Was this my dream?

[karekora]

Life in London is simplier. I had good friends, I had a good job and I had my family around me giving me support if needed. Nobody judged me.

Strangely, because I came from North London, I was always made to feel "boring" by teachers because I came from London, my parents came from London, I was 100% a Londoner. Everyone around me I was told was more "interesting" because they came from different backgrounds. Stupidly gullible, I wished I was from another background. This is what schooling in London taught me. It made me think that being 100% English was not good enough.

Maybe thats why I wanted to come to Japan. I want to be different - someone from another background. But whats the big deal? Underneath, whatever background you may come from, your human, with generally the same hopes and needs. Every one is equal. So why was I made to feel inadaquate?

Japan. Ive accepted that it is true, I like Japan from a distance. I love the cute things you can buy, the design, the architecture, and some of the people. I love walking down the street and being able to read the kanji and understand it. I love being able to have short conversation with total strangers about my country and why Ive come here. I hate the judgemental looks, the stupid air of authority, the politeness levels and coldness. I hate the fact that at the end of the day, Japan thinks "We are right, you are wrong"

I come from London. I might do things a little differently than you. I might cook rice differently, I might cook pasta in an unusual way, but if the end result is the same - who cares?! Not everything has to be done the proper way - especially if the end result is the same. In Japan, everything has to be done in a certain way. 1 way. You dont do it any other way. If you do, you havent been taught properly.
...what?!

I do love Japan, strangely after what Ive said. There are decent people here.

But I dont think Ill ever find the down-to-earth friendliness that I can find back home.

please visit http://shambolicjigsaw.blogspot.com for a truly fucked gaijin.

[Pizzicatoblue]

Well of course, you're different. For instance, I'm a catholic. A lot americans in my country despise of my religion and denominations, but I really don't care. They (like protestants for example) think that you can live your life and pray one way only. Funny thing is, they told me that I was going to hell b/c of the way I live and pray. But what I'm trying to say is that don't worry where you live, just worry about your surroundings and finding the surroundings that you like to live in. As for me, I love Japan myself and I wish I could go there, but no one will never tell me how to live my life in a certain way...no one. But that decision is up to you. If you like it, go with it. If you don't, avoid it.

Here's one quote that will put your mind at ease:

" Your purpose is what your heart desires."

remember that.

[Mels]

I am different any where I go. In Japan I am FG, in the US, they think I am some other culture. I grew up a military brat.....base bound punk who lived with military propaganda. Did I love and do I love my life, HELL yeah.

When I worked in Japan, I saw the other side...meaning, not from someone who has Japanese grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I was, at first, treated differently because of my appearance.

People would ask me weird questions like, when you speak japanese do you think in japanese...etc...

As time went on, I adapted a philosophy...For me, I have the best of two cultures....I also have the worst of the two cultures.

Being raised by a Japanese mom and American dad can, at times, cause conflict within, but you learn to live with it and learn.

When in a homogenous society, one thing I learned was people are based on status...where you come from, your education, your associations, the company pin you wear, are very important (same in the US to a certain point).

Coming from your point of view....I think it is great that you are from London and a true Londoner. How many people today can really say that. In the US we are a melting pot of various cultures...sure there are those pure breeds, but not many. We have so many groups, such as : Irish, Scottisch, Asian (I wish they wouldnt lump everyone in one category like that, but they do because they think all asians are a like. Not so), German...you name it. There is a need to connect with their heritage. I am English, Irish, Scottish, German, Cherokee and 1/2 Japanese.

The key to being in a different culture, in my opionion is....learning.. Learning how to interact with different cultures. As my focus is business based, I bring to the corporate table value. I know how to work with Japanese, Chinese, Indian, French...etc. We all have our own ways and business habits.

Also, for me, being Agnostic in this country can be challenging. My mom is aetheist and dad was protestant. But who the f** cares.

I feel that, even if I think something doesnt seem right, if it is right for that person, so be it. I dont get hung up on the differences or judgements. I simply dont care and move on. There are many times I agree to disagree. This is for general things not major topics such as the death penalty...etc...

I remember working in a J company and they wanted me to wear the company uniform. You may say 'mels you just said that you didnt care and moved on'...but in this case it was impacting me personally....so I told them 'no'. I told them that they did not have to hire me if that was the case. OR I compromised..if I were to wear a uniform, the my counterparts (men) would have to as well. They never approached me again about the uniform.

Okay, I was young and felt it was not right. But, I was in Japan. It took me 3 months to get THAT CHIP off my shoulders.

If I did not knock that chip off, I would not have lasted. I am not saying you have a chip on your shoulder. I am saying that as time goes on, those things will not bother you as much if you look at it with a different perspective.....

If I get nasty looks or looks that appear judgemental...I just figure they are jealous because ,your damn right, I am different and unique.

peace out

[Pizzicatoblue]

AMEN BROTHER!!! ^_^

[karekora]

I feel that, even if I think something doesnt seem right, if it is right for that person, so be it. I dont get hung up on the differences or judgements. I simply dont care and move on. There are many times I agree to disagree. This is for general things not major topics such as the death penalty...etc...

Thanks for your comments. Maybe things will get better and im having a spurse of homesickness. When I first got here, i wasnt homesick at all, everything was new, exciting. Now the newness has worn off, and I know how things work. So Im getting depressed. I compaire Tokyo to London 24/7, but they are different countries on the opposite sides of the world. Both have good points, both have bad points.

As for what Mels said above;;;
I think thats what is bothering me most. The person Im staying with is very headstrong and vbery confident. Their way is the only way. I do things differently, and so they mock me, tell me I dont know how to do something, and laugh. But I dont see the big deal, especially when the end result is the same. I can imagine them telling me how to walk next - theyve already told me how to speak my own language - a language they are not fluent in.

Gees...
I just think the best thing fo rme to do is to get out of my current accommodation.

[FG Lurker]

[quote="karekora"]I feel that, even if I think something doesnt seem right, if it is right for that person, so be it. I dont get hung up on the differences or judgements. I simply dont care and move on. There are many times I agree to disagree. This is for general things not major topics such as the death penalty...etc...

Thanks for your comments. Maybe things will get better and im having a spurse of homesickness. When I first got here, i wasnt homesick at all, everything was new, exciting. Now the newness has worn off, and I know how things work. So Im getting depressed. I compaire Tokyo to London 24/7, but they are different countries on the opposite sides of the world. Both have good points, both have bad points.

As for what Mels said above]
You might find this post interesting:

http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forums/showthread.php?p=78818#post78818

(Or maybe not... But it's my 2 yen's worth anyway!)

[Mels]

[quote="karekora"][i]
As for what Mels said above]

Pushy, demanding, know it all people irritate me too. Since I do not know why you are house mates, I withhold from saying anything to strong. But you have the right idea.......get out of your current accomdations if you can. Sounds like they are a nag. It is one thing if the it is to help, but another to just do it. I should say that I am open to criticism if it is to support my efforts. But, like they say, advice is advice...people should have the option to take it or leave it. Learning from our mistakes is more valuable then someone always trying to advise us. And mocking me....well I would laugh at them and say...oh well, such as life and we all move on....

Homesickness hits me too. I use to play american videos all the time. I loved the commericals my friends would tape. Made me feel like i was in the US. (that was when I was on my own working for a J corp). You will do just fine.....it will come and go. If you can establish a strong group of buddies, that will ease the time as well.

For me, I use to get on the train in shibuya, head to shinjyuku and spend a lot of time at Kinokuniya. My parents were in Yamatoshi and I would visit them from time to time (wish I visited more often) but there were many weekends I would spend on my own. My other US colleagues were living in the men's Ryo that was about 2 hours away. I use to feel left out because they could all hang out, but I was the woman out....because I was placed in Shimokitazawa. (Of course I am not complaining)...it took time, but as I said, after I got that chip off my shoulders, I had a blast.

Keep us posted buddy. Ganbatte NE.

Peace out