So is J-land really a place where an ugly guy can score?

[tailchaser]

I get the impression that J-girls really can tell the difference between ugly caucasian guys and good looking ones. I keep hearing that we all look the same to them: just a bunch of hairy, smelly, monkey-faced, ape-brained, bakagaijin. I could be wrong though. They seemed pretty inscrutable and didn't look at me at all unless I screamed "SUMIMASEN" in their ear, in which case I would briefly catch their attention before they went back to staring at their cinema-sized cell phone LCDs.

For good-looking guys, of course, such a place would be hell because all of a sudden they'd have to actually compete. But for busaiku guys like myself it would certainly be great to be in a place where beauty really is in the "eye of the beholder". Anyone know the equivalent expression in Nihongo? I'll need it in order to convince those large-eyed cuties that getting with a dog-faced gaijin is for them.

Also, at only 170cm, I'm shorter than a lot of Nihonjin. This does not exactly seem to go over well with the J-girls. I noticed that a lot of the foreigners who actually lived there seemed to be taller than 180cm.

[Taro Toporific]

....in order to convince those large-eyed cuties that getting with a dog-faced gaijin is for them.
Also, at only 170cm...

No problem,. Just get Magic Shoes(JPN tm) and a good cologne scented green.

[GomiGirl]

They seemed pretty inscrutable and didn't look at me at all unless I screamed "SUMIMASEN" in their ear, in which case I would briefly catch their attention before they went back to staring at their cinema-sized cell phone LCDs.

err maybe it is your approach???

Just because you are standing there it doesn't mean that chicks fall over with their legs in the air.. doesn't matter how good looking you are.

and well screaming is really not going to help your chances any.

[kurohinge1]

... Just because you are standing there it doesn't mean that chicks fall over with their legs in the air.. doesn't matter how good looking you are ...

GG, please refresh my memory: What is it exactly that us lads have to do that will make the girls fall over with their legs in the air?

[Caustic Saint]

... Just because you are standing there it doesn't mean that chicks fall over with their legs in the air.. doesn't matter how good looking you are ...

GG, please refresh my memory: What is it exactly that us lads have to do that will make the girls fall over with their legs in the air?

Try writing poetry.

[Kanchou]

"Look at me, I'm so damaged and angsty" poetry, web-blog-quality-impresses-14-year-old girls poetry, or actual decent poetry?

[cstaylor]

actual decent poetry?

That would be near impossible with this crowd.

[Taro Toporific]

actual decent poetry?

That would be near impossible with this crowd.

Actually, I gotta give CS props where it's due.
CS has posted by far the best p-slam here on the FG last year. The CS rap had the meter-n-rhyme spot on. I'd repost it but I can't seem to find it with the search function right now.

[Marvin Feltcher]

[Kanchou]

I can never resist laughing at a new-half joke.

(WaiWai )

[Marvin Feltcher]

WaiWai reader

[cstaylor]

Actually, I gotta give CS props where it's due.
CS has posted by far the best p-slam here on the FG last year. The CS rap had the meter-n-rhyme spot on. I'd repost it but I can't seem to find it with the search function right now.

Thanks Taro, glad someone remembered my "Would the Real Rob Pongi, Please Stand Up" Eminem paraody.

[Frost]

... Just because you are standing there it doesn't mean that chicks fall over with their legs in the air.. doesn't matter how good looking you are ...

"GG, please refresh my memory: What is it exactly that us lads have to do that will make the girls fall over with their legs in the air? "


Show them your ATM card?

[Taro Toporific]

CS posted by far the best p-slam here on the FG last year..

Thanks Taro, glad someone remembered my "Would the Real Rob Pongi, Please Stand Up" Eminem paraody. ]

I was just talking to Mrs. Taro about that Eminem paraody last night.

She was lamenting the boooooring nature of the "system engineers" she's working with and said she thought their work, "killed all the fun out of their brains."

I countered with, "but Honey what 'bout crazy Uncle John (coder at the NSA) or that guy Chris Taylor on the FG?"

"Well yeah, that rap you read to me about Rob Pongi was funny, ne."


----
The raps are found at http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3273&start=17

[GomiGirl]

... Just because you are standing there it doesn't mean that chicks fall over with their legs in the air.. doesn't matter how good looking you are ...

"GG, please refresh my memory: What is it exactly that us lads have to do that will make the girls fall over with their legs in the air?

Show them your ATM card?

Oh please, can we have any more cliche?

Imagine the roles are reversed.... you are a young woman standing around minding your own business and somebody is demanding your attention and then screams in your ear when you don't pay enough attention - to a complete stranger I might add, who could be an axe murderer or who could be a nice guy but you just don't know.. what do you think that you would do? Run a mile - that is what I would do.

Imagine the roles are reversed.. have some empathy of the other person's situation and not just what YOU want. That is how you charm the panties off somebody!!

Gone are the days of just clubbing somebody over the head and dragging them back to your cave by the hair. I know that makes people sad and disappointed, but some historical facts just can't be changed. So change with the times or be a dinosaur..

(is that stretching a metaphor just a tad too far?)

[Alcazar]

Show them your ATM card?

Oh please, can we have any more cliche?

Gone are the days of just clubbing somebody over the head and dragging them back to your cave by the hair. I know that makes people sad and disappointed, but some historical facts just can't be changed. So change with the times or be a dinosaur..

So GG, you're now telling us you accept visa and paypal?

[Big Booger]

Gone are the days of just clubbing somebody over the head and dragging them back to your cave by the hair.

Oh whatever happened to dem days?

[GomiGirl]

Show them your ATM card?

Oh please, can we have any more cliche?

Gone are the days of just clubbing somebody over the head and dragging them back to your cave by the hair. I know that makes people sad and disappointed, but some historical facts just can't be changed. So change with the times or be a dinosaur..

So GG, you're now telling us you accept visa and paypal?

So you are suggesting there is no middle ground to between the neanderthal and the hooker?

[kurohinge1]

Gone are the days of just clubbing somebody over the head and dragging them back to your cave by the hair ... So change with the times or be a dinosaur...

Lucky I've already found my female, as it sounds like our era has ended



But it was highly amusing to imagine that there may be a magic button that made girls FOWTLITA (above)

For those still with spurs on but no scruples, Frost's ATM comment reminds me of the urban myth of the lad who collected discarded ATM receipts (with very high account balances) to casually write his number on to hand to potentially shallow girls. [ *Fade to shot of FG's single lads frantically searching local ATM bins Friday night ...*]

[cstaylor]

I was just talking to Mrs. Taro about that Eminem paraody last night.

"Well yeah, that rap you read to me about Rob Pongi was funny, ne."

We aim to please. If you can't let loose and be creative once in a while, what's the point?

I think late hours do have a detrimental effect on creativity, which may explain strange behavior on the part of engineers at your wife's workplace.

[GomiGirl]

But it was highly amusing to imagine that there may be a magic button that made girls FOWTLITA (above)

Oh yes it the same magic button for every girl.. we all think the same way doncha know?? We just look different so you can tell us apart.

[sarcasm] But when in doubt - try a ruffie.. [/sarcasm]

[Caustic Saint]

For those still with spurs on but no scruples, Frost's ATM comment reminds me of the urban myth of the lad who collected discarded ATM receipts (with very high account balances) to casually write his number on to hand to potentially shallow girls. [ *Fade to shot of FG's single lads frantically searching local ATM bins Friday night ...*]

That's not an urban myth. Radio talk show host Tom Leykis advocates that approach when looking for a quick, shallow score. He's also even given away some of his own ATM receipts at live broadcasts - with 5- or 6-figure balances on them.

[Alcazar]

[sarcasm] But when in doubt - try a ruffie.. [/sarcasm]

GG's secret wish.....

[cstaylor]

That's not an urban myth. Radio talk show host Tom Leykis advocates that approach when looking for a quick, shallow score. He's also even given away some of his own ATM receipts at live broadcasts - with 5- or 6-figure balances on them.

Well, I'm sure a girl would attract the same class of person by wearing extra short shorts or semi-transparent clothing.

[Kanchou]

For those still with spurs on but no scruples, Frost's ATM comment reminds me of the urban myth of the lad who collected discarded ATM receipts (with very high account balances) to casually write his number on to hand to potentially shallow girls. [ *Fade to shot of FG's single lads frantically searching local ATM bins Friday night ...*]

That's not an urban myth. Radio talk show host Tom Leykis advocates that approach when looking for a quick, shallow score. He's also even given away some of his own ATM receipts at live broadcasts - with 5- or 6-figure balances on them.

He has the Olsen twins as Honorable Mentions for the Best Breasts in Hollywood...

I'm not sure whether to laugh, be creeped out, or turned on (hey, they're *ALMOST* legal!)...

Err, I'm gonna go with laugh.

[GomiGirl]

[sarcasm] But when in doubt - try a ruffie.. [/sarcasm]

GG's secret wish.....

Trust me - that is NOT my secret wish.

[kurohinge1]

... [sarcasm] But when in doubt - try a ruffie.. [/sarcasm]

Noooooohh! Not Ruffie !

That's not an urban myth. Radio talk show host Tom Leykis advocates that approach when looking for a quick, shallow score. He's also even given away some of his own ATM receipts at live broadcasts - with 5- or 6-figure balances on them.

That's hillarious.

Maybe that could be the next reality TV show we don't need ...

[kamome]

That's not an urban myth. Radio talk show host Tom Leykis advocates that approach when looking for a quick, shallow score. He's also even given away some of his own ATM receipts at live broadcasts - with 5- or 6-figure balances on them.

TOM LEYKIS!! Yeah, baby...I used to listen to him every single day back when I lived in Los Angeles.

[Caustic Saint]

That's not an urban myth. Radio talk show host Tom Leykis advocates that approach when looking for a quick, shallow score. He's also even given away some of his own ATM receipts at live broadcasts - with 5- or 6-figure balances on them.

TOM LEYKIS!! Yeah, baby...I used to listen to him every single day back when I lived in Los Angeles.

He's not nearly as good as you remember him. I used to listen to him all the time, too. When I was back in Seattle last summer I tuned back in. It's practically the same show every day now. Leykis 101 5 days a week. What a waste. I know that's what gets him ratings and brings in advertisers, but damn. Give it a rest sometimes.

His coverage of the whole Kobe Bryant deal was pretty good though.

There's a great local talk guy in Seattle named BJ Shea who's fantastic. I've met him at a few events and he's a real pro. Very personable, listens to his listeners and an genuinely nice dude. And he's funny as hell on the air too.

[kamome]

Leykis 101 5 days a week.

"Leykis 101: Teaching men how to get more tail for less money and teaching women how men think." I picked up a few good pearls of wisdom from that show but ignored alot because much of it didn't fit my personality.