AKB Members Injured in Attack

[Samurai_Jerk]

OMG! It's a worldwide epidemic!

Brad Pitt attacked at 'Maleficent' premiere

A man was led away in handcuffs after attacking Brad Pitt on the red carpet at the Hollywood premiere of the movie "Maleficent." Pitt was apparently unhurt and soon resumed signing autographs.

Witnesses saw the man from the fan area jump over a barrier to the red carpet at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood on Tuesday and rush at Pitt.

Security guards wrestled the man across the barrier and called police, who arrived and led the man away. Pitt kept greeting fans and walked into the theater.

[yanpa]

But was the assailant armed with a saw?

[Samurai_Jerk]

But was the assailant armed with a saw?

It's not even clear from that "article" whether or not the guy was actually trying to attack Burapi. He might have just been an overenthusiastic autograph seeker.

[matsuki]

[Taro Toporific]

"AKB48 handshake events restart under supervision from
the Department of Homeland Security."

AKB48-security.jpg

http://t.co/Irqj2ChD6X pic.twitter.com/PJE07P5fHj --- Tokyo Scum Brigade (@TokyoScum) July 7, 2014

[Samurai_Jerk]

That can't be the DHS. I don't see any sassy obese black women.

[matsuki]

That can't be the DHS. I don't see any sassy obese black women.

Talmbout whachall doin' dis weeken honey

[Samurai_Jerk]

[IparryU]

"AKB48 handshake events restart under supervision from
the Department of Homeland Security."

AKB48-security.jpg

http://t.co/Irqj2ChD6X pic.twitter.com/PJE07P5fHj --- Tokyo Scum Brigade (@TokyoScum) July 7, 2014

Our tax yen at work...

[Coligny]

image.jpg

[wagyl]

"AKB48 handshake events restart under supervision from
the Department of Homeland Security."

AKB48-security.jpg

http://t.co/Irqj2ChD6X pic.twitter.com/PJE07P5fHj --- Tokyo Scum Brigade (@TokyoScum) July 7, 2014

Our tax yen at work...

I would be very surprised if any taxes are involved there, unless you are referring to increased expenses borne by the AKB machine, leading to decreased profits and decreased corporate tax payments.

[yanpa]

AKB48 members to be replaced at handshaking events by armless lookalike robots

...more...

[Taro Toporific]

AKB48 members to be replaced at handshaking events by armless lookalike robots
...more...

Mission accomplished.

handshake-robot.jpg

握手機能付きビデオ会議システム。大阪大学の研究グループによって発表されたシステムの一つ。離れた場所にいる人間とロボットハンドを使用することで擬似的な握手が出来るとのこと。会話にも対応する。pic.twitter.com/Bc1FD1jSP0 --- 無人機bot (@mujinbot) July 29, 2014
(Video conference system that can shake hands created by a research group of the University of Osaka. The conferencing system allows you to remotely shake hands with a distant person tele-connected to a robot pseudo-hand. This can be done during an online conversation.)

[wagyl]

(Video conference system that can shake hands created by a research group of the University of Osaka. The conferencing system allows you to remotely shake hands with a distant person tele-connected to a robot pseudo-hand. This can be done during an online conversation.)

Thank God they have solved that pressing problem of not being able to shake hands over a videoconference! I really don't know how we have managed until now. This must rank with the taming of fire as one of the top human achievements!

Please excuse the non-deliberate pun. No need to excuse the bile. Even if it is only a demonstration that they have mastered sensing the pressure exerted by the human and reproduced it in the robot arm, give it something a bit more purposeful to demonstrate like picking up a fragile foodstuff, breaking an egg, something like that.

[yanpa]

Maybe they can come up with a small printer/scanner embedded in the hand which can spit out/read in meishi and also hold them appropriately for exchange purposes.

[Coligny]

Cyberdutch ruddering... I see a gigantic market opportunity...

[Russell]

Unfortunately, the Japanese have long ago decided that the appropriate way to greet each other is by bowing, not by handshaking. So, it's not like this will find much application inside Japan.

That said, with the recent developments regarding Ebola, I foresee a huge world market...

[matsuki]

Don't they already have interactive porn devices like this? Seems like a better business plan than a device that allows you to simply shake hands.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Don't they already have interactive porn devices like this? Seems like a better business plan than a device that allows you to simply shake hands.

If it can shake hands, it can jerk you off.

[matsuki]

Don't they already have interactive porn devices like this? Seems like a better business plan than a device that allows you to simply shake hands.

If it can shake hands, it can jerk you off.

I guess you could finger her as well....but why bother with a hand when they got all those silicone, self lubing vag available.

[wagyl]

I guess you could finger her as well....but why bother with a hand when they got all those silicone, self lubing vag available.

slabs of konnyaku, a pocket slashed into it with a kitchen knife, heated up in a bath of warm water.

Doin' it old skool.

[matsuki]

Konjyaku?

[wagyl]

I'm set for tonight, baby!

blackyamcake.jpg

It was a thing. I saw it on Fuji TV.

[Mike Oxlong]

Gawd, I miss the old country...

[Russell]

I'm set for tonight, baby!

blackyamcake.jpg

It was a thing. I saw it on Fuji TV.

Well, it's cheaper than a beefsteak...

[Taro Toporific]

AKB48 members to be replaced at handshaking events by armless lookalike robots
...more...

B-listed AKB48 member, Oya Shizuka, is making fun of her lack of any fans waiting to get her handshake at today's AKB48 Handshake Event. (Details about her unpopularity at Kotaku.com.)

"両端レーンが大人気大行列で、ここがオセロなら私も行列なのにと思っている奴のアカウントがこちらです."

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--- 大家志津香(しーちゃん) (@ooyachaaan1228) Oct. 19, 2014

[Samurai_Jerk]

That actually makes me kind of like her. Maybe I'll go shake her hand next time.

[matsuki]

Give it a week, she'll be the most popular...

AKB is getting its own PSP game in which the object is for players to reject the advances of all the girls but one.

Does this get categorized into "Fetish Fantasy" or "Children's game for adults?"

[IparryU]

That actually makes me kind of like her. Maybe I'll go shake her hand next time.

You might actually get to touch her hand! She doesn't even have the riot squad around her.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Give it a week, she'll be the most popular...

Yeah, I'm sure it's all part of a PR campaign. There's no way management would let her do that spontaneously.