You arrive at the SF Airport and are greeted with a smile
Your cab driver wears a turban (another Gaijin), and actually talks to you giving you directions while is driving
You find a job in Silicon Valley within one week even though your Engrish only speak a little.
You can't believe your starting salary of $200,000.
You buy a house in Gilroy (5,000 sq. ft.) for $850,000.
You are surprised that all of your new neighbors are Asian
You find gasoline very cheap at $2.50 per gallon.
You take up a new hobby (bonsai) and all of your teachers are Gaijin.
You watch Fuji TV every Saturday night to see doramas that you had seen five year ago in Japan (you even start reading the Engrish subtitles).
Your teenage daughter starts talking in Engrish phrases you can't understand (You tell her to be more like good American girl Kristi Yamaguchi).
You need to be more American so you join the F'd Gaijin Forum under the moniker of "Americajin San."
You miss Tokyo nightlife so you become a "Roppongi Happy Hour" fan.
You buy Mr. Sparkle's book and begin making your own "Chinatown Happy Hour videos" with Miss Jen as co-hostess.
Your daughter begins dating nice American boy and you quickly know the meaning of "hafu/happa."
You ask for advice on the F'd Gaijin Forum as to what went wrong with your life.
:P
