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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto

But we're speaking Japanese!

Groovin' in the Gaijin Gulag
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30 posts • Page 1 of 1

But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Samurai_Jerk » Sun May 18, 2014 2:54 am

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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby matsuki » Sun May 18, 2014 9:18 am

I get that 「英語わからない」 occasionally from old men but the immediate turn to lemur to speak is almost never failing. (Unless I speak up first)
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby J.A.F.O » Sun May 18, 2014 6:10 pm

Sometimes it makes me wanna learn Russian or French orGerman Just so I can say I don't fucking speak English.
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Samurai_Jerk » Sun May 18, 2014 6:22 pm

J.A.F.O wrote:Sometimes it makes me wanna learn Russian or French orGerman Just so I can say I don't fucking speak English.


Just speak Swedish chef until they give up.

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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Russell » Sun May 18, 2014 6:44 pm

J.A.F.O wrote:Sometimes it makes me wanna learn Russian or French orGerman Just so I can say I don't fucking speak English.

You don't need to speak another language in order to pretend to not speak English...
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Mike Oxlong » Sun May 18, 2014 6:55 pm

Russell wrote:
J.A.F.O wrote:Sometimes it makes me wanna learn Russian or French orGerman Just so I can say I don't fucking speak English.

You don't need to speak another language in order to pretend to not speak English...

May we.
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Grumpy Gramps » Sun May 18, 2014 8:46 pm

I sometimes think, it's not only them, it's me just as well. On days, when I am grumpier than usual, tense and in a bad mood, things like this or "cashier girl gives my credit card back to the wife" seem to happen more often than on those rare days, when I am all smiles, relaxed and happy.

I know some, who look Japanese, but don't speak the lingo. For them it seems to be real hellish, though :lol:
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby legion » Sun May 18, 2014 8:48 pm

I just revert to my native tongue

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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Coligny » Sun May 18, 2014 11:17 pm

"Nissta ne razumem" will get you out of trouble anywhere outside of slavic countries...

Until the second were you realize you landed in a Russian resort in VietNam... then shit gets weird... (and me Julie presumed nationality switched from Japanese to somewhere from eastern Siberia or sumthing)
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby J.A.F.O » Mon May 19, 2014 10:07 am

Russell wrote:
J.A.F.O wrote:Sometimes it makes me wanna learn Russian or French orGerman Just so I can say I don't fucking speak English.

You don't need to speak another language in order to pretend to not speak English...


Agreed but I'm a horrible liar. To me it always feels like their thinking... "you speak English... Come on you know you speak English"
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby kurogane » Mon May 19, 2014 10:17 am

Yeah, I'm with you. If you do speak another, fine. Otherwise.............if I didn't speak baby Danish I couldn't pull that one off either. Nice thing is, nobody speaks Danish, and even the Danes don't know what I am saying anymore, coz it's 100 year old farmer speak. But Japanese often don't buy it because they think English is the natinal language of Gaikoku, and that includes Denmark. I do enjoy that one.
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby matsuki » Mon May 19, 2014 11:56 am

I tried to pull out my shitty French ”Je ne parle pas Anglais" to some bum lookin' oyaji that was bothering me in Shibuya a few years back....fucker replies "no problem! Je parle Francais bien!" :shock:
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Samurai_Jerk » Mon May 19, 2014 12:07 pm

chokonen888 wrote:I tried to pull out my shitty French ”Je ne parle pas Anglais" to some bum lookin' oyaji that was bothering me in Shibuya a few years back....fucker replies "no problem! Je parle Francais bien!" :shock:


Try speaking Apache.
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby matsuki » Mon May 19, 2014 12:12 pm

It's worse than my French...but some of the words are similar/same as Japanese so might not be the best idea.
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Samurai_Jerk » Mon May 19, 2014 12:21 pm

chokonen888 wrote:It's worse than my French...but some of the words are similar/same as Japanese so might not be the best idea.


I still think my Swedish chef suggestion is best.
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Russell » Mon May 19, 2014 8:06 pm

Suddenly, I feel so happy to be Dutch!

:twisted:
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Coligny » Mon May 19, 2014 8:08 pm

Russell wrote:Suddenly, I feel so happy to be Dutch!

:twisted:



Until you need to pee...
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Russell » Mon May 19, 2014 10:23 pm

Coligny wrote:
Russell wrote:Suddenly, I feel so happy to be Dutch!

:twisted:


Until you need to pee...

in Japan...
Image ― Voltaire
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby yanpa » Mon May 19, 2014 11:18 pm

Russell wrote:
Coligny wrote:
Russell wrote:Suddenly, I feel so happy to be Dutch!

:twisted:


Until you need to pee...

in Japan...


Isn't it traditional in Holland to stick your finger up the nearest dyke to stop the flow, or I am I getting legends confused?
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby wagyl » Mon May 19, 2014 11:24 pm

yanpa wrote:Isn't it traditional in Holland to stick your finger up the nearest dyke to stop the flow, or I am I getting legends confused?


She has a tendency to punch you in the face if you do that.
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Coligny » Tue May 20, 2014 12:01 am

wagyl wrote:
yanpa wrote:Isn't it traditional in Holland to stick your finger up the nearest dyke to stop the flow, or I am I getting legends confused?


She has a tendency to punch you in the face if you do that.


I think she just wanted to punch you, a good fingering is unisex, like muffdiving...
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby J.A.F.O » Tue May 20, 2014 12:39 am

Samurai_Jerk wrote:I still think my Swedish chef suggestion is best.


I did too, spent an hour watching Swedish chef videos on YouTube. Popcorn was pretty good.

chokonen888 wrote:I tried to pull out my shitty French ”Je ne parle pas Anglais" to some bum lookin' oyaji that was bothering me in Shibuya a few years back....fucker replies "no problem! Je parle Francais bien!" :shock:

:keyboardcoffee:

kurogane wrote:Yeah, I'm with you. If you do speak another, fine. Otherwise.............if I didn't speak baby Danish I couldn't pull that one off either. Nice thing is, nobody speaks Danish, and even the Danes don't know what I am saying anymore, coz it's 100 year old farmer speak. But Japanese often don't buy it because they think English is the natinal language of Gaikoku, and that includes Denmark. I do enjoy that one.


Hmmm, maybe if I looked Nordic that might help, but I just look English/ French. (If there is such a look)
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Mike Oxlong » Tue May 20, 2014 12:49 am

J.A.F.O wrote:
kurogane wrote:Yeah, I'm with you. If you do speak another, fine. Otherwise.............if I didn't speak baby Danish I couldn't pull that one off either. Nice thing is, nobody speaks Danish, and even the Danes don't know what I am saying anymore, coz it's 100 year old farmer speak. But Japanese often don't buy it because they think English is the natinal language of Gaikoku, and that includes Denmark. I do enjoy that one.


Hmmm, maybe if I looked Nordic that might help, but I just look English/ French. (If there is such a look)

Rowan Atkinson / Gérard Depardieu hybrid? :confused:
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby J.A.F.O » Tue May 20, 2014 1:14 am

Mike Oxlong wrote:
J.A.F.O wrote:Hmmm, maybe if I looked Nordic that might help, but I just look English/ French. (If there is such a look)

Rowan Atkinson / Gérard Depardieu hybrid? :confused:


If only I could look as handsome as those two. Would definitely be a step up for my ugly mug. :)
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Coligny » Tue May 20, 2014 1:52 am

J.A.F.O wrote:
Mike Oxlong wrote:
J.A.F.O wrote:Hmmm, maybe if I looked Nordic that might help, but I just look English/ French. (If there is such a look)

Rowan Atkinson / Gérard Depardieu hybrid? :confused:


If only I could look as handsome as those two. Would definitely be a step up for my ugly mug. :)


That:

image.jpg


Would be an upgrade !?

Dafuq... Do people throw rocks ar you when you go out without a cloak ?
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Russell » Tue May 20, 2014 8:47 am

yanpa wrote:
Russell wrote:
Coligny wrote:
Russell wrote:Suddenly, I feel so happy to be Dutch!

:twisted:


Until you need to pee...

in Japan...


Isn't it traditional in Holland to stick your finger up the nearest dyke to stop the flow, or I am I getting legends confused?

Yeah, Dutch culture.

Image

Sticking it in a dyke in case of emergencies is indeed totally in line with those old Dutch traditional values that has kept our lands free of the most freely available resource on earth.

However, an amoral counterculture has built since the mid-60's that strongly discourages the filling of holes other than by inorganic implements...
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Wage Slave » Tue May 20, 2014 10:01 am

Funny how your eyes change over time. I never used to get art like this. Now I love it. I have this one on my desktop at the moment and it sort of sparkles out across the room. Amazing.

Image

And for some reason I find the melody and lyrics in this track, inspired by a similarish painting, hauntingly beautiful. Especially from about 1:40 if you are short of time.



or perhaps the studio version:

It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

- Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 5)

William Shakespeare, April 1564 - May 3rd 1616
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby J.A.F.O » Tue May 20, 2014 11:22 am

Coligny wrote:
That:

image.jpg


Would be an upgrade !?

Dafuq... Do people throw rocks ar you when you go out without a cloak ?


Well not here in J-land
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby kurogane » Tue May 20, 2014 12:24 pm

J.A.F.O wrote:Hmmm, maybe if I looked Nordic that might help, but I just look English/ French. (If there is such a look)


I'm probably just generic Northern European, but even a touch of some other tongue does help the charade carry. I vote for the Swedish Chef routine, though I envy Russell his Dutch Treat trick. That must really F them up. Resorting to French is always a dangerous one anywhere: francophiles abound, the Japanese ones can be particularly fanatical, and isn't French about #3 on the Global Language list?

Yeah, stick with Scando, fake or otherwise.
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Re: But we're speaking Japanese!

Postby Russell » Tue May 20, 2014 10:04 pm

kurogane wrote:
J.A.F.O wrote:Hmmm, maybe if I looked Nordic that might help, but I just look English/ French. (If there is such a look)


I'm probably just generic Northern European, but even a touch of some other tongue does help the charade carry. I vote for the Swedish Chef routine, though I envy Russell his Dutch Treat trick. That must really F them up. Resorting to French is always a dangerous one anywhere: francophiles abound, the Japanese ones can be particularly fanatical, and isn't French about #3 on the Global Language list?

Yeah, stick with Scando, fake or otherwise.

Actually, I do not use that trick at all, because a foreigner only able to speak his own non-English language just looks plain stupid.

The only time when it is convenient to speak Dutch is when, in public in a non-Dutch speaking country, I want to discuss matters that are not meant to be understood by strangers.
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