I am a lazy whore. But I am whoreing for a job?

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

I need to make a CV in the next few hours. I normaly do it in word using the CV wizard. As is said I am a lazy whore. But a good recruiter is going to see past that fairly quick.


Update I only have 6 weeks left on myh Visa as a work visa can tak at leat a month I am in the shit.


Anyway does anybody have a profesional looking template. That shows I have good IT skills(again sorry I know I am a lazy fucker. Just theis is a job I need to apply for today! ) It has to look very profesional with loads of tables and nice margins. Again I would use the word one but it does not look right.


Really this is urgent.
You can send the template to wabi-sabi@japan.com

No more 419 scam please if i get another i am going to fly over to nigeria dismember your families with a machetti and nigger woop you using they legs a clubs. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

[cstaylor]

I dare you to submit your CV with that dancing tub of lard as the photo.

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

[quote="cstaylor"]I dare you to submit your CV with that dancing tub of lard as the photo. ]

If I do it what will you do if I carry it out. I could always inbed it a a layer somewhere on a document.

I just noticed you said as the photo. Well I might even do that. If it was an online cv I could always encode it into the jpg or even just use flmask or gmask to distort it. Like old japanese mosaics A clever person coult unmast it and bring it back to the orginal.

[cstaylor]

If you do it, I'll subsidize outsourcing your template making to Ultra's talented cat. I can probably scare up some wasabi-flavored catnip or something.

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

I know I am lazy bitch. But I seriously need help. If I dont get a job I will end up going back to the bloody UK.


If I go who will you have to talk to at all thoes social events we mutaly attend. Its always nice to have somebody to talk to aint it?


Please please please I have to stay here. What will you do with out me. I just noticed I still have not got a template in my email.

[cstaylor]

Well, post your resume here so we can read it. Maybe somebody who reads the site know somebody who needs a particular skill?

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

Well, post your resume here so we can read it. Maybe somebody who reads the site know somebody who needs a particular skill?

I have found the job i wish to apply for. Just i need a Nice template for word or something. Just when I print it it will look good.

[cstaylor]

Sorry, can't help you there. My last few jobs have all been word of mouth, and when they need a resume, ASCII has worked fine.

Have you looked for a web template or something? Sorry that's not very useful...

[cstaylor]

Is your cat available for contract work? We're looking for a talented QA person, but we left "human" off the job description. Does he shed much?

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

Have you looked for a web template or something? Sorry that's not very useful...

That reayy is unuseful. Can you imagine the shite that will come if i type template or wizzard into google. I do have the ability, Just really short on time.

Or does somebody have an idea or really good software for that kind of thing. I just am a bit fed up of word.

[GomiGirl]

2 second Google results.

Come on NeoNecro.. it is not hard to figure it out on your own. Plus you can choose your own fonts etc.. A resume just needs basic information and needs to be clean and professional. You are going for an IT job not a design job so just follow the KIS(S) principle...

If you want to tart it up, get some nice paper from the stationary shops.. you can buy good quality paper in 20 sheet packs for cheap.

Most resume's are only skim read anyway. You don't need a template.

Name
Address
Age (optional)
marital status (optional)
Nationality

Core Skills/competencies (bullet point and make sure they are relevant to the job you are applying for)

Job history (From most recent)
Date started to date finished
Company name (location)
Bullet point summaries of your role and responsibilities

Education

Special achievements

Hobbies (optional)

References (upon request)

Finito..

Check your spelling!! If I read a resume from a native English speaker that has poor spelling or grammar it is immediately filed in the round metal file.

[cstaylor]

Is your cat available for contract work? We're looking for a talented QA person, but we left "human" off the job description. Does he shed much?

He's very well-groomed. I'll send over his salary requirements, but to be honest, it might be tough for him to squeeze you into his schedule.

We're always looking for top-notch talent. Maybe he can squeeze us into his fourth or fifth life?

[GomiGirl]

Is your cat available for contract work? We're looking for a talented QA person, but we left "human" off the job description. Does he shed much?

He's very well-groomed. I'll send over his salary requirements, but to be honest, it might be tough for him to squeeze you into his schedule.

What with all the scheduled nap times?

Actually that would be great to negotiate into a contract..

I would offer my kitty, but she is writing her memoirs at present.

But she has been introducing herself to my neighbours. I arrived home at my usual 1am to a note in my letterbox. Kitty was spending the evening with my neighbour (whom I hadn't met yet) and I was to pick her up when I arrived home.

Kitty had managed to open the glass sliding door and slip out onto the balcony, where she jumped across to the neighbours balcony.. The balconies are not joined and I am on the third floor above a busy road.

But kitty was very good, and had obviously not been able to scratch around in the litter box for some hours as that is where she first headed to once I got her in the door.

Neighbour was very nice about it all and notes of "I am so very sorry to inconvenience you" and "It really is no bother" have been exchanged via letter boxes. *must buy her some fruit over the weekend*

[Taro Toporific]

... when they need a resume, ASCII has worked fine....

Guess what happens to EVERY resume submitted electronically at Maybe-the-Largest-in-Japan Inc?

We automatically rip it ASCII plain text and index the keywords. Resumes like the one you're planning with the "complex tables" seldom make it throught that auto-ASCII rip, and SO THOSE RESUMES ARE OFTEN IGNORED.

If you want a mega-coporation job, always email an ASCII resume.

At the interview present them with a resume w/small photo, printed on , only 1 page of clean while bond paper and without any font frou-frou. In Japan, the more boring the resume the better. Buy the Japanese form you can get in any stationary store. See the thread: Give me the full deal on Japanese resumes

[mr. sparkle]

If you want a mega-coporation job, always email an ASCII resume.

Turn it off if you have a Mac. I sent Taro a blank email until he sussed it out. I didn't send ASCII.

Lesson Learned!

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

Come on NeoNecro.. it is not hard to figure it out on your own. Plus you can choose your own fonts etc.. A resume just needs basic information and needs to be clean and professional. You are going for an IT job not a design job so just follow the KIS(S) principle...

Thanks for the ideas. But I do what something that looks very clean and profesional. In Uni my best results came from my design based subjects. I get over conserned with image. If I was hiring somebody and they gave me a CV with no style at all I would just run them out the door. Even the CV's in work dont look so bad.

I realy just need an exaple of a nice looking one, something like this:



But a tiny bit less styalised.

[GomiGirl]

If you know what you want - why are you asking on the board?

Unless you want somebody else to write it for you..

(Don't bother asking me as I have a life of my own to deal with. )

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

Taro: Good points, but I am trying to excape my ASCII porn habits.

Ultra: I was going to copy some of it but still the layout is not exactly for me. I am looking for a resume an architect or some design orientated person would give.

Gomi: I know what I want but it is hard to find what I want. Also I like starting some discussion on what is the best issue.

As the start of the tread states I am pretty lazy. Any graphic designers out there?

[GomiGirl]

As the start of the tread states I am pretty lazy. Any graphic designers out there?

So what you really want is for somebody else to do it for you?

Note - this is not something that you should include in the content of your resume. Not really a trait that employers are looking for in an employee.

NeoNecro.. stop fart-arsing around and focusing on the appearance and just get the resume in. There is no point having a fabulous looking resume, if it is late because you will NOT get the job. Isn't that the point of a resume anyway???

[vvx]

That one looks just like the ones created with Word's resume wizard.

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

I almost missed that one again CS.

[cstaylor]

That's the only secret power I have on this board. There are forces here that are more powerful than I, and against some I have not yet been tested...

[Caustic Saint]

I need to make a CV in the next few hours. I normaly do it in word using the CV wizard. As is said I am a lazy whore. But a good recruiter is going to see past that fairly quick.

Update I only have 6 weeks left on myh Visa as a work visa can tak at leat a month I am in the shit.

If you're too lazy to do it yourself, clearly you're not that interested in staying in Japan. If staying here meant that much to you, you'd get off your ass and get it done, not post on FG whining for help and blaming your laziness.

Have fun back in the UK.

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

I need to make a CV in the next few hours. I normaly do it in word using the CV wizard. As is said I am a lazy whore. But a good recruiter is going to see past that fairly quick.

Update I only have 6 weeks left on myh Visa as a work visa can tak at leat a month I am in the shit.

If you're too lazy to do it yourself, clearly you're not that interested in staying in Japan. If staying here meant that much to you, you'd get off your ass and get it done, not post on FG whining for help and blaming your laziness.

Have fun back in the UK.

I am too lazy to blame something else or anybody else. I have a job lined up in the UK just I dont want to go back before the great Japanese Summer. I want something better than I would Do by myself lol.

[Alcazar]

Neo, doing a resume should be sort of fun. You get to look at all your good points tabled together-I like updating mine. It's sort of like a life story in some ways. It should make you feel good.

Besides, if it's on a computer file like it should be, then all you have to do is update it-you don't have to change a great deal each time. Look at your old one and consider what has changed.

[GomiGirl]

Neo, doing a resume should be sort of fun. You get to look at all your good points tabled together-I like updating mine. It's sort of like a life story in some ways. It should make you feel good.

Are you working now?

[Alcazar]

Neo, doing a resume should be sort of fun. You get to look at all your good points tabled together-I like updating mine. It's sort of like a life story in some ways. It should make you feel good.

Are you working now?

Yep, but it's just a temporary thing-I'm in the process of moving towards what I would like to do for a period-eikaiwa in Japan.

[Alcazar]

Right now I'm working hard in a gay steel mill. It's OK I guess, but it's not what I want to do forever.


http://www.kweer.net/homerphobe/homerphobe2.html

[kamome]

No more 419 scam please if i get another i am going to fly over to nigeria dismember your families with a machetti and nigger woop you using they legs a clubs. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Neonecro, what's with using this language? Maybe you were "joking", but I'm surprised no one has reamed you for this yet.

Neo: I'm trying to start a few flame attacks. It's been a tough day at work, sorry.

[Alcazar]

Common, PC is dying. He made a mistake, it's not part of a nasty pattern, so let's not start a witchhunt.

Neo can't spell anyway, he wants to fly to Nigeria to charm and disarm them with macchiatos or something.

i am going to fly over to nigeria dismember your families with a machetti

That's nice I guess.