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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ F*cked News

58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Odd news from Japan and all things Japanese around the world.
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58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby Samurai_Jerk » Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:59 am

Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males :lol:

Following a comprehensive two-year linguistic survey, a report published Wednesday in the academic journal Language revealed that 58 percent of Japanese speakers worldwide are 23-year-old white men from the United States. “Our findings indicate that a majority of individuals who can fluently speak and comprehend Japanese are actually Caucasian post-collegiate American males, many of whom order in Japanese at sushi restaurants and were one of the few white members of their universities’ Japanese clubs,” read the report in part, which noted that American-born 23-year-old men who taught English for a year in Kobe or Sapporo after graduation currently outnumber all other speakers of the Japanese language, including the entire population of the East Asian island nation and its millions of emigrants living throughout the world. “Though the Japanese dialect was spoken almost exclusively by individuals of Japanese origin until the mid-18th century, it is now largely a vernacular utilized by young white men who decorate their apartments with traditional Japanese prints and are devoted fans of manga artist Hayao Miyazaki.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby Coligny » Fri Apr 04, 2014 11:12 am

You forgot:

The report further confirmed that virtually 100 percent of this demographic is either currently dating or recently broke up with a woman named Miku.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby J.A.F.O » Fri Apr 04, 2014 12:37 pm

I kinda loathe these insipid bastards.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby yanpa » Fri Apr 04, 2014 12:42 pm

Onion writers or weeaboos?
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby Dreamy_Peach » Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:23 pm

A lot of truth in it though.

Nearly everyone I know here came as a result of a bird they met at school.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby J.A.F.O » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:09 pm

yanpa wrote:Onion writers or weeaboos?


Weeaboos... They tend to be one dimensional. (not always but often) I get one or two a year that show up at the gym. I have been laughed at because I didn't know what "one piece" was. They never stick around long though.

The onion can be pretty entertaining
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby Coligny » Fri Apr 04, 2014 5:44 pm

Never seen or read OP, but escaping the merchandising is near impossible, pretty sure I even bought OP themed ass wipes. This or Naruto, can't really distinguish or remember.., same shit different smell...
And don't even go near the vintard still drooling on saint seya and dragonblueballz ...
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby Coligny » Fri Apr 04, 2014 5:51 pm

Dreamy_Peach wrote:
Nearly everyone I know here came as a result of a bird they met at school.


Don't really understand the value of this statement...

Is it worse than those coming because they want to draw animz and dry hump gundamz ? Or better ? Or whut ?
When you marry a foreign natiunnul, one have to relocate usually ? No ?
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby kurogane » Sat Apr 05, 2014 3:36 pm

J.A.F.O wrote:
yanpa wrote: I have been laughed at because I didn't know what "one piece" was.


As in a slinky dress? Out of curiosity, how in hades did that come up in a gym conversation? Anyways, don't feel bad: I have had my entire professional career mocked because I didn't know the name of Totoro's sidekick, or his animatronic bus, or some such other weird arsed obsessive Dweebo crap. And he got really angry when I kept laughing at him for laughing at me, and I wasn't faking it, or posing. So it was worth it. I still smile when I recall his tiny impotent fists shaking at the end of his spindly pink arms.

That was a great article; I had started foaming about faulty parameters and sophomoric survey design until I clicked the link and saw the source: very clever, and very timely. In case anybody was wondering why Eikaiwa pay never rises and where in the name of Wallace the seemingly endess supply of Interac employees comes from.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby Russell » Sat Apr 05, 2014 4:55 pm

OK, so this girl Miku dates more than 100,000,000 white males of the age of 23.

I bet she lost her virginity somewhere in the process...
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby Coligny » Sat Apr 05, 2014 9:30 pm

Russell wrote:OK, so this girl Miku dates more than 100,000,000 white males of the age of 23.

I bet she lost her virginity somewhere in the process...


Nah, still a technical virgin, meanwhile her bunghole bleed more than an ebola monkey, that's why she walk/dance strange....
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby J.A.F.O » Sat Apr 05, 2014 9:56 pm

kurogane wrote:Out of curiosity, how in hades did that come up in a gym conversation?


That skull and bone logo was on their t-shirt, I asked wtf it was because I see it everywhere.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby Coligny » Sat Apr 05, 2014 10:32 pm

J.A.F.O wrote:
kurogane wrote:Out of curiosity, how in hades did that come up in a gym conversation?


That skull and bone logo was on their t-shirt, I asked wtf it was because I see it everywhere.


image.jpg


Come on, with this quality in the graphic execution and character design no wonder it became an ubiquitous reference...

Damn them' japs with their cultural superiority that we barbarians can't understand
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby J.A.F.O » Sun Apr 06, 2014 1:40 am

I know right... hijinks ensued.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby dimwit » Sun Apr 06, 2014 2:13 am

Miku is still a virgin but she has developed quite a nasty rash from all those handshaking events.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby kurogane » Sun Apr 06, 2014 10:16 am

J.A.F.O wrote:  That skull and bone logo was on their t-shirt,............



Oh...............thinking it only meant a slinky dress..............goes and googles "one piece skull and bones"

Returns horrified.

I don't mean to meddle, but under the Original User Agreement you do realise that you were required to refuse them entry based on the old adage:

No Brains, No Hope, No Service.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby yanpa » Sun Apr 06, 2014 12:17 pm

kurogane wrote:
J.A.F.O wrote:  That skull and bone logo was on their t-shirt,............



Oh...............thinking it only meant a slinky dress..............goes and googles "one piece skull and bones"


I am much enlightened...

Whackypedia wrote:Franky breaks free from the government after burning his blueprints for one of the weapons and teams up with the Straw Hat Pirates to declare war on the government, resulting in battles between CP9 and its minions. The final long battle with CP9 ends when the crew saves Robin, Franky building their new ship, the Thousand Sunny, and joins their crew. Soon after, the crew helps a musician skeleton named Brook find his shadow in Thriller Bark, which has been stolen by Gecko Moriah. After defeating Moriah, Brook joins Luffy's crew.


... not.
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby J.A.F.O » Sun Apr 06, 2014 10:21 pm

kurogane wrote:I don't mean to meddle, but under the Original User Agreement you do realise that you were required to refuse them entry based on the old adage:

No Brains, No Hope, No Service.


I'll be sure to post it at the entrance just make sure there are no future infractions. (In reality the not so bright make decent fighters... I mean if your smart you think of better things to do with yourself. Intelligent fighters tend to have a masochistic streak)
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Re: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers Not Japanese

Postby kurogane » Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:46 pm

yanpa wrote:
kurogane wrote:
J.A.F.O wrote:  That skull and bone logo was on their t-shirt,............

Oh...............thinking it only meant a slinky dress..............goes and googles "one piece skull and bones"


I am much enlightened...

... not.


He he he. You thought it did too, didncha!? :biggrin2:

JAFO wrote:I'll be sure to post it at the entrance just make sure there are no future infractions. (In reality the not so bright make decent fighters... I mean if your smart you think of better things to do with yourself. Intelligent fighters tend to have a masochistic streak)


Oh, it's a Fight Club gym..........starting to make more sense. There is something deliciously hilarious about fighters being into goofy junior high school cartoons. It sort of emphasises the weird video game obsessed childishness of it all.

Not including the ones that are actually serious about training and good at it, natch.
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