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I disagree. I think AO is doing the right thing, taking care of himself first and helping the children whenever he can.NeoNecroNomiCron wrote:There are universial truths and one of them is putting your children before yourself.
Jesus, what a waste of money. That comes out to $18,000 a year. From the description of your friend I'm assuming the wife filed for divorce, so she must have understood the financial situation beforehand. Sounds like he's just handing her spending money IMHO.Big Booger wrote:He sends about $1500 to his kids every month. He calls them, but sometimes the J-wife just hangs up the phone on him. He sends cards, and does everything he can.. but in reality he can only visit the children when the J-wife/ex-wife allows it... and in this past year he has seen them twice.
cstaylor wrote:Jesus, what a waste of money. That comes out to $18,000 a year. From the description of your friend I'm assuming the wife filed for divorce, so she must have understood the financial situation beforehand. Sounds like he's just handing her spending money IMHO.Big Booger wrote:He sends about $1500 to his kids every month. He calls them, but sometimes the J-wife just hangs up the phone on him. He sends cards, and does everything he can.. but in reality he can only visit the children when the J-wife/ex-wife allows it... and in this past year he has seen them twice.
Wait, a Japanese court is making him pay, but not enforcing visitation? IIRC, I thought the Japanese courts don't get involved in these matters, they just assign the child to one (usually the Japanese national) parent and leave it at that.Big Booger wrote:it was actually the court made him send it.. he got the shaft in the divorce....
cstaylor wrote:Wait, a Japanese court is making him pay, but not enforcing visitation? IIRC, I thought the Japanese courts don't get involved in these matters, they just assign the child to one (usually the Japanese national) parent and leave it at that.Big Booger wrote:it was actually the court made him send it.. he got the shaft in the divorce....
cstaylor wrote: IIRC AO's ex-wife used to work as a hostess.
I think you are making a wise decision and getting your college degree, taking Japanese courses, and preparing before coming here... Sure you could come like AK has stated, take some private lessons, and survive... but your long-term success here is severely hampered...
$1,500 a month? That's outrageous! If you don't mind me asking, what's his salary?Big Booger wrote:In his case, he was forced to pay child support. The court did get involved, and with their rikon, he has visititation, but it is not enforced at all... the money is however, because he works in Japan.... they take it directly out of his bank... He is in such a fucked condition.. it is beyond words...
Maths Dude wrote:Sheeeeeit, we were thinkin about pushing out a kid, now I'm having second thoughts after reading this thread! <---- dont do it ?!
AssKissinger wrote:If you have any doubt don't do it.
GuyJean wrote:AssKissinger wrote:If you have any doubt don't do it.If parents have absolutely no doubts or second thoughts before having kids, they're completely ignorant. It's the commitment after the second-guessing that's important.. Questioning a decision helps prepare us for all possible obstacles, IMO..
GJ
I agree.. There are a lot of people who had kids that shouldn't have... But I also know some who straightened out once the kids came along.. They didn't want them, doubted having them, contemplated ending it early, etc.. But they had their kids, and they're great parents.. Now... After all the doubt.AssKissinger wrote:The world would be a much better place and not so digustingly overpopulated if only people who were really cut out for it had kids...
Ohhh, AK. I've never done anything hard to your ass.AssKissinger wrote:Don't hard ass me on semantics you know what I'm saying.
cstaylor wrote:$1,500 a month? That's outrageous! If you don't mind me asking, what's his salary?Big Booger wrote:In his case, he was forced to pay child support. The court did get involved, and with their rikon, he has visititation, but it is not enforced at all... the money is however, because he works in Japan.... they take it directly out of his bank... He is in such a fucked condition.. it is beyond words...
He should skip the country. He'll never be able to build a suitable home for himself in Japan on $18,000/yr.Big Booger wrote:I think he brings home about $3000.. so in essence, half.
AssKissinger wrote:Before you have a kid you should know for sure in your heart that if the kid is severely handicapped you'll still want it. . The world would be a much better place and not so digustingly overpopulated if only people who were really cut out for it had kids. You need a nice savings plus a solid income, a very solid peaceful marriage with no trust problems at all, patience (extreme patience) and education and intelligence (that's right dumbasses shouldn't breed). The way people always encourage married couples to hurry up and have kids is stupid. Having a baby just because you want one is just plain selfish.
Maths Dude wrote:Skip the country sounds good to me. The kids have been poisoned by the mother, it's all over. I know, I was one of those kids.
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