When is it time to go 'Home'?

[Oradea]

Does there ever come a time for the fucked gaijin to go home and assimilate back into their native environment and become just 'fucked'?

Having been here 4 years now, and done the same job for four years...??????? I'm starting to wonder when the expiry date is for FG's in the land of the rising manga.

[Watcher]

assimilate back into their native environment and become just 'fucked'

Yeah... but you know the phrase "you can never go home again".

[gkanai]

4 years is a common turning point, because of the financial hit foreigners take after 4 years (something to do about not getting pension money back? I dunno as I'm Japanese.)

I'd say try changing jobs or changing towns at least once before moving back. To have the same job for 4 years is about my personal limit (before I get bored.)

[Mels]

Being in Japan for so long, I wanted to come back to the US. But, it is true when they say beware of what you wish for. I had a major culture shock when I came back to California. I still experience this today and I have been back since 95. Yep, 10 years back. What do I feel today? I wish I could do six months in Tokyo and six months in California....but for now, I just come here and get connected and enjoy everyday to my fullest.

This place is wonderful...so many things I can connect with and learn what has changed in Japan...sure I get that from my relatives, but this place is like home for me...I finally feel I belong

[kurohinge1]

Does there ever come a time for the fucked gaijin to go home and assimilate back into their native environment and become just 'fucked'? ...

Many/most of the photos on [url=http://images.google.com.au/images?q=tbn:YBij_y_xOGUJ:[url]www.sukaparu.jp/sp/1999/0821/gaijin.jpg][/url]Random Gaijin Shot of the Day[/url] suggest that there is a use by or at least a best before date for FG's. Don't ask me where it's stamped.



Maybe it's like Catch 22 - If you want out, you're sane and should stay in.

[Mennon]

Go home for a holiday. After a month, you'll be aching to get back. Apart from the lack of ramen and canned hot coffee, you realise that just about everyone outside Japan is very, very angry about something. At least people pretend to be polite here. Change jobs, move town, marry your girlfriend or boyfriend, have a kid. It doesn't have to be the twilight zone. It's a nice place to live.

[Taro Toporific]

When is it time to go 'Home'?

It's "time" when you start pointing to your nose rather than using a personal pronoun.

"cocking a snoot"

[Kurofune]

My FG timeline: I first went to Japan in '91 with the US Air Force, got out of the military in '94 and came back to the US to finish school, then went back to Japan in '97 and taught EFL for six years. After a total of nine years, I left Japan last April and am now back in my hometown with my Japanese wife and three-month-old boy.

Before I left, a fellow FG warned me against returning to the US lest I find myself driving a cab. There was no doubt in his mind that that's what becomes of FG returnees. After a few months of searching, I landed a job as an investment advisor with a large investment company. Before that, I had a stop-gap at a retail store and was offered an assistant manager position on my second day on the job. So there are good opportunities -- even ones that don't involve your link to Japan.

As nicely as things have fallen into place for me, I miss Japan. I find myself craving those jaunts to Shinjuku, Shibuya, Ameyoko, Akihabara, and Machida. There are a lot of things in those shopping meccas that are hard to find in the US. Then there's that general Japanese atmosphere and that FG tension that pretty much drives your existence. And those bullet train rides through the countryside were sublime. It would be nice to get back to it, but that's a lifetime ago for this new father. Now that I have a son to raise, I need more job security and opportunites than I had in Japan. Dicking around Tokyo on my terms is a luxury I won't have for the next several years.

Finally, I need to remind myself that I left Japan for a good reason. After living there for all that time, I realized that I was more of a long-term sojourner than somebody who took my integration into Japanese society seriously (not that integration was ever an option). Although many things about Japan earned my respect, I held the country at arms length. I'm sure people realized that I was floating through their society in a bubble that was only penetrable by other FG. I'm sure they saw my diplomacy for what it was, and I was probably labeled as standoff-ish and even meiwaku. Considering my strong feelings about immigration reform in the US, it wasn't right for me to stay in Japan. Nevertheless, I still miss it. But I'll eventually find the time to have more recreation here and will start building heartful experiences. I won't ever let go of Japan, but it'll probably move to the back burner.

[Neo-Rio]

English teaching for one of the big three is not a career here. If you're doing any kind of English teaching here in Japan, and you're not working towards your masters degree in education - then you need to get the hell out of Japan (or the hell out of English teaching) and stop wasting your time.

There, I said it.

[jjaappaa]

I think that when i was in Japan I found that the problem wasn't with Japan per se but with my life in Japan. Like some of the other posters said, a change is as good as a holiday. My reasons for leaving Japan earlier than expected were linked to a poor relationship with my girlfriend which was brining me down and job dis-satisfaction. Maybe if you change the job that you have been doing for 4 years you will be renewed? Anyway today is 2 weeks until I go back to Japan and I can't wait. Something else that is important is that home is where you make it. Do you feel like Japan is a home for you?

[Kurofune]

English teaching for one of the big three is not a career here. If you're doing any kind of English teaching here in Japan, and you're not working towards your masters degree in education - then you need to get the hell out of Japan (or the hell out of English teaching) and stop wasting your time.

There, I said it.

Not that I completey disagree, but it's interesting how passionately some people have to pounce on this. How does it harm anybody else if Kenny Canada or Andy Aussie wants to float some time away in eikaiwa? They're big enough to make that choice for themselves.

[FG Lurker]

For me it is very simple: If you are not happy here then you need to either fix the cause of that, or consider moving somewhere else where your chances of being happy are higher. If you are happy here and satisfied with your life and your life's direction, leaving without a specific reason to is only likely to reduce that happiness.

I've just rolled past the 10 year mark in Japan. Nowhere near as long as the true long-termers here (Taro, Steve, others too I'm sure), but it's been awhile. I enjoy my life and career here and I think that having to move home at this point would drive me nuts.

I may end up in Europe in a couple of years though, depending on how a potential job offer works out...

[sillygirl]

8 weeks til I leave.

Here's the question:

Will I be an ex-fucked gaijin or a fucked ex-gaijin?

(gulp)

[FG Lurker]

8 weeks til I leave.

Here's the question:

Will I be an ex-fucked gaijin or a fucked ex-gaijin?

(gulp)

Not sure which, but either way you're going to have to edit your avatar to represent the "new you"!

[sillygirl]

True. Where can I download a picture of a train wreck survivor with the 100 yard stare?

[FG Lurker]

True. Where can I download a picture of a train wreck survivor with the 100 yard stare?

Actually I was thiking more a photoshop job on your current one. Adding a red "ex" to it or something.

Are you ready for the culture shock? I had it so bad the first time I left Japan. And I had only been here a year then! I didn't expect it at all and it was damn hard to deal with.

[sillygirl]

Am I ready? Nope. Plan to stay as drunk and stoned as possible!

Seriously, everyone keeps warning me about it. I have been home 6 times in 12 years, for v. short visits.

However, going back to uni to study Japanese literature, will have a Japanese flat mate, and am lined up for part time work at Honda. As part of my course, I will come back for a year. Plan to keep a toe or two dipped in, as it were.

I have also kind of missed England, and am excited about going back as a different me.....

[FG Lurker]

Am I ready? Nope. Plan to stay as drunk and stoned as possible!

Seriously, everyone keeps warning me about it. I have been home 6 times in 12 years, for v. short visits.

However, going back to uni to study Japanese literature, will have a Japanese flat mate, and am lined up for part time work at Honda. As part of my course, I will come back for a year. Plan to keep a toe or two dipped in, as it were.

I have also kind of missed England, and am excited about going back as a different me.....

For me it went something like this... When I can to Japan I expected everything to be different. And it was. There was still a certain amount of culture shock once the "honeymoon stage" passed, but it wasn't unexpected.

When I went home though, I expected everything to be "normal". Of course it actually was normal I guess, but living in Japan (even for a year) had changed what my perception of "normal" was. So things did not seem at all normal... It was damn hard to adjust!

Sounds like you will have plenty to keep you busy though and I'm sure that will help.

[dimwit]

Does there ever come a time for the fucked gaijin to go home and assimilate back into their native environment and become just 'fucked'?

Having been here 4 years now, and done the same job for four years...??????? I'm starting to wonder when the expiry date is for FG's in the land of the rising manga.

Unless, you have made some good contacts here, fours years here will help you assimilate into the line the permanantly unemployable back home. Just Kidding! But I think by the time you hit four years, you are definitely at a crossroads, as Eikiwai doesn't really count on a resume. I been here ten years and I can't figure out what I would (or could) do if I had to go back.

[hakuman]

It's "time" when you start pointing to your nose rather than using a personal pronoun.

I started doing that within a month of arriving!

[puargs]

What are your thoughts on the ease of moving into a more stable job area from eikaiawa, while still living in Japan? Moreover, do you see any opportunity for doing this with a bachelors in Asian Languages and Literature? Otherwise, I'm *really* fucked. I might have to bounce my butt back somewhere in between, maybe find a nice hole in the wall shack on Maui, teaching Japanese or proper English to pinyin speakers.

[American Oyaji]

Im here in the states now. It's been almost 5 years since I left Japan.

I didn't intend to be gone this long. I loved Japan and didn't want to leave.

Anyway, havent seen the missus or the bairns in five years either. (her fault).

I plan on finishing my degree and going back.

[Mels]

Interesting dilema. When I graduated from college, I joined a J company and went to Japan as an expat.
I did have friends who decided to go to Japan to teach English after college. It was the easiest avenue to get to Japan for them. Also, a few went to Japan their last year of college as well.

Most of them stayed for one or two years. They did make a lot of connections. Then they returned to the US. A few of them joined companies here, others decided to go for their masters and some actually teach now. Not sure where they are at right now.

I am not sure what to say. If someone has only taught English all this time, do they make enough money? Do they see a future in teaching? Are they working on their masters? Since I came from a business side, I was transfered to the US to work here for my company. I would still be with them if I did not refuse to move to NY. But that experience helped as a BIG Stepping stone for other opportunities.

Has anyone ever thought about teaching for the foreign schools? I am just putting this out if they are interested in education. I have freinds who taught here in the US. They decided to join the International Schools to teach abroad. They taught in St. Petersburg in Russia, some place in Africa and now they are in NY.

While in Malaysia, I met an american guy who was setting up an International School for diplomat's kids there. It sounded very exciting.

So, if traveling and living abroad is still in your blood, you would still love to teach, but you may want a change of venue, looking into the international schools may be an option?

Sounds like some people are doing the right thing, they have done their homework and have things lined up for them on their return to where ever they are from.

[sillygirl]

One of the (many) reasons for me leaving is that I couldn't stand doing Eikaiwa ANY LONGER! Teaching was fun while it lasted, but jesus, would go insane if I sat in a kindergarten with the ABC flashcards for much longer.

Want to use brain, duh.....

[Oradea]

I can barely even speak English anymore.

I didn't experience any culture shock when I first came here, but any time I've visited home, I've been embarrassed at some of the crap that goes on there.

I'm in my late twenties, already have my masters, But Ican't see any avenue of work that would allow me to stay in Japan and raise a family, which is eventually what I plan on getting round to.

But then again, If I go home, I might just go on a rampage and kill a lot of ignorant people.

Decisions, decisions....

[FG Lurker]

What are your thoughts on the ease of moving into a more stable job area from eikaiawa, while still living in Japan?

Sure. I did it. I started in 1993 working for Nova on a working holiday visa. I went back to them on my 2nd WHV in 1995. Then I went to Japanese school for a year and a half and taught English at a tiny school in Nara. I also started a consulting business during this time. Through the contacts I made in the consulting business I was hired to manage the Osaka office of a Tokyo-based company. I later moved from that position to my current job.

It is possible. It takes hard work though, and of course some luck and good timing! Get out to meishi-exchange events and meet people. The more people you know the better your chances are. Something will break eventually.

I nearly did myself in running the consulting company but if I hadn't done it I would never have gotten to the job I am in now...

Keep at it!!

[FG Lurker]

But then again, If I go home, I might just go on a rampage and kill a lot of ignorant people.

Decisions, decisions....

This is the same dilemma I face...

That and although I enjoy going home I find it incredibly boring after a short time. It's cool to see everyone of course, but *nothing* ever changes! I'd go nuts in a very short time span.

[Kurofune]

I'm actually thinking about the possibility of tailoring my new career experience toward another stay in Japan. I definitely wouldn't teach next time around, and I'd like to go to Japan with a company. I think you're treated better if you show up associated with a large company. Not that I was treated horribly before, but more doors probably open. I remember going to a nihongo school and almost being refused admission when they heard I worked at an eikaiwa. It was only because I was in admin that they considered me further.

[ichigo partygirl]

I was only in Japan for a year - and that was five years ago, but i still find myself saying daily "In Japan.....". I still bow at people when i say thanks or when cars let me cross the road, and still find myself saying un,un,un and nodding like a puppet when people talk to me. To help myself ive turned this "japan-sickness" into my university study. Thankfully i will be coming back in September for one year as part of my study. 7 months to go -i cant wait. There is something about the place which turned me inside out and left me different.

[gomichild]

The time to go is when you get irritated by everything around you.

I've found that a number of people who hated their job started hating everything about Japan. Not sure that's true of home.