Baiting with your nuts

[Russell]

Men in Sweden warned after sighting of testicle-eating fish

It sounds like the plot to a low-budget horror movie but the discovery of a 21cm fish off Sweden's southern coast should unsettle any man thinking of going for a swim there.

Experts have warned men to keep their swimwear on if swimming in the Øresund channel between Denmark and Sweden after a fisherman discovered a pacu fish - dubbed the “ball cutter” for its habit of attacking male genitalia.

According to The Daily Telegraph, The National History Museum in Denmark has warned that there may be more of the sharp-toothed fish out there.

The pacu, a relative of the piranha that is commonly found around the Amazon, can grow to up to 90cm and weigh in at a staggering 25kg. Fishermen in South America attacked by the pacu have reportedly bled to death after losing their testicles in the fish's vicious teeth.

This is the first time a pacu has been caught in Europe, according to the museum.

“The pacu is not normally dangerous to people but it has quite a serious bite, there have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea, where some men have had their testicles bitten off,” said Henrik Carl, a fish expert at the Danish museum, speaking to The Local, an English-language newspaper in Sweden.

“They bite because they're hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth,” he told the paper.

Carl was keen to tell swimmers not to worry too much. “You're more likely to drown than get your nuts bitten off,” he said.

The fish are found in most rivers in the Amazon and Orinoco basins in South America and have also been spotted in Papua New Guinea, where they are believed to have been introduced in order to boost fish stocks.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Men in Sweden warned after sighting of testicle-eating fish

It sounds like the plot to a low-budget horror movie but the discovery of a 21cm fish off Sweden's southern coast should unsettle any man thinking of going for a swim there.

I'm just surprised that balls still protrude in the water off Sweden's south coast....global warming must be working.

[wagyl]

I think this might be the equivalent of an eyeball licking story.

The source for the PNG testical victims element is "The locals told me that..." from an interview with a person promoting his intrepid extreme fishing show in the Daily Fail, clickbaiter par excellence (in fact it baits using balls).

The Independent, which Russell linked, is reporting what the Daily Telegraph reported (I love media as a source of news).

More than that, I am very surprised that a freshwater tropical fish is living in the Øresund. I would think it was too briny and too cool.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

I think this might be the equivalent of an eyeball licking story.

The source for the PNG testical victims element is "The locals told me that..." from an interview with a person promoting his intrepid extreme fishing show in the Daily Fail, clickbaiter par excellence (in fact it baits using balls).

The Independent, which Russell linked, is reporting what the Daily Telegraph reported (I love media as a source of news).

More than that, I am very surprised that a freshwater tropical fish is living in the Øresund. I would think it was too briny and too cool.

Will you stop ruining perfectly good stories with goddamned facts.

[Russell]

The sea near Sweden may be too cold, but I wonder what happens if these fish show up at Japan's coast.

[wagyl]

They are river fish. Salt water is toxic to them.

The manine environment between Japan and for example New Guinea is similar enough for many species to share that range, for example the Blue Ringed Octopus. It is harder for river fish to make that leap, especially as the rivers here will not maintain a tropical temperature.

[yanpa]

The sea near Sweden may be too cold, but I wonder what happens if these fish show up at Japan's coast.

Unless the radioactive seawater causes them to mutate, I suspect wagyl's observation about them being freshwater fish will continue to hold true.

Pacu (Portuguese pronunciation: [paˈku]) is a common name used to refer to several common species of omnivorous South American freshwater fish

Also, I wonder if some excitable churnalist misread one of their primary sources?

While they are not aggressive carnivores like the piranha, their crushing jaw system, used primarily for eating seeds and nuts,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacu

[wagyl]

The wiki also was where I tracked down the PNG balls from the Daily Fail source.

In New Guinea

Pacu were introduced in 1994 to the Sepik River, and in 1997 to the Ramu river as a food source, due to overfishing of native species. Local people blame the fish for outcompeting native species, including juvenile crocodiles, as well as for several attacks on humans.[42] Two fishermen reportedly died from having their testicles ripped off by pacus.[43]

Both those sources are this X-treme fisherman guy promoting his TV show.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

They are river fish. Salt water is toxic to them.

The manine environment between Japan and for example New Guinea is similar enough for many species to share that range, for example the Blue Ringed Octopus. It is harder for river fish to make that leap, especially as the rivers here will not maintain a tropical temperature.

Well, maybe all the radiation will neutralize the salt, so we'll have knackered zombies that glow in the dark....

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

The sea near Sweden may be too cold, but I wonder what happens if these fish show up at Japan's coast.

Unless the radioactive seawater causes them to mutate, I suspect wagyl's observation about them being freshwater fish will continue to hold true.

Pacu (Portuguese pronunciation: [paˈku]) is a common name used to refer to several common species of omnivorous South American freshwater fish

Also, I wonder if some excitable churnalist misread one of their primary sources?

While they are not aggressive carnivores like the piranha, their crushing jaw system, used primarily for eating seeds and nuts,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacu

I think we've posted simultaneously with a (frighteningly) close forecast of what may eventuate...

[wagyl]

I have found the self-described "extreme angler's" show. He attributes the testicle accidents story to "a couple of internet reports." http://animal.discovery.com/tv-shows/ri ... r-fish.htm

Yeah, well I can find a few reports on the internet about KB at Narita. And eyelicking preteens.

Science suggests that that other fish horror story is just a myth as well.

[wagyl]

OMG, the real truth about this fish!!!

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

OMG, the real truth about this fish!!!

[Russell]

So you guys think it is safe to get a BJ from a fish? (Warning: NSFW)

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

So you guys think it is safe to get a BJ from a fish? (Warning: NSFW)

Um, Russell, how did you know where to get that vid?

[Russell]

Google is my friend.

Regardless of how fishy it may be...

[wagyl]

Which begs the question: WTF were you asking Google?

Oh, and to answer your question.. it didn't look to me that either the guy or the fish were getting much joy out of the encounter. It is probably safe, depending on your variety of fish, but I am not sure if it is OK.

[Russell]

Which begs the question: WTF were you asking Google?

Let's say it is a case of "Acute Creative Personality Syndrome".

And I wanted to know how long it would take before this topic ends up in "Beyond F*cked".

Anyway, thanks for reassuring me...

[wagyl]

Trying to hide the fact that you were duped by clickbait journalism, by getting this thread shunted off to Beyond Fucked? Tsk tsk.

I was actually asking what terms you searched for to get to that video. Google has linked your internet connection with an interesting search history.

[Russell]

Since my search history covers all of the spectrum, it all cancels out, and I am probably the only world citizen with unbiased search results from Google...

Click-bait journalism: hardly feel myself a victim here. If a topic sounds interesting for FG, I post it. This site is not about verisimilitude, as far as I remember...

[wagyl]

But what if verisimilitude turns up on Japan's coast?

Just kidding.

(That will never happen.)

I also note that you have avoided the question about your search query terms again. Fine. Keep your secret.

[Coligny]

Since my search history covers all of the spectrum,

ZSU-23-4_Afganistan.jpg

FUCK YOU

I use bing now... tired of this googly nonsenses...

[Russell]

I also note that you have avoided the question about your search query terms again. Fine. Keep your secret.

You keep asking that question; kind of desperate?

But fine, here is my search term: "blowjob by fish", and the first result is the link. Told you, my Google search results are unbiased.

BTW, do you now understand why those giant carps are called "Koi" in Japan (pun intended).

And now you also know why those fish are so expensive in Asia...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

I also note that you have avoided the question about your search query terms again. Fine. Keep your secret.

You keep asking that question; kind of desperate?

But fine, here is my search term: "blowjob by fish", and the first result is the link. Told you, my Google search results are unbiased.

BTW, do you now understand why those giant carps are called "Koi" in Japan (pun intended).

And now you also know why those fish are so expensive in Asia...

I also now know why the word koi means "love" (unless you're a Western tattoo artist, when there's a high likelihood it means "strange," and vice versa.)

[Coligny]

I also now know why the word koi means "love" (unless you're a Western tattoo artist, when there's a high likelihood it means "strange," and vice versa.)

Yeah, that's what i truly love with that language... Every 'things' have 20 words to call or describe them and their opposite depending on where you are from and every word stand for 20 different things and their opposite too... (That you of course can write with 10 kanjis each and half a dozen combination of hiragana and craptakana) At this point you wonder why they even bother calling it a language and we are wayyy past the mediocrity of a pidgin... just a random clusterfuck but you have to be a true nipponjin to be allowed to play that game... If not you are just a dirty fureigner unable to understand the subtulty (emmm randomness) of the japanese language...

[Russell]

Pacu eats frog.

[Coligny]

Pacu eats frog.

HEY you didun't warn there was no sex involved... Shame on you...

[Samurai_Jerk]

I also now know why the word koi means "love" (unless you're a Western tattoo artist, when there's a high likelihood it means "strange," and vice versa.)

Yeah, that's what i truly love with that language... Every 'things' have 20 words to call or describe them and their opposite depending on where you are from and every word stand for 20 different things and their opposite too... (That you of course can write with 10 kanjis each and half a dozen combination of hiragana and craptakana) At this point you wonder why they even bother calling it a language and we are wayyy past the mediocrity of a pidgin... just a random clusterfuck but you have to be a true nipponjin to be allowed to play that game... If not you are just a dirty fureigner unable to understand the subtulty (emmm randomness) of the japanese language...

Yes, you're quite qualified to comment on the language.

[Coligny]

I love that kind of answer...

Do I need to be a rubber vulcanisation specialist to tell if tires are crap ?

Do I need an electrical engineering degree to tell if my remote control is broken ?

Do I need to a Phd in fluid dynamics to realize that my loo is clogged ?

Do I need Toefl level brazilion to realize that a language is a clusterfuck ? Do you know how many time some idiots tell me face to face after having a conversation with my wife or mom in law (thinking it was my wife instead) that her French accent was making her japanese too difficult too understand and asked if next time they could speak to a japanese person instead ? How many politician use that trick on a daily basis saying that in their village the sentence have an opposite meaning ?
I spent my evening yesterday to find how to say the word 'diesel'... go, check yourself... the number of words and writings including kanjis is amazing... when there should be only ONE: the name of the (Parisian born BTW) Rudolf Christian Karl Diesel.

So be cute, take your pill for that anger management issue/case of the monday and came back to us as the little ray of sunchine you can be when you put a little effort into it...
(or I ask сука to only feed you cold freeze dried borsch for the next month...)

[Russell]

HEY you didun't warn there was no sex involved... Shame on you...

You wanted a warning SFW?!? Does it make any difference to you whether it is suitable or not for Work?