this dude I've known for the past 4 years. He's already in the same industry and operates a shop right in front of his home.

As of the middle of May, he just totally stopped responding to me. No responses by e-mail, facebook, won't take my calls, etc. etc. Really fuckign weird.

While he has a few unpaid invoices for his own shop, it's about equal to what he's owed from this past year's profit so I don't see why it would be a money issue. The problem I'm having now is all the PR goods are at his place in Gunma. (about a million yen worth but most of it can't be sold so I don't see why he's want to withhold it) If he wants to quit, nothing I can do about that but acting like a lemur and just avoiding any communication is getting really sketchy. He's been tagged on facebook as of yesterday, having fun at a BBQ with friends so it's not like he's locked up or unable to reply to me. I have absolutely no idea why he's decided to avoid me but after two months of trying to get a response, I'm at the point where I need to take some action as I have orders for some of the inventory he has.

I have all the receipts for what he has and images of the stuff at his home/shop. Worst comes to worst, what are my options when it comes to trying to recover this stuff? J-police are obviously an option but I have my doubts as to how helpful they will be. Being FG, I can imagine what a not so friendly confrontation at his home\shop my result in. Any advice?

[wagyl]

I would visit the Gunma site during office hours, for a start. I know that is a hassle (especially in summer!!) but a surprise face-to-face may be enough to sort out what he plans for his future. At least do this before involving the police (and I don't know what basis you would have involving the police because I don't think "he won't return my calls" will be enough to get them off their seats)... just think how you would feel if you had been passively avoiding someone for a couple of months and they turned up with the cops all of a sudden.

As to your worst case scenario: that all depends on what kind of agreement or arrangement you have between you, and how well you have documented it. Might he play it swift and charge you for storage of PR materials and stuff like that? Those are the sorts of things for you to think about.

[matsuki]

I would visit the Gunma site during office hours, for a start. I know that is a hassle (especially in summer!!) but a surprise face-to-face may be enough to sort out what he plans for his future. At least do this before involving the police (and I don't know what basis you would have involving the police because I don't think "he won't return my calls" will be enough to get them off their seats)... just think how you would feel if you had been passively avoiding someone for a couple of months and they turned up with the cops all of a sudden.

As to your worst case scenario: that all depends on what kind of agreement or arrangement you have between you, and how well you have documented it. Might he play it swift and charge you for storage of PR materials and stuff like that? Those are the sorts of things for you to think about.

True...I can always leave if things get heated. Never fought with this guy ever so probably won't come to that but TIJ so just thinking of worst case scenarios. The whole thing is just weird as I've spent time with his family before, he's been to the US with me, and if this whole thing isn't about money, I have no idea what it is about. Time to see if I can hitch a ride there and surprise him...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

...if this whole thing isn't about money, I have no idea what it is about...

Have you severed it yet?

[legion]

Call him from a different number

[GomiGirl]

Call from a different number to his office number to make sure he is still in business and then drop by.

Go casually.

He might be having some issues unrelated to you but not able to give you the time/energy he thinks you need so is just avoiding you. Probably nothing personal but give it a shot.

Be prepared to take the stuff you need away from him.

BTW it is you who owe him money?

[matsuki]

So I finally last night I got a keitai e-mail response from him basically saying he has been really "troubled." Then he says up until a few days ago he's had"ノイローゼ" (neurosis?) and I'm to blame for it. (WTF?) Then he says he'll call me later to talk about it. I replied twice asking what it was about and what time he wanted to talk and never got a call back. So yeah...will try to get back in touch with him today and find out what he's on about. I guess it's better than no response or a "fuck you, this is all my shit!" reply.

GG- he's owed profit from the business but his shop has a few unpaid invoices that's basically a wash....which is why I didn't think it was about money. The trouble is he's got all the company display equipment, products and a very small amount of inventory at his shop.

[wagyl]

OK, this moves things on a stage. I would avoid all blame apportionment, and just accept that this relationship is no longer viable for either of you. I would sort out a time to go and collect everything you need that is at his place and square off the accounts.

[matsuki]

K, this moves things on a stage. I would avoid all blame apportionment, and just accept that this relationship is no longer viable for either of you. I would sort out a time to go and collect everything you need that is at his place and square off the accounts.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. I may not want to cut him off completely but at the same time, I don't want him in possession of the PR equipment nor receiving goods before they're paid.

As to neurosis...

In her final book, Neurosis and Human Growth, Karen Horney laid out a complete theory on the origin and dynamics of neurosis. In essence, neurosis is a distorted way of looking at the world and at oneself, determined by compulsive needs rather than by a genuine interest in the world as it is. She proposes that it is transmitted to a child from his or her early environment. She states that there are a large number of ways this can happen

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurosis

[wagyl]

OK, this is advice you haven't asked for but you are getting it anyway. Trying to understand the neurosis comment, a concept developed in German by Freud, whose theories are regarded as possibly accurate for fin-de-siecle Jewish bourgeoisie in Vienna but not terribly accurate for any other cultures, where he is looking at it through a Japanese filter and you are looking at it through an American filter, will have no positive outcome. Whether the neurosis story is true or bullshit, the final outcome either way is that for whatever reason this guy no longer wants to be doing business with you, and you now feel the same because there is no effective communication between you. Do what you can to divert the other guy thinking about you being a person at fault here, by not raising the issue of fault at all. Strictly business, a clean break. Either he buys your part of the partnership, you buy his (if these part shares are worth anything), or you split things somehow. Being drawn into a blaming match is not going to make things easier, and I am guessing but I don't think it will make the financial side of this split any better either. Doing this without burning any bridges is the aim.

[matsuki]

OK, this is advice you haven't asked for but you are getting it anyway. Trying to understand the neurosis comment, a concept developed in German by Freud, whose theories are regarded as possibly accurate for fin-de-siecle Jewish bourgeoisie in Vienna but not terribly accurate for any other cultures, where he is looking at it through a Japanese filter and you are looking at it through an American filter, will have no positive outcome. Whether the neurosis story is true or bullshit, the final outcome either way is that for whatever reason this guy no longer wants to be doing business with you, and you now feel the same because there is no effective communication between you. Do what you can to divert the other guy thinking about you being a person at fault here, by not raising the issue of fault at all. Strictly business, a clean break. Either he buys your part of the partnership, you buy his (if these part shares are worth anything), or you split things somehow. Being drawn into a blaming match is not going to make things easier, and I am guessing but I don't think it will make the financial side of this split any better either. Doing this without burning any bridges is the aim.

Exactly the approach I'm taking...trying to avoid the shit slingin' all together and just said I want to resolve whatever he's upset about. I've got my opinion of the whole neurosis issue but bringing that into the conversation is not going to do anything but entrench him in his beliefs and work against me achieving a decent resolution here.

[Samurai_Jerk]

ノイローゼ might literally mean neurosis but he probably just means he's been extremely stressed out because of you to the point that he can't deal with it. That's how the term is generally used in my experience. Not knowing anything about you or how you do business it's hard to say whether or not his feelings are justified but he obviously isn't handling this in a professional manner.

[wagyl]

Good one. I suggest one amendment:

ノイローゼ might literally mean neurosis but he probably just means he's been extremely stressed out because of you the situation to the point that he can't deal with it. That's how the term is generally used in my experience. Not knowing anything about you or how you do business it's hard to say whether or not his feelings are justified but he obviously isn't handling this in a professional manner.

Weasel words help society operate more smoothly.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Good one. I suggest one amendment:

ノイローゼ might literally mean neurosis but he probably just means he's been extremely stressed out because of you the situation to the point that he can't deal with it. That's how the term is generally used in my experience. Not knowing anything about you or how you do business it's hard to say whether or not his feelings are justified but he obviously isn't handling this in a professional manner.

Weasel words help society operate more smoothly.

Except that choko already said the noiroze was his fault.

[Coligny]

Good one. I suggest one amendment:

ノイローゼ might literally mean neurosis but he probably just means he's been extremely stressed out because of you the situation to the point that he can't deal with it. That's how the term is generally used in my experience. Not knowing anything about you or how you do business it's hard to say whether or not his feelings are justified but he obviously isn't handling this in a professional manner.

Weasel words help society operate more smoothly.

In my experience weasel words just allow me to strike out more names from my already short address book...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weasel_word

[matsuki]

He called at like 11:30pm last night while I was passed out....returned the call at noon today and no answer.

Sent an e-mail yesterday asking him to ship an item to a customer who was in urgent need of it....and asking him what he wants to do with a custom item he ordered and (months ago) said was urgent. No replies to the e-mail at all.

One of his friends I had ask him to contact me said "He was really upset at you but I don't know why??"

I still have no idea WTF he's upset about...

[Samurai_Jerk]

He called at like 11:30pm last night while I was passed out....returned the call at noon today and no answer.

Sent an e-mail yesterday asking him to ship an item to a customer who was in urgent need of it....and asking him what he wants to do with a custom item he ordered and (months ago) said was urgent. No replies to the e-mail at all.

One of his friends I had ask him to contact me said "He was really upset at you but I don't know why??"

I still have no idea WTF he's upset about...

Ever bag any random hos in his neck of the woods?

[matsuki]

He called at like 11:30pm last night while I was passed out....returned the call at noon today and no answer.

Sent an e-mail yesterday asking him to ship an item to a customer who was in urgent need of it....and asking him what he wants to do with a custom item he ordered and (months ago) said was urgent. No replies to the e-mail at all.

One of his friends I had ask him to contact me said "He was really upset at you but I don't know why??"

I still have no idea WTF he's upset about...

Ever bag any random hos in his neck of the woods?

Gunma? Nope...and with no siblings and his daughter is only 5 I don't think that could be it. Never broke the man-code and his wife didn't look too angry at him in the recent pics either so I doubt that's it. The only thing I can think of is an order a few months ago where the post office literally misshipped the stuff to Australia and it was stuck in Australian customs for a week before being rerouted to Japan and delivered over a month late. He may have taken a lot of heat from a customer over it but he knows shit like that can happen with international shipping and the tracking info with all the shitty details was available to show the customer what was up. I didn't drop the ball there but seeing how he's blaming his mental state, maybe he's retreating to a state of mind where anything fucked up from gaikoku is simply the gaijin's fault??

[matsuki]

If anyone cares, it seems to be what I thought. He took a lot of heat from a customer over the shitty delivery time and another customer over quality issues of another brand/product we already dropped months ago.....but of course since I'm the one that introduced the products to him, the blame for his loss of face is all on me. (Though like I originally mentioned, been at this with him 4 years..this type of shit is nothing new and I am always warning customers about the possibility of shipping delays when they place orders.)

[Samurai_Jerk]

If anyone cares, it seems to be what I thought. He took a lot of heat from a customer over the shitty delivery time and another customer over quality issues of another brand/product we already dropped months ago.....but of course since I'm the one that introduced the products to him, the blame for his loss of face is all on me. (Though like I originally mentioned, been at this with him 4 years..this type of shit is nothing new and I am always warning customers about the possibility of shipping delays when they place orders.)

Sounds like this guy doesn't have the sack to do business in the real world.

[matsuki]

Sounds like this guy doesn't have the sack to do business in the real world.

That's my take on it as well...J-suppliers are not immune from fucking shit up either, if one can't handle consoling/straightening out customers, they shouldn't be in business.