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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto

Olympics needs more gladiators and less poofs.

Groovin' in the Gaijin Gulag
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Olympics needs more gladiators and less poofs.

Postby Thanatos' embalmed botfly » Sun Aug 22, 2004 5:47 pm

The Olympics needs to get rid of sissies posing as athletes and get back to it's original gladiatorial roots.

To start with, most of the sports would benefit from rucking and mauling being permitted. For example, table tennis. If an opponent should gloat with, say, a loud "Sa!" when a point is lost, this should be construed as free reign to simply pursue the athlete and ruck the ball, I mean paddle, from her hand. If need be, the petrified child should be chased through the stands. I, for one, would pay cash money to witness this spectacle. No rucking to the face, of course. Although, naturally, if the child tried to protect the ball, I mean paddle, using her face this could be construed as time-wasting. Then, by all means, the boot should not be spared. This would not only exemplify and personify the Olympic gladiator spirit, but go a long way towards de-poofifying totally gay-bar sports, such as table tennis.

Bragging is not chivalrous. It is unsportsmanlike. As all those who have experienced it can attest, a good, hard rucking is a sobering, vivid reminder of your mortality and brings with it a sizeable measure of humility. When Graeme Mourie dove over in the corner to win the match against the Welsh in 1979, after the glorious scissors move with Stu Wilson, did he rub it in by shaking his fist and shouting "Sa!" in the face of JPR Williams? No. He trudged inscrutably back towards halfway, as all good kiwi jokers do.

Baseball too would benefit from rucking. Once the ball is hit, all bets are off. Rather than sitting there slovenly adjusting the angle of their respective dangles, the dugouts should clear after each hit, bench players forming a rolling maul to propel the hitter towards 1st base. In turn, the opposing team should converge from all corners to prevent this encroachment. Just imagine. Centerfielders sprinting in to repel the driving maul as it slowly grinds towards it's goal. Games would be shortened to 80 minutes, "innings" rendered irrelevant. Transform it from a bore of attrition, to a war of attrition.

No more pandering to special interest groups, aka, women, either. If you're not athletic enough, fuck off. Yes, that means you, women softballers. Can't help but notice that they throw, run and hit, frankly, like girls. A decent 14 year-old boys team could outplay most of them. I'm all for equality. Thats why gendered divisions should be dissolved.

Swimming should be scrapped. Humans holding their breathe and writhing to stay afloat? How unbecoming. Swimming is for fish. Oxygen deprivation is dangerous for humans. Why be a victim? Nothing gladiatorial there.

No more weight classes. Law of the jungle should rule. Olympic champions shouldn't be runts.

No more fat cunts either, please. Anyone less athletic than me can watch on the telly at home with the rest of us. Except the weightlifters. And hammer throwers. For, into their fish and chips, I would not piss. Other fat cunts need to qualify be beating, say, me, in a scrap. I reckon I could take half those poofter archers and synchronized swimmers.
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Postby AssKissinger » Sun Aug 22, 2004 6:09 pm

To start with, most of the sports would benefit from rucking and mauling being permitted. For example, table tennis. If an opponent should gloat with, say, a loud "Sa!" when a point is lost, this should be construed as free reign to simply pursue the athlete and ruck the ball, I mean paddle, from her hand. If need be, the petrified child should be chased through the stands. I, for one, would pay cash money to witness this spectacle.



Image

I do like her. That's why I'd pay good cash money to redden her bottom with that very paddle.
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Postby Ol Dirty Gaijin » Sun Aug 22, 2004 8:42 pm

Drugs should also be legal. Hell most athletes cycle in the off-season, anything that is not banned is tried until it is. Let them all become FREAKS and the true sports begin. The greedy and insane will win. AND WHAT A SIGHT IT WOULD BE.
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Postby dimwit » Sun Aug 22, 2004 9:26 pm

Ol Dirty Gaijin wrote:Drugs should also be legal. Hell most athletes cycle in the off-season, anything that is not banned is tried until it is. Let them all become FREAKS and the true sports begin. The greedy and insane will win. AND WHAT A SIGHT IT WOULD BE.


To what extent is that any different from the way it is now? Now that they have a test for Human Growth Hormone it would be interesting to go back and retest some of Flo-Jo samples.

For that matter what about "clean" Carl Lewis in 1988

http://www.passyourdrugtest.com/04-18-2003-news.htm

Reality is that they almost all use drugs but only the dumb ones get caught. :?
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Postby Ol Dirty Gaijin » Sun Aug 22, 2004 11:25 pm

dimwit wrote:To what extent is that any different from the way it is now? Now that they have a test for Human Growth Hormone it would be interesting to go back and retest some of Flo-Jo samples.

For that matter what about "clean" Carl Lewis in 1988

http://www.passyourdrugtest.com/04-18-2003-news.htm

Reality is that they almost all use drugs but only the dumb ones get caught. :?

Exactly, so make it legal. These "clean" ones have won. Save money testing, holding samples etc and have everyone eating Rhino wang and drinking the latest HGH PCP LSD TPOCL whatever or BIO grafting and throw more science at sport. Three legged runners, flippered swimmers, beach volleyball players with 3 butt checks. It's limitless. The ultimate in entertainment.
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Postby Adhesive » Mon Aug 23, 2004 4:17 pm

A new special, special olympics?
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Postby dimwit » Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:06 pm

What they need to do is make some of these sports full contact. Think of the possiblities:

Full Contact Rhythm Gymnastics

Full Contact Weightlifting

One on One Archery

Dodge Ball Shot Put :P
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Postby Taro Toporific » Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:09 pm

dimwit wrote:What they need to do is make some of these sports full contact. Think of the possiblities:
Full Contact Rhythm Gymnastics


YES!

NUDE, CO-ED, Full-Contact Rhythm Gymnastics :love2:

Let's Rhythm Gymnastics happy!
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Postby GomiGirl » Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:34 pm

Taro Toporific wrote:
dimwit wrote:What they need to do is make some of these sports full contact. Think of the possiblities:
Full Contact Rhythm Gymnastics


YES!

NUDE, CO-ED, Full-Contact Rhythm Gymnastics :love2:

Let's Rhythm Gymnastics happy!


OOOHHHH gross!! Have you seen the un-natural poses those girls do?? Very very skilled but so very very unsexy. To see them naked would make me :puke:
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Postby Steve Bildermann » Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:43 pm

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let's un-natural poses

Postby Taro Toporific » Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:45 pm

GomiGirl wrote:OOOHHHH gross!! Have you seen the un-natural poses those girls do??


Ok but I know you would be amused by naked mens' gymnastics on the pommel horse. Ouch.
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Postby Ol Dirty Gaijin » Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:57 pm

GomiGirl wrote:
dimwit wrote:Full Contact Rhythm Gymnastics

OOOHHHH gross!! Have you seen the un-natural poses those girls do?? Very very skilled but so very very unsexy. To see them naked would make me :puke:


Could make catching that ribbon event more interesting
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Postby GomiGirl » Mon Aug 23, 2004 6:08 pm

Ol Dirty Gaijin wrote:
GomiGirl wrote:
dimwit wrote:Full Contact Rhythm Gymnastics

OOOHHHH gross!! Have you seen the un-natural poses those girls do?? Very very skilled but so very very unsexy. To see them naked would make me :puke:


Could make catching that ribbon event more interesting


Combine this event with table-tennis and you could have ping-pong ball juggling just like they have in certain "clubs"...

actually a team event could put all of the strip clubs out of business for the duration of the games.
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Postby cstaylor » Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:24 pm

AssKissinger wrote:Image

I do like her. That's why I'd pay good cash money to redden her bottom with that very paddle.
You gotta be kidding me... she looks like a little panda bear. 8O
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Postby AssKissinger » Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:35 pm

cstaylor wrote:
AssKissinger wrote:Image

I do like her. That's why I'd pay good cash money to redden her bottom with that very paddle.
You gotta be kidding me... she looks like a little panda bear. 8O


All the more reason to spank that little bottom.
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Postby same » Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:36 pm

The ancient olympics was naked so why not these ones. Some of those women's wrestling positions could get interesting. :wink:

Japan better not win any more medals or Greece will run out of tissues. Or lose any, for that matter. :roll:
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Postby Taro Toporific » Wed Aug 25, 2004 1:28 pm

Ol Dirty Gaijin wrote:....Human Growth Hormone... have everyone eating Rhino wang and drinking the latest HGH PCP LSD TPOCL whatever or BIO grafting and throw more science at sport. Three legged runners, flippered swimmers, beach volleyball players with 3 butt checks. It's limitless. The ultimate in entertainment.


Here ya go...the CatWoman in the 100 meter sprint!
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Gail Devers of the US prepares to start her women's 100 meter heat of the 2004 Olympic Games
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Postby Blah Pete » Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:41 pm

Here ya go...the CatWoman in the 100 meter sprint!

With claws like that she should be a wrestler.
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