What is your standard response to...

[dimwit]

For some reason or other, recently a number of people who have talked English at me have seemed to want me to hear their confession. One old gaffer ambled up to me during Hanami season and started telling me all about how much he admired MacArthur because of the horrors of WWII, which he described in detail. I also seem to be a rape story magnet. I have lost count of the number of J-women and in a couple cases J-men who seemed to want to tell me all.

[Iraira]

For some reason or other, recently a number of people who have talked English at me have seemed to want me to hear their confession. One old gaffer ambled up to me during Hanami season and started telling me all about how much he admired MacArthur because of the horrors of WWII, which he described in detail. I also seem to be a rape story magnet. I have lost count of the number of J-women and in a couple cases J-men who seemed to want to tell me all.

Yes, the free psychiatrist. Someone let the exaggerated cat out of the bag that foreigners have this long history of quickly confessing their sins, problems, fetishes, etc to each other upon meeting, "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Iraira, and I was molested by an outboard motor when I was 10 years old."
The "I want to get divorced" housewives are funny, but sadly, that confession does not always translate into, "I want to sleep with you, now."

A guys ear is actually a woman's favorite sexual organ.

[Behan]

Yes, the free psychiatrist. Someone let the exaggerated cat out of the bag that foreigners have this long history of quickly confessing their sins, problems, fetishes, etc to each other upon meeting, "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Iraira, and I was molested by an outboard motor when I was 10 years old."
The "I want to get divorced" housewives are funny, but sadly, that confession does not always translate into, "I want to sleep with you, now."

A guys ear is actually a woman's favorite sexual organ.

Truer words have never been spoken.

[American Oyaji]

[quote="Adhesive"]Man you guys are mean, lol. It would suprise me if any of you were from the mid-west, USA. ]


As a matter of fact, I live in Columbus, Ohio

[canman]

I third the motion that a private English class might as well take place in a churches confessional booth. What surprised me was the frankness and candor that women students would tell you about all kinds of problems they had. I heard about erectile dysfunction, to affairs, rape and of course the oldy but goody, molestation. I don't think I could tell such private matters to someone I had only met a month ago.

[GomiGirl]

Well help may be at hand. I took these photos outside the East Exit of Shinjuku station about half an hour ago.




A big group of Americans with signs offering FREE 5 minute English conversations. I stopped and had a chat to one of them. They had little booklets with some prepared phrases like "what are your hobbies?", "favourite movies" and other banalities. But of course at the end they will discuss their own christian beliefs with their victims.

So this may in fact scare people off from ever asking for a free English conversation ever again.

While I was taking photos, one guy was looking kinda suspicious - well I guess he knew I wasn't on their team. But the rest of them were dewy eyed and totally thinking they were doing Japan a favour.

[Samurai_Jerk]

A big group of Americans with signs offering FREE 5 minute English conversations. I stopped and had a chat to one of them. They had little booklets with some prepared phrases like ... "favourite movies".

Something about this story just doesn't jive

[Behan]

Well help may be at hand. I took these photos outside the East Exit of Shinjuku station about half an hour ago.




So this may in fact scare people off from ever asking for a free English conversation ever again.

Please send hordes of them my way!

[Greji, no, that's 'hordes', not 'whores'. ]

[GomiGirl]

[quote="Samurai_Jerk"]Something about this story just doesn't jive ]

Opps - sorry about that - the spelling was mine. But they were all definitely North Americans. Didn't ask them their stories as I was too afraid they would try to convert me from my bitter and cynical Owellian existentialism to their God Squad.

[Takechanpoo]

A big group of Americans with signs offering FREE 5 minute English conversations.

While I was taking photos, one guy was looking kinda suspicious

Apparently new method of Mormonism's invitation.

[GomiGirl]

Apparently new method of Mormonism's invitation.

Take - the guy with the long hair is not a mormon - actually none of them were. Probably more like some born-again evangelical type church. They had that cheerful, earnest yet dorky look about them.

Mormons are usually easy to spot as they will have very clean cut hairstyles, white shirts (short sleeved), black thin ties and black trousers. They will always wear a name badge too as they do not hide what they are about.

In a way I kinda respect the mormons more than these people who were using the old "bait and switch" method of evangelising. I know religion is all about market share but I still think it was a bit sneaky.

[james]

Opps - sorry about that - the spelling was mine. But they were all definitely North Americans.

well we northern north americans do spell it that way.

[Adhesive]

As a matter of fact, I live in Columbus, Ohio

Yeah, but you're black. People don't talk to you, they just "get all up in your face." It's only appropriate that your first instinct is to crush them into the ground.

[tokoyama]

I got ambushed at Yamada Denki. But it was a little different. I was looking for a new mouse, and after looking at the myriad of mouse, this nicely dressed guy came up and asked me if I what I was looking for. He looked like he could have been a worker, so I said, I wanted a cordless mouse, and he started to look for one with me. Then he started to ask me questions in English, what do I do, and how long had I been in Japan. He spoke quite well, and then he whipped out a business card stating that he is a member of the Jehovah's Witness and he invited me to go to their prayer meetings. I grabbed a mouse and took off, thanking him for his help.

We all know that japanese people suck at speaking english but those guys are really good at it! While i was living in Japan they did come to our gaijin dormitory pretty often...

[Dragonette]

We all know that japanese people suck at speaking english but those guys [Jehovah's Witnesses] are really good at it! While i was living in Japan they did come to our gaijin dormitory pretty often...

Pushy Japanese flavor Jehovah's Witnesses try to get to us here (NYC), too. Their standard procedure is to tell the doorman their name (Tanaka, Suzuki, whatever) and ask for our Apt No. The doorman thinks they're a friend, and asks to send them up. I say I'll see them in the lobby just in case it's really one of Aki's coworkers, etc., and when I see who they are, depending on my mood I make up some creative bullshit on the spot to get rid of them. I think they go through phonebooks looking for Japanese surnames. We haven't had domestic variety JW doorbell ringers here at all, mainly because they at least say who they really are, so don't get past the staff.

[Visitor K]

i always used to get talked at in the onsen. it got so annoying i wouldnt go alone. nothing more relaxing than everyone looking at you while a naked riman tries to practice his english.

[FG Lurker]

I have met a couple of cool "eigo bandits" during my time here but most are just annoying and often a bit loopy.

Avoiding public transit is a good way to avoid 99% of these people.

[amdg]

[quote="Samurai_Jerk"]Something about this story just doesn't jive ]

jibe

[Typhoon]

...balding salarymen fucks that come up to you in public places and ask if they can speak English AT you?...

I'm just curious, as a friend of mine tonight told one guy to fuck right off to his face tonight....

anyway, fire away....

Your immature friend needs a much thicker skin along with a remedial course in basic manners.

I doubt his high opinion of himself is deserved. Probably shouldn't be in Japan in the first place.

There's no excuse for such petty rudeness unless they're trying to perform an unsolicited high colonic.

[kusai Jijii]

Your immature friend needs a much thicker skin along with a remedial course in basic manners. Probably shouldn't be in Japan in the first place.
.

Thanks Typhoon. In appreciation of your free 'how to live with the natives 101' advice, I'm sending you this chugen...(with 3 extra cans of coke!). Lube yourself up buddy...

[Iraira]

Thanks Typhoon. In appreciation of your free 'how to live with the natives 101' advice, I'm sending you this chugen...(with 3 extra cans of coke!). Lube yourself up buddy...

I prefer Pepsi to Coke.

[kusai Jijii]

I prefer Pepsi to Coke.

Lifes a bitch big fella. You take what you can get.

[Typhoon]

Thanks Typhoon. In appreciation of your free 'how to live with the natives 101' advice, I'm sending you this chugen...(with 3 extra cans of coke!). Lube yourself up buddy...

Lame.

And you're welcome.

[kusai Jijii]

Lame.

Are you refering to my post or yours?

[Iraira]

Lifes a bitch big fella. You take what you can get.

The insult would have been stronger had the dildo been measured against something like cans of RC Cola....gotta give that low class anal buttplug friction blister popping feeling. I mean with no lube whatsoever, preferably with the dildo wrapped in a coarse-grade sandpaper with an high molarity acetic acid anal douching afterwards. I know a good one-legged doctor who gives a decent colonoscopy....would love to see the damage that such an anal probing caused...preferably on Blue-ray.

[wuchan]

Your immature friend needs a much thicker skin along with a remedial course in basic manners.

I doubt his high opinion of himself is deserved. Probably shouldn't be in Japan in the first place.

There's no excuse for such petty rudeness unless they're trying to perform an unsolicited high colonic.

Telling people to fuck off is a great way to piss them off........ and in the case of salary men, seeing them pissed can be very entertaining. Why cant FGs be rude? Is there some rule book that I have not read? Are you the manners police?

In my experience it always seems like the people who randomly stop you on the street (in any country) most likely want something from you.

[kusai Jijii]

The insult would have been stronger had the dildo been measured ...

It wasa BLOODY CHUGEN for　Christ's sake...

Thats it! I'm done with the P.C. new age sensitive Kusai Jijiii game - its just not me. I'm reverting back to the smelly old first rate cunt that I truely am.

[Iraira]

[quote="kusai Jijii"]It was a BLOODY CHUGEN for　]

Where did you get it? Some people might want a 3 RC Cola can dildo especially if it's from 109, designer gyaru colors, etc. I love the summer dildo sales season...

actually, I prefer the summer Tenga sales season, but sometimes dry spells make one...fuck that, I ain't confessing anything unless I've been beer boarded at some prison camp in Cuba or unless there's a stack of cash on the table.

[Typhoon]

Are you refering to my post or yours?

Lamer.

Looks like you were soliciting only for opinions in support of your friend's rudeness.

[American Oyaji]

Lifes a bitch big fella. You take what you can get.

Reminds me of a line of Bogart's from the Maltese Falcon.

"When you're slapped, you're gonna take it and like it."