Decisions...

by **cowboy charlie** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 1:45 pm

Has anyone married their Japanese significant other, packed their shit up, and moved to Japan? I'm really thinking about it as my girl and I have talked about marriage, and at this point I see no reason to stay here in the states anymore. Yes, Japan and the Japanese can drive me up the wall occasionally, but atleast I have an idea of what is behind this door I'm thinking of walking through.

Am I the only one?

by **cstaylor** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 1:54 pm

I did it, but you need to think about work. What are you going to do when you move here?

by **cstaylor** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 2:41 pm

bikkle wrote:
cstaylor wrote:I did it...

I would say that's a pretty strong argument against it. :P

Yeah, no shit. :lol:

by **omae mona** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 3:49 pm

bikkle wrote:
cstaylor wrote:I did it...

I would say that's a pretty strong argument against it. :P

<-- There's another one :roll:

cowboy charlie wrote:Has anyone married their Japanese significant other, packed their shit up, and moved to Japan?

Yeah, but I had a few years reprieve in the middle before the move.

cstaylor is right about the work.

cowboy charlie wrote:What up FG's,
I am curious how much yen a FG could expect to earn bartending in Tokyo?

If that's still what you're thinking about doing, I got a hunch that the typical uptight Japanese in-laws are not going to be thrilled about a foreigner bartender son-in-law. Hope you've talked to them about this. This should not stop you from marryin' the gal you love, but know what you're getting into.

Have you spent significant time with her in Japan? Hasn't been a problem with me or anybody I know, but I often hear 3rd-party stories about the "moved to Japan and my wife turned into a monster" syndrome. Remember you'll be on her turf. It's not completely without reason that the haigusha visa is often jokingly referred to as a "pet visa".

by **AssKissinger** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 3:59 pm

It's not completely without reason that the haigusha visa is often jokingly referred to as a "pet visa".

:rofl: I haven't heard that one before but it's funny (in a scary kind of way).

by **cstaylor** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:27 pm

omae mona wrote:Have you spent significant time with her in Japan? Hasn't been a problem with me or anybody I know, but I often hear 3rd-party stories about the "moved to Japan and my wife turned into a monster" syndrome. Remember you'll be on her turf. It's not completely without reason that the haigusha visa is often jokingly referred to as a "pet visa".

Yeah, my suggestion is to keep at least $10k in an account only in your name back in your home country. If things get out of hand, you can leave and have some spare cash to survive until you find work. In no circumstances use that money to buy any property in Japan, because if there's a divorce, you just bought your ex-wife a lovely piece of property.

Did I mention that I'm paranoid? You never know what could happen, you're already putting too much trust on your wife to do the right thing, so keeping escape cash is the least you can do to keep your peace of mind.

by **ramchop** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:30 pm

You can buy a lovely piece of property in Japan for $10K?

by **cstaylor** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:48 pm

ramchop wrote:You can buy a lovely piece of property in Japan for $10K?

:cough: Can you say "downpayment"? Most people can't afford the entire purchase up front... or how about mortgage payments?

by **AssKissinger** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:52 pm

taylor makes a good point though. The J-wife controls the cards out here. Make sure you really trust her.

by **cstaylor** » Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:54 pm

Or just do what I did when I came here. When confronted with the Japanese way of handing your paycheck to your wife, just say no. We have separate accounts, and I carefully check my statements to look for changes.

The way I framed it, "Why should you bear all the responsibility for managing our finances? We both work, so we should both carry the burden."

by **cowboy charlie** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:23 am

Right on.

I suppose I will be able to find some work as an English teacher, bartender, or something in graphic design. I don't expect my girl to turn into a Scrooge with my money as she can barely count. Haha.

How much time after marriage does it take to be eligible for legal work in Japan?

by **AssKissinger** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:29 am

How much time after marriage does it take to be eligible for legal work in Japan?

If you get married at home you'll be able to get your visa before even coming here. As for me, I just hand over my salary to my wife and take an allowance lke a J-sissy. I trust her completely. Not that I have anything to lose.

by **cowboy charlie** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:32 am

No kidding. Any advantantages or disadvantages to marrying in either country?

by **AssKissinger** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:58 am

Eventually, you'll probably end up doing it in both countries. But it's obviously advantageous to marry at home first. If not you won't have a spouse visa when you get here. A spouse visa opens up a lot of work possiblities. It's pretty easy to get English teaching work, especially if the the company doesn't have to sponsor your visa.

1)Get married in your country
2)Register your marriage with the Japanese consulate
3) Get a spouse visa
4) Move to Japan
5) Get a J-Job
6) Commit suicide

by **Taro Toporific** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 1:07 pm

1)Get married in your country
2)Register your marriage with the Japanese consulate
3) Get a spouse visa
4) Move to Japan
5) Get a J-Job
5.5 GO INSANE
6) Become Emperor

by **AssKissinger** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 1:18 pm

1)Get married in your country
2)Register your marriage with the Japanese consulate
3) Get a spouse visa
4) Move to Japan
5) Get a blow job
6) Get divorced
7) Go home broke and too old to find work

by **NeoNecroNomiCron** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 1:39 pm

Taro Toporific wrote:6) Become Emperor

Do you want me to set you up with some new clothes? I have got the best of everything. Nothing you can buy in the shops. How about it? They have to be seen to be belived!

by **NeoNecroNomiCron** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 1:41 pm

1) Join Japanese Internet dating service.
2) Email the woman of my dreams.
3) Start to plan my life around her
4) Obsess about her
5) Find Out the Truth
6) Commit Suicide.

by **Taro Toporific** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:10 pm

1) Join a acting school in NYC with Japanese girls.
2) Meet a charming if chunky Japanese girl of your dreams.
3) Follow her to Japan.
4) Remain unemployed for 4 months only to have Taro takes pitty on you and finds you a 1,00yen/hr English school job.
5) Propose marrage to the always smiling J-girl.
6) Find Out the Truth.
7) Her daddy owns EIGHT (8) apartment buildings and the girl's family gives you a couple conds and summer homes along with directorship of the "Tokyo office" as a wedding gift.

TRUE STORY.

by **GargoyleTS** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:12 pm

Gee Taro, that sux.

P.S. Know any single charming if chunky and lonely Japanese girls who are into perverted Gai's?

by **Taro Toporific** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:40 pm

[quote="GargoyleTS"]Gee Taro, that sux.
P.S. Know any single charming if chunky and lonely Japanese girls who are into perverted Gai's? ]

She was an ABSOLUTE sweetheart and all-night-every-night love bunny in bed....and she still is 10 years after. Plus she lost the chunkiness after she got back to eating Japanese food. :P

As a counter-example, such bliss is 1-in-100 farkquing rare for FGs.

by **GargoyleTS** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:25 pm

Lucky guy! I hope I and every one here (who deserves it;)) finds a similar match someday. (soon, please God soon!)

by **gkanai** » Mon Mar 22, 2004 5:41 pm

[quote="GargoyleTS"]Lucky guy! I hope I and every one here (who deserves it]

You sound like any one of the myriad Japanese women who are waiting for a gaikokujin Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet and into a new lifestyle overseas :lol:

by **cowboy charlie** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:10 am

LMAO!

Good stuff. I appreciate it.

by **mnine** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:14 am

gkanai wrote:
GargoyleTS wrote:Lucky guy! I hope I and every one here (who deserves it]

You sound like any one of the myriad Japanese women who are waiting for a gaikokujin Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet and into a new lifestyle overseas

double-wide, baby!

by **String** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:41 am

mnine wrote:
gkanai wrote:
GargoyleTS wrote:Lucky guy! I hope I and every one here (who deserves it]

You sound like any one of the myriad Japanese women who are waiting for a gaikokujin Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet and into a new lifestyle overseas

double-wide, baby!

"Cletus Goes to Japan"

by **cowboy charlie** » Fri Mar 26, 2004 7:13 am

Out of curiousity, is it as easy for Japanese to get spousal visa's for work in the States?

by **Taro Toporific** » Fri Mar 26, 2004 9:02 am

cowboy charlie wrote:Out of curiousity, is it as easy for Japanese to get spousal visa's for work in the States?

For a US spousal visa, see http://japan.usembassy.gov/e/tvisa-main.html
Best amount of time is 3 weeks.
Worst time amount of time is 8+ months.
Average time amount of time is about 3 months.

BOTTOM LINE: Always plan ahead.

The smart idea is to apply for the "pre-entry" spousal visa, the " I-130 petition", get the pre-approval, then hold on to the pre-approval papers till the time they are actually needed: "after an immigrant petition is approved, can the foreign relative start the second step".

Also http://japan.usembassy.gov/e/visa/tvisa-7137c.html
"U.S. military personnel and American citizens who are long-term residents of Japan do not need to appear at the Embassy and are strongly encouraged to send in their I-130 petitions by mail. "

Find your exact situation and choose the proceedure here
http://japan.usembassy.gov/e/visa/tvisa-7136.html

Wicked BOTTOM LINE: Wait to the last minute, and then get a 3 to 8 month vacation from your wife. :twisted:

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