46 things that surprise FG in Japan

[Russell]

fucking crazy prices for fruit and they are not even that good. I am from Cali... so I might be a little spoiled. And no, Japanese strawberries are not good, neither are their apples with ass loads of wax on it.

I still remember the strawberries when I lived in SF: they were that bad. Very hard and dry. Complete shit. That was more than 15 years ago, so maybe they have improved, but I still get nightmares from them.

Not sure about the bread.. but it is tasty...

It has become better over the last decades, but it is not yet up to European standards. Problem with many bakeries in Japan is all the stuff (cream, red bean paste, sausages, etc) they put in bread. Really disgusting.

The bakery in the MaxValue in my neighborhood has pretty good French bread, though.

Brown bread in Japan: not good enough for me, so I make it myself by a bread machine.

[Samurai_Jerk]

By the way, I'm surprised none of you ugly mother fuckers has responded to #46 yet.

[Russell]

By the way, I'm surprised none of you ugly mother fuckers has responded to #46 yet.

46. The foreign guys dating beautiful Japanese girls are often ugly

But isn't that the reason why they can't get a date in Hong Kong?!?

[Russell]

OK, you guys don't want to miss this: The top 10 words to describe Japanese people (according to foreigners)

1. Polite
2. Punctual
3. Kind
4. Hard-working
5. Respectful
6. Shy
7. Intelligent
8. Grouping

Not to be confused with: Groping

9. Formal
10. Clean

Maybe I should make a separate thread for this...

[Samurai_Jerk]

I'm surprised war criminal didn't make the top ten.

[Coligny]

By the way, I'm surprised none of you ugly mother fuckers has responded to #46 yet.

D00d i'm gorgeous, I make all them mamas horny...

[yanpa]

By the way, I'm surprised none of you ugly mother fuckers has responded to #46 yet.

D00d i'm gorgeous, I make all them mamas horny...

I thought that was Choko's job

[Coligny]

Teamwork d00d... I'm the head of the south aichi branch, he got... The rest of the country in fact...

[matsuki]

3. Bullshit - the bread here is so full of shortening and other kinds of crap the rolls grow their own tits.

....it's not working

27. People politely line up to wait for the train

I just elbowed the same woman on the face for the 2nd time this month. Something really off about the station near my office...noone waits to the sides of the door, rather, right in front of the doors despite seeing there are people about to get off. Already had one altercation because of it but the eki staff shut em down really quickly. It's definitely not as bad as in other countries but the "super polite" train manners here that are touted all the time, are getting ignored more and more. Honestly, I could give a shit if someone has a snack, drink or takes a phone call while on the train but the ones I always encounter always have some shitty ringtone at full volume, talk as if they are yelling across a room, and slap their lips/chew like goats. I started holding my phone up as if I'm taking video and get either a deer in headlights look or a angry "WTF are you doing?!" reaction. (I'll let you guess which one is more fun)

I don't mind the elbows being thrown now and then. What annoys the fuck out me is that last motherfucker who has to get on the train, who does reverse pelvic thrusts to make room for himself using his ass....like the motherfucker is trying to twerk his way on the train. Elbows are not impersonal, but that ass push is, and the perp (usually over 40, lots of combover, and wearing a 500 yen Y-shirt) deserves hot liquid death shoved up his ass along with a California redwood.

I just started pushing them back off the train. The reaction every time so far has been a quick dash to a different door so I'd say it's pretty effective. Even the bigger assholes, given the urgency, don't do more than give you a dirty look.

OK, you guys don't want to miss this: The top 10 words to describe Japanese people (according to foreigners)

1. Polite

Eating with most Japanese men would change anyone's view on this. Table manners aside, how about sneezing loud enough to cause another 3-11? WTF is with that shit? The annoyingly loud donkey laughs are just as bad as a table of fugly j-girls laughing in unison.

By the way, I'm surprised none of you ugly mother fuckers has responded to #46 yet.

D00d i'm gorgeous, I make all them mamas horny...

I thought that was Choko's job

Get it right, I make all the hornies mama's

[IparryU]

fucking crazy prices for fruit and they are not even that good. I am from Cali... so I might be a little spoiled. And no, Japanese strawberries are not good, neither are their apples with ass loads of wax on it.

I still remember the strawberries when I lived in SF: they were that bad. Very hard and dry. Complete shit. That was more than 15 years ago, so maybe they have improved, but I still get nightmares from them.

Not sure about the bread.. but it is tasty...

It has become better over the last decades, but it is not yet up to European standards. Problem with many bakeries in Japan is all the stuff (cream, red bean paste, sausages, etc) they put in bread. Really disgusting.

The bakery in the MaxValue in my neighborhood has pretty good French bread, though.

Brown bread in Japan: not good enough for me, so I make it myself by a bread machine.

not sure what strawberries you were eating... but they have always been good. i am from a farm and i am a Mexican't... so i get the ... freshly picked ones so to speak.

I cant stand it when Js try to japanize everything... not to mention copying bridges... towers... etc.

[Samurai_Jerk]

fucking crazy prices for fruit and they are not even that good. I am from Cali... so I might be a little spoiled. And no, Japanese strawberries are not good, neither are their apples with ass loads of wax on it.

I still remember the strawberries when I lived in SF: they were that bad. Very hard and dry. Complete shit. That was more than 15 years ago, so maybe they have improved, but I still get nightmares from them.

Not sure about the bread.. but it is tasty...

It has become better over the last decades, but it is not yet up to European standards. Problem with many bakeries in Japan is all the stuff (cream, red bean paste, sausages, etc) they put in bread. Really disgusting.

The bakery in the MaxValue in my neighborhood has pretty good French bread, though.

Brown bread in Japan: not good enough for me, so I make it myself by a bread machine.

not sure what strawberries you were eating... but they have always been good. i am from a farm and i am a Mexican't... so i get the ... freshly picked ones so to speak.

I cant stand it when Js try to japanize everything... not to mention copying bridges... towers... etc.

I'm with Russell. The produce in CA and the on the West Coast in general sucks balls. Much better from the farmers markets on the East Coast.

[6810]

fucking crazy prices for fruit and they are not even that good. I am from Cali... so I might be a little spoiled. And no, Japanese strawberries are not good, neither are their apples with ass loads of wax on it.

I still remember the strawberries when I lived in SF: they were that bad. Very hard and dry. Complete shit. That was more than 15 years ago, so maybe they have improved, but I still get nightmares from them.

Not sure about the bread.. but it is tasty...

It has become better over the last decades, but it is not yet up to European standards. PLUS

The bakery in the MaxValue in my neighborhood has pretty good French bread, though. PLUS

Brown bread in Japan: not good enough for me, so I make it myself by a bread machine.

Think I need to start a new thread... shit gaijin say... again and again...

Really? There are dozens of local bakeries in my area alone. I have never bought bread from a bakery in a Maxvalue, valor, ito yokado etc Why would you when there are so many indies out there getting it right. I strongly suggest gaijin hating on Japanese bread read the local print publications that circulate for free. Major heads up every month from several perspectives. Plus you get discount coupons and shit.

No decent brown bread? Hell, a ten minute bike ride in three directions will put excellent quality wild yeast, sourdough or traditionally raised (ie packet yeast) in my hands for a pittance. It will have flavour and be all round excellent... surely good (and I might add affordable and hand made) bread isn't limited to my neck of the woods?

[Samurai_Jerk]

No decent brown bread? Hell, a ten minute bike ride in three directions will put excellent quality wild yeast, sourdough or traditionally raised (ie packet yeast) in my hands for a pittance. It will have flavour and be all round excellent... surely good (and I might add affordable and hand made) bread isn't limited to my neck of the woods?

Brown bread is still relatively rare even at good bakeries in Tokyo. Full of shit as usual.

[wagyl]

No decent brown bread? Hell, a ten minute bike ride in three directions will put excellent quality wild yeast, sourdough or traditionally raised (ie packet yeast) in my hands for a pittance. It will have flavour and be all round excellent... surely good (and I might add affordable and hand made) bread isn't limited to my neck of the woods?

Brown bread is still relatively rare even at good bakeries in Tokyo. Full of shit as usual.

The bread or the poster?

I suspect that 6810 might be a very lucky man. Or not so picky, which is another kind of luck.

I agree that the bakers in chains like MaxValu are just using frozen doughs they buy in bulk from a central supplier, and you can't expect anything extraordinary from them. However, finding a baker who puts in the effort and does things the labour intensive way will only happen when there is the clientele who demand it, and that is a very rare thing in this country. There was an earlier thread where I lamented the almost universal inclusion of sugar and fats in the breads here: I grew up eating bread which had been pre-fermented with a biga, and I miss that style of bread, but apart from the occasional ciabatta, I know I am asking for too much from this country to cater for me. Instead I have compromised with a bread I can live with even if it does not satisfy my soul.

[Samurai_Jerk]

The bread or the poster?

The poster. I'm not saying his situation isn't possible if you live somewhere like Shirokane in Tokyo. However, that's certainly not the case in most parts of Tokyo let alone Japan.

[Coligny]

Think I need to start a new thread... shit gaijin say... again and again...

Really? There are dozens of local bakeries in my area alone. I have never bought bread from a bakery in a Maxvalue, valor, ito yokado etc Why would you when there are so many indies out there getting it right. I strongly suggest gaijin hating on Japanese bread read the local print publications that circulate for free. Major heads up every month from several perspectives. Plus you get discount coupons and shit.

No decent brown bread? Hell, a ten minute bike ride in three directions will put excellent quality wild yeast, sourdough or traditionally raised (ie packet yeast) in my hands for a pittance. It will have flavour and be all round excellent... surely good (and I might add affordable and hand made) bread isn't limited to my neck of the woods?

I stop I every new bakery on my way no matter where I am, hungry or not. The 'local' bakery usually focus on the fancy shit for Japanese rich bored housewives. Max Value, Apita and Valor focus on basic good stuff. Valor even got full size fresh baked pizza for around 800Y. Not talking space saver spare wheel size, more the monster truck kind that can feed me from breakfast to insomnia for a whole weekend... Then after that I usually refuse to even hear the word pizza for a few weeks...

One thing getting boring as frack is that less and less are doing komeko pan. I switched 3 bakers already that stopped doing. For now, only the Eki baker still make them, but after that I'm out of local options. And going to Nagoya eki just for this... Not that I don't have the time, but going to Nagoya put knots in my stomach that I'd rather avoid.

For the frozen dough... That's the best for croissant... makes them crispier...
For the bread, I don't know, the local max value really use a shitload of normal bakery masheen tools to mix the dough that would seem totally useless if they were using a frozen one. Plus they use 'normal' baking oven, they have huge bags of flour and since they start working late (for euro bakers, start time is around 4am) the baguette and pain de campagne are not available before at least noon or early to mid afternoon, so it would totally match a normal baking time. Also, they stay good for a few days, industrial bread tend to turn rock hard in overnight (borderline weapon grade stuff). In Paris lots of bad baker use frozen dough that is delivered precut and shaped and have to be cooked in warm air blow rotary ovens. The tell tale is the crumbs that can be up to 10 cm per 3... and the cardboard taste...

[Coligny]

The bread or the poster?

The poster. I'm not saying his situation isn't possible if you live somewhere like Shirokane in Tokyo. However, that's certainly not the case in most parts of Tokyo let alone Japan.

Now... for brown bread... being full of shit... would... well... ok, I shut up...

[matsuki]

fucking crazy prices for fruit and they are not even that good. I am from Cali... so I might be a little spoiled. And no, Japanese strawberries are not good, neither are their apples with ass loads of wax on it.

I still remember the strawberries when I lived in SF: they were that bad. Very hard and dry. Complete shit. That was more than 15 years ago, so maybe they have improved, but I still get nightmares from them.

Not sure about the bread.. but it is tasty...

It has become better over the last decades, but it is not yet up to European standards. Problem with many bakeries in Japan is all the stuff (cream, red bean paste, sausages, etc) they put in bread. Really disgusting.

The bakery in the MaxValue in my neighborhood has pretty good French bread, though.

Brown bread in Japan: not good enough for me, so I make it myself by a bread machine.

not sure what strawberries you were eating... but they have always been good. i am from a farm and i am a Mexican't... so i get the ... freshly picked ones so to speak.

I cant stand it when Js try to japanize everything... not to mention copying bridges... towers... etc.

I'm with Russell. The produce in CA and the on the West Coast in general sucks balls. Much better from the farmers markets on the East Coast.

Depends on where you shop...you can get shitty grade stuff really cheap everywhere. Pay a little more and you got a selection of great stuff anywhere. ....or you live where it's picked and pay nothing for really good stuff.

[wagyl]

Maybe I have to move to Toyohashi then. But if I did that I would be getting fat on Brazilian sausages and Brazilian cakes in Hamamatsu every day.

[matsuki]

Maybe I have to move to Toyohashi then. But if I did that I would be getting fat on Brazilian sausages and Brazilian cakes in Hamamatsu every day.

This is what comes to mind when I think of Brazillian sausages making people fat in Aichi...

[wagyl]

LOL, the fact that the sausages look like this make it a challenging proposition. There's nothing like a fresh Calabrian's sausage! But hey, if it helps out the Coligny household's income, why not give it a shot.

[matsuki]

Challenge...accepted!

[Coligny]

Maybe I have to move to Toyohashi then. But if I did that I would be getting fat on Brazilian sausages and Brazilian cakes in Hamamatsu every day.

Hamamatsu is far... accross a lake, you have to pass a bridge that is simply murder when there is the slightest wind. Plus, them brasiliun are gone a plenty since the crisis... nearly all the local brasiliun food shops in toyohashi have closed. Which totally sucks because they were full of awesome stuff...

[Coligny]

Challenge...accepted!

Yanpa, get the fuck out of my pr0n... It's enough that I can't talk to a goat without picturing Greji...

[yanpa]

Challenge...accepted!

Yanpa, get the fuck out of my pr0n... It's enough that I can't talk to a goat without picturing Greji...

Damn paparazzi interrupting my threesomes again... just when I was getting some head...

[Russell]

fucking crazy prices for fruit and they are not even that good. I am from Cali... so I might be a little spoiled. And no, Japanese strawberries are not good, neither are their apples with ass loads of wax on it.

I still remember the strawberries when I lived in SF: they were that bad. Very hard and dry. Complete shit. That was more than 15 years ago, so maybe they have improved, but I still get nightmares from them.

Not sure about the bread.. but it is tasty...

It has become better over the last decades, but it is not yet up to European standards. PLUS

The bakery in the MaxValue in my neighborhood has pretty good French bread, though. PLUS

Brown bread in Japan: not good enough for me, so I make it myself by a bread machine.

Think I need to start a new thread... shit gaijin say... again and again...

Really? There are dozens of local bakeries in my area alone. I have never bought bread from a bakery in a Maxvalue, valor, ito yokado etc Why would you when there are so many indies out there getting it right. I strongly suggest gaijin hating on Japanese bread read the local print publications that circulate for free. Major heads up every month from several perspectives. Plus you get discount coupons and shit.

No decent brown bread? Hell, a ten minute bike ride in three directions will put excellent quality wild yeast, sourdough or traditionally raised (ie packet yeast) in my hands for a pittance. It will have flavour and be all round excellent... surely good (and I might add affordable and hand made) bread isn't limited to my neck of the woods?

Maybe we should make a new thread with good bakeries, because I haven't found one yet. I will surely be interested to try your suggestions. Even Tokyo is fine with me since I am there at least once a month.

[yanpa]

fucking crazy prices for fruit and they are not even that good. I am from Cali... so I might be a little spoiled. And no, Japanese strawberries are not good, neither are their apples with ass loads of wax on it.

I still remember the strawberries when I lived in SF: they were that bad. Very hard and dry. Complete shit. That was more than 15 years ago, so maybe they have improved, but I still get nightmares from them.

Not sure about the bread.. but it is tasty...

It has become better over the last decades, but it is not yet up to European standards. PLUS

The bakery in the MaxValue in my neighborhood has pretty good French bread, though. PLUS

Brown bread in Japan: not good enough for me, so I make it myself by a bread machine.

Think I need to start a new thread... shit gaijin say... again and again...

Really? There are dozens of local bakeries in my area alone. I have never bought bread from a bakery in a Maxvalue, valor, ito yokado etc Why would you when there are so many indies out there getting it right. I strongly suggest gaijin hating on Japanese bread read the local print publications that circulate for free. Major heads up every month from several perspectives. Plus you get discount coupons and shit.

No decent brown bread? Hell, a ten minute bike ride in three directions will put excellent quality wild yeast, sourdough or traditionally raised (ie packet yeast) in my hands for a pittance. It will have flavour and be all round excellent... surely good (and I might add affordable and hand made) bread isn't limited to my neck of the woods?

Maybe we should make a new thread with good bakeries, because I haven't found one yet. I will surely be interested to try your suggestions. Even Tokyo is fine with me since I am there at least once a month.

here you go

[Russell]

47. Tipping is not done.

[wagyl]

I come from a no tipping culture as well, and I struggle massively with getting my head around how to tip. But I hear that many people from tipping cultures struggle in that way too. But anyway, no tipping in Japan was not a surprise for me. I can understand it being a surprise for others.

[Russell]

It's interesting, though, that in hotels of the upper price ranges, the personnel seem to expect a tip (kind of).

Must be them Mericans staying there.

But then again, I am a Dutch asshole: when someone is friendly to me in the hope of getting a tip, I just reciprocate the friendliness...