Welcome to Japan....how is it?

[llkoole7]

Well..umm i kinda feel outta place here since i don't actually live in Japan..i hope to one day when i finish college but besides that i would like to know...What was your first week in Nihon like when u got off the plane?

[sirwanksalot]

Fine thank you and you.?.?


I hope that sums it all up.

[Thanatos' embalmed botfly]

1st week? Agog at lolly. Lolly-gagging. Penis immediately began sending a steady, una-fucking-bated stream of signed notes to the brain, all saying the same thing; "LEARN THE LANGUAGE, FUCKFACE, THESE ONES LOOK VERY DIFFERENT TO THE ONES IN NEW ZEALAND."

This barrage, in tandem with the Chiba heat of that fateful summer of 94, addled my brain irrepairably and, not indirectly, 10 years later, led me to this website.



Best of luck for the future, Mr llkoole7.

[AssKissinger]

10 years later

You've been here ten years? Oh Jesus now I know what happened to you.

[Andocrates]

I remember flying into Narita and seeing Kanji on buildings - it was so weird. Then at customs I was trying to be polite and told the customs agent "wakatta" which is plain speech and was quite rude in that situation. I remember the look on the guys face, it was like I slapped him.

Then came the realization that I did not speak Japanese, that I was taught a worthless Gaijin pig-latin that proved useless in even the most mundane of tasks. That pissed me off more then anything.

Then the first sight of real Japanese school-girls at Tokyo Station was really weird. But, with the first sight of them came the realization they were just kids and not at all like J-porn makes them out. (I'm a bit ashamed at that one) There is panchira everywhere but somehow it's not the least bit sexy. In the same way seeing a boob in Africa isn't sexy.

Then lastly the realization that the Japanese had no interest in me, and worse then that looked down on me like Americans might look down on Filipinos. It's hard when you realize that.

But then, you start to make your own life and stuff comes into focus. At that point you can enjoy and appreciate the weirdness everywhere.

[AssKissinger]

There is panchira everywhere but somehow it's not the least bit sexy.

seeing a boob in Africa isn't sexy

Then lastly the realization that the Japanese had no interest in me, and worse then that looked down on me like Americans might look down on Filipinos. It's hard when you realize that.

You're white aren't you?

When you first get here everything you say gets a 'sugoi' and then you realize that 'sugoi' is code for 'Who gives a fuck?'. Then you start to catch your stride. But I wouldn't go so far as to say JPN have no interest in foreigners. It's just that you can't build a friendship on it and it's all they can see. But who cares? It will get you laid!

[Skankster]

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Japan smells like fish.

But thats OK! Korea smells likek garlic, chili, and fart.

[mr. sparkle]

Like landing on a different planet dude. Especially if you arrive at night. Once daylight arrives, you've finally realized what you've done.

That's right, you've landed on the Planet of the Apes!

Be careful what you look for llkoole7, you may not like what you find.



YOU MANIACS. YOU BLEW IT UP. DAMN YOU. GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.

Japan was once a paradise. Their breed made a desert of it, ages ago. (Blame the God damn Ministries of Concrete!)

Then you find your own Dr. Zira (looking past the silly nose) to make out with, and that makes it all better again....

[kotatsuneko]

Be careful what you look for llkoole7, you may not like what you find.

couldnt have put it better...

[Big Booger]

The first time I came to Japan was back in 1997. I came to propose to my then girlfriend. And to ask the parents to marry her. When I arrived I was geeked out. I'd never flown before, never rode a train or bus, never been in a city larger than 100,000 people, barely spoke Japanese * I had taken one year of it in college before coming....

One thing I noticed was that wherever I went I was usually taller than everyone else around me, except for a few of the younger fartknockers. People stared at me every time I went out.

I liked the fact that at 19 I could drink it up and get wild in bars and such. Was never carded. Beer machines threw me for a loop.. i was hitting them up quite often.

The toliets in train stations smelled awful, but you never had to press anything.. it was all automatic.. Especially Kyoto station.

The food was excellent. There were so many new dishes to try it was like a babe in a candy store. Natto nearly killed me. So did Mackerel sushi.

Every where I went I had to take off my shoes.. wasn't used to that. The bathtub and toliet being in different rooms was odd at first but then it made total sense.

I went to the boonies and the semi drove me nutts.. frogs croaking in the tambo.. and at night a fire truck would come by banging a bell.. that was odd.

This was all at Christmas time so it was cold as balls for me.. I wasn't prepared for arctic conditions indoors... (later on I learned to wear thermal underwear.. still do)..

Christmas sucks in Japan.. and I never got the whole Christmas cake wing wang.. But then the grand daddy holiday of them all, New Years was excellent. I got hammered, went to a temple and got hammered some more, went to a restaurant and got hammered some more.. then a coffee shop and finally back home at 5 in the morning... it was crazy.

That sums up my first impressions.

[AssKissinger]

19

We're you 19 when you got engaged?

[Big Booger]

19

We're you 19 when you got engaged?

I was engaged at 19 and married at 20. been married for 6 years now.

[Goldman]

Not on topic, but I just thought it was interesting because I am in the same boat as you BB. Got engaged here in Japan at 19, turned twenty, and just married my sweetie about a month ago. Wish you and your woman the best!

[cstaylor]

I was engaged at 19 and married at 20. been married for 6 years now.

Wow, that should qualify you for double-fucked status. Not that there's anything wrong with getting married young, but wow, that's a quick one.

On another note, I had no idea that you were only 26.... I was thinking more like 35+.

[Caustic Saint]

I was engaged at 19 and married at 20. been married for 6 years now.

On another note, I had no idea that you were only 26.... I was thinking more like 35+.

Just imagine how cranky he'll be at 40!

[Big Booger]

Yep, 26 and still kicking

[Oradea]

I was supposed to get married in may.

But i woke up one chiily february morning, sober as ive ever been, and set that situation right.

[AssKissinger]

Yep, 26 and still kicking

You're my youngest sempai! But don't you feel a little cheated not getting a freshman nampa year?

[Big Booger]

Yep, 26 and still kicking

You're my youngest sempai! But don't you feel a little cheated not getting a freshman nampa year?

I got my nampa all done in high school.. and well the year before I met my wife, hehehe.. in fact when my wife and I were dating, she'd get mad cause I'd have girls calling my house 24/7 while she was there.. it was fucking hilarious.. She'd say something like "who was that?" And I'd be like, "a friend" and she'd frown and puff up... And then I'd have to smooth things over a bit.

But coming to Japan and having free reign would have been a bit overwhelming.. I might have sexxxed myself to death here..

Oradea, what the hell? You broke off your wedding?

[Andocrates]

[kotatsuneko]

introducing....

Evil Pongi's "sinjuku" (sic) sex tours! :P