Washlet Urban Legends

[IparryU]

http://en.rocketnews24.com/2015/01/19/p ... se-us-all/

Poll reveals what we already know: Japanese toilets make no sense, confuse us all

Between the futuristic Blade Runner-esque toilets and the slightly terrifying (but healthier for you) traditional squatters, Japanese restrooms can be a bit intimidating for a first-time user. And even for those who have lived in Japan for a while, using a public toilet can still be a daunting task. So to better understand restroom woes for those coming from overseas, Japanese toilet manufacturer Toto recently surveyed 600 foreigners living in Japan about toilets in the country and what confuses them most.

blah...

[Grumpy Gramps]

Japanese technology to the rescue, please. Washlet makers could help the Germans with toilet seats that wipe the floor; no "sitzpinkler" there

[Coligny]

ok, one more time... I am the only one garanteed to piss on the floor while sitting (due to ...plumbing... sizing) I have to put my p00per waaaay backward, making me lean forward to avoid to touch the backseat, putting my schlong in near horizontal position... perfect to overpiss on the floor at best... in my pant at worst...

I almost miss the old days of the outhouse in the garden in the Verdun's house...
except for the fucking spiders... you had to rent a howitzer to take them down (lucky it was a military base town* so that stuff was easy to get)(*sort of common sense to let battletanks ready there since the krautz had an unnatural attraction toward the place...)

[Grumpy Gramps]

Reminds me of a small camp ground near Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer, where we went quite often to relax for a few days, when I was young. It was imperative to hose the whole outhouse/showers down before use or else all kinds of creepy crawleys would get where you don't want them.

Many years later I went back there just for the natsukashii of it and wanted to put up my tent for a long weekend, but the owner said that the bugs had won the war and he had to close the place down; I could use it for free if I wanted, but at my own "risk". The Pastis at his bar was still fine, though

[matsuki]

Just heard a "talent" on 知らなきゃ良かった talk about how he needs the washlet to shit...basically using it like an enema BEFORE he shits...and even taking a portable washlet with him when he travels overseas. (then get told by a physician the heat and pressure is really not good for the bunghole)

[wagyl]

He's just full of shit.


Wait, I already did that joke in this thread.....

[IparryU]

Just heard a "talent" on 知らなきゃ良かった talk about how he needs the washlet to shit...basically using it like an enema BEFORE he shits...and even taking a portable washlet with him when he travels overseas. (then get told by a physician the heat and pressure is really not good for the bunghole)

my ex was at a company drinking party... it was only her and one other girl and the guys spent most the night speaking about how they like the washlet to clean their bungholes...

everyone apparently had a different style, but all liked it up the rooter at the end of the duty.

[matsuki]

He's just full of shit.


Wait, I already did that joke in this thread.....

LOL, the ending shot was him talking about being caught somewhere without a washlet and using a showerhead I guess all this literal assery explains the quantity of anal porn they produce.

[Samurai_Jerk]

I've always been disturbed by the fact that some washlets have a massage setting.

[matsuki]

According to the TV physician, your bunghole skin is so thin that a "massage" is going to tear it or at the very least, irritate it....though I guess if you're into warm water bunghole massages, either of those may be perks.

[Coligny]

According to the TV physician, your bunghole skin is so thin that a "massage" is going to tear it or at the very least, irritate it....though I guess if you're into warm water bunghole massages, either of those may be perks.

Physician that never been around constipated babies or kittens...

Hell the fucking local chimp pediatrist recommend qtip up the p00per... The kind of practice that gets you jailed in first world countries...

[wagyl]

He's just full of shit.


Wait, I already did that joke in this thread.....

LOL, the ending shot was him talking about being caught somewhere without a washlet and using a showerhead I guess all this literal assery explains the quantity of anal porn they produce.

I have it on good authority that this Fine Bangkok Establishment's name is not unintentional, and based on their clientele it is no surprise that they have a Japanese language option on their website. The Kinky Massage services are comprehensive. http://www.analisamassage.com/

[matsuki]

He's just full of shit.


Wait, I already did that joke in this thread.....

LOL, the ending shot was him talking about being caught somewhere without a washlet and using a showerhead I guess all this literal assery explains the quantity of anal porn they produce.

I have it on good authority that this Fine Bangkok Establishment's name is not unintentional, and based on their clientele it is no surprise that they have a Japanese language option on their website. The Kinky Massage services are comprehensive. http://www.analisamassage.com/

I......got nothing

[wagyl]

I have it on good authority that this Fine Bangkok Establishment's name is not unintentional, and based on their clientele it is no surprise that they have a Japanese language option on their website. The Kinky Massage services are comprehensive. http://www.analisamassage.com/

I......got nothing

I take it that means you have ordered the "kidnap from airport" option for your next trip.

[matsuki]

I have it on good authority that this Fine Bangkok Establishment's name is not unintentional, and based on their clientele it is no surprise that they have a Japanese language option on their website. The Kinky Massage services are comprehensive. http://www.analisamassage.com/

I......got nothing

I take it that means you have ordered the "kidnap from airport" option for your next trip.

Taken 3 is already in theaters

[Samurai_Jerk]

BTW, I'm not buying the claim that Japanese porn is particularly anal-centric. That seems to be the case with all porn now. And with the amount of porn I watch I think I can reasonably claim my finding is based on a scientific sample.

[matsuki]

BTW, I'm not buying the claim that Japanese porn is particularly anal-centric. That seems to be the case with all porn now. And with the amount of porn I watch I think I can reasonably claim my finding is based on a scientific sample.

How about the qty of "anal-themed" J-porn?

[Coligny]

BTW, I'm not buying the claim that Japanese porn is particularly anal-centric. That seems to be the case with all porn now. And with the amount of porn I watch I think I can reasonably claim my finding is based on a scientific sample.

From mah scientific observashiun, anal pr0n is a byproduct, not really stand alone. Most movies include short anal clip serving as an appetizer for the main double penetration sequence.

[matsuki]

I can't tell you how many times I've seen 3穴 titled J-porn...not my thing either, which tells you how hard it is to avoid

[Samurai_Jerk]

BTW, I'm not buying the claim that Japanese porn is particularly anal-centric. That seems to be the case with all porn now. And with the amount of porn I watch I think I can reasonably claim my finding is based on a scientific sample.

How about the qty of "anal-themed" J-porn?

Less than in the US.

[matsuki]

dammit, in that case I stand corrected. I don't watch much US porn.

[Russell]

Chinese and toilets...

Chinese scrambling to buy shower toilet seats in Japan

Japan has become a popular place for Chinese people to spend their week-long Lunar New Year holidays partly thanks to a weak yen, with newspapers here running articles on the shopping spree of Chinese tourists in Japan.

In its Sunday edition, the Beijing Youth Daily published an article titled: Why Chinese consumers scramble to get Japanese warm-water-shower toilet seats.

The article said that toilet seats with deodorization, washing and sterilization functions have become must-buys for Chinese tourists to Japan, next only to rice cookers, with those priced at around 2,000 yuan selling especially well.

The People’s Daily, the Chinese Communist Party’s official newspaper, recently ran an article asking why Chinese tourists buy toilet seats in Japan even though similar products are available in their home country.

Noting that Chinese people are not satisfied with domestic products, the article said Chinese-made products may draw popularity in the near future if controls over forgery are tightened and innovations are constantly promoted.

More

[wagyl]

Speaking of washlets there's someone at my office that just stand up when he uses the bidet because the toilet seat is often all wet towards the back. It only started happening a couple of months ago so it must be someone new. The worst part is it's not always easy to see without looking really closely so I sometimes end up sitting in it.

OK, so I have recently come around to the Italian way of thinking, which is

If your hands are dirty, like after gardening or working in the engine bay of your car, you don't clean your hands by just scraping a paper towel across them, do you. You wet your hands. So why would you just scrape some dry paper over your arse after you shit?

and started using the washlet function on the toilet seat installed here probably ten years ago. I don't get up off the seat, but I might do a little bit of movement (not that kind of movement, gutterbrain) on the seat to get some lateral adjustment. There is at times splashback on the toilet seat or on the lid as a result. This may be the phenomenon Samurai Jerk is seeing, too.

[kurogane]

And yet, you might even wipe it clean when finished. Which is another problem SJ addressed, if indirectly. I don't know if Japanese flush handles are impossibly stiff or Japanese men impossibly weak but the amount of leftovers I have encountered makes one wonder.

[wagyl]

leftovers

That is the omiyage culture. You just don't understand enough about omotenashi to appreciate it.

[matsuki]

leftovers

That is the omiyage culture. You just don't understand enough about omotenashi to appreciate it.

Leaving a "gift" for the next user....I still find the squat toilets the worst when it comes to that. Everything from vomit to smeared poo. You may not have to set your ass down on it but often times it's impossible to avoid stepping in it.

[Coligny]

Try using a squat toilet while having the shits and not turning the place into a crossover between a plane crash site and a murder scene...

Then tell us aboot it...
Bonus: i will personally deliver you a medal if you also avoid collateralling your pants...

Btw: checking the time... Bon appetit guys...

[Russell]

Ouch, some serious discussion going on in the U.K. about toilets. It's about time they discovered washlets there...

Should men put the toilet seat down when they're finished?

It seems trivial, but the toilet seat debate strikes at the very heart of gender equality. Jonathan Wells rolls up his sleeves and flushes out the answers to the most common domestic argument in Britain.

At the very least I will be looking forward to a scholarly contribution to this discussion from Kurogane...

When Thomas Crapper popularised the modern flush toilet in homes around Britain, he could not have known the magnitude of the domestic problem he was creating. For years, toilet etiquette has been a topic of consternation, with the seat in particular opening a rift of disagreement between the genders.

It is popularly preached that men should put the seat down after relieving themselves, but why – in this age of so-called equality – is this still the case? "Chivalry!" you may shout; "kindness!" you may yell. Well, OK - but is that good enough? Because, shockingly, men like touching the seat just as little as their female cubicle-mates.

To solve the toilet seat dilemma, we must delve into the wider problems that surround it. These problems can be divided, rather neatly, into three separate areas of argument: equality, psychology and bacteriology. So let's pull up our trousers, flush out the problem and wash our hands of this khazi conflict once and for all.

The Equality Experts

The toilet seat debate may be timeless, but it is also potent with contemporary issues.

Universities around Britain have recently started to implement gender neutral toilets in order to nullify any ostracisation transgender or intersex people may feel. However, the reception to these loos has not been universally positive, with one third-year female student at Sussex University complaining to me that "there are no rules about how to leave the toilet seat, and that means we have to move it all the time."

"Sometimes you can tell that men haven't put the seat up, gone to the toilet and missed," continues the student, who wishes to remain unnamed. "And I don't see why we should have to deal with that when it should be their responsibility to move it in the first place."

The inference here, that altering the position of the loo seat is a man's role, is reiterated by Donna Dawson, a relationship expert who playfully (I think) brands me a "misogynist" for suggesting that the undesirable task of lifting or lowering the toilet seat should not be exclusively left to men.

Dawson suggests that equality is represented by "compromise and meeting each other halfway; the important bedrock of a relationship". Quite so - but she repeatedly describes a lowered seat as the toilet in its "natural" or "original" position. To paraphrase the age-old maxim, is this not trying to have your urinal cake and eat it?

After our conversation, I spend (too long) formulating a 'one-touch' rule. In short: everyone agrees to touch the seat once during their lavatory trip. Men put it up at the start, women put it down. What could represent a more equal compromise, I humbly ask?

More

[kurogane]

I leave it up to show I haven't peed on it in unisex washrooms. I receive very mixed reviews on that, and have been told flat out I should be sitting too in the absence of a proper urinal. I think the seat trick was suggested to me by a lady girl, perhaps a Jpn one. I don't mind either way, but the logic was that if it's down it has to be wiped just in case because a woman can't be sure. As Salty has noted a few times, many older buildings had washrooms. Not Boys or Girls, but washrooms. Certainly in Sapporo I peed at the urinal while the hostesses squatted in the barely concealed stalls behind me. I found it all rather strange, but it seemed to work for most.

I fully support being accepting and whatever to trannies, but given that the wordlwide population is about 654 people, it all seems a media driven non-news topic; why can't they just use the multi-purpose/handicapped cans? I also think it definitely lures otherwise sexually secure dorks and dweebs to claim they are just so they can gave a syndrome too. Like transethnics and transspecies kids.

[Salty]

The automatic ones these days have a wall mounted panel... one touch and the seat goes up, and another touch and it goes back down. Step away, and it flushes automatically after a few seconds, and if you want to save a bit of water you can touch a button for that too, before the automated flush. Since no seat is touched by a human hand, it seems to me that all is solved.

That is, except for the guy who wants to tickle the lady friend – and can do so by manually raising the seat after the automated lowering, just to spite. But even then, it is just one touch to the panel to sort that one out.