Your Last Day as an English Teacher -- How did you or will..

[zentogo]

Your Last Day as an English Teacher -- How did you or will you go out? Fighting ? Or like an ass kissing loser?

My Recommendations

1. Do your best not to tell anyone you are leaving. Just leave. But spatter some blood and hair and fibers around your seat for the CSI team.

2. That one annoying student -- just hit'em in the Jaw.

3. Explain your past criminal record to the staff on the last day. And express your actual hobbies are shopplifting, watching porn, and rding the bus while on Acid.

4. Steal something. Or a few things. You should steal from an annoying student as well as the staff.

5. Burn something. Put that fire drill to the test. Maybe burn the cheap bike you have been riding to the school -- through Typhoons, Snow etc-- some gasoline on the tires should work well.

6. Pretend to speak Chinese or Russian on the last day. Teach your very last class in a language you are inventing as you go.

7. Wear the same clothes all week -- by the last day -- well enough said.

8. Order a pizza for lunch -- hell order 10 -- just do whatever you can to get people not to eat the school lunches. They are full of mind control drugs anyway.

9. Drink -- as soon as you arrive -- and between every class. Stack the cans on your desk and make it a point to have a creative beer pyramid.

10. USE a stack of "pennies" or other small dense coins to lock the principle in his office. This might actually result in a closing and not require a bomb threat. If you wanna make a bomb threat, use someone elses Keitai.


Anyway -- please add any thoughts here I only have 2 days left and my plan is just now forming.

ZTG

[FG Lurker]

How about just finishing up and leaving like any other day?

It's a job dude... You may hate it, but you're paid to do it. Grow up.

[Edit: Maybe a mod can move this to Beyond Fucked? It seems like it should be there...]

[ichigo partygirl]

sounds good on paper but thats the sort of thing that gives gaijins a bad name.

[AssKissinger]

I did some nasty shit to one company I especially hated and I don't regret it one bit. If they've been treating you shitty get even with the fucking turds.

And this doesn't belong in BF. This is completely gaijin and Japan related.

[oyajikun]

Get the school name tatooed in Old English across your belly and show it off to everyone.

[AssKissinger]

Also, it tends to be a bit easier to get laid when you're on your way out. Sentimental sayonara fucks. The Japanese go for that stuff big time. Plus, there's no baggage. Unless you get herpes or something.

[zentogo]

I happy that some people still have a sense of humor. I am sad that some people thought I was actually going to do anything.

A little creative thinking never hurt anyone.

And the Tatoo idea is great.

[Big Booger]

My father always said to whip them with kindness. I've taken that expression to heart and I feel better for it.

[Papa-Lazarou]

11) Start to stroke the hair of your pupils while they speak to you, concerntrate your efforts on boys under, say 13.

12) Take an unhealthy interest in what your pupils do after school, start to turn up at their soccer games and so on, bringing Pocari Sweat to drink, explain to his parents that he "prefers it"

13) and so on

[Papa-Lazarou]

My father always said to whip them with kindness. I've taken that expression to heart and I feel better for it.

Yeah? Well my father always said "fight fire with fire", unfortunately that sentiment did mean an enforced early retirement from his job in the fire service

[oyajikun]

I've read that pouring liquid on people is fun. Maybe do that between your classes.

[sillygirl]

When it came to the end for me, I couldn't be arsed to do anything. Just couldn't wait to get outta there!!

But surely there are some good 'fuck off' stories out there.....

[Jshop]

Haha some good ones there!

Just have fun and talk to the people you enjoyed spending time with. Dont worry about the people you didnt like, no point hanging around them. Forget about trading emails and that as most of the Japanese never just idle chat like we like to do.

Oh and FG Lurker, your a Dickhead.

Cheers

[Big Booger]

My father always said to whip them with kindness. I've taken that expression to heart and I feel better for it.

Yeah? Well my father always said "fight fire with fire", unfortunately that sentiment did mean an enforced early retirement from his job in the fire service

quaintly funny.

[FG Lurker]

Oh and FG Lurker, your a Dickhead.

Thanks buddy.

[FG Lurker]

I happy that some people still have a sense of humor. I am sad that some people thought I was actually going to do anything.

I worked as an English teacher when I first arrived in Japan. I met a lot of good people, and more than a few total pricks. You may think your post is funny (and obviously it was exaggerated), but there are people who will actually do shit like that.

[dimwit]

I think it depends on your experience with the eikaiwa in question. I know of a few who have been fucked over royally by their employers. Still is revenge worth screwing yourself out of your last months salary plus bonus? IF so then I recommand the following..

Ask your female students if they have ever experienced Bukkake or if they want to learn. Tell your students that for the last year you have had a shoe camera and have been taking upskirt pictures of them over the past year.

For male students, bring in gay porno video and translate it for them. Tell them it is your bosses video.

[hakuman]

Doing rough shit to fuck over the company would be fine, but in doing that you are fucking over some poor student who has done nothing wrong.

Even if you hate your company, you should remember that these students are paying money that they (or their parents if they are kids) have spent time working for, maybe, or even probably, doing a job that is just as shitty as yours. You dont want some fucker wasting your money, so do you think they want you wasting theirs?

[prolly]

when did everybody become a prankster? just be a fucking adult and work your last day and then leave. jesus - is it that hard to do?

[Buraku]

Your Last Day as an English Teacher -- How did you or will you go out? Fighting ? Or like an ass kissing loser?

My Recommendations

1. Do your best not to tell anyone you are leaving. Just leave. But spatter some blood and hair and fibers around your seat for the CSI team.

2. That one annoying student -- just hit'em in the Jaw.

3. Explain your past criminal record to the staff on the last day. And express your actual hobbies are shopplifting, watching porn, and rding the bus while on Acid.

4. Steal something. Or a few things. You should steal from an annoying student as well as the staff.

5. Burn something. Put that fire drill to the test. Maybe burn the cheap bike you have been riding to the school -- through Typhoons, Snow etc-- some gasoline on the tires should work well.

6. Pretend to speak Chinese or Russian on the last day. Teach your very last class in a language you are inventing as you go.

7. Wear the same clothes all week -- by the last day -- well enough said.

8. Order a pizza for lunch -- hell order 10 -- just do whatever you can to get people not to eat the school lunches. They are full of mind control drugs anyway.

9. Drink -- as soon as you arrive -- and between every class. Stack the cans on your desk and make it a point to have a creative beer pyramid.

10. USE a stack of "pennies" or other small dense coins to lock the principle in his office. This might actually result in a closing and not require a bomb threat. If you wanna make a bomb threat, use someone elses Keitai.


Anyway -- please add any thoughts here I only have 2 days left and my plan is just now forming.

ZTG

wow! Those are some fucking great ideas


bomb threat using someone elses Keitai and use smoke bombs for added effects ?

Order a 1,000 pizzas for lunch ?

Teach em all zulu, latin, Egyptian and Basque

http://www.boingboing.net/images/_robodump_robodump2-2.jpg

But since the Japanese are into Seppuku, suicides and Kamikaze people can do one like this your half-asleep friend holding a fake suicide note, and students staring in shock at the numerous pills spread all over the counter back to my 'body' and back again. Your friend chokes a bit, and runs in, and grabs your students, and started saying something rather loudly, almost to the point of scream ...a lot of Help Help rubbish

you guys are nuts

[Ketou]

I thought it was a bit of a stupid topic title so didn't bother reading it till today.
Now I know why!

[Mennon]

A guy I know, after four years (!) at the biggest Eikawa, wore a hawaiian shirt, shorets and thongs to work, drank a beer between each lesson, did handstands in the class, and taught "woomp, dere it is!" to 7C's to use when ever you state your opinion. Then he told the staff to fuck off. Mind you, they called him the next week to cover for a sick teacher, and he went back. The guy was a dick.
Moral of the story - it doesn't matter what you do, dude.

[Adhesive]

Jebus, some of you must be the absolute life of parties.

I'm always amazed at how many stick-in-the-mud types frequent a board called fucked-gaijin.

Obviously this thread is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, if you immediately think these are serious suggestions you might just be closer to the edge of gaijin insanity than you think. :P