I am an English teacher (funny stuff)

[American Oyaji]

http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher.html

This guy writes his experiences as an English teacher in Japan.

Pretty funny stuff.

[Failsafe]

That is actually quite funny and a good read.

Let me introduce you to a game Japanese kids like to play called "Kancho."

Actually, it's not so much a "game" as it is kids clasping their hands together, sticking out their first fingers, and shoving them up your butt. I'm really not joking and just about any kid can be a Kancho Assassin.

I'd say the little girls are the most dangerous cause they have natural ways of lowering your defenses.

I was pretty lucky. Before I came, I bought a really big, really baggy pair of pants. The kids try to Kancho...but they just have no idea where my ass is! It's beautiful! I had one kid try and find his fingers hit nothing but jean fabric and air. Yes! But I've actually gotten pretty good at dodging it, much like Spider-man I have developed a Kancho Sense that tells me where and when it's coming before it comes. I parry fingers like a pro. My record is still 100% Kancho Free. Ha! America 2, Japan 0.

[FG Lurker]

It's funny, but the guy is a wee bit on the slow side sometimes:

I think I mentioned one of my teachers before, she's really Americanized and her English is pretty good. I hear her using slang and cursing all the time, and it never fails to floor me. You'd think I'd get used to it at some point, but nope, each time she finds a new level of shocking.

The last time, we were talking about my (sort of) ex-girlfriend, and in frustration, she said in earnest "Man! I hate it when bitches like that get laid and I'm not getting laid!"

I would like to remind you that this is a Japanese girl speaking English as a second language. I don't hear that kind of stuff often from American women. I couldn't believe it. Later that day, I was still reeling from that when she showed me she was capable of upping the ante.

She came by my desk to talk, and we were talking about being single, and I said that it seems like when you are actively looking for someone people don't want you. Her face lit up in agreement, as she said "I know! It's like I've just got this aura around me that tells everyone 'I just want to fuck!'"

Maybe she was trying to tell me something.

NO SHIT Sherlock! You really think so?